Thread by @tonnie_wa_juja

Story Za Tonnie Sn 3 Ep 5
(Bibi Ya Wenyewe Is A No Go Zone❌🚫🍆🍑)

"Bibi ya wenyewe is a no go zone",You should take these lyrics from Sauti Sol's Extravaganza very seriously cabrones.Monkey business with another man's wife is very dangerous,I learned the hard way,Skiza Story..

Kuna end month fulani hapo mi na geng yangu ya broke cabrones tuliamua enough is enough, tulikua tumechoka kukata konyagi bedsitter buana, we had to go for a real party 😂. So tukasanitize shopping, tukatoa vitu sio important, kama steelwire, ndio tusave tupate ya pombe...

The 3 of us managed to save around 5K, pesa inaweza nunua 50×100 Kinoo, hio pesa tungebaki juja hatungeweza kuimaliza, wueh😂, So tukaamua tufike Blend Thika kama masoshi wenzetu, iko nene😂. Kama kawaida nikapiga ile luku yangu matata, Jinare, Airmax na jersey ya Juve, mwaki🔥😂

Before tutoke tukaamua tujichome 🍁 ndio tukifika Blend zishike teketeke 😂. Around 10pm tukadandia mat hadi theka. Hio day blend ilikua imeshona kama nansenz, end month, kila mtu ako na pesa buana. Tukajiseti kwa corner kama cabrones, hio ndio base fiti ya kusoma rada😂..

Pesa yetu ilimanage kutushikia Gilbeys moja, na beer mbili mbili za kujaza meza😂,tukabaki tu na fare. Sasa form ilikua cabron wawili wanaenda kudance, mmoja anakalisha meza in turns. Kupata dem ilikua ngori, juu madem walikua ni wale wa nibuyie, hawana pesa kama sisi tu😂..

The night was okay for us, compared to kukata konyagi bedsitter😂. Turn yangu nikidance kuna madam fulani alikua hyped videadly, cabron hajailalisha, nikasimama nyuma yake kama mkia, madam akainama, hio ni kama GG kuingia first half😂. Tukadance kidogo alafu akachoka, akajitoa😩.

Walikua na Tables mbili, zimejaa pomoni😂, drinks noma noma. Walikua wanakaa working class, alafu they seemed to be in couples, rende ya mtu ka nane hivi. Huyo madam nikampigia hesabu, akiamka naamka, alikua na tako, na haombi drink, show me a better duo😂. So mi nilikua sorted..

Kidogo kwa table yao nikaona ni kama wanabishana, madam akajitoa na drinks zake. Akakam akaniuliza nimeketi wapi, nikampeleka kwa meza ya cabrones 😂. Kuketi anashangaa tuko clabu ama tuko ni daro, meza haina any😭. Akaita waiter, akatuitishia William Lawson's na chaser😭..

Sisi chaser tunaonanga kama kuwaste pesa buana, we were lucky.Macabron wakaniambia huyo madam nisijaribu kumwacha, tulikua tumepata mdhamini😂.Madam naye nilimshughulikia vizuri, akitaka kurombosa, namuekea Msambwada vizuri ajibambe😂.Hio day ni kama niliamka na ile mguu inafaa😂

Around 2AM madam akadai she was tired, she wanted to leave😭. She said she would buy more drinks for my friends if I agreed to leave with her, ni kama nilikua nimemkunywa😂. Cabrones wakanishow nisijaribu kuwaangusha, so I obliged. Kugwara mature ghel is fun either way😂..

Madam alikua na Mark X buana, nikaketi mbele kama star😂. Alikua anaishi karibu na highway. Kuingia keja ya huyo madam, nikaconfirm what I already knew, madam ni soshi ajab. Screen alikua nayo ni kama dirisha tatu za bedsitter yangu😭. Cabron alikua ameangukia dream woman😭..

She wasn't in a mood to waste time, akanipeleka straight in her bedroom. Kitanda ni ile mnaonanga mall huko section za furniture, tena imepigwa duvet ingine kubwa kama nansenz, duvet inatoshana na tent😂. Madam akanishow "don't fear me, do your thing, make it worth my while😊".

Say no more, she had chosen the right guy for the job. Hio outfit yake nikaishukisha teke kama bei ya maembe January😂. Uzuri sijaifika club bila tools, nikazichomoa na bosco nikampiga jacket top to bottom😂. She was in her 30's so heshima kidogo, belly to belly ndo kick off🍆...

Lazima ningemake a good impression ndio niitwe rematch buana, ama ata nipewe contract😂. So I unleashed all the tricks I had up my sleeve. Madam kumlamba shingo, akapagawa, akaanza kuvibrate, bulls eye👌 na round 1. In the heat of the moment, her phone kept on vibrating😨...

Akaamua kuichukua azime, I was almost one stroke away from bursting a nut, madam akawika "Shit", tena akanitupa juu. "Dress up, amenitext ako kwa gate😲". Sikua narada, nikamuuliza "Who?😨". "My boyfriend, you need to leave". Wueh, cabron was in trouble, mshtuko wa roho😲..

Teketeke, nikadunga toja bila ata kutoa jacket kwa Msambwada 😂.Kumbe madam aliacha jamaa kwa club,jamaa akaamua kumfuata😨.Tukashuka na madam, ground floor nikajificha nyuma ya staircase.Yule jamaa alitoka kwa hio gari,khai😨,huyo angenitupa design Hulk hutupa Loki kwa avengers

Vile walipanda, mi nikachomoka kama ninja. 3 AM, thika super highway, na niko na chwani kwa mfuko,so uber❌, na hakuna mat. Singerudi blend, nikaamua kupiga kalessa hadi juja. Nilikua napita katikati ya highway, ndio jamaa akitokea nimuone kwa mbali😂, I was scared asf😨..

Nilikua nashangaa nitapitaje witeithie😭, mtaa ngori. Luckily mat fulani ya meru ikasimama, nilisuka huyo konda kama dem ndo akubali chwani hadi juja hio masaa😂. So, mat ikanidrop juja stage. Nilikua naskia kama wana wa israeli vile walifika Canaan, wueh😭, very emoshono...

The job wasn't done yet, hio time kutoka stage mpaka gate C 3AM ilikua kama level 44 ya temple run😭, barabara ni mbaya, plus magaidi wanakungoja kwa kila corner😲. Sikua na otherwise nikajikakamua, nikaamua nitatembea teke. Ilikua rainy season, potholes zimejaa maji😨...

Nilikua naomba tu "Mungu ukinifikisha salama, I will never have sex again😭".Kidogo kwa corner fulani, I think ni paka zilikua zinacheza, nikaskia kwa mabati "pah!" wueh😲. Hio barabara nasema ni mbaya niliikanyaga, ungedhani ni Lewis Hamilton kwa track ya formuala 1, ineos 1:59.

I could see our building's gate from a far, ikanipea motisha, I was doing 200kph but my foot was still on the gas😂.Finally nikafika bedsitter, Alhamdulillah😭, roho ilikua inapiga 450 beats per minute. It had been a while since I prayed, hio day nilipiga Bismillahi✊..

From that day, wasichana ambao wamenizidi umri❌, unless unionyeshe divorce papers 😂...✒

Fellow cabrones, wachana na bibi ya wenyewe, utakatwa mrija bure😂
And ladies please, usifanye kijana wa wenyewe apigwe bure, kama unaona hawezani na mzee wako ikifika ni vita, mwambie😂

Guys let's get to 20K.

I'm cooking something for you, Story Za Tonnie in a better version coming up pale YOUTUBE, stay tuned.

Alafu normalize following tweeps with great content like @Lynnsteve21 and @bae_evva

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Good day maniacs ✌.