"Calm down! CALM DOWN!"
She was talking too fast, I couldn't understand her.
But I knew she was hurt.
And ANGRY!

She called me that evening, around 7pm.
From the background noise, I knew she was in traffic.
"Please park, let's talk", I advised.
"I'm not driving", she replied... "I'm in my car, in front of Cash & Carry".
I asked her to take a minute to calm down...

My mind went back a few months earlier when she got married to the love of her life.

When I saw her call, I had assumed she wanted to tell me she was pregnant or something...

"She said Africa is different because we are more fetish and diabolical than other continents
She said accepting Jesus and the Holy Spirit is not enough..."

I've heard this submission countless times.
And it's amazing how a lot of Christians believe this NONSENSE...

https://twitter.com/GbengaWemimo/status/1773044753606599167

There's a Nigerian Church that teaches "Sanctification" as a doctrine: when you get Born Again, you still need to be "sanctified" BEFORE you can be baptized in the Holy Spirit, they teach.

Yet, Cornelius & his household got baptized in the Holy Spirit BEFORE they got Born Again!

A couple got married.
After some years, things fell apart & the centre couldn't hold.
So they went to the Court to part ways legally.

Now, the pastor who joined them in Holy Matrimony heard & was aghast!
"No! I have NEVER joined a couple that got divorced! This won't happen!" He was more interested in his reputation as "The Pastor Who Joins Couples That Never Divorce" than the interest & feelings of the couple.

As far as he was concerned, "Stay married & keep my reputation intact!"
Even if the man was going through hell & the wife was running mad...

Many years ago, I read a book on relationships; "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.

Gary listed these Languages as:
*Quality Time.
*Acts of Service.
*Gifts.
*Words of Affirmation.
*Physical Touch.

He described each of these languages in detail.
Very interesting book... Gary explained that people would have better relationships with their spouses if they understood the language their spouses speak.

For example, if my spouse's Love Language is WORDS OF AFFIRMATION, I would be wasting my time buying her GIFTS, thinking I'm pleasing her...

Years ago when I worked in a Bank, one of the Marketers had a very hot exchange on her phone in the Office.

When she was done, one of her colleagues asked, "Who was that on the phone?"
She replied in a very loud & angry voice: "IS IT NOT THE IDIOT I MARRIED?"

Woah!!!
😳😳😳 Everybody was shocked!
She stormed out of the office & slammed the door.
That was sometime in 2006, 18 years ago.

She later reconciled with her husband & they moved on.
But as many of us as heard her call her husband an IDIOT didn't forget!

It became a joke in the office...
😊

K had an accident & was rushed to the hospital.
His friends rushed there just in time to see him wheeled into the theater for an emergency operation.

One of K's friend, B knew one of the Doctors in the hospital & he called him up.
Then they all started praying for K... The doctor went into the theater and came out after a few minutes.
He pulled B aside & shook his head.
"I'm not sure K will make it! It will take a miracle for him to survive this!"

B went to the others who were praying.
"What did the doctor say", they asked...

#1
Husband told his wife:
"Babe, I don't like you wearing jeans to Church, please."
Wife was indignant!
"Why? Can you give me ANY REASON why I shouldn't?"

Husband: I don't like it. That should be reason enough, no?

Wife: Abeg, abeg, abeg!! Don't cage me with your insecurities! 3 Sundays later, Pastor asked all Church Workers to wait behind for a meeting.
Husband was a Counsellor, Wife was an Usher.
Both attended the meeting.

Pastor: I want you Church Workers to stop wearing jeans to Church, please.

Wife stopped wearing jeans to Church.

A couple based in Ibadan had a White Garment "Apostle" they consult monthly for prayers & other spiritual matters.

After a while, the husband got transferred to Lagos, so he'd come over to Ibadan for weekends.
They still consulted the Apostle monthly as they usually do... On one of such weekend visits, the husband asked the wife they go consult the Apostle on an issue that came up at his work place.
The wife refused!

Why?
"I don't trust that man anymore", the wife responded.
Husband was curious!
What happened?
"Since you relocated to Lagos...

This story reminds me of 3 Whatsapp Groups I exited several years ago.

Group 1:
My classmates, FGC Sokoto, '79-84. One of us wanted to run for the Office of the Governor, Zamfara State.
He posted his posters on the group, asking for "support" (whatever that meant).

I posted...

https://twitter.com/GbengaWemimo/status/1723200865534685207

"Our colleague wants to be a Governor: I propose we fix a day & time to ask him to share his ideas with us.

What are his plans?
What would be the thrust of his administration?
What are his plans for the Zamfara girl child & the almajiri?
How would he increase IGR?"
Guess what?

Yesterday, I took a Bolt Ride from Arepo to Lekki
As I stood, waiting for the Car, I saw 2 young ladies hoping to get a ride to Lekki too, so I asked them to join me in the Bolt Ride.

The car pulled up a while later and we got in: they sat at the back, I sat in the front seat... We drove off.
I introduced myself: "I'm Haruna Daniels, an Architect: I'm working on a site in Arepo, going to Ajah to see my brother."

They also introduced themselves.
I told them I'm from Kebbi State: "Do you know where that is?"
No.

These ladies were in their early 20s...

Hope Uzodinma was 4th in the Gubernatorial Election in Imo State.
He went to court with DOCUMENTS to show he actually won.
After going through the DOCUMENTS, the court agreed with him.
And he was sworn in as the Governor of Imo State.

Now, where did he get these DOCUMENTS? He didn't get them from INEC.
He got them from his Party's Agents at the Polling Stations.
In every election, each Candidate is expected to have an Agent at every Polling Station.

These agents all sign on the result sheet and are given a copy, which is then posted on IREV...

I had a dicussion with an Obidient young man this morning.
I asked him, "Let's imagine for a moment that indeed, there's a Grand Conspiracy to take over Nigerian by an "Evil Cabal" and Bola Tinubu is the Grand Commander of this Cabal.

Now, he already has INEC in his bag... He also has the Nigerian Judiciary in the bag.
Chicago State University has fallen in line.
He has bought all ECOWAS Presidents with money and they made him the Chairman of the Body.
He also has members of his Cabal in America, doing his bidding in the American Judiciary...

I once entered a cab in Abuja.
The driver wasn't putting on his seat belt.
I asked him to.

"Oga, I no dey wear day tin!"
I asked why.
"I sabi one man wey wear am, Na him kill am!"

How so?
"He get accident, him car catch fire, seatbelt jam, him no fit commot am: na so he die!"

https://twitter.com/DGreatBundee/status/1702679980029686200

Ah!
So you know ONE MAN that DIED because he wore his seat belt?
"Yes!"
Ok, how many men do you know who were SAVED because they wore seat belts?
He kept quiet for a while...

"E go reach 10 ooo!"
Ah! So you know TEN MEN saved by seatbelt & you know ONE MAN killed by seat belt...

On getting to Akwanga on a road trip from Abuja to Jos, I noticed the road in front of the College of Education was blocked.
Are the students demonstrating? I wondered.

I walked towards the action spot & I saw some very angry men carrying boulders to block the road... There were 3 pickups in front, carrying tubers of yam, sacks of potatoes, vegetables, etc.
There were some women sitting with these foodstuff, shouting & cursing.

I also saw some VIO Officers who just stood there, watching the drama playing out before them...

The young man called me this morning.
He's breaking up with his fiancée, he said.
I've known them for 2 years, known him for 6.

She seemed a decent lady, so I was surprised why he would want to break off his relationship with someone I deem decent.
Did I appraise her wrongly? So I asked what happened.
His response shocked and surprised me!
And it has sent me thinking all morning...

"Uncle Harry, we usually spend Sundays together. I'd go pick her, we'd go to Church together. From Church, we'd go for lunch, go see a movie, just hang out all day...

Earlier this week, I intervened in 2 relationship cases between 2 young couples.

When I heard both, I had to wonder: what is it about women that make them have a propensity for self-destruction?
Why do they seem to enjoy causing trouble for themselves?

I don't get it... He's in Lagos, dating a lady in Port Harcourt.
They chat and video call everyday, travel to spend time with each other as often as they can.

So, a few weeks ago, he told her he'll be taking a week leave from work and come spend it in Port Harcourt.

About 30 years ago, I was under the ministration of Revd George Adeboye @georgeadegboye of Rhema Chapel at the Young Ministers' Retreat in Ilorin.

He gave us a graphic illustration to explain a spiritual phenomenon to us young men.

The ceiling fan in the Church Hall was on... He asked:
"Is there POWER inside the fan?"
We all responded there was POWER in it.
He asked how we knew.
"The blades are rotating, it's blowing air", we replied.

Then he switched off the fan and asked:
Is there POWER inside the fan now?
"No, there's no POWER", we replied...

So I'm on a site in Arepo.
I have workers all over the place: iron benders, carpenters, labourers, bricklayers, etc.

I stood by, watching the bricklayers work.
One of them called out to a labourer to bring him more mortar.
"Bring cement! Màálu!"
"Màálu"means COW in Yoruba... You can guess the bricklayer's tribe & the labourer's.

So I spoke in Yoruba, "Kílódé to fi pèé ní màálu?" (Why did you call him a cow?"

He replied, laughing: "Sir, màálu ni gbogbo àwon aboki!" (Sir, all Northerners are cows!)

I just smiled.
He had absolutely NO IDEA...

I gained admission to study Architecture in the University of Jos in 1984.
I got an Admission Letter from JAMB, informing & congratulating me on my admission.
I resumed in September, 3 months to my 16th birthday.

On getting to the Department of Architecture, I met a problem... The Registration Officer refused to register me.
He asked, "Have you paid your SAS dues (SAS: Society of Architecture Students)?"
I hadn't paid.
He goes, "I can't register you if you haven't paid your dues! You MUST pay the dues if you want to be registered!"

I laughed!

Sometime ago, I joined a Church WhatsApp Group of folks aged 40+.
I'm 54+, so I was qualified to join.

When I did, I asked, "WHAT ARE THE GROUND RULES?"
There was none.
"We're a group of MATURE CHRISTIANS, we shouldn't be held bound by rules & regulations like kids!"

Ok... Now one of us would drop a Daily Poll:
How do you unwind over the weekend?
A. watch movies.
B. Sleep.
C. Hang out with friends...

Or she'd ask:
What's your favorite Ice cream flavour?

A. Vanilla.
B. Strawberry.
C. Chocolate...

Now, I'm of the opinion that is rather CHILDISH...

I've been a Christian for over 35 years.
I became one on the 29th of November, 1987 in Jos.
All these years, I have come to realise one of the problems with the Nigerian brand of Christianity is the lack of understanding between New Testament CHRISTIANITY & Old Testament JUDAISM. A lot of Christians operate with a JUDAISM (Old Testament) Mindset.

There are a lot of differences: I'll try point out those that readily come to mind.

1/ The Church is NOT a Temple.
The Temple is a BUILDING.
The Church is NOT: it's the PEOPLE.

God dwelled IN the Temple...