It feels right for some Gerard Butler magic as we continue on our monthlong celebration of Scotland's master thespian.
I'm working without a net here, as I delve into a thriller of his I have never seen - SHATTERED.
The DVD-level poster speaks volumes.
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie Image
A couple in a wonderful marriage becomes threatened by an outsider - with nefarious intentions! (all drama is assumed, at this stage.)
This 2007 thriller was once called ''Butterfly On A Wheel''. They dropped that clunker for a wholly generic title.
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
All right, let's dig in...
During the production cards we hear lightning - a promise of thrills and intrigue to come. These films, like a campaigning candidate, usually fail to deliver on those promises.
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
Already we have an issue-
It appears Gerard is in the happy marriage and is NOT the stalking menace. That guy will be...Pierce Brosnan?! That's a screw up. I don't know who the casting director is, but I hope they are a Wal-Mart manager today.
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
This was shot back when George Clooney was infecting Hollywood with his Caesar haircut. Gerry looks like the base player from a 60's British wave quartet. He needs to be scraggly, or government-issue; this in-between is an unfortunate call.
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie Image
Gerry plays Neil Randal, a can't-miss executive in a perfect marriage to Maria Bello, in a beautiful home. Everything is idyllic. This just HAS to turn to soup, soon enough.
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
Wow.
They are about half an hour into their trip when Brosnan just pops up in their back seat with a gun, threatening the couple. Come, the hell, on...
I know those Range Rovers have spacious interiors, but they NEVER notice him prior?!
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie Image
We get to the issue of Pierce being a stowaway. He demands out of Neil $142,367...exactly. This seems a significant detail, but Brosnan controls the nanny with their daughter, so a withdrawal is made, just like normal.
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
Well, here are some points for originality. After he is handed the briefcase of cash Brosnan sets a wrap of 50s on fire, drops it inside, then opens the door of the moving SUV to toss it off of a bridge.
Naturally the next stop is a 5-star restaurant.
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
Pierce tells them he owns them for 24 hours. He sends them out to scrounge for $300 cash. Smartly, instead of swimming in the river for their savings they hit a pawn shop. Next Abbey is sent off to deliver an envelope. This is...unthrilling stuff
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
After ramming the Rover into a parking lot wall-for no reason-Brosnan shows proof that Neil had hacked into the advertising competition, and Abbey was delivering evidence to them.
I guess we are supposed to be shocked Neil is not perfect. We are not.
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
Our idyllic couple has a domestic dispute. Abbey mentions ''Denver'' in their argument, uncovering more secrets perhaps.
Now Neil gets hostile with Pierce. A pissed off Gerard is ALWAYS preferred, and Brosnan is less than a ''Fallen''-type terrorist.
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
Plothole error time.
After getting Brosnan's phone Neil figures out he called a hotel. Instead of following the next scavenger hunt command the couple goes to that hotel.
They took a cab...after having been stripped of all their cash. Whoops!

#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
They get into the room but - SHOCKER - only Pierce Brosnan is there - He's a mastermind! Well, you know - he was back in 2007, when that was not a racist term.

#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
To extend his terrorism on the couple Pierce forces Abbey to wear a different dress, so she has to strip down to her Agent Provocateur skivvies. I'll allow it - it is some distraction in this ridiculousness.
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
Gerard is sent to a tower, Pierce calls to say he's is leaving with Abbey. Broken, he goes to the cops, but she was there and warned of his condition as she was leaving him.
Slow music plays as he walks in the rain. The Movie is shouting, ''HE'S SAD!!!
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
Once reunited we drive to the original destination-the cabin of Gerard's boss. Pierce gives him a gun, says he needs to kill who is inside. We see the female office manager, who shows they have been involved.
I BET this is what ''Denver'' is all about.
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
Big climax time.
Gerard sees a picture and learns Pierce is her husband. He cannot do it, Pierce comes in and forces him, but the gun is not loaded.
Now Pierce gets rough with Butler, such bullcrap. I've watched Gerry stab terrorists in the head!
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
Gerry is told his daughter is at home so they race back to find her. But then- TWIST ARRIVAL
Abbey let's it be known SHE was in on the whole sham, because of his affair. It is an odd feeling to figure out the twist AND feel it is utter horseshit.
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
The money that was pitched was just paper, and all the posturing to threaten their daughter was a ruse.
Except - we saw Pierce hitting Abbey, and times they were alone he was still a gruff terrorist. But sure, TWIST...or whatever.
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
The main flaw is we have to buy Brosnan, 13 years Butler's senior and far slighter, can manhandle and abuse him throughout. Plus we have to watch Butler sobbing repeatedly. Yea - naaahhh.

I KNOW Mike Banning. Never would happen!

#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie
To close out this disposable thriller the title they switched to is not only frequently used, so are other elements.

If you want to mock the ridiculousness, this is on TubiTV, or VUDU.
If you get the wrong film by mistake, it is excusable.
#ButlerFest
#ShatteredMovie Image

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More from @MartiniShark

Nov 16, 2022
Not to imply that the @NYTImes is obsessed with Trump running once again and desperate to have him back on their pages -- Instead I'll just display it.
All of these are from THE PAST DAY
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Annnnnnd...there's more
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I'm looking forward to the "There is no need for Trump and no one cares about him" series, delivered in 127 parts over the next 2 years.
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Apr 7, 2021
This piece is woefully insufficient in assessing what @60Minutes let transpire and delivered as 'journalism'.
Describing what they did as ''missing the mark'', and describing it as a ''sloppy moment'' completely excuses the malpractice they committed in going after DeSantis.
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The 'Pay for Play' is a serious accusation, insinuating a company bribed a government leader.
Not only did the show fail to provide evidence, it did not even describe the benefit the company allegedly received. They implied criminal behavior in the absence of a crime
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The press subsisted for years on President Trump allegedly involved with Russia. Deals with a foreign enemy, profiting while a threat to our nation, and tight with Putin while servicing a communist nation.
All said, the press should be very concerned about Joe Biden. A thread
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townhall.com/columnists/bra…
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Read 8 tweets
Aug 17, 2020
'Roight then -
Tonight we keep #ButlerFest moving along, our annual monthly tribute to master thespian @GerardButler.
This go 'round he places himself in the hands of Guy Ritchie, so Gerry is immersed in the mean streets of London for the ensemble crime romp ''Rocknrolla''. Image
Guy Ritchie exploded on the scene following his stylish neo-noir crime movies “Lock, Stock, & Two Smoking Barrels”, and the very excellent “Snatch”. His career was to be stratospheric

Then he met Madonna.

Then he made “Swept Away”. No more need be said.
#ButlerFest
#Rocknrolla
After years of middling success after martyring Madge Guy attempted to get back to his roots here with a gritty but flashy London crime caper.
Expect caffeinated editing, Dutch angles, a slew of arcane characters and accents thicker than blood pudding.
#ButlerFest
#Rocknrolla
Read 17 tweets
Aug 4, 2020
Okay Jerks -
The mean cyber gods kept me off of the intertubes for a few days, so I am kicking off our annual August #ButlerFest in proper fashion.
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COVID-WAR DIARY:
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#CovidWarDiary

Early into the siege the supply line were cut off. We lost Charmin Hill first, then they blocked access to Cottonelle Valley. We heard from Dollar General there could be some needed rations. They were 1-ply, but we took what we could carry
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Read 8 tweets

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