“Well the Jews did kill Jesus…it’s in the Bible”

So how about this…let’s not say this in service of defending Jamie—lest we do the very thing he was accused of doing that he actually didn’t do. Saying the Jews killed Jesus IS antisemitic.

Yes, he was put to death. He didn’t ask to be killed.

But to say “the Jews” did it presents them as a monolith and asserts that Jewish cultural and religious identities are in violent opposition to Christian identity.

Soul ties and “God delivered me but I still struggle” logic are some wild hills to die on because where did Jesus encounter someone and not radically change their life and circumstances? Show me in the Bible where it says:

“and straightway Jesus partially healed them from their afflictions so they could spend the rest of their life wondering if they met him for real.”

Because that’s exactly what’s happening when we live realities grounded in these teachings.

I’m an unapologetic member of the Beyhive so I know that what I say gets written off as fandom. I’m also a scholar of race, religion and gender so I be knowing what I’m talking about. LOL Many Black evangelicals/evangelical-adjacents call Beyoncé “demonic” because to be Black and Christian, for them, is to desire (knowingly or unknowingly) a religious identity and existence distant and apart from anything that culturally affirms Blackness.

I get tagged in or sent a lot of videos of people whose theological views and perspectives are different from mine. Many sisters send it to me asking my opinion.

I’m gon be honest with you: I never watch it. LOL If your theological position is one I deem to be harmful and death dealing, I couldn’t care less what you have to say about anything. And here’s the truth: they’d probably say (or have said) the same about me.

I wish we could talk about:

- Derrick Jaxn
- Da’Naia Jackson
- the relationship expert industrial complex
- the Christian couple social media/influencer empire
- hyper-religiosity and the wounds women carry because of it - how these dudes will never hesitate to make you look like a fool and leave you for who you were told you couldn’t be

…without it devolving into jokes about her, the helmet of salvation and that recent video where she went Old Testament on us.

When I attended a private Christian school, a teacher’s family owned one of the biggest Christian supply stores. Whenever I’d go in there (or in Lifeway), I always said I wanted my book in there. “One day, people are going to be coming in here to get my stuff.” That was when I was lowkey evangelical AF and had no idea how my theological views would shift so much that the people who own, operate and shop in those stores would no longer think I’m Christian.

At 40, I experienced the incredible high of releasing my first book to acclaim I didn’t expect. And, at 40, I got to be present and prayerful as my grandmother crossed over to the other side. Though joy and grief bookend the year, there is deep gratitude for it all. For the grace and humanity I have found in family, friends, professional relationships and love. I am living a full life.

My birthday prayer is this: a season of sustained peace and uninterrupted joy. Even as it’s grind time, I want to rest in some promises.

I don’t remember much about the week between Mama’s death and her funeral. I know I made it through because I’m still here but I can’t tell you what happened. …but I do remember Soror Freda’s grits casserole. I used to only make it during this week and Christmas morning. But now, I make it much more often.

I made it today.

Two things can be true: Donda Academy should have never had students in the first place *and* sending parents an email that says “no school for the rest of the year…see y’all next September” is wild. Mania/insecurities/narcissism have collided in a way that has long made this painful—and exhausting—to watch. But seeing people, who should have a modicum of common sense, defend all of this as some chess-not-checkers/master plan unfolding nonsense makes it even more bewildering.

Being in the kitchen is a spiritual practice for me. Sometimes, I cook/bake because I’m incredibly happy and just want to lean into joy. Sometimes, I cook/bake because I’m incredibly sad and just want to lean into the sorrow. Regardless of what brings me into the kitchen, I feel God there. I feel my mama and my grandparents there. I feel ancestors I never met there. They all come to see about me.

When I came home after my mother died, I fell apart at the door. All I could hear was my grandma telling the people in our house to bring me to her.

Grandma held me and rocked me until I fell asleep. She didn’t leave me that night. She held me all night. My grandma promised me that, for as long as she lived, she would be there for me. She told me that, while she couldn’t replace my mom, she’d stand in her place. Because she loved me and because she wanted to honor her relationship with her daughter.

My therapist invited me to become aware of how my actions concerning a specific prayer, though well intentioned and albeit productive, are a veiled attempt at proving to God and to myself that I’m qualified to have it—when I don’t need to prove that at all. She asked me what it would look like to stop those actions and rest in the truth that I am, both, deserving and qualified as I am *right now*.

Can I see that Candice, was her question. Not at the moment, was my answer.

I don’t think it’s possible to read and seriously engage the scriptures and see Jesus as indifferent.

He literally defied religious rule at every turn. From birth, his body was marked to be anything but indifferent.

Jesus is a political figure. With each healing and miracle, Jesus shifted the socioeconomic conditions of the people.

He enabled people, who had been dismissed and maligned, to be restored into community with those they loved.

To see the full humanity of people is a political act.

In his letter to Angela Davis, James Baldwin said “…if they take you in the morning, they will be coming for us that night.” When the Voting Rights Act was gutted and as Republican led counties and states continued to act (often illegally) in ways that further disenfranchised voters, many were silent.

“Just because God ain’t talking to you about the problem doesn’t mean God ain’t working on an answer.”

That negro Dharius Daniels know he’s somebody’s (Baptist) preacher!

Sheesh! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 That dude said the children of Israel would’ve gotten there sooner if God didn’t have to talk Moses into his adequacy.

…the way I bout just cussed!!!!

You know how folks will start grilling any and everything when they’ve finished cooking their food but the grill is still real hot and they don’t want to waste a fire?! That’s how I am with a hot oven. LOLOL Chile….you know I’m hot as fish grease my sweet potato pie split.

I agree. I’ve been reading the comments and messages I’ve received since I posted this.

Parents working through the emotions of setting such a boundary. Adult children working through the emotions of such a boundary needing to be set and the other parent not stepping up.

https://twitter.com/ShenelleJackso1/status/1447585743388364801

Honestly, I don’t think much of the conversation about unhealthy parents is helpful or productive these days. Too much of it is finger pointing and trying to determine which unhealthy parent is worse. How does that actually help?!

…made my smoothie this morning and bout cried. LOL

It’s been three weeks since Charlie came home and I still haven’t gotten back to my “normal” routine. From trying to figure my new workout time (5am workouts are a wrap…thanks Charlie) to puppy-proofing my house to ensuring I spend enough time with him so he knows he’s safe (and can’t poop inside), I am EXHAUSTED!

My dad was absent because, in the very beginning, he was inconsistent. I was a baby and in my toddler years and he was in and out. My mama set a boundary that she wasn’t going to allow him access to me if he wasn’t gon be consistent. Instead of stepping up, he disappeared. I have no memories of him whatsoever. At one point, his aunt was my babysitter when I was a baby. I don’t even remember that, obviously.

When my mama set the boundary, he was out. He didn’t want the accountability of consistency. He also didn’t want her telling him what to do.

I set a goal to lose 40 pounds before my 40th birthday. In addition to this dating detox, I’m also on a sugar fast. I’m down 16 pounds.

As a result, my third eye is open. And all it wants this morning is a pecan waffle. 🥴 🤣 In all seriousness, if you’re single and/or noticing a slight unhealthy relationship with sugar, I would really recommend doing the detox or the fast, or both.

I’m learning a lot about myself as a result of both of them.

There are a lot of folks coming for deconstruction as of late. Deconstructing faith matters. Stop listening to those who seek to tell you deconstruction is all about finding ways to justify “sin”. Be very clear: the critique of deconstruction is rooted in Whiteness, no matter who voices the critique. Deconstruction is about shifting the balance of power.