Mike Birbiglia Profile picture
Aug 1, 2020 4 tweets 2 min read Read on X
Thanks! I do many things. I’m a comedian in my specials on Netflix. I’m a director when I make films. I wrote a book now in stores but curbside because the federal response to the epidemic has been pathetic. And on a daily basis I’m a human being on twitter with human opinions. Image
And Adam, here’s the book link. Try to support #localbusinesses and #localbookstores in this unprecedented moment of complete and total failure of the federal government. This cult of horror will not get any better so let’s support each other! ❤️

indiebound.org/book/978153870…
(3) And one last thing, Adam— I do have a Podcast that’s all about working out new comedy material & we very rarely discuss politics. (I know that triggers you. ❄️) We’ve had guests like John Mulaney & David Sedaris & Hannah Gadsby & Melissa Villaseñor!

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mik…
P.s. I’m also a semi-professional lip sync dad.

https://t.co/1dmMaMDUnT

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More from @birbigs

Jul 19, 2021
Listening to Mitch Hedberg’s strategic grill locations for the first time in a long time. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say this has got to be one of the funniest hours of comedy ever recorded. I might be wrong but it’s unbelievable how well this thing holds up.
“Bigfoot is blurry and that’s extra scary to me” is a beautiful piece of comedy.
“We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this” is a perfect joke.
Read 5 tweets
Nov 25, 2020
THE STOCK MARKET IS SOARING BECAUSE OF MY NEW PODCAST EPISODE!
ITUNES CHARTS FAKE!!! RECORD DOWNLOADS!! GREAT SLOW ROUND ANSWERS!!!! MAKING PEOPLE THINK ABOUT *THEIR OWN LIVES* PLUs INSPIRING (new) COMEDIANS!? NOT COVERING THIS ON MSNBC. WHY?!!! Has anyone seen my MORNING HOTDOG AND bLoods MEDICINE AND DIET COKE AND REMOTE CONTROL?!
NO ONE LISTens to jo ROGAN!! Supplements SHOULX BE FREE WHERE ARE MINE?!!! BULLET COFFEE 2!!! ME FAMILY EATS hamburgers in bathtub! Go to golf courses SOMMTIMES!!!!! Whats about “thank you for your podcast Mike!” BETTRR THAN OTHERS!! AMERICA!!! SAWYER WROTE FOR SNL!!!
Read 4 tweets
Sep 24, 2020
Breitbart keeps publishing my tweets and calling me a “Hollywood celebrity” but I don’t live in Hollywood, I’ve never worked there regularly, and I think the word “celebrity” is a stretch. This makes me really second-guess the world renowned fact checking department at Breitbart.
.@BreitbartNews @pollakbreitbart @ARmastrangelo Hey friends, can you possibly correct this? You’re welcome to refer to me as a “touring comedian” or an “independent filmmaker living in New York” or “this random comedian we hate and want you to hate” if it’s an opinion piece. 😂
One last thing for my friends at Breitbart:

You quoted me as calling the current president an “inspiring dictator” but what I wrote was “aspiring dictator.” Check the tweet. This might be a Russian translation error. But “aspiring” and “inspiring” are completely different words. Image
Read 5 tweets
Aug 19, 2020
Is there a strong case to be made that he WON’T or CAN’T steal the election? Because all signs point to the idea that he plans to. Any links or articles would be appreciated.
(2.) Not many people have sent me a convincing case that he CAN’T cheat. A repeated suggestion is that he’s too incompetent to cheat but the counter to that is that our less incompetent foreign adversaries who want us to be the laughingstock of the world DO want him reelected.
(3.) Of all the responses I got this article is the best to read & share. It’s a long read and DARK. It’s about a lot of apocalyptic scenarios for the election but ultimately what it comes down to is that Biden has to win BIG to avoid cheating & unrest.

https://t.co/ClC39buL2g
Read 4 tweets
May 1, 2020
I know it’s a strange time but we should all do our best to go to bed early, wake up two days later, go back to sleep, eat 5 boxes of cookies and then go back to sleep. Don’t forget to wash the cookies & sleep in the cookie box. Again, I know this might be hard but let’s all try.
I know this is a strange time but I think we all have to get on the same page about a few basics: cookies are the spaceships that carry the chips. The chips are the aliens & if we don’t eat the aliens then who will? Rest up, you have a big day tomorrow. I mean...WE.
There are so many quantities of cookies one can consume. For example 5 or even 10 cookies. There is a rumor going around that there is a quantity of cookie called “1 cookie.” This rumor is false.
Read 6 tweets
Apr 18, 2020
If Jesus came back to earth now I would be like “oh now I get it.”
If Jesus came back to Earth I feel like he would get yelled at by Sean Hannity.
If Jesus came back to earth he’d be like “No, I know about Florida...”
Read 11 tweets

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