Let's talk about an (I think) #adhd/#bp2/#neurodiversesquad thing: "The Transition Chasm", as I like to call it.
It's when you *want* to do something, but the transition from what you are currently doing is effectively stopping you from doing the new thing.
It's when you *want* to do something, but the transition from what you are currently doing is effectively stopping you from doing the new thing.
It doesn't really matter what kind of activities both are. They can be something you like, or don't like. Things you like are harder to transition away from, things you don't like are harder to transition to.
And temporally wise, it doesn't really matter if it's now or somewhere in the future. It could be something you have to do now, or something that you have planned for in the past.
It's a bit similar to the Wall Of Awful (@HowtoADHD has a good video on it, if you don't know what it is: ), but not exactly.
Let's give some examples.
Let's give some examples.
I have a hard time planning a trip, for example. It's not that I don't want to go, on the contrary: I love trips. But transitioning into planning mode is… hard. It feels like too much effort, too overwhelming. Enough to keep me in my current activity.
House renovation or DIY projects: same issue. When I finally get to finishing (or have contractors finish) them, it looks and feels great. But starting, planning, handling… everything feels too much work to get into it. Again: being overwhelmed is a factor here.
But it also applies to transitioning from work to going home.
There's always that "last more thing" which really isn't a last more thing and you can easily do it tomorrow, but it's an expression of not being able to transition to another activity.
There's always that "last more thing" which really isn't a last more thing and you can easily do it tomorrow, but it's an expression of not being able to transition to another activity.
Or transitioning from having finished dinner to cleaning up and doing the dishes. It's a lot "easier" to just stay at the table dicking around on my phone than to clean up and move on.
"Let's go out for a drink!"
"Sure, I love to!"
But then, I'd have to prepare and we'd have to find a place to go to and it all feels like too much hassle. As in: I have a hard time stopping what I'm doing (even if it's nothing substantial), and moving on to something else.
"Sure, I love to!"
But then, I'd have to prepare and we'd have to find a place to go to and it all feels like too much hassle. As in: I have a hard time stopping what I'm doing (even if it's nothing substantial), and moving on to something else.
It *also* does happen when I already planned something in the past, and the event/thing comes up: I will probably be late because I have a hard time transitioning to leaving and getting there. Even if it's something I look forward to.
Need to start cooking dinner?
I'll probably start by the time dinner should have been served because The Chasm. I generally like cooking, but I need a deadline to be able to jump over the chasm.
I'll probably start by the time dinner should have been served because The Chasm. I generally like cooking, but I need a deadline to be able to jump over the chasm.
Overall, there's only a small correlation between activities and the level of resistance to transitioning.
Like I said, "boring"/have-to activities are easier to navigate away from, but never "easy" easy. And navigating to them can be even more challenging in a lot of cases.
Like I said, "boring"/have-to activities are easier to navigate away from, but never "easy" easy. And navigating to them can be even more challenging in a lot of cases.
Likewise, transitioning to a fun activity might be a bit easier, but not necessarily. And navigating from one fun activity to another fun one is equally hard as navigating to a have-to one.
It ends up appearing that I'm lazy and only am interesting in one thing. Which is not the case: I just have a really hard time going to another thing.
It's usually also the reason I'm late to appointments. Just yesterday I had finished breakfast had to leave, and I was literally doing nothing, but kept trying to find things to do on my phone in order *not to leave*. In the end I had to rush to be… on time (this time!).
It is or can be incredibily frustrating because it's not that you don't want to… it's because your brain doesn't allow you to. Which is really hard to understand for people that don't experience this.
What kind of works for fun activities is having an external driver helping you transition. Make plans with someone and the have that someone be your transition "starter". Like them showing up at your doorstep to go.
It requires a bit of cooperation of course, and it may appear that they might feel like "I always have to come up with activities" but it's really not. There's plenty of things to do, but all of them always appear to exhausting because of the Transition Chasm.
Another expression: decision paralysis.
Don't ask me "What do you want to do?". There's literally a ton of stuff I'd like to do, but all of them are on the other side of The Chasm.
Don't ask me "What do you want to do?". There's literally a ton of stuff I'd like to do, but all of them are on the other side of The Chasm.
And so even if I'd love to go out for a drink, transitioning to going is near impossible just by myself; having someone that says "here's your jacket, let's go" is extremely helpful.
A key part is identifying if The Chasm is at play. Sometimes you *don't feel* like doing something, and that's ok. But you need to communicate that properly, especially if people become to expect you to need a push.
I'm sure this not only affects me, but it would be interesting to hear about other experiences, expressions or workarounds for The Transition Chasm.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk. And please wear a mask.
And yes, this happens to anyone. But it's a fucking multiple times a day thing for me.
Are timers a solution?
