thinking about wtf Wen Chao thought he was doing with the indoctrination bureau because he was clearly making zero effort to keep anyone alive and: imagine an AU where no one made it out of Xuanwu cave like - what would all of the sects DONE!?
Like - Nie Huaisang wasn't on the hunt in CQL so he goes back home and NO ONE ELSE DOES because they're 'dead'. Wen Chao is all "wow so tragic how this powerful beast took out all the indoctrination disciples and sect heirs and only I was able to slay it after a long battle!!
I, for one, can't see anyone at Lotus Pier being like 🤷‍♀️ welp, nothing we can do here!

And while who knows what JGS might do on the cowardice/pride scale, I feel like Madame Jin might have Quite Some Things To Say About That
Nie Mingjue is pretty permanently Down To Fight (in general, but especially the Wens), regardless of NHS coming back home, and hey his bby bro is probably pretty upset from all that trauma and ALL HIS FRIENDS BEING DEAD (and maybe needing to sneak out to get home?)
And Lan sect at this point is probably generously twenty disciples of varying fighting capability and Lan Xichen.....but it has a Lan Xichen Who Has Nothing To Lose and has LOST HIS BELOVED BABY BROTHER, I personally would be very interested in contemplating what he'd be like
Just.....very interesting to contemplate 🤔🤔🤔🤔

OFC: i cannot emotionally handle Literally All The Youth dying and like that's #NoFun and also a significant reduction in team sunshot's fighting capabilities so: I'm going to lean in on my Fantastical Reality License
Everyone is NOT DEAD, but they are very delayed. See, the maple leaves showing the exit from the cave didn't come from a mountainside. It is the entrance to the LARGEST CAVE EVER (think: Sơn Đoòng cave), complete with trees, pheasants, and water.

Perfectly livable...but trapped Large natural cave with ste...Large natural cave with ste...
If they had swords still, they could pretty easily fly out of the two giant sinkholes letting in light up at the top, but they don't & they're all exhausted and some are injured and have some decisions to make. Are they actually trapped? How big IS it (5miles+)? What do they do??
So now you have: WWX+LWJ fighting the Xuanwu and waiting for rescue, JC+JZX+MianMian and assorted disciples in Cave Survival with some tough choices and team work.... and some ANGRY sects who think they've lost their heirs and disciples due to the Wens & their own inaction 😈
1) WWX+LWJ get rescued much sooner bc Team Cave come back bc might as well grab them, they're stuck and we're stuck so hey might as well be stuck together! The Xuanwu is dead by this point so it takes some digging and WWX is not doing so hot, but now we're all Team Cave together
2) Team Cave is a hilarious comedy of survival horror and I'd read an entire fic centered only on that lbr. CAN YOU IMAGINE?????

I can, it would be reality TV worthy in the way fanfic has lead me to understand Naked and Afraid or similar is and i would just sit there 🍿🍿🍿
So many arguments! What's the best way to get food - do we spend our time hunting, fishing or eating Dubious Fruits? Do we look for exits or try to climb out or...build our way out??? Talismans??? WWX has a spooky screaming sword and needs medical attention so fun challenge there
who isn't doing their fair share of the work? what is the best way to build the fire? Why is everything so terrible?

and most importantly: whose fault is it that we're in this mess!!??!??

I foresee people stomping off to sulk and fume in their own patch of forest on the regular
JC and JZX butting heads on principle but getting along really well, actually! JC being REAL angry at LWJ because his brother is sick & all that worry transmutes to yeling ITS YOUR FAULT HE GOT INJURED FOR YOU!! LWJ is at the absolute end of his tether and just wants to be Home
3) Team Cave makes it out like 3 months later, leaner, angrier, & with pretty good teamwork purely focused on Fucking Wen Shit Up (the 'whose fault' argument was finally settled with "Wen Chao" to avoid bloodshed) and then shit gets R E A L bc they're behind enemy lines + 'dead'

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with Grandmaster of Spiteful Cultivation

Grandmaster of Spiteful Cultivation Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @CultivateSpite

Sep 6, 2021
Accidental Batman ZZS is such a funny concept to play with. He's not trying to be anything, he just has insomnia, a fondness for long walks at night, & an unholy mix of curiousity, combat training, and a death wish
1) ZZS is recently 'forcibly retired' from his job which did extra-legal services for a combined like, medical research + hospital that funded its early years & charity services through well, ZZS's team. Now that it's got a steady income, it cleaned up it's image & income stream
2) 'forcible retirement' includes a massive payout, hella NDA and a giant resume gap and a sudden void of things to do or goals for ZZS. He's tired all day and doesn't sleep at night. He's Fine!!
Read 32 tweets
Jun 15, 2021
Please consider #WordOfHonor AU where Zhou Zishu runs into Bureau of the Unfaithful pre-canon and accidentally teams up with them out of "fuckit, may as well" energy.

just bear with me: ZZS intervenes in a guy being a Huge Fucking Asshole (bc he's interfering w/his drinking)
Beauty Ghost was on her way to pick up HFAssole bc he was on her list of dudes to collect for the next funeral marriage and ZZS clocks her as using disguise techniques from 4seasons manor and is like "unfortunately, my only weakness: a mystery about my old sect"
There's a brief verbal non-confrontation bc these two are currently in disguise master mode, which results in ZZS tailing Beauty Ghost back to the Luo manor and just...aggressively spying bc again, this dude has not met a mystery he could actually just leave be
Read 7 tweets
Jun 10, 2021
animal transformation fic in #WordOfHonor would be hilarious in every variation. in order to leave window of heaven you have to be transformed into an animal? wen kexing randomly transforms into a tiny kitten uncontrollably? chengling is transformed into a songbird!
Zhou Zishu leaves window of heaven and the magic takes hold as it does for every operative - animals tell no tales. But he invented it and keeps his human mind and ability to speak and sets out to wander the world, truly free of human concerns, exploring feline wine tolerance ImageImageImageImage
Chengling, his suspiciously fluffy "pet" cat who laps wine out of dishes instead of water and absolutely definitely doesn't talk no matter what wen kexing thinks, and absolute hijinks throughout jianghu
Read 145 tweets
Sep 9, 2020
just reminded myself of idea of "wen ning, secret and accidental romance novel writer of the burial mounds" from a while back and started laughing again
Wen Ning, who doesn't sleep and has a very active fantasy life for all the people around him with Doomed Romances going on that he imagines various other worlds and scenarios where everyone could end up happy to combat the gloom and encroaching howling of the resentful energy
Wen Ning accidentally writing down RPF-with-the-serial-numbers-filed off on the backs of Wei Wuxians failed talisman drafts which frequently feature an grasping and corrupted sect dressed in gold and quite a few tender scenes where a sweet younger brother watches his sister marry
Read 12 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Don't want to be a Premium member but still want to support us?

Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal

Or Donate anonymously using crypto!

Ethereum

0xfe58350B80634f60Fa6Dc149a72b4DFbc17D341E copy

Bitcoin

3ATGMxNzCUFzxpMCHL5sWSt4DVtS8UqXpi copy

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us!

:(