Thread by @tyromper

Marriage🧵

My marriage was a disaster & on brink of divorce couple years ago

these things saved us & set R marriage on🔥

Every1’s situation is unique
but hopefully u can takeaway something from these

Many I learned & applied from people I respect from here on Twitter🙏

1) We quit “watching a show” every nite N bed

Sitting N silence watching a show every night is a crappy excuse 2 connect

We gave up cable Netflix HBO GO

If we watch something together now we are learning something 2gether
We are interacting & communicating

❌📺 N bedroom

2) I took extreme ownership

I read @jockowillink📚& applied the lessons 2 my marriage

She’s not doing something I like then it’s on me to communicate better

Every aspect of R relationship is on me
0 excuses ever

All comes down 2 being a BOY vs being a MAN & taking ownership

3) Must give credit 2 @FitFounder on this 1:

✅Create a family vision board
✅openly talk about shared goals & dreams
✅share victories & setbacks everyday & make this a normal part of conversation
✅take📝& measure success

Win 2gether & grow closer!

4)We saw a great counselor & got professional help & tips from an expert

It was critical having a mediator that helped us break thru & get out of R own way

We got in2 ruts & what we now refer 2 as the crazy cycle

she helped us identify those & defeat them b4 they spiraled.

5) modeling the behaviors I desire

@limitlessleila said
“ur better off not even preaching behaviors if u won’t live them out”

This challenged me so much

I can’t ask my wife 2 do things I’m not doing
✅putting her 1st 100% of the time
✅never complaining
✅intentional listening

6) Have ur own space & activities apart

We give each other time away 2 refill & recharge

A guys nite out or girls weekend is always welcomed & accepted w/no guilt

We see friends & take at least a trip a year apart

Absence makes the❤️grow fonder & we always come back recharged

7)keep family & friends out of disagreements

This was a big problem

We would disagree & she would call her mom & get validated
while simultaneously I called mine & got the same(Don’t do this men!)

If we have problems(obv still do)we communicate with each other & keep it N 🏡

8)Men only: listen & validate don’t fix!

R instincts when she’s sharing a struggle is
1) fix
2) get defensive

she’s not wanting us 2 fix
this is her way of connecting & sharing life

listen & validate & let her know u care instead of quickly responding 2 do this 2 fix it!

9)B adventurous & playful

I’ll share a tame 1 here use ur imagination 4 others:)

we take R rings off on nites out & after I drop her at the🚪I’ll meet her at the bar and pick her up

she enjoys being pursued like when we were dating
Its led 2 many different fun scenarios
👉👌🔥

10)mandatory date ❤️ Nights w/ no kids

Have fun together
laugh go out & be silly

at home it can get so monotonous..
did u pack lunches
get laundry done
I took the trash out etc etc

once a month at least we hire sitters and go out 4 a fun adult only date night ❤️❤️

11)Quit porn 100%

I always justified it as
Stress reliever
Not a big deal

BUT

I knew deep down it was harmful 2 my marriage

Porn is cheap dopamine & the equivalent of eating unhealthy fast food

Be that honorable Man U want 2 b even when no1 is around & watch ur ❤️life soar🔥

12) Connect w/ fun activities that fill us up

Take long🚶2gether
read & study interesting topics 2gether
🧘‍♂️ & 🏊‍♂️
currently doing a plank challenge 2gether!

read 2 our daughter 2gether nearly every night & watch the sunset as a family

Choose 2 Intentionally connect everyday!

If u have others drop them in the comments
👇👇👇👇

Having a connected Marriage & spouse on ur team that supports u is the biggest life hack!

Mathew 19:6
They R no longer 2, but 1 flesh
What God has joined together, let no1 separate

Thx 4 reading 🙏