Thread by @wanlangjis

Modern AU where married couple wangxian have an argument over god knows what while outside, and they both resolve to be stubborn about it for the rest of the day. They are absolutely, completely going to ignore each other. Then get stuck in their apartment complex's elevator.

Before this fated event takes place, Wei Ying clears his throat once they step onto the elevator. “When this door opens," he says, "I’ll get off first. You’ll wait thirty seconds before following.”

“Mn.”

“That will give me enough time to go inside our apartment and lock myself in our bedroom.” He crosses his arms. “You can take the couch tonight.”

Lan Wangji keeps his gaze trained on the elevator doors as the elevator begins to move. “Mn.”

Wei Ying blows a loose strand of hair from in front of his eyes, then narrows them. “Stop saying mn, it’s pissing me off.”

Lan Wangji’s gaze darts to Wie Ying’s for a split second, and then he directs his attention to the doors again. “Mn.”

Before Wei Ying can say anything back, the elevator lurches. Wei Ying is about to topple onto the ground, but then feels a set of arms circle his waist and keep him steady. His first instinct is to thank Lan Zhan, but then he remembers that they’re fighting, and so he doesn't.

“Thanks,” Wei Ying mumbles instead, stepping out of Lan Zhan’s grasp. And before he can process what's happened, a beep echoes throughout the elevator and a voice rings out.

"Hello, this is maintenance. It seems the elevator has stopped working... We're trying to fix the issue."

Wei Ying really cannot believe his luck. "Uh, hello," he says back, not really sure if they can even hear him. "Is there... an estimated time frame...?"

"It could take up to three hours."

"Th-Three hours?!"

“No, there must be some kind of mistake,” says Wei Ying, dramatically dragging his hands down the doors of the elevator. “You see, I’m mad at my husband right now, so we need to ignore each other, not spend /more/ time with each other, and—”

The intercom disconnects.

Wei Ying pinches his temple. "Okay... Okay. This sucks. Lan Zhan. I'm going to take this side of the elevator. You take that side. This doesn't change the fact that I'm mad at you."

Lan Zhan nods, and takes his place on the right side of the elevator. Wei Ying sits on the left.

They sit in silence for half an hour.

Wei Ying keeps trying to subtly sneak glances at his husband. Lan Zhan has had his eyes closed this entire time.

Then a cool draft of air makes Wei Ying shiver, and he lets out a small yelp at the sudden coldness. Lan Zhan opens his eyes.

"Are you cold?"

"No," Wei Ying says, but knows Lan Zhan can tell he's lying. "Okay, so what if I am?"

Lan Zhan takes off his jacket and moves to drape it over Wei Ying, but Wei Ying holds up a hand to stop him. "Lan Zhan! We're fighting!"

Lan Zhan frowns. "I don't understand what that has to do with me lending you my jacket."

Wei Ying sighs as if Lan Zhan is missing some fundamental point. "Lan Zhan," he says slowly, "you're not supposed to be nice to me when we're fighting."

Lan Zhan looks very unimpressed.

"Wei Ying," he says, stepping forward again and placing his jacket over him. "Even if we are fighting, I am still your husband."

Wei Ying can't argue when he feels warmth surround him, so instead he says, "Okay, fine. But I'm still mad at you."

"Understood."

Lan Zhan goes back to his side of the elevator. It's silent for another thirty minutes.

Then Wei Ying's stomach grumbles.

"Are you hungry?"

"No," Wei Ying bites out, then internally screams when his traitorous stomach growls again.

Lan Zhan ignores him, and reaches into his pocket to take out some candies. He extends his arm and holds them out for Wei Ying to take.

Wei Ying wants to bang his head into the elevator wall. He doesn't understand why Lan Zhan is making this whole "I'm mad at you" thing so hard.

"Still mad at you," Wei Ying mumbles, popping a candy into his mouth. Lan Zhan hums in understanding, then goes back to closing his eyes.

Another thirty minutes passes.

Wei Ying is getting very tired. Usually, being stuck in an elevator for three hours would be no problem, because he has enough stories to tell Lan Zhan that could last for three hundred. But they're not talking, and so Wei Ying feels a heaviness on his eyelids.

Wei Ying's head starts bobbing from trying to stay awake and he knocks his head on the elevator wall at one point. Lan Zhan opens his eyes, but before he can say anything, Wei Ying blurts, "I'm going to sleep. Wake me up when we get rescued."

And Wei Ying tries to sleep, but the elevator wall is cold. And hard. And really, really uncomfortable. And not Lan Zhan's arms. So it takes him a while, but eventually his exhaustion wins over his need for comfort and he starts drifting off.

But then... he feels himself being shifted? But he's way too tired to open his eyes. It's probably a dream, anyway, if the sudden warmth around his body, the sudden softness he feels under his head, the fingers carding through his hair, is anything to go by.

And yeah, it's definitely a dream, because this whole day has been horrible, but this? This is nice. And he falls completely asleep to the distant sound of humming.

Thirty minutes passes.

Wei Ying begins to stir awake, and then the warmth he felt disappears. He groggily opens his eyes, blinks the world around him into focus, and sees Lan Zhan sitting at the other end of the elevator, eyes closed.

'Ah,' Wei Ying thinks. 'So it was a dream.'

Wei Ying keeps his stare fixed on Lan Zhan, uncaring of whether the other catches him in the act. He gets overcome with an urge to talk to him. Or touch him. Or for Lan Zhan to even look at him.

He misses him.

Wei Ying is hungry. Tired. Cold. Lan Zhan-less. Not a good combo.

Wei Ying lets a deep sigh escape him, which causes Lan Zhan to open his eyes.

His golden eyes blink in confusion. "Wei Ying?"

Wei Ying says nothing, a frown twitching at his lips as he keeps his gaze fixed on his husband.

Irritation and some other annoying, definitely-not-welcome emotion claws at Wei Ying’s heart as he stares at his husband. At his perfectly still, perfectly calm husband who looks like none of this is even a bother.

“Well I’m glad this is so easy for you, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Zhan blinks again, trying to process what Wei Ying has just said, and then his brows knit together. “What is easy?”

“You know. This,” Wei Ying says, gesturing to the air around them. “Ignoring me.”

A frown tugs at Lan Zhan’s lips, a lot more noticeable than he usually allows. “Wei Ying—”

Wei Ying, for some odd reason, feels his eyes begin to burn. “You’re just sitting there without a care in the world and I’m over here actually missing you, like an idiot.”

Lan Zhan’s expression morphs into one of confusion, then disbelief, then sadness. “You think this is easy for me?”

Wei Ying turns his head and swallows thickly. “Well, you’ve done nothing to suggest otherwise.”

Wei Ying doesn't get a reply. In fact, the elevator becomes painfully silent, and so he peeks open an eye to look at Lan Zhan.

And oh shit.

Lan Zhan looks mad.

"Why would it be easy—" Lan Zhan begins, a subtle shake to his words, "—for me to see you so upset?"

Wei Ying's breath catches in his throat.

"Why would it be easy—" Lan Zhan continues, "—to sit so close to my husband and not be able to hold him or hear him laugh?"

"I do not like when we fight, Wei Ying," Lan Zhan says, with a firmness that demands Wei Ying listen to what he's saying, but a gentleness that pleads for Wei Ying to understand the meaning behind his words. "Seeing you without your smile will never be easy for me."

Wei Ying stares at Lan Zhan. At the light of his life. At his husband. And he's still hungry, and cold, and tired, but he's also super super in love, and so he holds out arms out and yells, "Lan Zhan!" so loud it echoes off the walls.

Lan Zhan shifts over to Wei Ying, but kind of hobbles on his feet as he does because the elevator floor is a little dirty and Lan Zhan's pants are brand new. When he's close enough, Wei Ying pulls him into his arms.

Lan Zhan lets out a small grunt when he hits Wei Ying's chest.

"Lan Zhan, oh, Lan Zhan," Wei Ying breathes, hugging Lan Zhan at quite possibly the most awkward angle, but he truly does not care in that moment. "How can you say these kinds of things to me? My poor heart..." And then, "I'm sorry."

"You do not need to apologize," Lan Zhan says, but since Wei Ying is holding him in a crushing grip against his chest, it comes out more like, "Yommmf dnmmh nnfjmmmf mfm."

Wei Ying releases his grip on Lan Zhan just enough for him to raise his head. He smiles sheepishly. "Sorry, looks like I took your breath away for a second there."

"You always do," Lan Zhan says immediately, confidently.

Wei Ying blinks like an owl at Lan Zhan's statement, but then he laughs, and it bounces off the walls.

And then it's abruptly cut off by Lan Zhan pressing their lips together.

Before Wei Ying can get too lost in the feeling of it, which honestly would not take much time, Lan Zhan breaks the kiss.

"I love Wei Ying's smile," Lan Zhan mumbles against his lips. "In the future, I will work hard to keep it there."

Many emotions are flying through Wei Ying right now. Happiness, love, adoration, contentment.

Unfortunately for Lan Zhan, a mystery fifth emotion glimmers across Wei Ying's eyes instead.

A sly smile widens across Wei Ying's face as his eyes twinkle mischievously. “Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying says, voice dropping an octave. “After people fight, it's only natural that they apologize, you know?" He grins. "How are we going to apologize to each other?”

Lan Zhan swallows thickly. “Like we've said before, there is no need—”

“Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying cuts him off. “I’ve heard that make-up sex is, like, the best.”

“Wei Ying—”

Wei Ying’s hand creeps down Lan Zhan's chest, and he dances his fingers across Lan Zhan's waist. He leans closer and breathes into his ear, “I think we should have hot, passionate, steamy—”

A beep.

“Please be advised that there are cameras in the elevator.”

Wei Ying's brow twitches in irritation, because he is still hungry, cold, and tired, and before Lan Zhan can stop him, he yells, "Well get us out of this elevator so I can fuck my husband!"

The intercom disconnects.

Wei Ying clicks his tongue, then turns back to Lan Zhan. His eyes widen when he gets a good look at him. "...Lan Zhan?"

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan rasps, breath heavier than normal. "We need to get out of here."

Wei Ying slowly trails his gaze down to the front of Lan Zhan's pants. His face reddens. "Oh."

And then because he's Wei Ying, he pouts innocently and says, "My poor Lan Zhan. Let me hide that for you until we get rescued," and plops himself down on Lan Zhan's lap.

Wei Ying can sense the exact moment Lan Zhan's soul ascends to the heavens.

Fortunately for Lan Zhan, the elevator lurches back to life a few minutes after that.

Unfortunately for Lan Zhan, the lurch causes Wei Ying to bounce on his lap, and Wei Ying smirks in satisfaction at the pained groan that claws out of his throat.

When the elevator door finally opens, a maintenance team awaits them on the other side.

"Good evening, gentleman," Wei Ying says. He slowly stands up, keeping his back pressed against Lan Zhan's front. "We appreciate all of your hard work."

The maintenance team says nothing, brows raised.

Wei Ying clears his throat. "Well. We'll be going now," he declares.

Lan Zhan nods at them in gratitude, and then he and Wei Ying begin penguin wobbling to their apartment.

A noise complaint is filed that night.

THE END! (this was Lan Zhan's face the entire time)

me as a maintenance man watching wangxian get h*rny through the elevator cameras