Thread by @geowtf

TFW you just remembered that you have 288 graham crackers. 😋

287

286

285

283… was too busy eating to uptweet for 284. Is life will not be forgotten, though.

280.51

Ok, we'll hold at 280. More updates soon.

279

278

277

276

Oh shit I think I may have miscounted. Only three left in this package. Welp, we'll call this a rounding error. 275

274

273

272

256. Somebody was concerned yesterday that I might be a bit depressed. Could a depressed person do this?

255

254

253

252

251

250. Watching live reading of The Princess Bride. Tune in. wisdems.brand.live/c/princess-bri…

249

248

247

246

245

244

243

252

251. #PrincessBrideReunion is so great.

250. This is fine living right here.

249

248

247

246

Oh, I suffered a copy error at 242 above. This should be 236. Delicious progress.

241. More breakfast granola and yogurt dipping this morning.

238. If you've never used graham crackers as tortilla chips for sweet dips, your should.

237. It's not so much that I can't sleep, it's that I have not yet decided to try.

236. Late night internets are not bad internets. Check up on what Australia is doin'. Wonder why everyone else is up.

235. Graham crackers are the best part, though.

234. These tweets tend to come in eights, because graham crackers do too.

233. If it weren't so dark I'd try posting to Instagraham.

232. So I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm sorta between books at the moment.

231. Just finished this Culture series book one. Was not a fan. For sci-fi I am always disappointed to find that I'm not reading Accelerando.

230. Eight down. That ought to give me the quick energy I need to go to sleep. 👍

226. More dips, this time in oatmeal.

224. Had to scoop and eat some leftover oatmeal.

214. Pour one out. Or ten.

213

212

211

210

209

208

207

206

205. Stopped on a hike for a snack.

204. It's an ocean-side hike.

203. It's foggy today in the golden gate.

202. Pictured: fog; not pictured: ocean

201. Oh you can technically see the bridge, between the fog layer and the mist above.

200. The best part of this view? The graham crackers.

199. You can hear a couple of boats down in that fog, echo-locating to each other with their horns.

198. @KarlTheFog you do good work, Karl.

197. Worried I forgot, didn't you.

196. Nope. Just biding my time. Savoring the moment I would open box 2/5.

195. They're just as good as they were in box 1.

194. Or maybe better.

192. You can eat them two at a time, like an empty little grahamwich.

… although somehow the crumbs are worse, and you have to brush them out of your chest hair.

191. Anyway, I am living my best life.

190
.
.
.
.
.
yup

198. Using them to scoop ice cream.

188. Typo'ed the last one. Because of so much delicious.

187. It's very chocolate ice cream, so this is basically s'mores.

186. Almost out of ice cream. This is the hotdog and bun packages problem all over again. Oh the humanity.

176 …so that happened.

TFW you're double-checking your grahamathamatics, because you're not convinced you've eaten so many graham crackers already.

Math checks out. Let this be an example to the children: persistence pays off. Yes, you can truly achieve anything if you put your mind to it.

175. Using them as oatmeal spoons again. No pictures this time, as we made ugly oatmeal.

174. It does slow down eating, to tweet between.

173. This is an exercise in mindful eating.

172. A tasty exercise. I really savor each tasty bite of grahamy fruity oatness.

171. An ode to graham crackers.

170.

169. Nice.

168. Oops. Well I guess that's the ode then. Pretty short. Lasted about as long as graham crackers do.

167. D&D was canceled tonight, so no one has to listen to me chew these into a mic.

166. I like to think of this thread as my own little fireside chat.

165. But, you know, made with real honey.

164. So... how was everyone's day?

163. Oh, my day? Fine. Unremarkable. Typing, then angry scrolling, then bed; repeat.

162.

161. Maybe I need a hobby.

160. I mean, aside from graham crackers.

159. So, some news has dropped since I last grahamed.

158. What a year October has been so far.

157. Listening to @waitwait this morning. It is also delicious.

156. Considering dips for the day…

155. Peanut butter?

154. Nutella?

153. Jalapeño jam?

152. D, All of the above.

151. Having tea and grahams with friend on Zoom

150. Chatting about the news. There's a lot to discuss.

149. Graham crackers never get old. Unlike the news.

148. Now we're talking about uses of graham crackers. Cheesecake came up. Hmm 🤔

147. Now we're taking about washing food processors. But I'm still thinking about cheesecake.

146. I wonder if I could rail graham cracker powder, if there was some left over from a cheesecake crust…

145. Now we're talking about how bad COVID numbers are in the intermountain west. 🙁

144. 🙁

143. Dinner of champions

142. With peanut butter. Because I am an American, and we like that sort of thing.

141. So I watched an hour of the VP debate. The first presidential debat has changed my standards.

140. This was a staid affair. Quiet. Mellow. Pence sounded like if those cans of spring snakes were instead filled with politico jargon.

139. "Job creators" "tax and spend" "radical left" I should have played bingo.

138. Kampala was fine but I did not catch a bussing moment.

137. I dunno. Hopefully I missed the best part.

136. I vote for graham crackers (and also for science and empathy and justice)

135.

134. You can't have just one.

133. Or just two.

132. Ok I know the drill. I should have expected this when I opened a package just for one that it wouldn't stop there. Couldn't stop there.

131. Good morning.

130. Hope you slept well.

129. I awoke in the middle of the night angry about the judiciary. Scrolled Twitter. Should've just had some grahams.

128. Or perhaps moved to Florida, with a thousand of my closest friends, years ago. That might've helped. Twitter, sadly, will not.

127. That's 2^7 - 2^0 for my silicon-based friends.

126. Today, as every day, I am grateful for graham crackers.

125. They're delicious. And nutritious (by which I mean caloric). And they're rigid squares, so they're structurally superior to other small baked sweets.

124. What are you thankful for today? About graham crackers, I mean.

123. Work hard, graham hard.

122. A little pre-lunch snacking.

121. More than a little pre-lunch snacking.

120. A little post-lunch snacking.

119. A little weekend snacking.

118. Thinking about small apartment improvements. It's a hobby horse think for me.

117. Maybe curtains. Or more vertical fabrics, anyway, for fun color and texture.

116. Now we're discussing a fabric foot rest blob thing.

115. Good ponders for a snack.

114. Maybe too good. I'm horfing these down.

113. Horf.

112. horf.

111. When you're working frightfully late, nothing satisfies like a graham.

110. Or few

109. Gotta keep energized.

108. Energised... for capitalism. yay.

107. Without working late, how could I afford the little luxuries like grahams that help me when I'm working late?

106. It must be nice to be capital. *dreamy sigh*

105. I am kinda jealous.

104. But I don't think the 1% will eat any more graham crackers in their lifetimes than I will. At some point, more money brings no benefit. They're grahamed-out. Billionaires have surpassed maximum graham, where further income has zero marginal graham.

Billionaires are grahamatically incorrect.

103. Playing a Cthulhu-horror ttrpg this evening. Having a graham break after my character was sedated to stop her from murdering another PC in hysterics.

102. Now the party is discussing what to do with me.

101. My character had to be restrained by a pet boa constrictor. That did not help her hysterics.

100. Well, some relationships changed, but we're all back at it, despite the unpleasantness.

99. The anxiety that comes from brain melting horror pairs well with grahams.

98. No one believes my character when she describes the horrors she witnessed in the corn fields. Now it's just a coat closet. *munch munch*

97. Perhaps the horrors will find them. 🙃

96. *munch munch*

95. You know what goes well with stress? Eating.

94. Pairing butterflies with grahams in my stomach.

93. That honeyed fullness counteracting that dreaded hole.

92. The reminder that one can make choices, even so banal of choices as what snack to eat.

91. And how many to eat.

90. And what to say as you livetweet it.

89. Or to say nothing.

88.

87. What's the German word for this looming dread?

80. That. The German word for the 8-graham-cracker dread.

79. You know what the best part of Hades is?

78. The grahams.

77. And also, everything else.

76. Now, I don't like *hard* games. But this one is, like, good hard? The difficulty doesn't stop me from experiencing the story. They're orthogonal. (Tho I've yet to escape hades.)

75. And the story is great!

74. I'd share screenshots but spoilers but it's real great.

73. Also the music. Can't screenshot that.

72. And the story behind the music. And the weapons. The story behind the weapons. And the powers. And the story behind the powers. And and and…

71. You know that expression, "midnight snack"?

70. Seems kinda limiting, doesn't it?

69. ...Nice.

68. I mean, it's midnight somewhere.

67. This is my midnight on Midway island snack.

66. Or perhaps this is my midnight tomorrow in New Zealand snack.

65. These can both be true thanks to daylight savings time and the wacky discontinuity of the International Date Line.

64. This snacking is a subtweet of every line of code I've seen that assumes `yesterday = today - 86,400 seconds`. 😭

63. There comes a moment after a stretch of time off, when you're finally relaxed and contended and life is alright actually, and that moment is inevitably Sunday afternoon right before you return to work.

62. I know what you're thinking … it's been so long you thought I forgot about grahams. Well it's a food holiday, and friends, nothing completes that like @HoneyMaidSnacks

61. Full disclosure, this Twitter thread was unsponsored. I purchased my grahams myself, though anonymous buyers (me), so I could create this fair unbiased love fest for graham crackers.

60. I hope everyone else has has a nice weekend, holiday or no.

59. It's a good time of year to be thankful for grahams, and for those essential workers in the graham supply chain: those true humanitarians who did not require the Defense Production Act to meet the increased global demands for covid comfort calories.

58. I'd pour one out, but that waste would dishonor their hard work. Better eat it instead.

57. In other news, Zoom get togethers are easier to clean up after, and easier to get a bit of space from for the socially overwhelmed.

56. Altogether, it was a nice break.

55. I started a game of civilization last week, which necessarily means now I've been playing almost all weekend and I still haven't finished.

54. It was close there for a while. But now we're in the modern era and it turns out all three of my AI opponents are fighting over a religious victory.

53. It's like three people stuck in a revolving door together, each refusing to get out so the others may pass. Meanwhile I'm just taking this side door?

62. Finally got tired of some of their sit and declared a war. That was a mistake though. Brought me down to their level.

71. This is fine though. I'm using randomized tech trees and I got Giant Death Robots super early. 🤖

70. Switching governments to Synthetic Technocracy is satisfying. Not as satisfying as grahams. But close.

69. The war started because they captured my spy and demanded ransom. Peace prevailed but now they caught another spy… 😓

68. This game takes _forever _.

67. Some Fridays, you're pretty glad it's a Friday.

66. Other Fridays, you wish it were Wednesday.

65. You wish you could get back a couple of days you spent on some dumb crap, while your real work got later.

64. You think if only you could get back the time it took to learn something you never wanted to know.

63. But that's life, you know?

62. You learn lessons after you need them. You move forward in imperfection.

61. Maybe you learn to live in the house you've built.

60. Or maybe you tear it down so you can build something better.

Full transparency: after a public audit, my grahamathamatics have been found to be off substantially. A hand recount reveals that I have 8*5=40 graham crackers left. 😮

Thanks @ThatOneGM

https://twitter.com/thatonegm/status/1337404732063838209?s=21

39. Working on the weekend. Grahams make it just a touch sweeter.

38. Maybe sweeter isn't the right word.

37. They are a nice distraction though.

36. Grahams are brain food.

🧠🍽

…well no that looks like brain food, not brain food. Eww.

35. Grahams are all-day food.

34. All day food for all day work 😐

33. Off with the working weekend, on with the working week.

32. Leaving some grahams of an 8-graham-pack behind ensures a soggy treat sometime later on, like now.

31. Friday night, and the feeling's right... for grahams.

30. Feeling's still right.

29. It is a very Friday Friday night.

28. What is it about the dead of winter that makes you yearn for a weekend, even when you move to California and the winter is just pants weather.

27. What is it about grahams that make them go down so easy?

26. They're smooth and easy, like cheap domestic beer.

25. And yet they have depth an feeling of a hoppy golden ale, an unfiltered whit beer, or a Belgian white maybe.

24. And then, like any beer, you're sad they're gone.

23. Bet y'all think I forgot about you, didn't you?

22. 2021 has been a hell of a week, eh?

21. Hope y'all are well. I've got good news about grahams: they're still good.

20. Do you ever feel like outside events are so very large and you are so very small?

19. It's an endless storm in a sea of news, dashing one to and fro.

18. let grahams be your anchor, your rudder, and your sail.

17. Let them be your light through the darkness.

16. The wind beneath your wings.

15. I have never been so into an inauguration.

14. Watching live over a breakfast bowl with grahams for dippin.

13. We all saved up our New Years celebrating for today, didn't we?

12. This is truly a delicious time. There's a lot for us to chew through ahead, but we should savor the sweet moments when we have them.

11. It's an ok day to be an American. 🇺🇸 It feels like it's been a while. There's a long road ahead, but we're moving ahead. Together.

10. It's nice to be on the east coast: I get three more hours to celebrate today.

*west coast (best coast)

9. Listening to some awesome @cspan callers. One of my favorite feature of our (my?) government is it's subsidized and neutral national call-in show. Quality American times, with many international viewers/callers this morning.

8. I love people. I love us. We are worth loving.

I can't do it. I'm not ready for this era of my life to be over.

7. Sometimes, things just end.

6. All good things must come to an end. Bad and mediocre and other things too.

5. It's a necessary part of life; making way for something new. We all know that.

4. But that doesn't make an ending easy. We grow attached, and the inevitable break still hurts us.

3. There will be other grahams, but these were my own. They will live on within me.

2. Fare well with your own losses, my dear reader. But mourn. Don't let your own grahams pass unremembered from this life into the next. Cherish them. Cherish the time you had.

1. And now I ask for a moment of silence for the grahams today, and for those that have gone before.

0.

@threadreaderapp unroll