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What’s described here isn’t going to break down the sex-based oppression of women. It’s just going to confuse this kid, and isolate them from their peer group
Raising girls, in struck with the gendered differences in clothing that are offered to children. It’s beyond pink and blue. Boys clothes encourage activity, they’re made of fabrics, patterns, and colours that stand frequent washing and resist damage during play
Their shoes are more practical for playing football and climbing trees, and they are designed to keep the entire foot dry on wet days! There are subtle nods to subjectivity: superheroes and sports themes that encourage them to feel able to impact their surroundings
Girls clothes, by contrast, are frequently such pale pastel colours that they would be ruined by a couple of sliding tackles. Unnecessary bows, frills, and even diamanté’s omnipresent, to catch on tree branches or to tear off in. Such clothes encourage passivity
Shoes aren’t designed for all weathers, exposing the upper foot to the rain. They are frequently patent leather (which any child should be able to ruin in three outings), or they have yet more butterflies, and bows. They aren’t designed to support the foot during active play
And girls clothes are continually emphasising they are objects: they are decorative, they are “Daddy’s Princess” (🤢). They are allowed to express a limited palette of emotions; they love animals, they are kind, or friendly. And they are ‘sexy’, even in toddlerhood (🤮)
If your kids want superheroes, or dinosaurs, or even just substantial pockets big enough for a conker and a bus pass, you’ll have to get them from the bots section. If you want hearts and unicorns , from the girls section. Each choice is designed to limit, not to expand.
Destroying sex-based oppression starts with offering a fuller choice of clothes to our kids: but we have to notice which kids are encouraged to become subjects, and which to become objects. Who is doing, and who is being done to. That’s how to elide a power differential
The power differential is expressed not only in clothing, but in access to outdoor play, in acceptable behaviour norms of volume, in proportion of time to speak, in access to outdoor activities, in encouragement in physical mastery, in access to ‘risky play’
For girls with more difficulty in interpreting social mores and cues, such as neurodiverse girls, it’s even harder to fit into the restrictive box that gender is. No wonder so many are responding by wanting a different box, calling themselves enby or masc. but this won’t work
All this does is give them an unhealthy self-obsession that leads to a medicalised and limited future. What girls need, are role models of women that show a different way of dealing with gender. Women like these fantastic women
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