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Dreamweasel Profile picture
@Dreamweasel
Sep 7, 2020 • 4 tweets • 1 min read • Read on X
Trump was a garbage fire of a human being when Republicans voted for him so every new revelation is merely confirmation of what we already knew, but since nobody changes their minds anymore the GOP simply expands their stockpile of excuses to allow them to continue as before
Conservatives by & large don’t believe Trump ever said anything all that bad about the troops, but by gum they are SHOCKED and APPALLED that the liberal media would try and sully the good name of their President with such a horrifying accusation
That’s just the coping mechanism; the GOP base needs to be inured to the avalanche of accusations against Trump to allow them to safely ignore them.

“Sure, Trump’s rude & impolitic. That’s just Trump being Trump! Of course the snowflakes won’t get it. It’s just more TDS.”
We now have an endlessly perpetuating cycle where Donald Trump is these Republicans’ last line of defense against a Deep-State-controllled mainstream media determined to say all of these terrible things about Donald Trump

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More from @Dreamweasel

Dreamweasel Profile picture
Jun 16
TEN LESSONS LEARNED FROM THE FAILURE OF DONALD TRUMP’S BIRTHDAY PARADE

10. This is what happens when you purge the Armed Forces of LGBT people

9. Threatening authoritarian control over multiple U.S. cities is probably not the most effective way to win friends
8. When organizing a parade of this magnitude, make sure that there are no other events competing for the public’s attention such as nationwide protests from the millions of Americans who hate your guts
7. If you’re going to demand a military parade in your honor, make sure you don’t accidentally forget that you dodged the draft sixty years earlier
Read 8 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
May 7
HONESTY IN MESSAGING

New blog post:
open.substack.com/pub/dreamwease…Image
ZELENSKYY: We need America’s support in protecting Ukraine from Russian aggression

TRUMP: I’m the President, So Fuck You

ZELENSKYY: Why are you being so antagonistic?

VANCE: Trump’s the President, So Fuck You

ZELENSKYY: That somehow went even worse than I expected
CARNEY: We look forward to welcoming you to the G7 summit. But I will gently yet firmly inform you that Canada is not for sale

TRUMP: I’m the President, So Fuck You

CARNEY: I had really hoped “gently but firmly” would be more effective

TRUMP: I’m the President, So Fuck You
Read 14 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Apr 28
A PURELY HYPOTHETICAL SCENARIO

New blog post:
open.substack.com/pub/dreamwease…Image
TRUMP: I should be allowed to shoot Democrats

D: Jesus, the man’s a dangerous lunatic

R: He’s obviously trolling you! 🤣 And you fall for it every time

TRUMP: I’m just saying, the Democrats clearly want me dead, so I should be able to shoot them in self-defense
CNN: Democrats are becoming alarmed that Trump is advocating murder on purely partisan grounds

FOX: Once again, liberal snowflakes are taking Trump’s lighthearted one-liners way too seriously

NYT: Trump’s website is now selling hats that read I’D RATHER BE SHOOTING DEMOCRATS
Read 12 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Apr 24
TEN THINGS DEMOCRATS ARE ENCOURAGED TO SAY TO TRUMP VOTERS WHO ARE GRAPPLING WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR DECISION

10. Well, who could have predicted that handing the country over to a pathological liar incapable of admitting he’s ever wrong could have led to such a shitshow
9. If the Democrats really thought all of those tariffs were such a bad idea, I’m sure they would have said something about it before the election

8. Look, splitting hairs over the precise definition of “insurrection” is well within the boundaries of political debate
7. I’ll bet a lot of people who completely ignored the Mueller Report were blindsided by Trump’s apparent support of Vladimir Putin against Ukraine and most of our other European allies
Read 8 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Apr 9
TEN POSSIBLE EXPLANATIONS FOR WHY TRUMP CALLED FOR A 90-DAY PAUSE ON SOME OF HIS TARIFFS

10. Belatedly realized how much cooler it would be if “Liberation Day” synced up with “Independence Day”

9. They caused so much winning that America was actually getting sick of it
8. There were concerns that they might make the border wall too expensive

7. Trump was hoping to return to the days when he was only the second-most deeply-loathed member of his administration
6. It was the result of a complicated mathematical formula involving an exhaustive history of international trade agreements and also the conveniently-timed occurrence of Opposite Day
Read 7 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Apr 3
TEN POTENTIAL MAGA EXCUSES FOR THE CRATERING U.S. ECONOMY

10. The squishy vibes-based numbers coming from Dow Jones & the NYSE are subject to manipulation from the Fake News Media, whereas the Consumer Confidence Index is driven by cold, hard data and is looking far more upbeat
9. What about that time Joe Biden unilaterally declared tariffs on dozens of countries for no good reason

8. The flightless waterfowl who live on the Heard and McDonald Islands of Antarctica clearly are not paying their fair share
7. Look, some of us are going to need to tighten our belts for an indefinite period of time unless we happen to be well-connected titans of industry who are willing to shower Trump with flattery and give him exactly what he wants
Read 8 tweets

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