Should we start with mentors and support systems? A single mentor won't cut it. You'll have questions your mentor can't answer. Your mentor will have times when they're busy/stressed. I recommend a whole bunch of people you can turn to when you have questions or need support.
I like to have mentors at all levels, though I don't really call them mentors usually. It's also nice to have some in your institution and some outside of it. (2/?)
For ex, as a first year grad student, I developed a support system with other first years, dissertating students, my advisors, and some professors from undergrad. Just grab coffee or lunch or beer with other students to connect and hear what others are dealing with. (3/?)
Hearing antics of 3rd year or 5th year grad students helped me have some kind of idea of what to expect later. Plus, they had plenty of tips for what to do (and what not to do). Develop a good rapport and those friendships will last. (4/?)
I didn't consciously try to develop this network, but I realized later what a gift it was. Bonus: when it's time to apply for jobs, you'll have a foot in the door at several places. (Can you have a foot in several doors simultaneously? How many feet can you have?) (5/?)
These grad student connections are also great for "dumb" questions that you may not want to ask your more formal mentors. Maybe you'll feel comfortable asking "dumb" questions to your advisor, but it's still nice to have options! (6/?)
Actually, my grad school friends still call each other up to ask questions. "Is there a better way to do this task in R?" "What model do you use after cross validation?" tl;dr: don't underestimate the power of student relationships! (7/?)
One more great thing about student-student support systems: emotional support. Commiserate and cheer each other on. Develop a crew of supportive, understanding, nonjudgmental people. Send out the energy you want to receive. (8/?)
I keep referring to these as student-student, but really it's peer-peer.
I spent a lot of time focusing on peer-peer/student-student support because I think that people can forget how valuable these relationships are (both in the present and in the future). (9/?)
I spent a lot of time focusing on peer-peer/student-student support because I think that people can forget how valuable these relationships are (both in the present and in the future). (9/?)
I also want to talk about having supportive people within your department/institution and outside of it. Some conversations are just better to have with people you don't work with. If you have tension with another person in your department/institution, (10/?)
it may be helpful to discuss it with someone totally unrelated to the situation. That way, you can keep it anonymous (ish) and your confidant(e) won't have to "choose sides." They can just support you. (11/?)
This is assuming the "tension" isn't actually harassment or discrimination. That's a totally different beast, and I'm probably not qualified to tell you the best way to handle it. (12/?)
I've been smelling the tasty lunch my husband finished making 45 min ago, so I'll wrap up this thread so I can chow down. (13/?)
Summary:
- Create a BIG network with a VARIETY of people.
- Remember your peers are incredible.
- Don't expect everything out of a single person.
- Ask for support as appropriate, and give it in return.
- Send out the energy you wish to receive.
- Eat lunch.
(14/FIN)
- Create a BIG network with a VARIETY of people.
- Remember your peers are incredible.
- Don't expect everything out of a single person.
- Ask for support as appropriate, and give it in return.
- Send out the energy you wish to receive.
- Eat lunch.
(14/FIN)
