1. Hello and welcome! It’s episode 307 of #MrMrsBetterHalf. Mr. & Mrs Better Half is designed to strengthen marriages & relationships that will lead to marriage, with wisdom from God's Word. 
2. If you missed the last episode, we discussed the topic- “Untie that soul tie”. If you missed it, get it here wakelet.com/wake/HXeI_-nth… #MrMrsBetterHalf.
3. This week’s episode is a situation a single person is facing: “My relationships have a one-month cycle. Something always happens to mess them up. What am I doing wrong?” #MrMrsBetterHalf
4. First, I applaud you for taking ownership of the problem. Many people would immediately assume that diabolical forces were in play or that it is the other party’s fault. It’s mature of you to look inward rather than outward. #MrMrsBetterHalf
5. I’ve realized that some singles think their relationship is going well until the other person went cold or broke up with them. Some others could not sustain their partner’s attention beyond a certain period of time which led to cycles of disappointments. #MrMrsBetterHalf
6. Since this is a cycle, it’s clear that something is wrong. There is a constant in or around your life that you need to identify and alter so that you can have a different result. Nothing changes until you change it. #MrMrsBetterHalf
7. Many times, people go through the same activities day after day, meeting the same kinds of people, doing the same kinds of things but expecting different results. That’s silly. If you want a change in outcome, you have to break your routine. #MrMrsBetterHalf
8. So, what is that wrong element causing this cycle of breakups? Is it something you do? Is it how you portray yourself? Do you need to change your concept of how relationships work? #MrMrsBetterHalf
9. Today we are going to do 3 things. (a) Look inwards (b) Check your understanding of relationships. (c) Look outward. First, let’s look inwards. This is probably the toughest step to take. #MrMrsBetterHalf
10. Sometimes we lie to ourselves. In fact, sometimes it’s the people closest to us that lie to us in order to spare our feelings. When last did someone have a moment of truth with you and confront you about your weaknesses? #MrMrsBetterHalf
11. When last did someone who knows you say, ‘you need to control your temper, be less bossy, be tidier, get in shape, be less whiny, nag less, be kinder, educate yourself more, show more compassion, be less selfish’ etc.? #MrMrsBetterHalf
12. No one is perfect. So, if everyone keeps saying, ‘you’re fine; nothing is wrong with you’, you should be a bit worried because it means nobody around you is willing to tell you the truth even when it’s hard. #MrMrsBetterHalf
13. Did you ask the people who you were dating what went wrong? Sometimes if you’re fortunate- they will tell you what caused them to bolt. As painful as it may be to get negative feedback, you need it to attain success. #MrMrsBetterHalf
14. Please note that improving yourself doesn’t mean you should change who you're. There’s a difference between your personality and your behaviour. You can change behaviour, not personality. #MrMrsBetterHalf
15. There are some weaknesses in your personality that are expressed in your behaviour. Those you can work on - but they don’t change the fact that you are who you are. For instance, as an extrovert, you may talk carelessly. #MrMrsBetterHalf
16. Now changing doesn’t mean you should muzzle yourself; changing means you need to be more careful about what you say and train yourself to be more sensitive or discerning. But do you stop being an extrovert? No! #MrMrsBetterHalf
17. Sometimes, being introverted can mean you can be self-centred and don’t show people care or compassion. You don’t have to be noisy or loud to show care - train yourself to reach out more to show kindness. #MrMrsBetterHalf
18. While improving yourself, don’t pretend to be something you’re not because you think that’s what a husband/wife is looking for. For instance, why would you claim to be outgoing and extroverted when you’re not? #MrMrsBetterHalf
19. Or because someone you like is a fitness buff, you say that you love running marathons when you know you hate to exercise? Don’t you think you will be discovered? You’re lucky the relationship even lasted a month! #MrMrsBetterHalf
20. Now some people are champion pretenders and keep pretending until they get married but when will they finally relax? You have to keep up the pretence for the rest of your life or face the music when your spouse discovers you’re a fraud. #MrMrsBetterHalf
21. Ditch the façade. Remember that even when you’re working on yourself, you do so to become a better version of you, not an imitation of someone else. Be yourself and the people you attract are more likely to hang around. #MrMrsBetterHalf
22. That’s not to say you are always to blame for the relationships that didn’t work; rather, it’s about stepping back to evaluate all possible triggers that are causing the undesirable outcome. Let’s look at something else. #MrMrsBetterHalf
23. (b) Check your understanding of relationships. Why are we so eager to have them? We have needs, we are lonely, we want love, we want family, societal expectations, etc. But these things are primarily about self. Is there more to relationships? #MrMrsBetterHalf
24. Here are some big thoughts to consider. A relationship is not just about you settling down and having a mate and living the life you’ve dreamed of. Every relationship is a piece of a purpose puzzle. There’s a bigger picture. #MrMrsBetterHalf
25. Who you join with can either take you away or closer to achieving God’s purpose. God has a purpose for you and for your would-be spouse that is bigger than your own dreams. #MrMrsBetterHalf
26. How do you think relationships should work? Some people try to move things along too soon. Either a man proposing in a matter of weeks or a lady not = giving time to actually be friends because she’s trying to be a girlfriend. #MrMrsBetterHalf
27. Bottom line - be clear on your purpose, do your research, take your time and realize that lasting relationships take time and effort to build. Don’t try to do too much too soon. #MrMrsBetterHalf
28. (c) Look outwards. Are you in the wrong place attracting the wrong people? Because sometimes your location affects who gravitates towards you. #MrMrsBetterHalf
29. You cannot surround yourself with apple trees but want to build an orange factory. You need to go where the oranges are. What kind of orchard are you in? What kind of orchard do you need to be in to pick the fruits you need for your big picture? #MrMrsBetterHalf
30. Let’s make this more practical. If you dream of stardom and riches, your ideal mate is unlikely to be in a convent. Likewise, if you see yourself being a missionary to the poor, your ideal mate is unlikely to be haughty. #MrMrsBetterHalf
31. So, the big question is, are you fishing in the right pond? Are you moving in the right circles? You may need to jump ship to find other people to be around and associate with. #MrMrsBetterHalf
32. What I would like you to take away today is that you must be willing to make some changes if you want to break a cycle. Same input, same results. Different input, different results. I hope you experience success soon. #MrMrsBetterHalf
33. I hope this has been helpful. I will be back next week with another topic. Till then, thank you for following, participating and RTing. May your marriages and relationships be sweet! #MrMrsBetterHalf
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