As I work through some tag function calls
This API's structure both shocks and appalls
So as you can see
That while I love S3
Did they call this thing "simple" for LOLs?
Their VMs are all called "EC2"
Since elastic compute's what they do
"I can spin up a test
Then I'll kill it I guess"
It won't retire until long after you.
AWS services are good--with some snags.
Full cross-service support often lags
Can we refuse to pay
For any service today
Until NET30 past "it supports tags?"
Let me point out, if you couldn't tell
The AWS billing system and its personnel
MapReduce and refine
to get bills out on time
But somehow those emails never find me well.
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Today's cloud marketing story is called "The Tale of Hot Rebecca," and is a truthful recounting of dinner last night.
Strap in; it's a fun ride.
Back in my early 20s, I had a number of friends / acquaintances in my (primarily Jewish) social circle named "Rebecca." It was kind of a problem.
("Can't we spray for them?"
"…not since the 1940s.")
So every Rebecca got an adjective, much like the seven dwarves. One of them asked me once what her adjective was, and I responded in a fit of unadulterated honesty, "you're Hot Rebecca" because honestly? Damn.
Made it to the #GoogleCloudNext keynote seating finally. Let's see how this goes now that the world is starting to wake up to a "much of the AI hype is unwarranted" reality.
Boeing: "HOW ARE THEY DOING IT?!"
Airbus: "We bought a torque wrench?"
Boeing: "No, how are you being a featured customer testimonial at #GoogleCloudNext?"
Airbus: "Oh, that? We made a strategic decision to not be walking poster children for corporate negligence."
And now, some DevOps / SRE / Sysadmin / Ops / ENOUGH already tips I learned from early in my career--brought to us by our friends at Chex™ Mix. All of these are great ideas that you should implement immediately...
DNS is notoriously unreliable, so use configuration management to sync all of the servers' /etc/hosts files. Boom, no more single point of failure.
Future-proofing is an early optimization, so don't do it. Every network should be a /24 because that's how developers think. I mean come on, what are the odds you'll ever have more than 253 hosts in a network?
And the Amazon earnings are out for Q4. A miss on @awscloud revenue by $20 million because analysts didn't expect one of you to turn off a single Managed NAT Gateway.
Let's explore deeper into their press release.
For 2023, AWS sold $90.8 billion of services, most of which were oversized EC2 instances because you all refuse to believe Compute Optimizer when it tells you there are savings to be had if you're just a smidgen more reasonable.
Word frequency in the earnings release:
Customer: 87
Employee: 11
Generative: 16
Cloud: 24
Serverless: 3
DynamoDB: 2
Union: 0
It's once again the most wonderful time of the year: the newly-renamed @Gartner_inc Magic Quadrant for Strategic Cloud Platform Services!
This year there are no visionaries or challengers, just "cloud" vs. "you pretend to be a cloud." Let's explore together!
We're going to ignore the "niche players" because for three of them I don't speak Mandarin, and for @IBMcloud I don't speak ancient Greek.
That leaves @awscloud, @Azure, @googlecloud, and @OracleCloud.
@IBMcloud @awscloud @Azure @googlecloud @OracleCloud First up is AWS due to its undisputed alphabetical supremacy.
Strengths include its "everything but the kitchen sink" approach, its innovation in hardware design, and its large feeding ground--I mean, partner ecosystem.
Amazon Q / "an AWS spokesmodel" is easily proving incredibly, incredibly helpful at answering the @awscloud questions its human predecessors in corporate comms refused to address.
According to an AWS spokesmodel, EC2, S3, and DynamoDB have all seen price increases. I did not know that!
I was missing a handful of these on my deprecation list; thanks, AWS spokesmodel! You're incredibly helpful!