@OneJKMolina's guide was the only guide I ever used (that I can recall...it has been a blur)
Not only was his guide incredibly helpful, but JK quickly became a friend and he was indispensable in helping me get exposure in my first days and weeks
Thank you JK
Other early supporters of this account who helped immensely in the first few days:
When I first started writing about fatherhood online, one of the most common concerns I got from other dads/parents was this:
"I just don't know what to do with my kids"
It was always surprising to hear, but it was common enough I started compiling this list and have been adding to it here and there.
Hopefully it's useful, and hopefully you never run out of ways to spend time with your kids 👇
1. Camping: plan a weekend camping trip to explore the outdoors; teach them how to pitch a tent, build a campfire, tell stories, and enjoy the family time
2. Fishing: teach your kids the art of fishing (how to clean a fish etc), teach them patience at the same time
3. Woodworking: pick a DIY project to do together (birdhouse, toy car, whatever)
4. Sports: get outside and play a game of catch, basic rules of different sports
5. Car maintenance: teach the basics (change a tire, replace oil, keep it clean)
6. Grilling: teach proper heat, marinades and rubs, how to clean a grill
I asked you to name classic books that are "must reads" with your kids
Here are 15 of the top answers you gave, with brief synopses and discussion lessons from each (save this and reference it with your kids):
1. The Call of the Wild, Jack London
Buck, a domestic dog, is abducted and sold into the brutal life of an Alaskan sled dog. As he copes with his new life, Buck reverts to his wild instincts to survive and eventually becomes the leader of a wolf pack.
Lessons for kids:
-The importance of resilience and adaptability in the face of change.
-Embracing one’s inner strength when dealing with challenges.
-The value of understanding and respecting nature.
(might be scary for younger kids)
2. Winnie-the-Pooh, A.A. Milne
A collection of stories about a stuffed bear and his friends in the Hundred Acre Wood (ok everybody knows that). Together, they embark on simple adventures that mirror common childhood experiences in an imaginative way.
Lessons for kids:
- The importance of friendship.
- Emphasizes the significance of imagination in everyday play.
71. Patience: practice real examples of delayed gratification
72. Gratitude: verbalize gratitude together daily
73. Presentation skills: assign a topic and present
74. Storytelling: how to be captivating, how to keep attention
75. Ice-skating: because why not
76. Giving feedback: learn how others are individually receptive to feedback
77. Receiving feedback: accept critiques gratefully, while considering the source
78. Computer maintenance: troubleshoot common computer issues together
79. Poker: reading other people, probabilities, avoiding tells
80. How to set boundaries: assertively and empathetically
81. Theater: go to plays together
82. Time alone: learn to be content by yourself
83. Drawing: practice together
84. History appreciation: remember, it's always written by the winners
85. Human nature: people are predictable, human nature never changes
86. Active listening: how to be attentive and show you're listening
87. Sartorialism: how to dress
88. Morning routine: develop one and practice it together
89. How to host: the art of hospitality
90. How to be a guest: the art of graciousness
91. Build a library: let kids pick books and add to family library
92. Foreign language: learn one together
93. Chivalry and respect: treat others with timeless kindness
94. Calligraphy: practice various styles and techniques together
95. Speed reading: read Breakthrough Rapid Reading by Peter Kump
96. Writing thank you notes: what to include, when to send
97. Basic strength training: start with pullups/pushups
98. Hill sprints: race each other, one day your kids will win
99. Bushcraft: build shelter and survive using the nature around you
100. Family tree: map yours together
101. How to tip servers: amount, when to do it
Thanks for reading this far
Couple things you'll notice as you look through the list, these items usually fall into one of two categories
1) they're things you do in your daily life anyway. The secret is to simply include your kids. Teachable moments are everywhere
2) if they're not things you do every day, then they're things that will make you a better, more well rounded person. By learning new skills and hobbies, you're setting the best possible example for your kids. You're showing them a man who is never "finished." You're always getting better. And that's the only real example that matters at the end of the day.
-say yes more often
-don’t wish away time
-keep your voice calm
-you can never be too patient
-remember they’re watching
-you’re never a finished product
-an extra story at night won’t hurt
-the good old days are happening right now
(continued👇)
Say yes more often.
Saying “no” is easy. It’s a comfortable default. But one day they’ll ask to play for the last time, and you never know which day that will be.
Don’t wish away time.
“When they’re older it will be easier.” I’ve caught myself saying this. And maybe it will be true (it probably won’t). And either way, what a shame it is to wish away the precious time we have right now.
65 sentences that will make you a better husband and father today (bookmark this thread):
One day your kids will ask you to play for the last time. And the more often you say "not right now," or "I'm busy," the sooner that day will come.
Your job is to be steady around your family. Imagine you're a lighthouse. Still, bright, and tall while the waves crash around you. Save your vulnerability for close male friends.