A thread on questions...
It is unfortunate that most of us are raised in and by a system that over-indexes itself on answers.
From an early age, we are asked questions and we are expected to give out answers.
From an early age, we are asked questions and we are expected to give out answers.
And we come to believe that the true test of one's intelligence, capability and intent is to come up with an answer.
I call this, "The Curse of Intelligence".
I call this, "The Curse of Intelligence".
When a problem is posed in front of smart people, their instant reaction is to solve the problem.
Worse still, solve it fast!
We take fast problem solving to be a reflection of our intelligence.
Worse still, solve it fast!
We take fast problem solving to be a reflection of our intelligence.
The more I studied truly exceptional people, worked with exceptionally driven individuals, the more I realized:
Brilliant people don't solve problems.
They ask questions.
And the questions then solve the problems.
Brilliant people don't solve problems.
They ask questions.
And the questions then solve the problems.
And then, back in 2012 I guess, I came across the video that changed so much within me
@simonsinek's Golden Circle
ted.com/talks/simon_si…
@simonsinek's Golden Circle
ted.com/talks/simon_si…
"Start with why" was just another way of saying, "Start with a question"
Here are some questions that have helped me tremendously, over the past decade, as an entrepreneur, a leader, a father, a husband, a friend and all other roles I have played.
Here are some questions that have helped me tremendously, over the past decade, as an entrepreneur, a leader, a father, a husband, a friend and all other roles I have played.
"What are we optimizing for?"
What is the one thing that we want to fix/change/improve, by our action.
Just one thing.
Not two. Not three.
One thing.
Give me that one metric and I know what you want.
Give me more than one, and I know you think you know what you want!
What is the one thing that we want to fix/change/improve, by our action.
Just one thing.
Not two. Not three.
One thing.
Give me that one metric and I know what you want.
Give me more than one, and I know you think you know what you want!
"What is this telling me?"
When things don't work out, it is easy to crib, complain, find excuses or find faults.
Consider asking this question instead.
And suddenly, the shift in frame of reference, opens doors of realization.
When things don't work out, it is easy to crib, complain, find excuses or find faults.
Consider asking this question instead.
And suddenly, the shift in frame of reference, opens doors of realization.
"What else could this mean?"
We are so quick to conclude things in our head (curse of intelligence, yet again!)
We are so quick to blame, to assume, to judge that we blind ourselves to the possibility of what else could this mean?
Is there something I could be missing?
We are so quick to conclude things in our head (curse of intelligence, yet again!)
We are so quick to blame, to assume, to judge that we blind ourselves to the possibility of what else could this mean?
Is there something I could be missing?
"What is the most important thing for me in life, right now?"
Here is the thing about humans
If we do not know what is the one thing we want from life right now, the next best thing we want is EVERYTHING.
And that is a disaster.
Here is the thing about humans
If we do not know what is the one thing we want from life right now, the next best thing we want is EVERYTHING.
And that is a disaster.
"Why am I feeling this way?"
It is crazy that we actually try to stop feeling what we feel. We tell ourselves not to be angry, not to be jealous, not to suspect, not to be scared.
But we rarely stop to ask this question.
Baffles me, the lack of genuine curiosity.
It is crazy that we actually try to stop feeling what we feel. We tell ourselves not to be angry, not to be jealous, not to suspect, not to be scared.
But we rarely stop to ask this question.
Baffles me, the lack of genuine curiosity.
"Who would I be without this thought?"
For all the times that we hate ourselves, blame ourselves, doubt ourselves, this question is a powerful way to imagine us without these feelings, without these thoughts.
How would you behave, how would you operate, without these thoughts?
For all the times that we hate ourselves, blame ourselves, doubt ourselves, this question is a powerful way to imagine us without these feelings, without these thoughts.
How would you behave, how would you operate, without these thoughts?
"Do I need to, have to, or want to?"
Going to the depth of the reason behind our actions tells us so much about our own selves.
Do we operate out of obligation (have to), lack of choice (need to) or desire (want to)?
Going to the depth of the reason behind our actions tells us so much about our own selves.
Do we operate out of obligation (have to), lack of choice (need to) or desire (want to)?
"Would I regret not doing this 10 years from now?"
Humans are hardwired for short-term thinking.
And that inhibits our ability to think in decades and compare it with today.
If only we asked this question more often, we would see a lot less regret in old people. Our own selves.
Humans are hardwired for short-term thinking.
And that inhibits our ability to think in decades and compare it with today.
If only we asked this question more often, we would see a lot less regret in old people. Our own selves.
"Is this MY definition of success? Or someone else's?"
The world begins defining your success from Day1. Grades, careers, jobs, marriage, money, looks, accent - everything!
And we rarely stop to ask, are we living our life on our terms, or someone's else's definition of life?
The world begins defining your success from Day1. Grades, careers, jobs, marriage, money, looks, accent - everything!
And we rarely stop to ask, are we living our life on our terms, or someone's else's definition of life?
"What is my privilege?"
Everyday we sit on opportunities that people right outside our house will not get to see for even a second of their life. And they work harder than us, perhaps are even smarter than us.
Not all success is hard work.
Not all failure is laziness.
Everyday we sit on opportunities that people right outside our house will not get to see for even a second of their life. And they work harder than us, perhaps are even smarter than us.
Not all success is hard work.
Not all failure is laziness.
"What's the worst thing that can happen?"
And am I ready to face that worst thing?
Emotionally, socially, financially, psychologically, physically?
If yes, go for it!
If any iota of doubt, don't.
And am I ready to face that worst thing?
Emotionally, socially, financially, psychologically, physically?
If yes, go for it!
If any iota of doubt, don't.
"Why not?"
The goal of life is not to find the most comfortable chair for yourself and sit on it forever.
The goal of life is to sit on as many chairs as you can.
Redefine who you are.
All the time.
Because there is no you.
You are just a concept in your head.
The goal of life is not to find the most comfortable chair for yourself and sit on it forever.
The goal of life is to sit on as many chairs as you can.
Redefine who you are.
All the time.
Because there is no you.
You are just a concept in your head.
"What am I grateful for?"
There is so much to be grateful for. Heck, the fact that we are alive reading this, is enough to be grateful for.
But we take our lives for-granted. We assume we have unlimited time and all that we have is because we worked hard for it.
Both are lies.
There is so much to be grateful for. Heck, the fact that we are alive reading this, is enough to be grateful for.
But we take our lives for-granted. We assume we have unlimited time and all that we have is because we worked hard for it.
Both are lies.
"Is this urgent.? Or is this important?"
We spend our lives attending to the urgent, because it shouts at us the loudest. While the important things patiently waits, unattended, hoping for it's turn to come.
It takes courage to reverse this order.
We spend our lives attending to the urgent, because it shouts at us the loudest. While the important things patiently waits, unattended, hoping for it's turn to come.
It takes courage to reverse this order.
"How come this hasn't happened already?"
As an entrepreneur, we come to believe that our idea will work because WE are working on the idea.
We rarely go out seeking the answer to this question with the humility and curiosity of a child.
As an entrepreneur, we come to believe that our idea will work because WE are working on the idea.
We rarely go out seeking the answer to this question with the humility and curiosity of a child.
"What do they know that I do not know?"
The world has an insane amount of detail. And there are 2 ways to know those details.
Ask.
Or discover them yourselves.
It is so much easier to ask.
The world has an insane amount of detail. And there are 2 ways to know those details.
Ask.
Or discover them yourselves.
It is so much easier to ask.
Everyday, I get emails/messages from people seeking answers. And I sense their impatience and disappointment, when instead of the answers, I offer questions.
Because I believe that those questions will help them just as much as they have helped me. And helped me tremendously.
Because I believe that those questions will help them just as much as they have helped me. And helped me tremendously.
“Courage doesn’t happen when you have all the answers. It happens when you are ready to face the questions you have been avoiding your whole life.”
― Shannon L. Alder
Fin.
― Shannon L. Alder
Fin.
