[THREAD] let’s talk about people pleasing behaviours. This tendency for us to want to sacrifice our well-being for the benefit of others is deeply ingrained in us from a very young age, in a deliberate way. As adults, it can make it difficult to establish boundaries. When we talk about people pleasing, it is to the point that saying the word “no” is so hard for us that we would rather suffer than displease someone even if we do not know them well. These behaviours are very much a control mechanism.

[THREAD] let’s talk about perfectionism. It can be destructive and add even more to our existing depression and anxiety. It also impacts our self-esteem because perfection is a standard that cannot be achieved and therefore, we may feel in a constant state of failure. Perfectionism is defined as the need to be perfect and feel that there is a perfection status that we can achieve. It can become a goal for everything we do from work, to our social life and relationships. We may try to control or tweak things constantly to achieve it.

[THREAD] Let’s talk about an important topic that is not discussed often: self soothing. It is how we regulate our emotions/provide ourselves with the support necessary when we are not well. This mechanism is often broken because of our caregivers but can be learned as adults. Parts of self soothing behaviours can be more on the innate side. For example, infants using pacifiers, seeking caregivers, etc. as a way to regulate their emotions when they are under distress or when they need something. Communicating distress and soothing it starts from day 1.

[THREAD] I often get asked why it is important to process our emotions and our past because it can be such a painful process to dig up, live those memories again and feel that pain and grief. On the surface, it may seem counterproductive to dig up something asleep in our minds. While it is true that processing emotions can be a painful process and one that is likely to create strong emotions that can be unpleasant, it is also the reason why it is important to dig them up and process them.

[THREAD] Let’s talk about love bombing. I talked about it often in other threads related to relationships/manipulation but it deserves its own thread because it happens more often than we think. It may not always be done with nefarious intent but it leads to harm down the road. In this situation, we will define love bombing as unsustainable levels of affection, validation and resources that is given very early on in the course of a friendship or relationship but cannot be sustained long term because it is too intense.

TW: manipulation/partner abuse
[THREAD] While going over my notes for cases in the last year, I noticed a disturbing trend. There are many cases where, intentionally, the guy (mostly) pretends to be open minded/ally as a way to create love then become abusive. It usually starts with love bombing, aligning their goals with the person they are pursuing, making sure to mention that they are different from other guys. They are not looking for traditional values that many women don’t want anymore. The first few months are usually perfect.

[ personal THREAD] At the end of September/early October, I went through a break up and received results of my blood work indicating I had prediabetes and high cholesterol. 45 kilos lost and 8 months later, I have noticed differences in how I was treated pre and post weight loss. I catalogued a lot of it purely out of psychological curiosity but I didn’t realize how massive people’s perception of me changed, simply because I lost weight. This is not a judgment or even bitterness towards it, but a phenomenon of physical appearance that is so deep rooted.

[THREAD] let’s talk about procrastination and how it relates to mental health. It is by far in the top of what bothers people the most when it relates to their mental health. It impacts everything we do including our daily habits such as hygiene and food. Let’s dive deeper. Procrastination is not a disorder or something that can be “fixed” on its own because it is a consequence of other mental health issues. Pretty much every single mental health concern can show itself through procrastination because it is a matter of energy output.

[THREAD] this is going to be a bit of an unusual thread. We are going to talk about the harmful impact of having a lot of empathy and how we can mitigate them. Many of us may have gone through emotional burnouts from being there for others at the expense of ourselves. Empathy is seriously the best attribute in a human being. It connects us with others and transcends our differences in ways that nothing else can. However, when we are so attuned to other peoples’ moods and problems, we leave a wide open door to being hurt.

[THREAD] let’s talk about health anxiety. These past few years have put so much emphasis on heath, illness and constantly worrying about our environment for fear of catching the virus. Health anxiety has increased so much, and for those who already had it, it became worse. It is important to note before we dive deeper into this that it is always a good idea to have physical check ups/second opinions if we felt dismissed by the first doctor we went to see. We cannot reach a conclusion of health anxiety without first ruling out anything physical.

[THREAD] let’s talk about depression. It is the most common and perhaps one of the broadest categories in mental health diagnoses. So much can fall within depression. What is it? What different shapes it takes? How can we recover? And how it affects our quality of life. A common misconception about depression is that it is a disorder of sadness that is intense. While intense long term sadness can be a factor, depression can also come in the shape of emotional numbness, despair, a loss of motivation and a host of other symptoms.

[THREAD] if you have wondered “why me?” or “what is causing this?” when it comes to your depression/anxiety, we are going to talk about this and explore the reasons why depression/anxiety seem to hit at seemingly random moments that leave us wondering what the heck happened. First of all, it is important to realize that there is a logic behind this. As much as we like to think it may be due to bad luck, there are reasons happening in the background that are leading up to this. The first one is simply that we ran up our resilience tab.

[THREAD] Let’s talk about overthinking. It is something we can all relate to. In fact, I have been overthinking about how to approach this thread, my brain being very much on topic. We will all experience overthinking differently, let’s look at those and what we can do. For some people, overthinking is going to be feeling burdened by their thoughts. This may because those thoughts are very intrusive, have negative connotations or triggering our anxiety/depression/trauma. For others, it is going to be racing thoughts, which come and go fast.

[THREAD] it is a new year, many of us introspect and look at parts of our life we would like to improve. If mental health is one of them, here is a guide on things that you can implement and guide you towards a process of recovery. Let’s get started. The most important thing for recovery is going to be treatment. That can come in two forms: therapy and medication. Both are good options and can work well. Medication for mental health is generally safe and not addictive, despite the stigma that still exists around it.

[THREAD] Let’s talk about Ghosting and its impact on mental health. I have been asked a lot to write about it. It is a complex topic. It took me a while to think about how to write it. Ghosting would be the sudden removal of communication without telling the other person. There are some very obvious pros. For one thing, it can be necessary for safety or for someone who does not respect boundaries. Being able to suddenly block the person is such a protective factor for our mental health. This is why it should be used in these instances.

[THREAD] let’s talk about self neglect. It is not something we often hear about or talk about. In this case, it would be neglecting our own needs such as food, water intake, sleep, showers, self-care…due to our mental health. Why do we engage in these behaviours and what to do? When we are not doing well psychologically, we lose our motivation, and oftentimes, the first thing that disappears is taking care of ourselves. We can’t really neglect jobs or family duties, so it is easier to neglect ourselves. However, this triggers a worsening cycle.

[THREAD for men] Even though this thread is meant for men, anyone can feel free to comment/add to it. In my five years working as a therapist, I have noticed that there is a huge disconnect (even bigger than I previously thought). So let’s assume we have Earth A and Earth B! Both of those occupy the same space and they can interact with one another. Earth A is the Earth women live in. In this reality, the same streets, same spaces and households are more dangerous than Earth B. The rules are different.

[THREAD] let’s talk about recognizing toxic parenting/toxic behaviours from parents. It is not an enjoyable to talk about but it is important. Given how much of our culture is rooted in that toxicity (e.g. parents can’t be wrong, obey parents regardless), we have to address it. This side of our culture can make holding parents accountable hard. There aren’t systems or institutions in place that can legally implement measure to protect children from physical or psychological abuse. It is pretty much, whatever they do goes. It is hard to find support.

[THREAD] let’s talk about (fear of) abandonment. It is one of those things that we talk about often, that we portray in various ways through jealousy and anxiety, with a lot of negative connotation. What is it? Where does it come from? Are there ways to deal with this? Let’s start with saying that no one has a fear of abandonment out of nowhere. It is not something that develops on its own. Just like any other form of trauma or mental health concern, it stems from certain points in our life. Most of the time, it is from a loved one leaving us.

[THREAD] let’s talk about comparing ourselves to others and its impact on mental health. It is something that is ingrained in us when we are young and can stay with us as we are adults. This is especially true when our mental health isn’t well and we feel like we are lagging. While some amount of comparing is normal, doing it too much can quickly become harmful. This is especially true because the internet has made it easier to compare ourselves to other people. Social media is full of people sharing their joy and successes.

[THREAD] let’s talk about behaviours or dynamics that are normalized that can be detrimental to our mental health. There are a lot of toxic behaviours that we may have grown up with, and kind of normalized despite the fact that they can be bad for our mental health. One of the main ones is yelling to get our point across. Oftentimes, we may feel like we don’t have a voice or say and so observe parents or other people around us yelling so we may get into that habit ourselves to be heard or to feel like we have a voice.