"Every man lives two lives & the second starts when he realizes he has just one."

I'll never forget this picture as long as I live.

The night before I was SOBBING tears of shame & then rage.

I was failing myself & my family.

Here's a story to inspire someone feeling stuck. I had wasted the entire Sunday watching football on the couch eating pizza & chips.

My wife invited me outside to play with her & my daughter a few times but I was DETERMINED TO BE MISERABLE & play the VICTIM card.

"I worked 6 days this week at a job I don't even like.....

I deserve ONE to lay around....."

I snapped at her wanting to make EVERYONE AROUND ME MISERABLE TOO.

Somedays as a Christ follower I can be so in tune with God.

Other days, I can feel like God is so distant.

For years it felt like this.

Here’s 5 THINGS I’ve implemented to make my walk with Jesus stay more CONSISTENT & IN HARMONY!

*Many habits apply to nonbelievers too. First off I believe faith to be extremely personal.

I share mine openly as it’s the CORNERSTONE of my life.

Having said that, I LOVE PEOPLE.

I have friends that are atheists & all different faiths.

I’ll meet you wherever you are.

If you are a Jesus person this is for you.

If you ever feel RESTLESS or PURPOSELESS read this.

I had a MID LIFE CRISIS.

I didn't go after a younger woman or want a sports car, but it HIT ME the things I was CHASING were not making me happy.

TWO things changed it all for me & can for you too! On paper I was great.

•Good stable job.
•Pretty wife & and angel daughter.
•Financial stability & a nice home.

The BLUEPRINT I had for my life had come to fruition so why was I never at peace?

I felt restless & thought IS THIS IT?

I felt like a PASSENGER IN MY OWN LIFE.

At 29 I sat on the rooftop of my condo overlooking Chicago thinking if I wasn’t such a pansy I would just jump off & end it.

I was recently cheated on & divorced.

I was drinking 6 days a week & popping pills like they were skittles.

I was around drinking buddies often, but ALWAYS FELT ALONE.

I couldn’t get off the couch for days during some periods.

I felt my best days were behind me & couldn’t see a way out.

It was the lowest depression I’ve ever experienced.

And then……… A couple miracles happened in the form of TWO PEOPLE God sent into my life.

One night around midnight at a bar I was introduced to a guy named Kolby.

He was there with a couple mutual friends & we were taking sports.

This guys energy lit up the room.
He was chiseled like a Greek god.

As we spoke, I asked him how he was in such good shape?

What was the cheat code bro?!

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My dad warned my sister there was a high tide & the ocean would be really dangerous before they left.

One day a few years ago in North Carolina a HORROR STORY happened & within the blink of an eye my families life changed forever. My sister, brother-n-law & their two sons were enjoying a great day on the beach.

My sister recalls turning around & hearing a scream.

Her son was rushing farther into the ocean engulfed in the waves.

He was 8 years old & a strong swimmer, but with the waves he had no chance.

The other morning at the gym I clearly had my:
•keys
•phone
•gym card

At a squat rack.

I went to refill my water & when I came back a dude was on MY SQUAT RACK.

You know what I did next…….. Gave him a fist bump & said crush it today bro.

I took the next rack 2 steps over while smiling, dancing & thanking God for a healthy body & sound mind!

I used to let things like this upset me.

Traffic, a negative comment online, or a minor inconvenience could RUIN my day.

I don’t understand a lot of modern single Christian men.

They SAY they want a great Godly wife, but their actions aren’t aligning with ATTRACTING one.

Here’s what single Christian men should do to ATTRACT a great Godly wife: 1) Build yourself daily.

•Body
-Lift -Run -Walk -Stay active & fit

•Mind
-Read -Journal -Meditate -Study

•Soul
-Pray -Bible study - Devotions -Fast

Nothing is MORE attractive than a human FLOURISHING, ON FIRE & GROWING.

Let her see you killing life & she can add to it & you add value to hers.

Today I turn 41.

At 34 I was the guy on the left.

Dad bod.
Always tired, a victim, & low energy.

At 41 I'm in the best shape of my life physically, mentally & spiritually.

It's not GENETICS.
It's LIFESTYLE CHOICES.

Here's the cheat codes: 1) Limit alcohol.

Look I get it booze can be fun.

I don't NOT DRINK EVER.

I DO acknowledge it's a poison tho.
It's awful for my body so I set RULES.

•Put a water between each drink.
•Pre set a limit on number of drinks.
•6-10 times a year I'll have 3-5 drinks.

Works for me, find what works for you!

-18: college/partying lost God.

-20: poker, dropped out of college. Focused only on money/stuff.

-24: married.

-27: internet poker banned, went from 250k/year to zero overnight.

-27: divorced, depressed alcohol & pills.

-28 going broke, spent 200k partying. Felt dead inside. -28: Low point. Rock bottom.

Blaming everyone but myself.

Wish I WAS NOT ALIVE most days.

Break down crying in a Doctors office.

She tells me she’s overcome divorce.

Shows me a picture of her children & husband now.

Better days are ahead she reassures me.

Hope is restored.

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Master these EIGHT SIMPLE HABITS & you’ll be unrecognizable in six months.

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You are capable of creating any life you desire & are willing to work for.

Bookmark this.

Get ready to rocket into 2025!! 1) Plan your next day the night before.

I take 2/3 minute each night & OUTLINE my next day.

You are the CEO of your life & no successful person or company wakes up without a plan.

•Lay out your clothes.
•Schedule top priorities.
•Schedule your workout.

Plan to win!

5 years ago I started my second corporate job for a great local bank.

I had previously been FIRED from my last corporate job.

My entire FOCUS was to FIRE this company, be my own boss, create multiple revenue streams, & become 100% sovereign over my time.

Here's how it went: I'll never forget my then 4 year old daughter SOBBING one night, so you'll be home after dinner again daddy?

I miss you.

My heart shattered into a million pieces.

I wasn't going to accept NORMAL anymore.

Normal:
-Work 5 days for 2 off.
-work 50 weeks for 2 off.
-work 40 years for 12-15 off.

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At 34 I looked like this:
At 41 I look like this:

Life hasn't gotten LESS BUSY.

In 7 years my wife & I:

•Went from 1 child to 3.
•Fostered 7 children reuniting 5.
•Moved cross country away from family.

Here's some CHEAT CODES for busy dads the gurus won't tell you. 1) Perfection is the enemy of progress.

As a busy parent MOST of your workouts won't be ideal.

We have time constraints.
We are usually tired.

JUST KEEP SHOWING UP.

I joke I'm in shape because I have 100 "bad" workouts a year.

Don't put up zeroes.
Just get up & do your best!

Husbands will often complain about a lack of SEX & INTIMACY in their marriage.

SHE NEVER INITIATES LIKE SHE USED TO.

If that’s you DO THIS & I guarantee she will be initiating before you know it!

*HUSBANDS OR ONE DAY HUSBANDS BOOKMARK THE CHEAT CODES! 1) Take ownership.

Your wife isn’t a mind reader.

The truth is she probably doesn’t think about sex as much as you.

(If she did you two would accomplish NOTHING except being naked all day!)

It’s YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to communicate your needs to her.

BUT EVEN MORE CRITICAL……

My dad's a genius.

•Read a book a week for 30 years.
•Socially strong & networks well.
•Can fix anything.
•Great leader.

He NEVER moved up in his company.

I asked him WHY & his answer brought me to tears.

Here’s THE BEST LESSON my dad taught me that you need to hear. He told me at 25 he gave up drinking for good.

His dad was a war hero but had a drinking problem & he was on the same path until he met Jesus at 24 & I was born.

He didn’t go to college.

He married my mom at 18 to escape childhood & at 18.5 they were pregnant with my sister.

In a few weeks I'll be 41.

If I were 21, here are 21 short lessons I would tell myself:

1) Life isn't FAIR, but you can always adapt.

Embrace resilience & grow through adversity. The obstacle is the way.

2) Relationships require effort.

Nurture & value the ones that matter. 3) Stay CURIOUS always.

Curiosity fuels creativity & personal growth. Keep seeking & learning!
Read, write, question, explore, & learn. Nothing is more attractive.

4) Your reputation matters.

GUARD IT with integrity & honesty.
One foolish moment can cost you decades of trust.

Outside of your relationship with God,

Your MARRIAGE is the single most important thing in your life.

Here's SIX BIG things you MUST do to strengthen it & ensure you & your wife:

•GROW TOGETHER.
•CONQUER LIFE TOGETHER.
•HAVE FUN NAKED TOGETHER.

More often!

*BOOKMARK THIS! 1) Thank your spouse daily.

Thank them for working hard, being a good parent, etc.

Showing gratitude goes a long way.

Men should LEAD with this!

I wake up before my wife everyday to workout.

She wakes up everyday & the first thing she sees is an uplifting message from me.

I recently read an amazing true story.

Three young men hopped on a bus in the 1930's & saw a lone black man sitting in the back alone.

The youngsters were looking for trouble.

They insulted this man.
He did not respond.

The insults got much more offensive.
And yet, he did not respond.

Eventually, this stranger stood up & he was much bigger than the three young men anticipated & they got nervous. He calmly walked over to them & handed them a business card.

He said nothing & walked off the bus.

The card read,

JOE LOUIS,
BOXER.

From 1937 - 1949 he was the heavyweight boxing champion of the world & is ranked #1 all time!
(A guy named Muhammad Ali is second).

The biggest LIGHTBULB for me was when I realized my wife wasn’t sharing a problem for me to always FIX IT.

Men & women often communicate very differently.

Give me THREE MINUTES & I’ll help you & your mate communicate MORE EFFECTIVELY.

*MEN, you’ll want to bookmark this!!! I would FIX problems at work all day & then when I came home my wife may say,

“The kids were a bit hard today & didn’t nap.”

My brain would interpret this as another problem to FIX.

•Take them to that park I showed you & have them race & watch that YouTube video I sent on sleep."

I would say back thinking what a HERO I am.

Solved it!

My wife interpreted this as,

He doesn’t think I’m a good mom.....