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I spent so much of my time online calling out the Black Church and Black male pastors for the ways they uphold and live into sexism and patriarchy. They *know* better; they just don’t *do* better.

The bar is so low and they all pass it.
I read and watched their reactions to #WAP, talking about the need for protection/dignity to be restored to their “queens”. They said nothing about protecting Meg weeks prior when she told us she was shot (and we knew who did it).
I spent so much time over the years writing essays, tweets and rants—trying to get these dudes to see us. To go beyond their thin “I support women in ministry” veneer to do real theological, ethical paradigm shifting.

The greatest advice I received was to stop wasting my time.
I was encouraged to stop focusing on trying to hold folks accountable who have no intentions of being held accountable. My energy is best spent affirming and endowing sisters with what we need to thrive in this world.

It changed everything for me.
We live in a world where a Black woman had to get online, show her bullet wounds and relive her trauma in hopes she’d be believed.

We live in a world where a Black woman’s murder at the hands of the State becomes cool merch, memes and throw away lines in political prayers.
We live in a world where people are more enraged by our declaration that we’ve got that WAP than they are that 60% of us are violated before we turn 18 and 1 in 5 Black women are sexual assault survivors.
We rage and we have every right.

Watching Meg tonight hurt. And I hope all the men and girl dads finally speak up and hold themselves and their brethren accountable for the harm, in all its forms, they’ve done to us.

But we know how this will go.
We know that men won’t say a word because they’d have to face their complicity and hypocrisy.

And it’s sad I’ve come to expect the disappointment. But I’m glad I’ve learned to place my energies where they matter most: uplifting Black women because we’re all we got.
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