Omar Bazza Profile picture
Sep 15, 2020 9 tweets 2 min read Read on X
[THREAD] Let's talk about whether it is possible to get into our own mental health issues if we help out someone who is struggling with their own mental health. This is something that people often wonder about. The answer is yes but there have to be certain conditions.
One of the main conditions is being the only caretaker. As you can imagine, it would be very overwhelming to have one person take care of the one struggling. It is too hard for the helper to have to deal with all of this on their own. This is why it is important to diversify.
The more people who are there to help out, the more they can rotate and take breaks so that not one person is too impacted at once. Another condition would be existing vulnerability. If someone is already vulnerable either biologically or because of stressors in their life,
being the helper to someone who is currently struggling with their mental health can be the stressor that pushes them towards an episode of depression or anxiety. When we look at most people's environment right now. There is a pandemic, anxiety is already naturally high.
It is easy to think that a new stressor can tip the situation towards further mental health issues. Some people reading this who may be going through their own mental health problems may read this and think that they won't get help from anyone because they want to protect them.
However, that's not the best case scenario either because withdrawing or not getting help would result in further deterioration of their mental health. The best thing to do is to diversify those who help us. Rather than having one person do it, it is important to have at least 3
Furthermore, it is important for both the helper and the one being helped to establish boundaries. Being available 24/7 is not realistic and can be stressful. One boundary can be that the helper is available for a few hours a day when they don't have other stressors such as work.
Also, it is important for the helper and the one being helped to both have a self-care routine. Self-care is the drain that allows our stressors to wash away. Without it, those stressors simply pile up to the point of unbearable. Our minds deserve rest and relaxation as well.
Finally, it is important to only give energy that we already have. If we are feeling drained, it puts us in a very vulnerable position that can be detrimental as well. Please consider these if you are the helper or the one who needs support. We need each other more than ever now.

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More from @bazzapower

Jan 25
[THREAD] let’s talk about people pleasing behaviours. This tendency for us to want to sacrifice our well-being for the benefit of others is deeply ingrained in us from a very young age, in a deliberate way. As adults, it can make it difficult to establish boundaries.
When we talk about people pleasing, it is to the point that saying the word “no” is so hard for us that we would rather suffer than displease someone even if we do not know them well. These behaviours are very much a control mechanism.
Even when we are young children, people around us tell us that our comfort zone doesn’t matter. Whether it is pressure to go “hugging” someone even though we don’t feel comfortable to our parents telling us that conforming is more important than feeling safe.
Read 11 tweets
Aug 2, 2022
[THREAD] let’s talk about perfectionism. It can be destructive and add even more to our existing depression and anxiety. It also impacts our self-esteem because perfection is a standard that cannot be achieved and therefore, we may feel in a constant state of failure.
Perfectionism is defined as the need to be perfect and feel that there is a perfection status that we can achieve. It can become a goal for everything we do from work, to our social life and relationships. We may try to control or tweak things constantly to achieve it.
Just as with most issues related to mental health, it has its roots in our childhood. We live in a culture that is highly comparative. We grew up listening to us being compared to others when it came to school, and how to be a “good” kid. These “others” were the perfection.
Read 18 tweets
Jul 29, 2022
[THREAD] Let’s talk about an important topic that is not discussed often: self soothing. It is how we regulate our emotions/provide ourselves with the support necessary when we are not well. This mechanism is often broken because of our caregivers but can be learned as adults.
Parts of self soothing behaviours can be more on the innate side. For example, infants using pacifiers, seeking caregivers, etc. as a way to regulate their emotions when they are under distress or when they need something. Communicating distress and soothing it starts from day 1.
However, shortly after infancy, that process is derailed, specifically in our cultures, where showing your emotions may not be encouraged. For example, there are many of us as kids who may have been punished more if we cried. We could not get angry with parents.
Read 19 tweets
Jul 19, 2022
[THREAD] I often get asked why it is important to process our emotions and our past because it can be such a painful process to dig up, live those memories again and feel that pain and grief. On the surface, it may seem counterproductive to dig up something asleep in our minds.
While it is true that processing emotions can be a painful process and one that is likely to create strong emotions that can be unpleasant, it is also the reason why it is important to dig them up and process them.
For emotions/traumas/losses that we have properly processed, we wouldn’t feel a sharp pain/these strong emotions all over again. We may feel a small amount of it but not the intense powerful ones. The reason why is simply because the processing didn’t happen in the past.
Read 18 tweets
Jul 6, 2022
[THREAD] Let’s talk about love bombing. I talked about it often in other threads related to relationships/manipulation but it deserves its own thread because it happens more often than we think. It may not always be done with nefarious intent but it leads to harm down the road.
In this situation, we will define love bombing as unsustainable levels of affection, validation and resources that is given very early on in the course of a friendship or relationship but cannot be sustained long term because it is too intense.
There are two reasons why that may happen. The first one is something we discussed in previous threads where it is done to make the other person develop feelings quickly and become dependent on us. At that point, the love bombing can stop and manipulation/abuse start.
Read 20 tweets
Jun 16, 2022
TW: manipulation/partner abuse
[THREAD] While going over my notes for cases in the last year, I noticed a disturbing trend. There are many cases where, intentionally, the guy (mostly) pretends to be open minded/ally as a way to create love then become abusive.
It usually starts with love bombing, aligning their goals with the person they are pursuing, making sure to mention that they are different from other guys. They are not looking for traditional values that many women don’t want anymore. The first few months are usually perfect.
They are romantic, attentive, validating, and offer something closely resembling unconditional love. They escalate the relationship to “serious” status as soon as they can. Once the other person is in love with this “perfect” relationship, changes are usually drastic.
Read 13 tweets

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