Thread by @_yukla

lol imagine a #wangxian coffeeshop au where lwj has a crush on cute barista wwx...and everyone else mistakes lwj and jc’s inherent customer vs employee animosity as ❤️ enemies to lovers ❤️sexual tension

jc makes wwx go to the back of the shop whenever lwj is there bc he thinks he’s a stalker

but from wwx’s perspective, his bro and the cute guy from his chemistry class, who suddenly started getting coffee from their shop, are suddenly really hitting it off!! ok that’s fine!!!

so he decides to migrate closer n closer to lwj’s seat during lecture...they start walking out together after class and wwx’s always talking lwj’s ear off abt jc because he thinks they’re sooo bad at flirting! they must need a helping hand!! and wei wuxian has 2 HANDS

wwx: wow u must really like our coffee a lot huh, i see u almost every day at the shop!
lwj, trying not to sweat too much: mn. wei ying is very good at making coffee.
wwx: like wow my face is suddenly kinda hot for no reason

wwx: haha but you always order a hojicha latte...mix it up a bit! u know JIANG CHENG is really into cold brews lately!!
lwj: mn. and what is your favorite?
wwx: OH GOD. FOCUS WEI YING FOCUS YOURE DOING THIS FOR YOUR BROTHER’S FIRST EPIC ROMANCE

lwj keeps showing up and every single time wwx barely gets out a “HI LAN ZH—“ before jc immediately butts in. he’s got like a sixth sense for when the bell jingle means *lan wangji incoming*

and everyone else is like omg it’s fate jc and lwj are so in tune 🥺🥺🥺

jc, giving lwj the stink-eye: wei wuxian we’re almost out of chocolate chip muffins go to the back and check for more
wwx: ahhhh i see!!! he wants some alone time with lan zhan!!
also wwx: hmm my chest kinda hurts? so weird. i gotta stop throwing back so many espresso shots

but he is so so set on giving them space! so much space that another milky way forms right there in the coffeeshop!! this is for the proper blossoming of their romance!

(ignoring the fact that there are still like 10 other patrons staring intently at the LWJ-JC Daily Show)

one time lwj slips a massive roll of bills into the tip jar along with a sneaky paper with his phone number written on it

jc reaches in, leaves the bills there, pulls the number paper out and pockets it to destroy later, maintaining spiteful eye contact all the while

some rando mooching off the wifi while sipping on the dregs of the frap they got 2 hrs ago: guys did u fucking see that?? lwj gave jc his digits!!
wwx, in the back: oh haha...his number...wow jiang cheng so lucky! u must be so excited!! 😊

jc later that night at his apartment, absolutely fuming and using lwj’s fat tips for a black-out online shopping frenzy to Cope: you know what. i think wei wuxian needs one of those tasers that are disguised as iphones

jc: i have something for you. do not ask any questions but i think it would be good for you to keep this on you at all times
wwx: wow a-cheng!! how did u know i dropped my phone in the toilet and needed a replacement, best bro ever! *presses button*
phone: taser noises
wwx:
jc:

wwx: jiang cheng. what is this
jc: a taser
wwx: yeah i know but why
jc: it’s for PROTECTION. it gets dark at night u never know what could happen idiot!!
wwx: jiang cheng i know self defense

jc: OK WELL IF U CAN DEFEND URSELF SO WELL THEN WHY WAS I ABLE TO KNOCK U OFF UR FEET THAT ONE TIME
wwx: I HAD JUST GOTTEN MY PUPILS DILATED AT THE EYE DOCTOR!!!!!! MY HEAD WAS HURTING AND U WERE SHINING A FLASHLIGHT DIRECTLY INTO MY EYES BECAUSE U THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY!!!!

anyway after an entire comedy of errors, the whole situation culminates in a scene where jc finally confronts lwj about him “stalking” wwx, and wwx mistakes it as lwj asking out jc

(but lwj would never actually do this because asking ppl out at their job is a dick move!)

wwx: why are u giving him such a hard time!!! lan zhan is such a catch anyone would be lucky to date him you should say yes!!
jc: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. THIS GUY IS A CREEP IM PROTECTING UR STUPID ASS

and the whole misunderstanding unravels!! this happens at rush hour so the entire coffeeshop of regulars is watching in fascination as their daily-view coffeeshop meet-cute romance spirals into a thrilling love triangle
(and none of them are mad about their drinks being delayed)

eventually, after much yelling, the three of them work it all out, jc gives his begrudging approval, and wangxian get their perfect first date
bc while wwx spent this whole time dumping jc-facts on lwj, lwj was steadily hoarding facts about What WWX Likes

then they fall even more deeply in love and kiss a lot. the end! 🌹

if u made it this far thank u for reading, just had to get that out of my system whew 😌

im shameless so if u wanna read some more comedic wangxian like this thread 👇

https://twitter.com/_yukla/status/1299637659497713664

*then check out my fic below!
GOD MY ACCIDENTAL OMISSIONS ON TWITTER...I HATE THIS