Part 2:
Which Biblical characters said these & to who?

1) Oya, bros- throw ya net for dis side...

2) Dem tell me say you get sense, I don confam am mysef!

3) I wan make you go marry runs geh!

4) You tink say dis bones fit live?

5) Whatever He tell una, make una jus do am!"
6) I know say na because of you God dey bless me

7) You neva suffer reach? Abeg jus curse God make you waka go!

8) As I jus throway the gold inside fire, na so dis calf jus commot!

9) If dem ask, na who I go say send me?"

10) Na your heart you suppose tear, no be ya cloth.
11) Mama, abeg- I no go leave you!

12) Chai! I no fit drink dis water o! Na de blood of de people wey go fetch am...

13) Madam, talk true: na dis amount una sell una land?

14) Oya- carry my stick, run go put am for de boy head!

15) Wetin consain me? Na me be him keeper?
16) You say you love me, you no fit tell me how you strong laidis. Wish kain yeye love be dat?

17) If to say una dey hear word, una for no sail comot & dis disaster for no happen!

18) Me sef I be prophet: na God tell me say make I carry you go my house go chop...
19) No be me call you, go lie down again.

20) "Wish kain nonsense be dis? I say make you curse dem, no bless you jus dey bless dem!
Mstcheeew!"

#PidginEnglishBible

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More from @harrydaniyan

Sep 8
I worked on a site in Abuja years ago.
An Okada guy would drop off his wife on the site with her food to sell to the workers in the morning & come pick her later in the day when she's done selling.

He would hug her before leaving after dropping her in the morning...
He'd hug her again before they both climb the Okada & head off.

With time, the site workers became his guys, looking out for his wife: nobody harassed or made a pass at her.

You could see they were a very happy & contented couple despite their low level in life...
I also have a mechanic at Gudu in Abuja.
There's a woman in the mechanic community there who sells food.

One day, I got there to see my mechanic buying food from her on credit & I jokingly said, "should I pay her from your workmanship?"

He laughed & replied, "she's my wife!"
Read 4 tweets
Aug 28
The RESTRAINER.

Many years ago, I sat in the car with my then girlfriend around 10pm.
I just drove her home after we hung out that day.
This was about 2 weeks before we got married.
We were just gisting, laughing & enjoying each other's company...

Then I asked her a question:
"Babe, if we ever get into a fight & you feel I have gone MAD & you can't reach me again, who do you think you can call to talk to me?
Who do you KNOW that no matter how MAD I get, I will ALWAYS listen to because of the RESPECT I have for him/her?"

She responded with a name...
She didn't even THINK about it: she just mentioned the name as soon as I asked.

Her response gladdened my heart: she KNEW I had a RESTRAINER.
She knew I was not a headless man who had no RESPECT for AUTHORITY.
She was comfortable knowing her man was under CONTROL...
Read 15 tweets
Jul 9
Bola Ahmed Tinubu was the Governor of Lagos State from 1999 to 2007.

From the time he left office, his next ambition was to become the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
It took him 16 years & 4 Election Cycles to get there.

He understood TIMES & SEASONS...
That IS wisdom, folks.

Now, look at Atiku Abubakar who had been running for the same office since 1992.
He has been on the Ballot several times, but he NEVER won it.

Why?
He does NOT understand TIMES & SEASONS!
That IS foolishness.

He lacks the capacity to THINK & STRATEGIZE!
Atiku Abubakar ALWAYS throws his hat in the Ring, crossing from one Party to another in search of a Presidential Ticket.

And whenever he gets it & is on the Ballot, he LOSES.

He WILL get the ADC Ticket in 2027.
But he WILL lose as he always does.

He is just too DESPERATE!
Read 12 tweets
Apr 19
I built an 11 unit Estate in Abuja in 2019 & needed electricity meters for the houses.
I went to see the MD of Abuja Electricity Distribution Company, Engineer Ernest a Zambian & he told me to talk to the AEDC Area Manager about it.
I did, he told me they had no meters available.
I called the MD & put it on speaker.
MD told him, "you KNOW we have over 20,000 meters in the store! Why do you folks keep telling customers we don't have metres???"

It was a Friday.
The MD told the Area Manager: "if that estate doesn't have meters by Monday, heads WILL roll!"
Monday, 9am I got to the site.
10 meters had been installed, they were on the 11th.
They begged me to wait for them to finish with it before calling their MD.

You wonder why the Zambian MD had more sense & was more easily accessible than the Nigerians under him...?
Read 4 tweets
Apr 3
The Accuser.
The Judge.
The Jury.
The Mob.
The Executioner.

SCENE ONE: Sokoto

The MOB accused her of BLASPHEMY.

The MOB became the JURY & found her GUILTY.

The JURY became the JUDGE & sentenced her to DEATH.

The JUDGE transformed into the Executioner & MURDERED her...
SCENE TWO: Uromi.

The Mob accused them of KIDNAPPING.

The MOB changed into the JURY & found them GUILTY.

The JURY changed into the JUDGE & sentenced them to DEATH.

The JUDGE transformed into the EXECUTIONER & MURDERED them...
SCENE THREE: ALUU.

The MOB accused them of ARMED ROBBERY.

The MOB changed into the JURY & found them GUILTY.

The JURY changed into the JUDGE & sentenced them to DEATH.

The JUDGE transformed into the Executioner & MURDERED them...
Read 7 tweets
Mar 21
Bola Tinubu is an interesting character.
He makes his detractors & opponents underestimate him on purpose.

He has this demeanour of a dour sleepy Man with half a brain, but he is FAR from that!
He is a very deep thinker & master strategist.
He always KNOWS what he's doing...
Do you remember the song, "hand dey shake, leg dey shake, Baba wey no well...🎵"?
The Opposition thought he was going senile!

When he presented the 2025 Budget to the National Assembly, he made a Freudian slip (or so we thought): he called them the 11th National Assembly...
I think today y'all should KNOW he was DELIBERATE! He ended his speech with, "That means you are ALL reelected!"

They gave him a standing ovation!
That man ALWAYS KNOWS what he is doing, folks.
Underestimate him at your peril!

He picked Femi Gbajabiamila as his COS...
Read 9 tweets

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