There are an awful lot of headlines about the #PortlandProtests that clearly need fixing.
Behold, a thread providing this service, beginning with this gem, sent to me by my own mother.
Fixed: Local Leaders Cast Themselves in Role of 'Good Cop' to Feds' 'Bad Cop'
Behold, a thread providing this service, beginning with this gem, sent to me by my own mother.
Fixed: Local Leaders Cast Themselves in Role of 'Good Cop' to Feds' 'Bad Cop'
Fixed version: Volunteer Medics Say They Join Protesters to Keep People Safe, Paid Police Say They Joined the Police Force to Keep People in Danger
Fixed version: 'It Hurts Us to Get Paid to Hurt You': Portland Officers Exhausted Physically, Emotionally After Week of Protests, Deputy Chief Says
Fixed version: "Portland Autonomous Zone Is Destroyed by Criminals I Mean Cops Wait No I Mean Criminals"
Fixed version: "Rose City Justice Returns From Retreat"
Fixed version: Federal Officers Severely Wounded a Portland Protester. Local Leaders Blame Trump, Refuse to Take Responsibility for Getting Us Into This Mess in the First Place
Fixed version: Pilot Tautology Initiative: For Portland Police to Provide the Name of an Officer at Protests, You Have to Give Them the Officer's Name First, PPB Department of Circular Logic Praised
Fixed version: Goodnight, Sweet Prince: Our Beloved Elk Lord Ascends to Heavenly Plane, Acolytes Vow to Tend His Sacred Flame
"It's what he would've wanted," say devotees.
"It's what he would've wanted," say devotees.
A story in three parts:
Part I, fixed version: War Crime Wheelers Suggests via Twitter Fed Should Get a Real Job, Basically @'s Chad Wolf
'It's clear these feds would be less violent & stay off the streets if they had real jobs,' says Tear Gas Ted.
Part I, fixed version: War Crime Wheelers Suggests via Twitter Fed Should Get a Real Job, Basically @'s Chad Wolf
'It's clear these feds would be less violent & stay off the streets if they had real jobs,' says Tear Gas Ted.
Part II: 'Bitch, Please': DHS Secretary & Aptly Named Authoritarian Villain Chad Wolf Claps Back
Experts following the feud speculate a diss track from Wolf is imminent but suggest this beef with Ted "the Lesser Evil" Wheeler might just be for show.
Experts following the feud speculate a diss track from Wolf is imminent but suggest this beef with Ted "the Lesser Evil" Wheeler might just be for show.
Part III: DHS and Local Police: Together Forever or Another Publicity Stunt? Wheeler, Wolf Join Forces, Surprising No One. Every One Who Matters Not Mad, Just Disappointed.
That's a lie, we're also mad.
That's a lie, we're also mad.
Fixed version: Mayor Announces He
Wants Federal Officers to Leave Portland, More Interested in Cleaning Graffiti Than Accepting His Role in its Occurrence.l
A sobbing Ted confesses no luck in decoding the cryptic demand from ptotesters to 'defund the police'.
Wants Federal Officers to Leave Portland, More Interested in Cleaning Graffiti Than Accepting His Role in its Occurrence.l
A sobbing Ted confesses no luck in decoding the cryptic demand from ptotesters to 'defund the police'.
