Thread by @lanwingji

As promised! An #MDZS Twitfic to celebrate 100 followers/1000 kudos: WangXian, angst & fluff, modern AU where Lan Zhan and Wei Ying go on the same queer singles cruise and end up accidentally assigned to the same stateroom. And … there’s only one bed

Last year, on a whim, LXC booked a ticket for a singles cruise, and then 6 months ago he started dating JGY. The ticket’s non-refundable, so he gives to LZ because he thinks LZ, a lawyer who works at a civil liberties organization for long hours at low pay, should have more fun

Meanwhile, Wei Ying, a children’s librarian who runs a queer open mic night in his spare time, constantly complains about having no time to date and hating the online dating scene, so for his birthday his sister, JYL, buys him a ticket for the same cruise

The day the cruise leaves, WY is late to the docks because … well, because it’s Wei Ying, he slept in a bit and then realized he’d forgotten to pack a bathing suit, and was this enough condoms? And does the ticket say there’s a formalwear dinner at the end of the week?

And so WY arrives seconds before the ship pulls away, and has to rush up the gangplank with his full-to-bursting suitcase and then when he picks up his keycard he’s all sweaty and frazzled, and very much looking forward to lying down in his stateroom, 5203

But when WY arrives at the stateroom & opens the door, there’s already a man sitting on the bed
A *very* handsome man, with long wet hair, wearing only a bathrobe
“So sorry, there’s been a mistake, I thought this was my room but I guess it’s not!” WY says, & rushes back out

In the hall, Wei Ying checks his ticket: 5203
He checks the plaque on the door: 5203
He checks his keycard: 5203
Probably this is his fault and not the handsome man’s, he thinks, but he can’t figure it out without asking

He knocks and the man says, in a soft, deep voice, “come in”
“Um, I’m really sorry to bother you, but this actually *does* seem to be my room?”
They compare tickets, and compare keycards. It seems they’re both assigned to 5203.
“But there’s only one bed,” WY says, confused.

“There has been a mistake, clearly,” the man says. “I am booked a solo stateroom We will go to the purser’s office and sort it out.”
On the way, they do introductions. Lan Zhan doesn’t seem to be much of a talker. Wei Ying nervously fills the silence —

“Sorry about this, Lan Zhan, I’m sure this isn’t how you wanted your cruise to begin, and I guess you’d just had a shower” — LZ had changed out of the robe, before they went out — “and maybe you were looking forward to just relaxing on the bed for a bit —

— I know I was, but then I was late because I couldn’t decide how many condoms to bring? Oh, that’s an overshare, isn’t it? I’m sorry, Lan Zhan — ”
“What did you decide?”
“What?”
“How many condoms did you decide to bring?”

“Oh. Uh. 300? Not because I think I’ll use them all! I just thought maybe if other people needed some, I could help out.”
LZ, who did not bring any condoms (because, correctly, he expected there would be a large supply in each stateroom), decides that he likes WY quite a bit

“There is no need to apologize, about the room,” LZ says. “It is not your fault anymore than it is mine.”
“Haha, Lan Zhan, thanks, but anytime something screws up, it’s probably on me somehow,” WY says. “That’s what my foster mom says, anyhow.”

At the purser’s office the staff scroll through their computer records, and after a bit a very apologetic woman comes out to say, “The error was on our end. We have somehow double-booked 5203. We will issue you both a complimentary ticket for a future cruise.”

“Oh, no, that’s not necessary!” WY says, “if you could just find me another room it’ll be fine, it can be really small, I can fit into very small spaces” —
“Ah, no,” the woman says. “You misunderstand, Mr. Wei. There are no other rooms available; this cruise is full.”

“What? No, no — ”
Lan Zhan can see that WY is starting to panic. WY apparently wears his emotions on his face. LZ, who does not, turns back to the woman and says, calmly, “Thank you. We will accept the complimentary tickets, and resolve this amongst ourselves.”

“Of course, excellent,” the woman says, with a little smirk that Wei Ying interprets as meaning “these two are going to solve the problem by hooking up” and while that is a solution WY would *very* much support, in his mind there’s no way Lan Zhan meant it that way —

— because Lan Zhan is super hot and elegant and everything WY (still sweaty and scruffy from rushing to the ship) is clearly not, so why would LZ want to throw away all the opportunities this cruise offers for a pity hookup with the guy who was randomly assigned to his room?

They return to the room. Wei Ying sits down on the bed, then stands back up again immediately.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says, tentatively, because he is not good at this sort of thing. “This need not be a problem. We are both single. You are very attractive, and …”

What Lan Zhan means: I like you. You are hot. I would like to share this room with you, if you are interested
What Wei Ying hears: Go and find someone else to shack up with, and leave me alone

Wei Ying laughs. “Of course, Lan Zhan! We’ll probably be sleeping in other people’s rooms the whole time anyway, isn’t that the point of the cruise? We can figure something out for the bathroom and whatever. No problem, right?”

What Wei Ying means: I promise I won’t bother you or stand in the way of you picking up people who are actually good enough for you
What Lan Zhan hears: I am politely telling you that I’m not interested in you
Then the dinner bell rings.

In the dining room, there’s only one chair assigned to stateroom 5203.
“It’s no problem!” Wei Ying says, again, and LZ thinks he might be about to say he can just take a plate to go, so LZ quickly turns to the waiter and requests another place be set & another chair brought out

At dinner their dining companions seem amused by the story about the shared room, like, two hot guys roomed together on a singles cruise? Not exactly a hardship, right?
Lan Zhan silently agrees, as he watches Wei Ying chatter brightly, but WY has made it clear he’s not interested

“Do you want to come join us for a drink, Lan Zhan?” Wei Ying asks when dinner is done.
Some of the others at the table have said they’re going to a particular lounge on the tenth deck that has a reputation for good drinks, good music, and a chill atmosphere

“I do not drink?” Lan Zhan says.
What he means: I do not drink, do you still want me to come?
What Wei Ying hears: I do not want to hang out with you, thank you very much
“Ah, cool, Lan Zhan! I’ll see you around, then.”

Lan Zhan goes for a walk on deck, watches the stars. Thinks about whether taking LXC’s ticket was a mistake, and then vows to make the best of the week, anyway.
He heads back to the stateroom and lies down, and waits for Wei Ying to come back.

But Wei Ying doesn’t come back before Lan Zhan falls asleep, and when Lan Zhan wakes up in the morning, there’s still no sign of him.
So, that’s that, then, Lan Zhan thinks. Wei Ying has clearly found someone else’s room to sleep in — someone else he wants to sleep with.

At breakfast WY shows up looking a little bedraggled, still in the same clothes from last night. One of the other people at the table gives a wolf-whistle at this, and everyone except LZ laughs. There’s still only one chair for 5203; LZ has to ask, again, for another one.

Afterwards, WY comes by the stateroom and gets changed, and then leaves without saying much to LZ. Lan Zhan doesn’t ask him where he’d slept, because it’ll be salt in the wound, to hear about it. He doesn’t want to know.
A day goes by like that: they see each other at meals —

— every time, the same song and dance with the chair — but not otherwise.
LZ goes to the pool. Visits the library. Goes to a viewing lounge on an upper deck and watches the turquoise waves, drinks tea. Reads a book. Spends another night tossing and turning in the big bed.

The second morning, LZ gets up before the dawn — he wasn’t really asleep, anyway — and decides to run some laps around one of the decks.
It’s fine, he thinks as he runs through the pre-dawn chill, it’s just 5 more days, he’ll visit some islands and take in the scenery and eat —

— and there’s a man curled up on a deckchair, shivering. Lan Zhan recognizes those clothes — that sweater, those jeans. He stumbles to a stop and kneels beside the deckchair. When Lan Zhan touches Wei Ying’s hand, it’s cold, like ice.

Lan Zhan understands right away, where WY has been at night and why he wore the same clothes at breakfast. And it’s warm during the day, but not at night, and the deckchair is too small, and LZ is kicking himself for not *asking*, for assuming Wei Ying had found somewhere else.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says, shaking him slightly, but WY just shivers more and curls in on himself. “Come back to the room. You need to warm up.”
He manages to half-wake Wei Ying. “What … I … Lan Zhan, what’re you doing here?”

Lan Zhan helps WY up and half-carries him back to 5203. Deposits him in the bed, tucks him in. WY is still shivering, hard, so LZ carefully strips off WY’s sweater and jeans (respectfully *not looking* at his chest, back, ass) and pulls out a pair of old flannel pyjamas —

— he finds in WY’s suitcase, which otherwise contains 3 boxes of 100 condoms, a very wrinkled tux, and not much else.
But when he tries to put the pyjamas on Wei Ying, WY groans, sleepily mutters “So cold, I’m so cold, hold me please” and pulls at Lan Zhan’s hand

He really is icy, so Lan Zhan gives in, removes his own shirt, & slides under the covers. They cuddle like this for 3 hours, Wei Ying phasing in and out of sleep. Whenever he twitches suddenly awake he seems surprised to find LZ there, but then he burrows closer, into LZ’s arms.

When the bell goes for breakfast WY is finally sleeping deeply, but his skin against LZ’s has gone from chill to fiery. WY is burning up, LZ realizes — he’s gotten sick, because Lan Zhan was too full of his own wounded pride to actually ask Wei Ying where he’d found to sleep …

Lan Zhan rounds up congee, a special request from the kitchen; Tylenol, from his own stores; tea, and water; and carefully coaxes Wei Ying to consume them all. The fever seems to go down, a little, although Wei Ying still seems to barely know where he is.

That’s how LZ ends up spending the 2nd full day of the cruise sitting in bed with WY, wiping WY’s sweating forehead with a damp cloth. Sometimes WY rolls towards him and curls tightly against LZ, and LZ feels terrible (and then horny, & then terrible about that) all over again.

Lan Zhan’s phone rings, around dinner. (He’s called up for room service.)
“Wangji? How’s the cruise?” LXC asks. “Met anyone interesting?”
“I am sorry, brother, I can’t talk,” Lan Zhan whispers. “I am looking after Wei Ying.”
He hangs up.

After that LZ turns his phone to silent and ignores a series of texts.
[LXC]: Who is Wei Ying?
[LXC]: Wangji don’t ignore me
[LXC]: Wangji? I hope this means you have met someone
[LQR]: Answer your brother! He has called me twice already to speculate about your love life

By the time night falls, WY is well enough to sit up and eat soup, although he still seems confused
“I can’t stay in here, Lan Zhan,” he says, as LZ spoon feeds him. “You don’t … this is your bed.”
“It is your bed too,” LZ says. “You cannot sleep in a deckchair, Wei Ying.”

“You will stay in here, and I will stay in here, and it will be fine. The bed is very large.”
LZ brushes WY’s teeth (“my mouth tastes yucky, Lan Zhan”), helps WY lie back down, lies down in his own silk pyjamas, and turns out the light
“Good night, Wei Ying.”

“You’re so nice, Lan Zhan,” WY murmurs, and rolls over and tries to kiss Lan Zhan.
Lan Zhan pulls back, even though he would very badly like to lean in. WY’s lips catch him on the chin, instead.
“You are sick, Wei Ying,” LZ says, gently. “You don’t know what you’re doing.”

In the morning, the fever has broken. Wei Ying pretends he doesn’t remember anything from the night before, because bad enough LZ found him on the deck (he thought he’d picked an out-of-the-way spot) & wasted a whole day looking after him, and then WY tried to kiss him?

“Do you think you can handle breakfast?” LZ asks
“I think so. I’m feeling much better, thank you, Lan Zhan. You really didn’t have to look after me, you know! You don’t owe me anything.”
“It was not a matter of owing you. It was just what I should do.”

After breakfast, when Wei Ying says he’ll go and, uh (what *do* you do on a cruise ship, he can’t remember), Lan Zhan says, “You should not be alone, Wei Ying. You have been sick. Would you like to play shuffleboard with me?”

What Lan Zhan means: I like you, I want to play shuffleboard with you
What Wei Ying hears: you are a burden that I have taken on, because I am a good person
But Wei Ying agrees, this time, because he *does* want to play shuffleboard with Lan Zhan

So they play shuffleboard —
(“Lan Zhan that’s cheating! I saw you push the disc with your foot!”
“I did not. It was the wind”) and then they go swimming, and then back to the viewing lounge, where they talk about their lives (jobs, siblings, dreams),

and then after dinner when Wei Ying says, “do you want to come for a drink? I know you said you don’t drink but they do good mocktails!”
Lan Zhan says, firmly, “Yes. I would like to come.”

At the lounge, which isn’t too loud and has a very talented jazz singer, Lan Zhan decides to order a glass of white wine, because if not on a singles cruise, when? (Also, because he is nervous.) And then, because he is nervous, he drinks it a little too fast.

Wei Ying was chatting with the bartender for thirty seconds — a minute, tops! — but when he looks back Lan Zhan is passed out on the bartop.
“Lan Zhan? You alright?”
“He’s drunk, mate,” the bartender says.
“After one glass? No wonder he doesn’t drink”

With difficulty, WY drags a drunken LZ (taller & broader than him) back to 5203.
“Lan Zhan, you stay here,” WY says, as he props LZ against the wall to open the door to the room, but LZ, suddenly more alert, says “No, *you* stay here”, pats WY on the cheek, and kisses him

“No, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying says, firmly removing Lan Zhan’s hands from his shoulders, “you’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

WY manages to get a petulant-looking LZ into bed. In bed, Lan Zhan rolls towards WY, tucks an arm over him, and WY knows that it’s just the alcohol; but he likes LZ so much, it feels so cozy and *safe*, that he can’t bring himself to push LZ away again.

In the morning, Lan Zhan pretends he doesn’t remember trying to kiss Wei Ying, because it’s bad enough that this whole shared-room thing has probably thrown off WY’s ability to meet interesting singles, only for LZ to then try to hit on him?

So he says, stiffly, “I am sure you have things you wanted to do on this cruise”, but this time it’s WY who says, “Lan Zhan, do you want to go to shore with me today?”
So when the cruise ship docks they go off together and go snorkelling, sailing, shopping.

They eat fresh fish & ripe mango at a little restaurant jammed in at the end of the pier —
“You sure you don’t want some of this hot sauce, Lan Zhan? It’s soooo good”
“It is a little spicy for me, Wei Ying”

— and talk about their lives again.
“I should call my brother,” LZ says, after they finish eating, because their conversation about their siblings has made him feel guilty
“Oh, good idea, Lan Zhan, I need to call my sister and thank her for sending me on this cruise!”

“How is it, didi?” JYL asks, when WY calls. “Met anyone yet?”
“Oh, it’s good? But, uh — funny story …” he explains about LZ, how they were put in the same room accidentally and how WY really, really likes him, but how LZ isn’t interested in him like that

“What makes you say that?” JYL asks. “It sounds like he’s spending a lot of time with you.”
“Oh, well, on the first night he gave me the brush off? He said it would be easy for me to find another room to sleep in, and so …”
“What did he actually say?”

Wei Ying repeats Lan Zhan’s words. JYL, who would not be married to JZX if she couldn’t identify extremely awkward romantic overtures at a hundred paces, sighs.
“That means he likes you, didi.”
“Oh no, he could never, jiejie! You don’t understand how wonderful he is!”

Lan Zhan calls LXC and apologizes for ignoring his texts.
“So, Wangji? Who is Wei Ying?”
LZ explains everything, about the deckchair and WY’s illness and getting drunk and *kissing* WY, and how he hasn’t met anyone else but doesn’t want to meet anyone else but WY

“But he tried to kiss you when he was sick?” LXC asks.
“He did not know what was going on,” LZ says. “And he made it clear that he was not interested, on the first night, when I propositioned him.”
“Tell me *exactly* what you said,” LXC says, because he knows his brother.

Lan Zhan repeats it: “Wei Ying. This need not be a problem. We are both single. You are very attractive, and …”

LXC sighs, calls his boyfriend to the phone, explains the situation. “A-Yao, what would you think if you heard that?”
“That he wanted me to find another room and leave him alone.”
“You see, Wangji? Perhaps you could tell him how you feel, and this time, do it *clearly*?”

Back onboard, they go to dinner (“another chair, please”), and everyone at the table definitely thinks they’re an item, because the two have them been inseparable for days now.
“The same room? And only one bed?” the man beside LZ says, laughing. “That was a stroke of luck, hey?”

Wei Ying starts to deny it, but Lan Zhan (thinking of LXC’s advice) says, calmly, “Yes. I feel very lucky.”
He stands. “I think I will go back to the room, now. Wei Ying?”
And he puts out his hand to Wei Ying, an invitation.

Wei Ying stares at Lan Zhan’s hand, shocked, and then takes it, because he will take whatever Lan Zhan wants to give him.
LZ leads him to the stateroom, and when they go in, LZ decides that it is best to be absolutely, one hundred percent, totally clear:

“Wei Ying. I like you. A lot. I would like for us to share this room, for real.”
“Lan Zhan, I — really? Oh, I — ”
It’s not clear who leans in first, but it doesn’t matter because now they’re kissing, and LZ is pressing WY up against the door, hands tangled in hair, and —

They spend the last 2 days of the cruise in the stateroom, enjoying the good luck of having only one bed. They use [number redacted] of the condoms.
“It was fate,” LZ says, after the 4th time WY says (distraught at the idea), “if they hadn’t screwed up we might never have met!”

On the final night, they go to the formal dinner. WY’s tux doesn’t fit right, because he borrowed it from JC, but LZ helps him steam the wrinkles out.
There’s only one chair, as usual. Lan Zhan starts to ask for another one, but —
“No,” WY says, and sits on LZ’s lap all night.

When they get back home, LZ gives his complimentary singles cruise ticket to NHS, the little brother of LXC’s best friend.
“I will not need this,” LZ says. “I am no longer single.”
WY gives his to Jiang Cheng.
The next year, the cruise produces another love story.

2 years later, when LZ and WY get married, their honeymoon is on a river cruise.
On the first night, they role-play the way they met, but with improvements:
“Oh, I’m sorry, I think this is my room!”
“It is also my room.”
“But there’s only one bed?”
“Perhaps we could share …”

THE END!
(And yes, their stateroom number says “I love you, Zhan” in kadian)