Yes, if you express a bad or dangerous or ignorant or hurtful opinion about adoption, it's likely that #adoptee twitter will see it. It's also likely that we will share our opinions about it with you.
Some of us are loud, some of us are quiet, some of us come out swinging, some of us are willing to take some time to explain - IF we feel you are dealing with us in good faith.
See, most of us have a pretty keen nose for bullshit. It's a survival skill we've had to develop.
See, most of us have a pretty keen nose for bullshit. It's a survival skill we've had to develop.
We can tell when questions are coming from a genuine place, from a genuine lack of knowledge.
And, we can tell when questions and responses are coming from a privileged, entitled place, and are designed to somehow hurt or minimize or diminish our voices.
And, we can tell when questions and responses are coming from a privileged, entitled place, and are designed to somehow hurt or minimize or diminish our voices.
I don't speak for all #adoptees. We are not a monolith. We share some common threads, but our stories are not all the same.
There is no "one size fits all" approach to be made here.
Our stories are our own. Deeply individual. And deeply personal.
There is no "one size fits all" approach to be made here.
Our stories are our own. Deeply individual. And deeply personal.
You are not entitled to those stories simply because you are curious, or because the things we are saying are in conflict with the beliefs or opinions on adoption you've always held.
You are not entitled to ask incredibly personal and intrusive questions merely because you are curious, or trying to understand.
You are not our therapists.
You don't get to analyze us, and find us wanting in some way because you don't like what we are saying.
You are not our therapists.
You don't get to analyze us, and find us wanting in some way because you don't like what we are saying.
If you are genuinely curious about adoption - the system, follow some #adoptees. Explore under the hashtags. Read our posts. See what conversations we are having.
Listen. Learn.
And once you feel as though you are ready to talk with us - be prepared to listen some more, and learn some more.
And once you feel as though you are ready to talk with us - be prepared to listen some more, and learn some more.
Be respectful. Be kind. Be open to hearing opposing points of view. Be aware that we are speaking about our own actual lived experiences - and that these will differ from everything you think you know about adoption as a system.
Most of us are happy to educate those who are willing to learn.
Most of us can tell the difference between those who are and those who are not.
Most of us can tell the difference between those who are and those who are not.
We are not your verbal punching bag. We are not an outlet for your own insecurities or anger.
We have enough insecurities and anger of our own - we will not be the keepers of yours.
We have enough insecurities and anger of our own - we will not be the keepers of yours.
We do not owe you our story. We may choose to share our story with you - but that is, and always will be, OUR CHOICE.
We have had so much taken from us, stripped from us, when it comes to our story.
We have had so much taken from us, stripped from us, when it comes to our story.
What we have left is ours, and we will guard it zealously, make no mistake.
If we choose to share - accept it with humility. With kindness. With care.
Believe us when we speak our truth.
If we choose to share - accept it with humility. With kindness. With care.
Believe us when we speak our truth.
It's taken some of us decades to be able to speak our truth at all.
