Harrison Schenck Profile picture
Sep 15, 2020 30 tweets 7 min read Read on X
Do you have high standards for your children? Then you’d better have high standards for yourself

Here are 5 poisonous character traits that, if allowed in your home, will RUIN your kids:

=THREAD=
Your kids watch everything you do

They listen to every word you say

And they behave precisely how you behave

This is no accident

It’s evolution (once again)

Read as we discuss why this is so, and explore some of the most 'contagious' bad behaviors YOU should stop immediately
Contents:

(Part 1):

1. Why do we copy our parents?
2. Rudeness
3. Gossipping
4. Laziness
5. Complaining
6. Frivolous Spending
1. Why:

Humans thrive when we are part of a ‘group’, and risk death when we aren’t

That’s as true today as ever

If you’re accepted by the group, you have its protection

There’s strength in numbers

If you’re rejected by the group, you’re alone

Predators love solitary prey
What’s one way to signal that you belong to a group?

Behave similarly!

It works for office environments, it works for friend groups, and it works for families

Evolution wouldn’t leave this up to chance, so it made it automatic

Your children WILL do what YOU do
There’s no escaping the force of this finely tuned ‘modeling’ adaptation

And what do you do when a force of nature is inevitable?

You use it to your advantage!

Show your children virtue, get virtue in return

Show your children vice, and doom them to a life of despair
And so like everything else in life:

To save your family, you must first save yourself

Which of our bad behaviors are the most ‘contagious’? The most likely to be adopted by our children?

And which behaviors should therefore be avoided all the more deliberately?

Read on:
1. Rudeness

How do you treat people? How do you speak to those ‘beneath’ your station?

Waiters?
Store clerks?
Uber Drivers?
Telemarketers?

Would you be proud if your child spoke to them the same way?

Because they will

Is the momentary 'superiority' you feel worth that?
Rudeness is WEAKNESS

By being rude you're signaling you're threatened, defensive

You’re saying you worry the target of your rudeness might be better than YOU

A rude man is a man fearful of being found out as a FRAUD, so he insults and belittles to distract from his inadequacy
1. Rudeness - SOLUTION

Be kind

Kindness is strength

Kindness shows your value

True superiority, true ABUNDANCE,

Comes from the ability to show kindness to all

Regardless of their perceived station or slight against you

Magnanimity is the ultimate 'flex'

Model it always
2. Gossiping

Your children are all ears

Do they hear you speak ill of your neighbors?

Do they hear you delight in sharing salacious stories about friends or family?

If you traffic in gossip your children will follow suit

They value what you value, they DO what you DO
Take pity on gossipers, for they are sick

Speaking ill of other people reveals a lack of purpose in one’s own life

It’s cowardly, because it’s done behind another’s back, and because it reveals you have nothing of note in your own life to discuss

The gossiper takes no risks
Remember:

WEAK people speak about other people

AVERAGE people speak about themselves

STRONG people speak to impose their will

Gossiping makes you the weakest of the weak

And when you see it in children, the source of that behavior is always WEAK parenting
2. Gossiping - SOLUTION

YOU are not weak! YOU are not cowardly!

Speak of others freely if you’re offering praise

But never speak about their private ordeals, and NEVER speak poorly of their character

JUDGE their character all you want, this is healthy

But judge SILENTLY
3. Laziness

Imagine this -

It’s a beautiful spring day outside

The weather has just turned, the sun is shining

And your fat little children spend it on the couch, chortling at poisonous televised animated agitprop

Why are they doing this? Because YOU showed them how
Sloth is an affront to God

He blessed you with eyes, ears, legs and arms

Why?

So you could see, hear and move freely about the world

To receive such a gift and not use it is a sin

And THE WAGES OF SIN IS DEATH
Let your children see you waste away entire days, and they’ll think it appropriate to do the same

Let them see you stare mindlessly and unproductively at your phone, and they’ll beg to follow suit

Let them see you laugh at God, and they will laugh louder!

So what should we do?
3. Laziness - SOLUTION

Every day there is breath in your lungs is a blessing beyond measure

To wake up in the morning is to receive a gift so precious that it’s been ultimately snatched back from every man ever born

Don’t waste it!

Lift weights

Play sports

Hike outdoors
The method of movement is not important

What’s important is your disciplined determination that you WILL move, every day, without exception

Give your children this gift and it will serve them for a lifetime

Fail to do so, and they'll never escape the prison you made for them
4. Complaining

Question: What’s more pathetic than a petulant, complaining child?

Answer: The parent who made him that way

To complain is to admit your powerlessness

Proclaiming your weakness loudly for all the world to hear

Praying for charity where none will be found
Complaining is never appropriate

Either the issue at hand is within your control, and you should act to resolve it

Or it isn’t, and you shouldn’t speak of it all

'Complaining" is attention-seeking behavior designed to recruit pity

But instead, you recruit only disdain
4. Complaining - SOLUTION

When you hear a complaint from your child, ask one simple question:

Can you do anything about it?

If the answer is yes - then the complaining stops and action begins

If the answer is no - then the complaining stops and acceptance begins
The man who complains gains nothing

He finds no solutions to his problems

He freezes himself in time, resenting his predicament

And he finds no pity, only contempt

Others hear complaints from a man, but they see a weak-willed child
5. Frivolous Spending

This is a particularly dangerous behavior, as the extent of its damage may take years to fully present itself

Your children ARE picking up on patterns in your relationship with money and credit

And they’ll assume you can ‘afford’ everything you purchase
But can you?

Or are you purchasing momentary status at the expense of your future security?

If your finances aren’t in order, not only do you risk the immediate security of your family

But you’re setting your children on a path to do the same

On and on the cycle goes
5. Frivolous Spending - SOLUTION

You must have a written budget

You must spend less than you earn

You must allocate what’s leftover to debt or investment

That's the simplest explanation of personal finance you'll ever see, and it's all you need

But there's one more step:
You MUST speak openly with your children about the above

You do them no favors keeping this information close to the chest

If you’re making mistakes in your own finances, you’re dooming them to repeat after you

And if you're not, but also not educating, the damage is the same
If you’re still reading, I have great hope for you

Either the information above doesn’t apply, and you are in a strong position

Or it does, and you now have everything you need to resolve your situation

So either way, congratulations!
But are these the only ‘bad habits’ you should avoid when raising your children? No!

When this account reaches 2000 follows I will release Part 2, where we’ll cover more bad habits to avoid:

6. Eating garbage
7. Raising your voice
8. Apologizing
9. Slovenliness
10. Being Late
If you want Part 2, help spread the word by RTing the first post

Thank you as always for reading

Together we WILL RISE

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More from @SaveYourSons

Jan 18
20 life lessons I'm teaching my sons 🧵 Image
Fairness is a myth. Some people have easier lives than you. Some people have lives that are way more difficult. Stop expecting fate to play fair, and stop comparing yourself to others
Your ancestors knew more than you think. "Tradition is a solution for problems that have been forgotten. Remove tradition, you get the problem back". Don't dismiss your ancestors' wisdom just because it's "old".
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101 skills to teach your kids 🧵 Image
When I first started writing about fatherhood online, one of the most common concerns I got from other dads/parents was this:

"I just don't know what to do with my kids"

It was always surprising to hear, but it was common enough I started compiling this list and have been adding to it here and there.

Hopefully it's useful, and hopefully you never run out of ways to spend time with your kids 👇
1. Camping: plan a weekend camping trip to explore the outdoors; teach them how to pitch a tent, build a campfire, tell stories, and enjoy the family time

2. Fishing: teach your kids the art of fishing (how to clean a fish etc), teach them patience at the same time

3. Woodworking: pick a DIY project to do together (birdhouse, toy car, whatever)

4. Sports: get outside and play a game of catch, basic rules of different sports

5. Car maintenance: teach the basics (change a tire, replace oil, keep it clean)

6. Grilling: teach proper heat, marinades and rubs, how to clean a grill
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Mar 28, 2024
I asked you to name classic books that are "must reads" with your kids

Here are 15 of the top answers you gave, with brief synopses and discussion lessons from each (save this and reference it with your kids): Image
1. The Call of the Wild, Jack London

Buck, a domestic dog, is abducted and sold into the brutal life of an Alaskan sled dog. As he copes with his new life, Buck reverts to his wild instincts to survive and eventually becomes the leader of a wolf pack.

Lessons for kids:

-The importance of resilience and adaptability in the face of change.

-Embracing one’s inner strength when dealing with challenges.

-The value of understanding and respecting nature.

(might be scary for younger kids)Image
2. Winnie-the-Pooh, A.A. Milne

A collection of stories about a stuffed bear and his friends in the Hundred Acre Wood (ok everybody knows that). Together, they embark on simple adventures that mirror common childhood experiences in an imaginative way.

Lessons for kids:

- The importance of friendship.

- Emphasizes the significance of imagination in everyday play.Image
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Mar 24, 2024
Lots of parents ask me for a big list of things to teach their kids. So I put this one together.

Make sure you save it so you never run out of things to do with your kids. And add your own in the comments if you have them.

1. Camping: plan a weekend camping trip to explore the outdoors; pitch a tent, build a campfire, enjoy bonding time

2. Fishing: teach your kids the art of fishing and patience, (and how to clean a fish)

3. Woodworking: pick a DIY project to do together (birdhouse, toy car)

4. Sports: get outside and play a game of catch

5. Car maintenance: teach the basics (change a tire, check oil, etc)

6. Grilling: teach proper heat, marinades and rubs, how to flip meat

7. Martial arts: join a boxing or jiu jitsu gym together, or just punch a heavy bag

8. How to throw a punch: proper foot and shoulder position, how to guard your face

9. Gardening: plant a small garden together, learn how to care for & nurture the plants

10. Astronomy: get outside and look at the stars, talk about the constellations

11. Biking: just go do it

12. Home improvement: change lightbulbs, fix toilets together, etc

13. Chess: one of my favorites, teach strategy, thinking several moves ahead

14. Model building: build model cars/airplanes/trains, emphasize attention to detail

15. Geocaching: a modern day treasure hunt

16. Archery: kids love this, teach technique and patience

17. Rock climbing: builds strength, coordination, and trust

18. Metal detecting: more treasure hunting (bonus points for hiding treasure ahead of time)

19. Photography: teach composition, basics of different lenses

20. Emotional intelligence: how to understand and manage emotions, empathize with others

21. First aid basics: CPR, bandaging wounds, Heimlich

22. Cooking essentials: teach basic healthy meals, kitchen safety

23. Goal setting: create achievable goals, strategies to hit them

24. Public speaking: practice confidently & effectively speaking in front of the family

25. Manners: teach proper social behavior in your region

26. Networking: how to win friends and influence people

27. Basic sewing: how to patch clothes, sew a button

(continued on next post)Image
28. Decision-making: how to make a decision based on facts

29. Digital literacy: online safety, basic excel skills

30. Negotiation: learn leverage, create win-wins

31. Laundry & clothing care: washing/folding/stain removal

32. Home security: secure your living space together

33. Environmental stewardship: leave spaces cleaner than you found them

34. Travel: basic planning, how to create itineraries

35. Map reading: kids love maps, teach how to interpret them

36. Electrical skills: safety and handling minor issues (circuit breaker etc)

37. Reading comprehension: analyze and critically evaluate written material

38. Time management: prioritize tasks, set deadlines, avoid procrastination

39. Job interview skills: do mock interviews together

40. Resume writing: write mock resumes together

41. Self-reflection: learn personal strengths and weaknesses

42. Work ethic: teach dedication, punctuality, dependability, thoroughness

43. Bike maintenance: how to fix a tire, adjust brakes, etc

44. Volunteering: go do it together

45. Art appreciation: visit a museum

46. Resourcefulness: thinking outside the box

47. Personal safety: how to avoid dangerous situations

48. Conflict de-escalation: techniques to defuse tense situations

49. Posture: stand up straight, shoulders back, eyes forward

50. Study habits: learn how to learn

51. Organization: how to maintain a clean, organized living space

52. Public transportation: how to read schedules and maps

53. Swimming: non-negotiable, the sooner the better

54. Musical instruments: pick one he likes, learn together

55. Memory techniques: read "Moonwalking with Einstein" together

56. Sportsmanship: how to act when you win and when you lose

57. Basic plumbing: how to unclog a sink

58. Writing: practice together

59. Typing: do family speed contests online

60. Firearm use and safety: safe handling and maintenance

61. Fire safety: teach how to prevent fires, and how to respond in case of a fire

62. Assertiveness: closed mouths don't get fed

63. Budgeting: create and manage a personal budget

64. Animal care: feeding/walking/etc

65. Weather: learn how weather works, prepare for severe weather together

66. Personal branding: teach the importance of maintaining a positive personal image

67. Sleep hygiene: develop healthy habits early

68. Mentorship: teach the value of guidance from people w/experience

(continued on next post)
69. Body language: how to interpret non-verbal cues

70. Basic nutrition: macro nutrients, calories, metabolism

71. Patience: practice real examples of delayed gratification

72. Gratitude: verbalize gratitude together daily

73. Presentation skills: assign a topic and present

74. Storytelling: how to be captivating, how to keep attention

75. Ice-skating: because why not

76. Giving feedback: learn how others are individually receptive to feedback

77. Receiving feedback: accept critiques gratefully, while considering the source

78. Computer maintenance: troubleshoot common computer issues together

79. Poker: reading other people, probabilities, avoiding tells

80. How to set boundaries: assertively and empathetically

81. Theater: go to plays together

82. Time alone: learn to be content by yourself

83. Drawing: practice together

84. History appreciation: remember, it's always written by the winners

85. Human nature: people are predictable, human nature never changes

86. Active listening: how to be attentive and show you're listening

87. Sartorialism: how to dress

88. Morning routine: develop one and practice it together

89. How to host: the art of hospitality

90. How to be a guest: the art of graciousness

91. Build a library: let kids pick books and add to family library

92. Foreign language: learn one together

93. Chivalry and respect: treat others with timeless kindness

94. Calligraphy: practice various styles and techniques together

95. Speed reading: read Breakthrough Rapid Reading by Peter Kump

96. Writing thank you notes: what to include, when to send

97. Basic strength training: start with pullups/pushups

98. Hill sprints: race each other, one day your kids will win

99. Bushcraft: build shelter and survive using the nature around you

100. Family tree: map yours together

101. How to tip servers: amount, when to do it

Thanks for reading this far

Couple things you'll notice as you look through the list, these items usually fall into one of two categories

1) they're things you do in your daily life anyway. The secret is to simply include your kids. Teachable moments are everywhere

2) if they're not things you do every day, then they're things that will make you a better, more well rounded person. By learning new skills and hobbies, you're setting the best possible example for your kids. You're showing them a man who is never "finished." You're always getting better. And that's the only real example that matters at the end of the day.
Read 4 tweets
Mar 22, 2024
Reminders for dads (myself included)

-say yes more often
-don’t wish away time
-keep your voice calm
-you can never be too patient
-remember they’re watching
-you’re never a finished product
-an extra story at night won’t hurt
-the good old days are happening right now

(continued👇)Image
Say yes more often.

Saying “no” is easy. It’s a comfortable default. But one day they’ll ask to play for the last time, and you never know which day that will be.Image
Don’t wish away time.

“When they’re older it will be easier.” I’ve caught myself saying this. And maybe it will be true (it probably won’t). And either way, what a shame it is to wish away the precious time we have right now.Image
Read 11 tweets
Dec 1, 2023
8 Parenting & Marriage tips for Dads (continued in followup posts) 👇 Image
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