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Okong' Okuna Profile picture
@XivTroy
Aug 21, 2020 • 6 tweets • 2 min read • Read on X
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They cuffed me again last month. This time, the judge's gavel banged louder: "25 years Mr. Sean". 3 counts of aggravated assault & a homicide. Them niggas had it coming. My 14 yr old visited. His mama crying like a bitch. But he strong like me, he said, "Fuck the popo, pops"
He said, "don't you worry, pops. I'm going to be a lawyer. I'm gon get you out". I said, "that's what's up youngin". His mama still bitching, so I went back to my cell. Sneered at my cellmate: "I ain't like you, Joe. My son is will be a great lawyer. He's coming to get me out".
It's been 10 years now. Long time since I saw the youngin. I heard his mama done married a wimp. He probably keeping 'em from coming. Joe asked again yesterday, "when's your son coming?" Told him the youngin was finishing up on his law thesis. "He'll be here soon".
2 more years. It's been exactly 5 years since I saw my son. But I ain't lost hope. Youngin wouldn't lie to his father. I heard his mama a stripper now. She was always a hoe. But youngin probably wrapping up on that law degree. He his daddy's son. It won't be long now.
6 more months: they sneaked in an inmate in the middle of the night. They say he dangerous but it was my son. I said, "Jay, what the fuck?". He moved closer & whispered, "don't you worry pops, it's alright. My son is 10, he's going to be a lawyer. He's coming to get us out".
As he sauntered away, I turned back towards my cell. Joe sneered, "your son came, when are you getting out?". I looked away pensively. Just then I heard Jay tell his cellmate, "I ain't like you, Mikey, my son will be a lawyer. He's coming to get me out": Cruel circle of life.

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More from @XivTroy

Okong' Okuna Profile picture
Jul 25, 2025
A friend I'd not spoken to in almost 4 years called. We talked & laughed for over 30 minutes. Said we needed to grab a meal soon. Then towards the end he asked; "Before I forget... how did you get over your heartbreak back then?"

That's how I discovered he was getting divorced.
No preamble. No weeping. I

t occured to me he had mourned already in the quiet of his mind. And, in calling, he simply wanted to be heard, by someone who would understand... without needing clarification.

So I said in all earnestness, "Time, brother. Only time."
And with that, we said our goodbyes.

Conventionally, one would be upset that he only looked for me in trying times.

But friendship manifests differently to me.

Friendship is not a roll call to be signed daily. I will give it when you need it, according to my capacity.
Read 5 tweets
Okong' Okuna Profile picture
Jul 4, 2025
Last week, I visited a friend who lost his well-paying job, & had to start from scratch. His house was empty except for a bed, carpet, & cooking items. This emptiness haunted me all the way home, until it occured to me, that his house felt as empty because it was neat. Spotless.
He was without means, but he still made his bed every morning. washed the few plates he had, and opened the windows to let in light. The weight of these actions was not lost on me. He was broke, not broken. He did not have much, but the little he had, he still looked after.
The day was punishment, but in the evening he slept on a neat bed. He ate little, but ate on a clean plate. Gloomy as the circumstances were, light still seeped in. He refused to let his circumstances define him. It was not about the things he had but who he was.
Read 6 tweets
Okong' Okuna Profile picture
Apr 18, 2025
Growing up, it was always the odd couple with the longest, best relationship. He'd look like a man from WWII: laconic, lanky, awkward. She, on the other hand, would be utterly vivacious, short in stature. You'd never hear anything of their romance, except see them together.
On Sundays, you'd see them heading to the market: him with long strides; her with tiny, quick ones... telling a tale. And he would smile once in a while to acknowledge her, but otherwise look distracted. Focused on some clandestine pursuit. Ever in a world of his own. Square peg
And everybody would wonder, how they existed together being so different. Him so withdrawn, her the life of the party - it was impossible. So we concluded that he was sat on. She had something on him. Yet every evening, like a ritual, you'd see him rushing home to her with bread.
Read 6 tweets
Okong' Okuna Profile picture
Apr 10, 2025
There is a perfectly logical explanation for why Africans generally do not keep time as "diligently" as their foreign peers. It is rooted in historical African traditions, & continues to influence our interactions today.

Lateness is not necessarily a mark of baseness.
#1

In western society, time is a commodity that must be exploited or traded. Conversely, in traditional African society, time is not a pre-existing endowment to be traded. It needed to be produced. Or made.

So, Africans defined time on the basis of events, not numerical values
#2

E.g. Luo people didn't say, I'll meet you at 7 am. Instead, they said, I'll see you when the sun rises ("ka chien'g oyaore") - & that could be anytime between 5 - 10 am.

Similarly, for the Ankole of Uganda, cows are revered. So time was subject to events affecting cattle.
Read 13 tweets
Okong' Okuna Profile picture
Mar 30, 2025
Last time I was away, I met up with a friend I hadn't seen in quite a long time. In her 30s, quite successful, single. So later on I offered to link her up with a few buddies. But I said, they may not be as successful yet. She said, "I want an earning man. Not a moneyed man".
Which was interesting, because I had never had it phrased that way. So I said, "what is the difference?" She said an earning man knows the value of commitment because he is committed to something. He is not idle. He is productive & there is a tangible, scalable result.
I said okay, but the moneyed man could be committed too? But she said, not necessarily. She said some people are born into money. Others sell drugs for money. Others kill. That's centering money, she said. I want someone who centers earning. They understand commitment...
Read 11 tweets
Okong' Okuna Profile picture
Mar 26, 2025
1. Men are just getting brutally logical about relationships. There are no incentives in marriage beyond the romance attached to it. You can get a kid outside of marriage. Can get sex outside. Can get companionship outside it, why marry & risk losing your autonomy & money?
2. Men did not "waste time". This simple inference ignores the critical socioeconomics of relationships. It takes comparatively longer for men to establish themselves. Especially in my continent, where the few boomer men in power are governed by their loins.
3. Most young men just don't get as many opportunities to advance earlier on. & Career female peers do not give grace. Even the 20s/30s jobless will consider a jobless male peer a loser. Joblessness/an average salary is an accident on her part, but lack of initiative on yours.
Read 11 tweets

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