Thread by @SaveYourSons

Do you have high standards for your children? Then you’d better have high standards for yourself

Here are 5 poisonous character traits that, if allowed in your home, will RUIN your kids:

=THREAD=

Your kids watch everything you do

They listen to every word you say

And they behave precisely how you behave

This is no accident

It’s evolution (once again)

Read as we discuss why this is so, and explore some of the most 'contagious' bad behaviors YOU should stop immediately

Contents:

(Part 1):

1. Why do we copy our parents?
2. Rudeness
3. Gossipping
4. Laziness
5. Complaining
6. Frivolous Spending

1. Why:

Humans thrive when we are part of a ‘group’, and risk death when we aren’t

That’s as true today as ever

If you’re accepted by the group, you have its protection

There’s strength in numbers

If you’re rejected by the group, you’re alone

Predators love solitary prey

What’s one way to signal that you belong to a group?

Behave similarly!

It works for office environments, it works for friend groups, and it works for families

Evolution wouldn’t leave this up to chance, so it made it automatic

Your children WILL do what YOU do

There’s no escaping the force of this finely tuned ‘modeling’ adaptation

And what do you do when a force of nature is inevitable?

You use it to your advantage!

Show your children virtue, get virtue in return

Show your children vice, and doom them to a life of despair

And so like everything else in life:

To save your family, you must first save yourself

Which of our bad behaviors are the most ‘contagious’? The most likely to be adopted by our children?

And which behaviors should therefore be avoided all the more deliberately?

Read on:

1. Rudeness

How do you treat people? How do you speak to those ‘beneath’ your station?

Waiters?
Store clerks?
Uber Drivers?
Telemarketers?

Would you be proud if your child spoke to them the same way?

Because they will

Is the momentary 'superiority' you feel worth that?

Rudeness is WEAKNESS

By being rude you're signaling you're threatened, defensive

You’re saying you worry the target of your rudeness might be better than YOU

A rude man is a man fearful of being found out as a FRAUD, so he insults and belittles to distract from his inadequacy

1. Rudeness - SOLUTION

Be kind

Kindness is strength

Kindness shows your value

True superiority, true ABUNDANCE,

Comes from the ability to show kindness to all

Regardless of their perceived station or slight against you

Magnanimity is the ultimate 'flex'

Model it always

2. Gossiping

Your children are all ears

Do they hear you speak ill of your neighbors?

Do they hear you delight in sharing salacious stories about friends or family?

If you traffic in gossip your children will follow suit

They value what you value, they DO what you DO

Take pity on gossipers, for they are sick

Speaking ill of other people reveals a lack of purpose in one’s own life

It’s cowardly, because it’s done behind another’s back, and because it reveals you have nothing of note in your own life to discuss

The gossiper takes no risks

Remember:

WEAK people speak about other people

AVERAGE people speak about themselves

STRONG people speak to impose their will

Gossiping makes you the weakest of the weak

And when you see it in children, the source of that behavior is always WEAK parenting

2. Gossiping - SOLUTION

YOU are not weak! YOU are not cowardly!

Speak of others freely if you’re offering praise

But never speak about their private ordeals, and NEVER speak poorly of their character

JUDGE their character all you want, this is healthy

But judge SILENTLY

3. Laziness

Imagine this -

It’s a beautiful spring day outside

The weather has just turned, the sun is shining

And your fat little children spend it on the couch, chortling at poisonous televised animated agitprop

Why are they doing this? Because YOU showed them how

Sloth is an affront to God

He blessed you with eyes, ears, legs and arms

Why?

So you could see, hear and move freely about the world

To receive such a gift and not use it is a sin

And THE WAGES OF SIN IS DEATH

Let your children see you waste away entire days, and they’ll think it appropriate to do the same

Let them see you stare mindlessly and unproductively at your phone, and they’ll beg to follow suit

Let them see you laugh at God, and they will laugh louder!

So what should we do?

3. Laziness - SOLUTION

Every day there is breath in your lungs is a blessing beyond measure

To wake up in the morning is to receive a gift so precious that it’s been ultimately snatched back from every man ever born

Don’t waste it!

Lift weights

Play sports

Hike outdoors

The method of movement is not important

What’s important is your disciplined determination that you WILL move, every day, without exception

Give your children this gift and it will serve them for a lifetime

Fail to do so, and they'll never escape the prison you made for them

4. Complaining

Question: What’s more pathetic than a petulant, complaining child?

Answer: The parent who made him that way

To complain is to admit your powerlessness

Proclaiming your weakness loudly for all the world to hear

Praying for charity where none will be found

Complaining is never appropriate

Either the issue at hand is within your control, and you should act to resolve it

Or it isn’t, and you shouldn’t speak of it all

'Complaining" is attention-seeking behavior designed to recruit pity

But instead, you recruit only disdain

4. Complaining - SOLUTION

When you hear a complaint from your child, ask one simple question:

Can you do anything about it?

If the answer is yes - then the complaining stops and action begins

If the answer is no - then the complaining stops and acceptance begins

The man who complains gains nothing

He finds no solutions to his problems

He freezes himself in time, resenting his predicament

And he finds no pity, only contempt

Others hear complaints from a man, but they see a weak-willed child

5. Frivolous Spending

This is a particularly dangerous behavior, as the extent of its damage may take years to fully present itself

Your children ARE picking up on patterns in your relationship with money and credit

And they’ll assume you can ‘afford’ everything you purchase

But can you?

Or are you purchasing momentary status at the expense of your future security?

If your finances aren’t in order, not only do you risk the immediate security of your family

But you’re setting your children on a path to do the same

On and on the cycle goes

5. Frivolous Spending - SOLUTION

You must have a written budget

You must spend less than you earn

You must allocate what’s leftover to debt or investment

That's the simplest explanation of personal finance you'll ever see, and it's all you need

But there's one more step:

You MUST speak openly with your children about the above

You do them no favors keeping this information close to the chest

If you’re making mistakes in your own finances, you’re dooming them to repeat after you

And if you're not, but also not educating, the damage is the same

If you’re still reading, I have great hope for you

Either the information above doesn’t apply, and you are in a strong position

Or it does, and you now have everything you need to resolve your situation

So either way, congratulations!

But are these the only ‘bad habits’ you should avoid when raising your children? No!

When this account reaches 2000 follows I will release Part 2, where we’ll cover more bad habits to avoid:

6. Eating garbage
7. Raising your voice
8. Apologizing
9. Slovenliness
10. Being Late

If you want Part 2, help spread the word by RTing the first post

Thank you as always for reading

Together we WILL RISE