Dreamweasel Profile picture
Still not accepting .GIFs or memes
Mike T Profile picture human Profile picture Sarah Earl-Anderson RN Profile picture max keeble Profile picture Marcus Olofzon 🇸🇪 Profile picture 15 added to My Authors
9 Apr
But is he up to the responsibility of making 60% of the country furious every day for four years
We’re never gonna see a Republican like Bush, McCain, or Romney again. The GOP might as well replace their goddamned elephant with an actual poop-flinging monkey.

- Don’t know jack about shit
- Make headlines for boldly ignorant sloganeering and/or smug putdowns
- “How triggered are the liberals” is primary measure of success
- Defended by wave after wave of Whataboutism on Fox News et. al
Read 4 tweets
6 Apr
1. Why was the “DRAKE” caption on his forehead needed; the tattoo was perfectly recognizable without it

2. Was Drake recently in an accident where he had a MEMENTO-style memory affliction

3. Was Drake cancelled for some reason
4. Did somebody who was desperate to hide their Drake tattoo imagine an enormous snail in its place and think “Eureka; the perfect crime!”

5. Who in history has ever had a giant snail tattooed on their body

6. Why not stamp “SNAIL” on its forehead so we don’t get the wrong idea
Read 4 tweets
28 Mar
Wake your spouse up at 6:00 AM and say "Honey, I'm pregnant!" This will be particularly effective if you are a man

At the grocery store, buy a box of Raisin Bran when you secretly wanted corn flakes

Tell people your cat's favorite color is orange when you secretly know her favorite color is green

Read 4 tweets
15 Mar
BILL BURR: (makes joke about feminism)


It’s almost as if there were a subset of the population that took such pleasure in making liberals angry that their own wishful thinking rendered the actual reactions of liberals irrelevant Image
I can easily imagine a brand-new Turning Point USA podcast where the theme of the very first episode is “Look at How Much I Triggered the Liberals Last Time”.

Doesn’t matter if it’s true. “Triggerer of Liberals” is now the imagined status of all modern conservative commentators.
Read 4 tweets
11 Mar
Since I don’t know how sustainable my current employment situation is, I may be forced to change my user name to “EnormousWeasel_Defiant!” and have a go at doing this professionally
Joe Biden seems to know a bit more about American government than Donald Trump.


If you think treatment and prevention of the Coronavirus should be among our government’s top priorities, raise your hand ✋

Read 5 tweets
27 Feb
Subjects Where I Suspect We’re Mainly Talking to Each Other:

- “The Big Lie”.

Most Republicans still don’t believe the election was fair.

- “Republican Civil War”.

January 6 notwithstanding, the GOP rank and file has not turned against Trump in any significant way.
The Republican Party still wants Trump. Failing that, they want a candidate who delivers as much of Trump’s agenda as possible:

1. More power to the cops
2. Guns, guns, guns
3. Defund PP / end abortion
4. Fight tooth & nail against LGBT normalization
5. Piss off the liberals
They see no contradiction in the party of Law and Order willfully turning a blind eye to sedition, insurrection, and abuse of power because none of them really view Trump’s offenses as an especially big deal. Certainly no worse than anything the Democrats have publicly supported.
Read 4 tweets
27 Feb
They don’t hate us because of the trigger warnings and disclaimers.

They hate us because they hate brown people, they hate gay people, they’re terrified of the mainstreaming of trans people, and they’ve been brainwashed into believing the socialists are coming for their guns.
The trigger warnings and disclaimers - even for something as benign as The Muppet Show - are just ammunition for their side to make us look absurd and oversensitive.

But it could all stop tomorrow & it would not make a difference, because it’s not why they hate us.
DISNEY: Hey, there was some racist stuff in these old kids’ TV shows that was accepted as normal 40 years ago, but rather than throw out the baby with the bathwater we’ll just include a short disclaimer before we rerun them unedited

Read 4 tweets
21 Feb
The staff at Trump Hotel had very specific instructions for how to serve Donald Trump his Diet Cokes, which I cannot read without remembering the elaborate ritual required to serve the Monseigneur his “happy chocolate” in A Tale of Two Cities washingtonian.com/2021/02/19/tru…
To wit: (1/2) Image
(2/2) Image
Read 4 tweets
22 Jan
R: You Democrats say you want unity, but you keep saying mean things about Trump supporters

D: He’s a racist pathological liar who sent his goons into the Capitol Building to overthrow an election that he lost, and you supported him every step of the way

D: For the record, our main goal was not “unity”; we wanted Trump gone because he is a deceitful & destructive presence

R: Well, how can we call you hypocrites unless we actively distort your message

D: You got me

R: When we call you “HYPOCRITES”, it means we win the argument
R: Go ahead; try it out. Say anything about Trump

D: OK; he incited an angry mob to attack the Capitol

R: HYPOCRITES! What about BLM rioting and looting?

D: That doesn’t mean you win the argument

R: Good luck convincing anyone on my side of that
Read 4 tweets
18 Jan
GOP YESTERDAY: BLM protesters are anti-American agitators whose relentless rioting & looting are destroying our cities

GOP TODAY: MLK was a Republican, you know

GOP TOMORROW: BLM protesters are anti-American agitators whose relentless rioting & looting are destroying our cities
Yes, I maintain that your reaction to the Black Lives Matter protests are the closest indicator we have to how you would have reacted to Martin Luther King’s activism if you’d been around sixty years ago
Anyone over the age of 70 who was actively aware of the Civil Rights Movement as it was happening is welcome to compare & contrast
Read 4 tweets
17 Jan
After Biden is inaugurated and the Senate impeachment trial is over there will really be no reason for Trump to be on TV all the time and since he won’t be yelling at us on Twitter every day let’s hope this “Cancel Culture” works as well as Republicans keep telling us it will
I’m trying to imagine what Trump’s post-Presidency life will look like and he’ll probably show up on OANN & Newsmax and he might even continue with the rallies but without his Twitter/Facebook megaphone I can’t imagine they’re going to be as popular as they were before
I’m fully aware of how much oxygen Schmuck a L’Orange is draining from the upcoming Presidential Inaugural and with all due deference to President-Elect Biden it’s not like we’ve ever had an openly seditionist lame duck kicking and screaming and refusing to leave before
Read 5 tweets
15 Jan
HA HA HA HA HA oh, nice try Mister Tuberville
Yes, let’s delay the inauguration until the pandemic, which the current President has done fuck-all to fix, is “behind us”
We already know this idiot believes there should be zero obstacles to Trump staying President forever; there’s no need to pretend “public safety” is of particularly grave concern to him, especially him light of what his allies are willing to do to keep Dear Leader in power
Read 5 tweets
10 Jan
Welcome to life in 2021, where the lion’s share of what passes for political discourse consists of Explaining Extremely Obvious Things to People Who Refuse to Listen
- Joe Biden won the 2020 election. Any “fraud” detected was minimal, & did not affect the outcome in any state.

- Several states were not allowed to count mail-in ballots until the Election Day ballots were complete. They were not mysteriously “found” in the middle of the night.
- There was no valid evidence for fraud; just hearsay and viral rumors on the Internet.

- Despite 60 attempts to prove fraudulent behavior, none of Trump’s evidence was considered legitimate in a court of law.
Read 18 tweets
9 Jan
You can review my Twitter feed from the week that preceded January 6 and find numerous iterations of me asking “WTF do Trump and his acolytes think he will accomplish?”

Trump overplayed his hand. His attempted coup has backfired in every possible way, & he is far worse off now.
Trump is now banned from Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. The House is rushing to impeach him a second time - with less than two weeks to go! - and a Senate removal is no longer the fairy tale it seemed a year ago.

Trump is justifiably being treated as an enemy of the state.
America’s eyes are now fully open. The footage we saw Wednesday indicates the kind of people we are dealing with. Trump has never been more disgraced, & those who ride with him are indisputably toxic.

Did I mention that Democrats now have the House, the Senate, & the Presidency?
Read 5 tweets
7 Jan
Well, despite everything that happened yesterday, Biden is America’s next President.

The coup failed. But goddamn, the number of Republicans who supported it was absolutely indefensible.

I had some thoughts yesterday, for those who missed it...
Trump thought that threatening Congress with his goons would wrest the Presidency away from Biden. It did not.

Americans are rightfully concerned with what they will do next in the service of Trump’s monomania.

I think there’s a word for people who deliberately inspire terror.
Make no mistake: nothing that happened yesterday changed Trump’s mind about anything. By several accounts, he appeared to enjoy watching the chaos on TV.

A few more Republicans seem to understand what we’re dealing with. Which is good.

The question remains: how will we respond?
Read 4 tweets
6 Jan
All right, Democrats: if you’re serious about “looking forward, not back” then at the very least you should use these past four years as a learning experience and strengthen some things we took for granted.

How about:

- Require all future Presidential candidates to disclose 10 years of tax returns

- Draw a line in the sand about when it’s acceptable to nominate SCOTUS replacements & stick to it

- Better yet, get rid of lifetime SCOTUS appointments & make it a 10-year limit

- Have a serious discussion about abolishing the Electoral College. (It’s just affirmative action for red states now; if they want a seat at the table, they should have to fairly compete in the marketplace of ideas.)

- Strengthen punishment for overt sedition

Read 4 tweets
4 Jan
Does she think that if the MSM were nicer to Trump voters, they’d start paying more attention to the media when they report the objectively terrible things Trump is doing?
Which sect of Trump voters does Meghan McCain believe are worthy of respect?

The aggressively deceitful ones who know that Trump is lying, or the deeply gullible ones who are brainwashed into believing that Trump and only Trump is telling the truth?
Read 5 tweets
2 Jan
So the official view of the “Trump Always Wins” sect of the Republican Party is that it is perfectly reasonable for a Presidential candidate to win the popular vote, win the electoral vote, but still not ascend to the Presidency if 51 Senators say “Nah”
To be honest, I don’t know if this is even a mainstream view of the GOP or simply the mantra of a tiny but vocal sect of Trump dead-enders who believe “Trump Always Wins” is an immutable law of the Universe that the mainstream media just hasn’t figured out yet
I don’t know WTF these people think is going to happen on January 6th after Congress inevitably confirms the Biden election but clearly they think the Proud Boys are going to serve as some kind of MAGA enforcement militia
Read 6 tweets
17 Dec 20
“Patriots” in 2020 translates to “Angry white guys with guns”
Most Trump supporters looked at Kyle Rittenhouse and thought “What a patriot!” Which makes perfect sense if you interpret “patriot” to mean “an angry white guy with a gun”
The State Capitol Building was surrounded by “patriots” who were there to protest Michigan’s social distancing ordinances.

Many people considered these “patriots” to be a threat.

Reports later came of a plot by “patriots” to kidnap Governor Gretchen Whitmer.
Read 5 tweets
8 Dec 20
COUNTERARGUMENT: The Trump supporters who do know Biden supporters have steadfastly refused to listen to a word any of us have said because they have all been brainwashed into beliving that mainstream media is a tool of the Deep State & never to be trusted washingtonpost.com/politics/2020/…
The implicit solution of the article is that Trumpism can be cured by exposing the participants to friendly voices from the other side, but the very structure of the cult is designed to reflexively reject such voices as unwitting participants of a huge anti-Trump conspiracy

- When you eliminate shame from the equation, Republicans will happily lie again & again to get what they want

- When truth & power are at cross-purposes, the GOP will always choose power

- Sunlight is not always the best disinfectant; it is merely the easiest
Read 4 tweets
4 Dec 20
I think more people should make the news rhyme
Sidney Powell made a filing
Said results were too suspicious
Votes for BIDEN... switched to TRUMP?
(The irony, it was delicious)
Biden won this past election
Donald Trump, he’s still desirous
People didn’t like the way he
Blew off the Coronavirus
Read 4 tweets