Recently I questioned if I'M white passing. Apparently not being othered for months did a number on me!
Seriously though. I struggled with this for WEEKS.
It took seeing old pictures of myself to shake that off. Not felt racial cognitive dissonance like that since I was a kid.
Seriously though. I struggled with this for WEEKS.
It took seeing old pictures of myself to shake that off. Not felt racial cognitive dissonance like that since I was a kid.
For reference, here is me from April last year. I'm about this colour now (but haven't taken presentable selfies in forever because why would I)
But somehow I don't think white people who spray on this exact level of tan get called "exotic" or asked where they're "really from".
But somehow I don't think white people who spray on this exact level of tan get called "exotic" or asked where they're "really from".
Despite knowing that, it took THIS photo for me to shake off the racial impostor syndrome.
From two Augusts ago, this is how I would look now if I hadn't stayed inside and covered in sunscreen in Scotland for 4 months.
(Photo taken because I knew SF people would hate it)
From two Augusts ago, this is how I would look now if I hadn't stayed inside and covered in sunscreen in Scotland for 4 months.
(Photo taken because I knew SF people would hate it)
As a teenager, translucent, redhead beauties like Kate Winslet, Gillian Anderson, and Nicole Kidman were my physical ideal.
I imagine growing up with celebrities adapting their bodies to adopt physical features I have naturally would have been a different kind of damaging.
I imagine growing up with celebrities adapting their bodies to adopt physical features I have naturally would have been a different kind of damaging.
Honestly, I'm a bit unnerved that my self-image could be so forcibly distorted EVEN NOW.
I'm in my mid-30s! I'm constantly, actively learning and thinking analytically about race! I went through huge racial identity crises in my teens and twenties!
The power of white supremacy.
I'm in my mid-30s! I'm constantly, actively learning and thinking analytically about race! I went through huge racial identity crises in my teens and twenties!
The power of white supremacy.
I am both related to and friends with lots of people with my exact racial parentage. Some lighter, some darker, some more identifiably Indian, some white-passing.
We think VERY differently about our racial identities. It's not usually a fun conversation for me. So I talk here.
We think VERY differently about our racial identities. It's not usually a fun conversation for me. So I talk here.
Mixed race culture is having a lifelong identity crisis that's completely unique to your specific appearance, upbringing, community, and circumstances
(Important note: POC often use "white-passing" in conversations about colourism and privilege. Those are essential conversations for POC to have and white people to listen to. White people calling POC white-passing is silencing and erasure. Distinguish between the two.)
