1. Writer
2. Obsessed with lists
3. COMMON PEOPLE
4. THE CORRECT ORDER OF BISCUITS
5. THE WHEEL IS SPINNING BUT THE HAMSTER IS DEAD (https://t.co/xahvo4CqJT)
Jun 10 • 17 tweets • 3 min read
In English, brushing strands of hair over a bald spot is called a combover, but in Mandarin you could describe it with the phrase 地方支持中央. It means “the localities support the central government”
Read on for more international phrases about hair and hairstyles (a thread)…
A French phrase for a combover is amener la banlieue en centre-ville. It means “bringing the suburbs to the town centre”
Apr 1 • 23 tweets • 3 min read
This is a thread of my all-time favourite literal translations, starting with this one…
In Hungarian, the word for a shark, hiszékeny, translates literally to “sea bastard”
In isiZulu, the word for tears, ukukhohliseka, translates literally to “drama water”
Mar 17 • 8 tweets • 2 min read
Allow me to regale / regael you with some Irish names for animals…
5. Ladybird = bóín Dé or “God’s little cow” 4. Otter = madra uisce or “sea dog” 3. Bat = amadáinín or “little fool” 2. Jellyfish = smugairle róin or “seal snot” 1. Hedgehog = gráinneog or “horrible little thing”
A few more of my favourite Irish translations…
5. Escalator = staighre beo or “living stairs” 4. Squid = mathair shúigh or “suckmother” 3. Owl = scréachóg reilige or “graveyard screecher” 2. Daisy = nóinín or “little noon one” 1. Sea anemone = cíoch charraige or “rock boob”
Mar 11 • 33 tweets • 9 min read
Better names for existing things, number 1…
DISCO CHICKEN
Better names for existing things, number 2…
PRISON DONKEY
Mar 1 • 12 tweets • 2 min read
A thread of my favourite Welsh words and phrases for #StDavidsDay, starting with this…
A Welsh version of the phrase “that’s like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted” is paid ȃ chodi pais ar ôl piso It means “no point lifting your petticoat after pissing”
A Welsh way of saying something is not right (or “I smell a rat”) is mae rhyw ddrwg yn y caws. It means “there’s some badness in the cheese”
Jan 29 • 25 tweets • 2 min read
This a thread of title ideas for celebrity biographies or memoirs, starting with this one…
WHERE THERE’S A WILL (Anne Hathaway)
Ideas for titles of celebrity biographies/memoirs, number 2…
BIDEN: MY TIME (Joe Biden)
Jan 4 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
A list of name ideas for solo international tribute acts...
10. Miley Cyprus 9. Bolivia Rodrigo 8. Bob Mali 7. Sudan Boyle 6. Kenya West 5. Bruges Springsteen 4. Argentina Turner 3. France's Drake 2. Aussie Osbourne 1. Björkshire
If the international tribute acts are allowed to use mythical place names, then I'd have to find room in the list for Atlantis Morissette
Dec 31, 2023 • 6 tweets • 2 min read
Old slang for being drunk (and first noted use)
8. Full to the bow tie (1959) 7. Whittled as a penguin (1906) 6. Plum full of bug juice (1894) 5. Tight as a boiled owl (1880) 4. Malty (1811) 3. Coming home by the villages (1770) 2. Drunk as a wheelbarrow (1675) 1. Bumpsy (1611)
Interesting fact about drunkenness... In ancient Persia all important debates took place with everyone drunk and then again with everyone sober, or vice versa (because an idea wasn’t considered credible unless it sounded good in both states)
Dec 28, 2023 • 33 tweets • 2 min read
When lawyers are no longer allowed to practise, they are disbarred. And when priests are stripped of their position, they are defrocked. This is a thread of suggestions for terms for other professions, starting with this one…
When florists are sacked, they are deflowered
When roadies are sacked, they are disconcerted
Dec 22, 2023 • 21 tweets • 3 min read
The Dutch word for a horse breeder is paardenfokker, which gave us this joke…
JFK: What do you do?
Dutchman: I fok horses
JFK: Pardon?
Dutchman: Yes paarden
Read on for more terrible multilingual jokes (a thread)…
INTERROGATOR: Tell me who told you about our Dutch national holidays
ME: You mean my Holland days source?
Dec 20, 2023 • 18 tweets • 4 min read
My favourite way of saying “zero fucks given” is from Greek slang and it goes στον πούτσο μου λουλούδια και γύρω γύρω μέλισσες. It means “flowers on my dick and bees all around”
Read on for more cosmopolitan ways of saying you just don’t care (a thread)...
Some other versions of “I don’t give two hoots” from Greek slang are as follows…
🦜 A big heartbreak and ten parrots
😿 I’ll have my cat cry over this
💩 The mare had a bowel movement in the prairie
Dec 18, 2023 • 15 tweets • 3 min read
This is a thread of international phrases describing a place that’s in the middle of nowhere, starting with this one…
In Venezuelan Spanish, a place in the back of beyond can be described as donde el Diablo perdió los calzoncillos. It means “where the Devil lost his underpants”
Another Venezuelan phrase is donde Cristo perdió el tetero, which means “where Jesus lost his baby bottle.” Other Spanish variants have Jesus losing his flip-flops or his lighter, Napoleon losing his hat, and the Devil losing his poncho. I also love “where the wind arrives tired”
Dec 1, 2023 • 19 tweets • 3 min read
In Icelandic, someone with a sweet tooth can be referred to as a nammigrís. It means “candy piglet”
* read on for more Icelandic words and phrases (a thread to celebrate Fullveldisdagurinn, Iceland’s Sovereignty Day)…
The Icelandic word for television is sjónvarp, which means something like "vision throw" or "vision thrower." And the word for computer, tölva, means "prophetess of numbers" or "number witch"
A list of names for Joe Bloggses (just normal men) in other languages
7. Joe Little Carrot (Slovak) 6. Average Svensson (Swedish) 5. Wang Number Five (Mandarin) 4. Otto Normalconsumer (German) 3. Name Nameson (Danish) 2. Mid-range Vasya (Russian) 1. Statistical Kowalski (Polish)
For those who would like the names in their original languages...
In German, if you forget the name of something, you wouldn’t say pass me that whatchamacallit or doodad. You’d instead call it a Dingsbums. Another fun German word (though more for bits and bobs) is Krimskrams
* Read on for more names for thingamajigs around the world (a thread)
A Dutch word for a thingum is Huppeldepup. It’s not only very fun to say aloud (HUPPELDEPUP!!), it’s also versatile as it can be used for either an unknown object (whatchamacallit) or, much more commonly, an unknown person (a whatsisface/whatsername)
Sep 28, 2023 • 21 tweets • 4 min read
A Spanish version of “in a while, crocodile” is me las piro, vampiro. It means “I’m outta here, vampire”
* read on for lots more rhyming farewells from around the world (a thread)…
In Chile, when a gathering is over and it’s time to leave you can say calabaza, calabaza, cada uno pa su casa. It means “pumpkin, pumpkin, everyone to their own home”
Sep 26, 2023 • 10 tweets • 2 min read
The most common French name for a bookworm is rat de bibliothèque, or “library rat”. However, my gran, who grew up in Ardes, would often refer to an avid reader as a buveur d’encre. It means “ink drinker”
* read on for more names for bookworms from around the world (a thread)...
One of the Danish words for a bookworm is læsehest, which means “reading horse”
* and on a related note, let me add that the Danish word for a bookseller is boghandler
Sep 19, 2023 • 7 tweets • 2 min read
My favourite Korean idiom is a version of “looking for a needle in a haystack” – 서울에 가서 김서방 찾기. It means “searching for a Mr. Kim in Seoul”
Read on for more Korean language titbits (a short thread)…
A Korean variant of “killing two birds with one stone” is 님도 보고 뽕도 따고. It means “she both picked mulberries and saw her lover”
Sep 11, 2023 • 13 tweets • 2 min read
To my shame I’ve never been in a book club, let alone set one up. But I have spent a lot of time thinking of potential names for one. This is a thread of the leading contenders, starting with these…
Page Against the Machine
Philip K. Dick Picks
Orwell-endowed
Prose Before Hoes
If it was a book club in a prison, I’d call it “Prose and Cons”
And if the club only discussed audiobooks, it could be called “Book Who’s Talking”
Aug 21, 2023 • 8 tweets • 1 min read
In 1990s Germany there was a trend of thinking up names for wimps, also known as Weicheiwörter (“soft egg words”). This is a thread of my favourites, starting with these…
