Okay, you asked for it.
I am about to tell you my theory, which is so controversial and yet so obviously based in fact, that it's validity cannot easily be disputed.
And yet, because it is about a beloved subject, it will anger many. I suggest everyone mute me, really.
1/
I am about to tell you my theory, which is so controversial and yet so obviously based in fact, that it's validity cannot easily be disputed.
And yet, because it is about a beloved subject, it will anger many. I suggest everyone mute me, really.
1/
Last chance.
2/
2/
Okay, here it goes.
It's about Ariel and Prince Eric.
3/
It's about Ariel and Prince Eric.
3/
The song, "Under The Sea" was not originally written to be sung by Sebastian.
It was written for the sequel, after the couple are married, to be sung by Ariel.
For a specific reason.
4/
It was written for the sequel, after the couple are married, to be sung by Ariel.
For a specific reason.
4/
The song "Under The Sea" is actually meant to be sung by Ariel to Prince Eric. Their marriage is in trouble.
Because he won't do oral.
So in a tearful confession, she admits she's been getting it all around the palace aquarium.
5/
Because he won't do oral.
So in a tearful confession, she admits she's been getting it all around the palace aquarium.
5/
"But Gail, that's weird," you say.
"Where's your evidence," you say.
"What the hell is WRONG with you," you say.
Well listen up, Scuttle. It's all in the lyrics.
6/
"Where's your evidence," you say.
"What the hell is WRONG with you," you say.
Well listen up, Scuttle. It's all in the lyrics.
6/
"The seaweed is always greener
In somebody else's lake
You dream about going up there
But that is a big mistake
Just look at the world around you
Right here on the ocean floor
Such wonderful things surround you
What more is you lookin' for?"
7/
In somebody else's lake
You dream about going up there
But that is a big mistake
Just look at the world around you
Right here on the ocean floor
Such wonderful things surround you
What more is you lookin' for?"
7/
"Under the sea, under the sea
Darling, it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me
Up on the shore, they work all day
Out in the sun, they slave away
While we devotin', full time to floatin'
Under the sea"
UNDER THE SEA IS HER DOWNSTAIRS PORTION.
7/
Darling, it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me
Up on the shore, they work all day
Out in the sun, they slave away
While we devotin', full time to floatin'
Under the sea"
UNDER THE SEA IS HER DOWNSTAIRS PORTION.
7/
"But fish in the bowl is lucky
They in for a worser fate
One day when the boss get hungry
Guess who's gon' be on the plate"
GET it, Eric, or someone else WILL.
Guess who's going to be on the plate, if not the PRINCE?
8/
They in for a worser fate
One day when the boss get hungry
Guess who's gon' be on the plate"
GET it, Eric, or someone else WILL.
Guess who's going to be on the plate, if not the PRINCE?
8/
"Under the sea, under the sea
Nobody beat us
Fry us and eat us
In fricassee
We, what the land folks loves to cook
Under the sea, we off the hook
We got no troubles
Life is the bubbles"
She LITERALLY SAYS nobody eats it, 'in fricassee.'
9/
Nobody beat us
Fry us and eat us
In fricassee
We, what the land folks loves to cook
Under the sea, we off the hook
We got no troubles
Life is the bubbles"
She LITERALLY SAYS nobody eats it, 'in fricassee.'
9/
"Since life is sweet here
We got the beat here
Naturally
Even the sturgeon an' the ray
They get the urge an' start to play
We got the spirit, you got to hear it
Under the sea"
You heard her. It's sweet, and Ray has the urge for it.
10/
We got the beat here
Naturally
Even the sturgeon an' the ray
They get the urge an' start to play
We got the spirit, you got to hear it
Under the sea"
You heard her. It's sweet, and Ray has the urge for it.
10/
"The newt play the flute
The carp play the harp
The plaice play the bass
And they soundin' sharp
The bass play the brass
The chub play the tub
The fluke is the duke of soul"
This is just plain filthy.
11/
The carp play the harp
The plaice play the bass
And they soundin' sharp
The bass play the brass
The chub play the tub
The fluke is the duke of soul"
This is just plain filthy.
11/
"The ray he can play
The lings on the strings
The trout, rockin' out
The blackfish, she sings
The smelt and the sprat
They know where it's at
An' oh, that blowfish blow"
THE 'LING IS ON THE STRINGS.
12/
The lings on the strings
The trout, rockin' out
The blackfish, she sings
The smelt and the sprat
They know where it's at
An' oh, that blowfish blow"
THE 'LING IS ON THE STRINGS.
12/
"What do they got? A lot of sand
We got a hot crustacean band
Each little clam here, know how to jam here
Under the sea"
EACH LITTLE CLAM HERE KNOW HOW TO JAM HERE.
13/
We got a hot crustacean band
Each little clam here, know how to jam here
Under the sea"
EACH LITTLE CLAM HERE KNOW HOW TO JAM HERE.
13/
"Each little slug here, cuttin' a rug here
Under the sea
Each little snail here, know how to wail here
That's why it's hotter, under the water
Ya we in luck here, down in the muck here
Under the sea"
I...WHY WON'T ERIC GO IN THE MUCK
14/
Under the sea
Each little snail here, know how to wail here
That's why it's hotter, under the water
Ya we in luck here, down in the muck here
Under the sea"
I...WHY WON'T ERIC GO IN THE MUCK
14/
Bonus: The Girl Who Has Everything has extra clues
"Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?"
Eric won't look at the stuff and thinks it isn't neat.
Fortunately for Ariel, she has gadgets and gizmos a'plenty.
15/
"Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?"
Eric won't look at the stuff and thinks it isn't neat.
Fortunately for Ariel, she has gadgets and gizmos a'plenty.
15/
Also, Sebastian comes back in the sequel, trying to help, with a genuinely filthy version of "Kiss the Girl."
16/
16/
"Shalalalalala
Make the scene, the trout is almondine,
Go on and kiss the girl.
Shalalalalala
Don't you stop, just make the mermaid pop
Go on and kiss the girl"
17/
Make the scene, the trout is almondine,
Go on and kiss the girl.
Shalalalalala
Don't you stop, just make the mermaid pop
Go on and kiss the girl"
17/
"Now's your moment, swampy as a blue lagoon
It's like a soggy macaroon
No time will be better
And you should just try
No point in staying dry
You gotta
Kiss the girl.
Sing with me now."
18/
It's like a soggy macaroon
No time will be better
And you should just try
No point in staying dry
You gotta
Kiss the girl.
Sing with me now."
18/
Seriously, though, who the hell needs 20 thingamabobs?
The cost of batteries ALONE.
19/
The cost of batteries ALONE.
19/
Anyway, that is my theory for the day.
NOW I AM OFF TO WATCH BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.
End/
NOW I AM OFF TO WATCH BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.
End/
Ariel on her honeymoon
Ariel when Eric is away at the Prince convention in Tulsa
The Chef is in on it. From "Les Poissons."
"Here's something for tempting ze palate
Prepared a la Francais technique
First you pound that clam flat with your mallet
Zen you do a deep dive
Even if you're afraid
Zen you turn up ze heat
'til it's nicely sautéed..."
"Here's something for tempting ze palate
Prepared a la Francais technique
First you pound that clam flat with your mallet
Zen you do a deep dive
Even if you're afraid
Zen you turn up ze heat
'til it's nicely sautéed..."
"Les Poissons Les Poissons
hee hee hee hon hon hon!"
hee hee hee hon hon hon!"
Naughty fish.
NAUGHTY FISH!
NAUGHTY FISH!
The verified last time she left a wet spot
Ariel is so desperate for Prince Eric to go down, she painted ‘Trump/Pence’ on his yacht.
I’m sorry, I love that one.
