I hesitate to ask questions like this but... why does Javascript not believe in installing libraries? All the nonsense about downloading 5 megabytes of libs on every page load - those are libs that are used across millions of websites. Why aren't they reused?
To be clear, I believe Javascript is the stupidest shit on the planet made by the most incompetent people so you shouldn't respond if you're one of them because I have nothing kind to say about your industry, but
I don't underfuckingstand why "jquery-2.0.3.min.js" isn't just stored in an SxS library repo within my browser. It makes no sense. Grab it from CDN on first use and just treat it like a system DLL.
DLL Hell in windows is ridiculous because every single program uses a slightly different subsubsubsubsubsubrevision of everything. no two programs have ever been compiled with the same version of the visual c runtime, and that's fine. Windows handles it. Webshit isn't like that.
it's not like jquery has a new version every millisecond that's distributed through murky backchannels like a lot of binary libs. Everything comes from cdn.jquery.net and there aren't, to my knowledge, builds beyond the patch level. there just aren't that many versions.
JS is, ironically, one of the very very few places where this could be handled in a sane way, and it isn't. I regularly wonder if people *want* it to be bad, the way linux people *want* software to not have a GUI just because if computers are hard to use, they look much cooler
javascript is the kid who wants to be treated like an adult but wants help with everything, and argues out of both corners of his mouth - it claims "i'm a person just like you, age is just a number!" and "you can't put all this burden on me, i'm just a kid!" simultaneously
javascript wants to be treated like a grown-up, first-class programming environment while it delivers the behavior of BASIC on the Apple ][. it doesn't deserve the former and owes us better than the latter.
with all due respect to the people responding you all seem to be missing my point. a library isn't a filename at a URL that contains <shrug> who knows what, some bytes, whatever, lol. a library is "jQuery" "Version=2.0.6", a canonical *concept,* an object with metadata
a library should be able to identify itself by a name and a set of semantic version fields, not just "uhhhhhhhhhhhhh there's an object called $ in the global namespace i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"
an application should be able to ask for "jquery >= 2.0.3", not "get me a file called jquery.2.0.3.min.js who fucking cares what's inside of it"
i literally can't make ruby *work,* i can't make it execute a program, and i still respect it's meta infrastructure more than javascript.

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More from @gravislizard

25 Nov 20
here's an opinion i've had about retrocomputing / nerd culture for a long long time
the overwhelming majority of "cool" computers that everyone "wishes they had" were created to perform dreadfully boring tasks, by people who wished they were anywhere else, in the service of people who did a ton of coke and left our economy a smoking husk that can't support life
you do not want a cray-1. all they are is calc.exe but very fast and you can't even touch the buttons, you have to write a program that touches them. the purpose of a 'supercomputer' is to sit humming for 24 days and then produce a single integer, or 25 million integers
Read 23 tweets
24 Nov 20
unboxing a protogen. lifting them out of the styrofoam blocks. peeling the plastic film off their faceplate
throwing away the 6" USB cord that came in the box and digging a nice 10' anker with a velcro strap out of a drawer, plugging it into their ear. CHARGE COMPLETE IN: 116 HOURS. you dejectedly sit on the edge of the bed and look at your phone
series of snapchat screenshots
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"man they used those packing peanuts ugh haha"
"nice long cord"
"here's his d*ck"
Read 4 tweets
20 Oct 20
imagine if microsoft offered professional services to anyone who could pay. i would pay $300, one time, to have someone at MS who actually knows something log into my PC and figure out why explorer can't render thumbnails
no sfc /scannow bullshit, i mean they raymond chen that shit, they get in and coredump explorer and go "okay you have a png library that paint.net installed, that's the problem"
honestly, i'd pay any company for that if they were trustworthy, but "repair windows pc" is basically a stopword. there are hundreds of millions of people who think they have complicated and interesting problems, but don't, and millions of amoral vultures preying on them
Read 21 tweets
18 Oct 20
i'm watching the first episode of house m.d. out of curiosity but almost the entire episode is in monochrome other than flesh tones and i swear to god the house m.d. i watched on hulu in 2007 didn't look like this. i love the revisionist history of rereleases
this is absolutely not how it looked when i watched it 15 years ago. what the fuck is this war crime color grading it looks like i died in a 1950s hospital and my ghost still haunts that place @Emoji_Nakamoto ImageImageImageImage
the last movies i watched were 300 and sin city and they had more life and saturation in them than this. this is *not* what i watched in 2008.
Read 18 tweets
27 Sep 20
occasionally i try to play a diablolike - i apparently bought grim dawn ages ago? i have no memory of this. but like. do you like this game? i have a question: when you look at this, do you... see something? not just a blur?
i don't understand how a human brain can contain this many numbers simultaneously unless you're a math savant. this is what every single diablo game (including current-patch diablo ii) looks like now and I just don't get it.
i don't understand what's fun about having 9 things side by side that have literally 20+ attributes i need to compare, all of which differ by a percent or two, and no shorthand whatsoever for deciding which i should use
Read 22 tweets
26 Sep 20
power outage selfie
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