Part 2:
Which Biblical characters said these & to who?

1) Oya, bros- throw ya net for dis side...

2) Dem tell me say you get sense, I don confam am mysef!

3) I wan make you go marry runs geh!

4) You tink say dis bones fit live?

5) Whatever He tell una, make una jus do am!"
6) I know say na because of you God dey bless me

7) You neva suffer reach? Abeg jus curse God make you waka go!

8) As I jus throway the gold inside fire, na so dis calf jus commot!

9) If dem ask, na who I go say send me?"

10) Na your heart you suppose tear, no be ya cloth.
11) Mama, abeg- I no go leave you!

12) Chai! I no fit drink dis water o! Na de blood of de people wey go fetch am...

13) Madam, talk true: na dis amount una sell una land?

14) Oya- carry my stick, run go put am for de boy head!

15) Wetin consain me? Na me be him keeper?
16) You say you love me, you no fit tell me how you strong laidis. Wish kain yeye love be dat?

17) If to say una dey hear word, una for no sail comot & dis disaster for no happen!

18) Me sef I be prophet: na God tell me say make I carry you go my house go chop...
19) No be me call you, go lie down again.

20) "Wish kain nonsense be dis? I say make you curse dem, no bless you jus dey bless dem!
Mstcheeew!"

#PidginEnglishBible

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Oct 29
Some years ago, a friend called me from Lagos.
"Harry, I'll be coming to Abuja for a project I will be supervising (he's a Building Engineer). I'll be around for about 6 months. Can I stay with you, please?"

I was living alone in a 3 bedroom flat, it wasn't a problem for me...
So I agreed.
He came over a few days later & I gave him a room to stay.
He'd leave the house early in the morning to the site & return around 8pm.

After a month, he told me his wife would want to come over for a weekend.
Is it ok?
No problem, Bro: she's welcome to visit you...
She flew over on a Friday to return to Lagos Monday morning.
I had never met her before, so the husband introduced us when she landed.

She took over the kitchen & made us dinner that Friday evening.
She dished my meal in a plate & dished hers & her husband's together.
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Oct 29
This reminds me of a situation some years ago.
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He then asked a few of them to see me so the load on him would reduce.
So, I became an "Emergency Counsellor" that Sunday morning.

The 1st guy sat in front of me...
"What is the problem, Sir?"
He told me his story.

When he was done, I told him: "your problem is not a big deal, Sir. I'll give you a simple solution..."
He sat up, eager to hear the solution.
I told him, "Go read the Book of Galatians & let's talk on Wednesday!"

He was MIFFED!
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He got up & walked away to join the queue of those to see the Pastor.

Pastor was surprised to see him...
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Oct 25
"The lack of CRITICAL THINKING among citizens is scary..."

The average Nigerian is more about EMOTIONS than LOGIC.
We are wired to REACT first and THINK later.

Some days ago I asked a young lady: imagine you are newly married (no kids yet) just you & your husband at home...
And one Saturday morning, he tells you, "Babe, I want to go watch Arsenal play Chelsea by 4pm in my friend's house".

What will you do?
She replied, "I will be VERY ANGRY with him!"
I asked why.

Why should ANGER be an option?
He just voiced a desire: why should that bring ANGER?
She said, "I wouldn't want him to go: I'll want him to stay home and we enjoy each others company!"
Fine.
So, rather than get ANGRY, why don't you voice your own desire too?
Why not say, "Babe, please don't go: stay home with me!"

She kept quiet for a while.
Then she said:
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Aug 18
"Imagine all Nigerians relocate to the US & all Americans relocate to Nigeria... What do you think will happen in 10 years?"

Rev'd Sam Adeyemi @sam_adeyemi asked this rhetorical question in Church, @DaystarNG over 20 years ago.

There were several responses to the question...
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In 10 years, Nigeria would have become a much better place where things work, America would have become a worse place where things don't work anymore.

Rev'd Sam then said: "that tells you that THE MAN MAKES THE PLACE, THE PLACE DOESN'T MAKE THE MAN!"
He went on to explain:
Your EXTERNAL atmosphere will ALWAYS be at the level of your INTERNAL atmosphere.
You will ALWAYS raise or reduce your EXTERNAL atmosphere to the level of your INTERNAL atmosphere.

To BETTER or DESTROY your environment depends on your INTERNAL ATMOSPHERE!
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Aug 16
Social Media is a funny place.
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Anyone could invent a story, post it on Social Media & people would simply BELIEVE it!

No EVIDENCE.
No PROOF.
NO DATA!
Just mere WORDS.
And people (who you'd deem INTELLIGENT) would BELIEVE...
I remember when I was in the University, a classmate had a knack for telling us stories about happenings in the AFRC (Armed Forces Ruling Council, for the younger generation) Meetings.
He'd tell us, "As Babangida enter the Meeting, Abacha ask am, "Where you go yesterday?"...
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Na dat day Abacha decide say he go do coup, comot Babangida!"

When he told us these tales, we'd bombard him with QUESTIONS!
"How you KNOW? You dey there?!"
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Aug 15
Once upon a time, there was a Kingdom on this Planet with very interesting citizens.
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At some point, they decided to crown themselves a King.
They went through a rigorous process & shortlisted 4 men for the throne...
After a keenly contested battle, 1 was picked.
He was crowned King in a very Grand Ceremony.

As soon as he took over the reins of the Kingdom, he appointed his team of Chiefs, Captains & Leaders to help him rule over the people.

But with time, the people got disgruntled...
They didn't like his style of rulership.
They complained he wasn't as VISIONARY as they expected.

Dissenting voices developed among the people.
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