Youth ministry is a net loss of boys & undermines growth. Ages 14+ boys need multiple older mentors so he doesn't rely on an ill-equipped peer group to make sense of life. He needs adult community more than peers outside of school. Fathers, get your sons! amazon.com/Raising-Boys-T…
From this book👆🏾(the Torah, Aristotle, & psych): "From 14 to adult...the boy needs male mentors if he his to complete the journey to being fully grown-up...the aim is for your son to learn skills, responsibility & self-respect by joining more with more with the ADULT COMMUNITY."
Fathers, he needs to be around you, your friends, their sons for formation. In 2020, he doesn't need a 23-year-old in his life as much. Evangelical churches are the exact opposite of 1000s of years of wisdom(Deut 6:1-9, Prov 1-5) & 1000s of pages of psychology teach. Intervene!
This isn't about "integrating" or "supporting the family." Blah, blah. This is not what *your* son needs. We need to stop setting boys up for failure/struggle because we are in captivity to an outdated 1950s ministry model. It's 2020, boys need time *away* from peers for growth.
What are we doing? Churches don't set boys up for failure by keeping them with peers. Every boy in your church needs at least 2-3 adult men in his life. He doesn't need a night of games, throwing food, a skit, a 15-minute take, and a peer breakout group. psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mo…
