Criminally underused old words:

7. Poop-noddy (a fool)
6. Fribbler (a commitment-phobe)
5. Gongoozle (to stare at a canal)
4. Mubble-fubbles (depression)
3. Vampirarchy (like the patriarchy, but with vampires)
2. Gong-hole (toilet)
1. Unbepissed (not yet soaked with urine)
Some unbelievably tremendous old words:

7. Betrump (to cheat and deceive)
6. Geolucrog (orange)
5. Jingle-boy (a rich man)
4. Mumpsimus (a bigoted opponent of reform)
3. Peacockize (strutting and posing)
2. Blatteration (foolish talk)
1. Orgiophant (one who presides over orgies)
Yet more useful old words:

7. Whangdoodle (a ranter)
6. Grinagog (someone who's constantly grinning)
5. Flosculations (embellishments)
4. Quibbleism (the act of quibbling)
3. Boreism (the condition of being a bore)
2. Fadoodle (nonsense)
1. Slubberdegullion (a worthless wretch)
Final list (for now) of important old words:

7. Snudging (pacing about pretending to be busy)
6. Beazled (exhausted)
5. All-overish (unwell everywhere)
4. Namelings (people with same name)
3. Happify (to make happy)
2. Uglyography (bad handwriting)
1. Wonder-wench (pretty woman)

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More from @AdamCSharp

16 Dec 19
New meanings for existing words:

7. Minimum (a tiny mother)
6. Out of bounds (an exhausted kangaroo)
5. Whisky (a bit like a whisk)
4. Willy-nilly (impotent)
3. Avoidable (what a matador tries to do)
2. Heroes (what a guy in a boat does)
1. Cowards (in the direction of a cow)
Daffynitions, Part 2:

7. Scholarship (a boat full of smart people)
6. Copyright (to successfully cheat in exam)
5. Knickers (people that steal)
4. Lobsters (people that throws things)
3. Nomad (not angry)
2. Goblet (a tiny mouth)
1. Grapple (the child of a grape and an apple)
Daffynitions, Part 3:

7. Cherish (a bit like a chair)
6. Perish (a bit like a pear)
5. Thinking (a monarch on a diet)
4. Mambo (the mother of Rambo)
3. Octopus (an eight-sided cat)
2. Pirate (a furious pie)
1. Brouhaha (a very funny cup of tea)
Read 9 tweets
30 Sep 19
Fun alternatives for existing words:

8. Disco chicken (peacock)
7. Food weapons (cutlery)
6. Berry fucker (blender)
5. Lego finders (feet)
4. A farm clock (rooster)
3. Milk racist (lactose intolerant)
2. Domesticated rocks (bricks)
1. Prison donkey (zebra)
Fun alternatives for existing words, part 2:

8. Woodland corgi (fox)
7. Stagger juice (tequila)
6. Booby traps (bras)
5. Bread wetter (butter)
4. Food library (fridge)
3. Horse tornado (carousel)
2. Boot spoon (shoehorn)
1. American murder log (alligator)
Fun alternatives for existing words, part 3:

8. Trash pandas (racoons)
7. Beach geese (seagulls)
6. Parkour commas (apostrophes)
5. Flower shower (watering can)
4. Puddle shoes (wellies)
3. Brolly hop (parachute jump)
2. Maybe baby (missed period)
1. Ovary actions (period)
Read 8 tweets
8 Jul 19
Sorely missed Regency slang:

8. Dicked in the knob (crazy)
7. The apple dumplin shop (breasts)
6. Lapping your congo (drinking tea)
5. The mulligrubs (a sad)
4. Potato trap (mouth)
3. Malty (drunk)
2. Dance the blanket hornpipe (sex)
1. My arse on a bandbox (like hell I will)

8. Dash my buttons (what fresh hell is this)
7. Belly timber (food)
6. Cow juice (milk)
5. To piss down his back (to flatter him)
4. Cucumberish (poor)
3. Gooseberry grinder (bum)
2. Cockshut time (the evening)
1. That happened in the reign of King Dick (an unlikely tale)

8. To cut a bosh (well-dressed)
7. Strike me moral (wtf)
6. Cupid’s coal-hole (lady bits)
5. Gaying instrument (penis)
4. Munster plums (potatoes)
3. Haberdasher of pronouns (teacher)
2. Dog’s soup (rain)
1. Save your breath to cool your porridge (pipe down, asswipe)
Read 8 tweets
25 Jun 19
Sorely missed Victorian slang:

8. Gigglemug (always smiling)
7. Bitch the pot (pour the tea)
6. Got the morbs (temporary sadness)
5. Tight as a boiled owl (drunk)
4. Poked up (embarrassed)
3. Sauce-box (the mouth)
2. Cupid’s kettle drums (breasts)
1. Not up to dick (unwell)
Victorian slang with Gen Z definitions:

8. Afternoonified (fleek)
7. Chuckaboo (BFF/fam)
6. Off your chump (cray-cray)
5. Dash my wig (OMG)
4. Mutton shunter (po-po)
3. Skilamalink (sus)
2. Nanty-narking (crine/dead)
1. Shoot into the brown (taking the L)
That last list with normal definitions:

8. Afternoonified (smart)
7. Chuckaboo (close friend)
6. Off your chump (unhinged)
5. Dash my wig (surprised)
4. Mutton shunter (police)
3. Skilamalink (suspicious)
2. Nanty-narking (having a good time)
1. Shoot into the brown (to fail)
Read 8 tweets

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