Daniel José Older Profile picture
Sep 18, 2020 5 tweets 1 min read Read on X
Bruhhhhh the dogs were going bonkers after something behind the plants in the backyard so I wrangled em inside and came out with the flashlight and it was possum! When I shined the light on it it was like
And it WORKED! played me for the clown. Forgot possums are born liars. Called the humane society and left a message because all their ppl were probably out dealing with other gullible tenderhearts like me lol when i went back out to check little dude was GONE hahahaha
Thought that mothafucka was trying to give up his icky little mortal coil in my backyard and I was trying to figure out if I was gonna have to burn my shovel after I scooped its corpse up smh while dude was making his escape!
Yesterday a neighbors dog got loose TWICE and showed up at our door wagging his tail like a goober. My pups were going nuts. He was clearly trying to make an honest woman out of one of em smh
But the number of times Ive stumbled on various neighborhood dogs who've gotten free and escorted their wily little asses back home often without their humans even knowing lol just deposited them in their yards and secured the gate properly...

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More from @djolder

Feb 10
Israel is committing genocide.
Israel is committing ethnic cleansing.
Palestinians have said it while trying to survive it.
Israeli leaders have said it while they commit it.
If you support Israel you support genocide. Period.
You're not for freedom if you're not for Palestine.
We in the US are funding a genocide. Your silence is complicity. There's no job in the world worth giving your humanity away for. Worth giving tacit approval for this mass murder for.
Read 8 tweets
Dec 18, 2022
This logo has a mullet and snorts coke through a $2 bill
Logo has at least a dozen civilian complaints against it and a DWI and is still gonna make sergeant
This logo presses play on a casset recorder to blast the Axel F theme whenever it walks into the break room and thinks everyone is groaning affectionately
Read 9 tweets
Dec 16, 2022
still with this shit really Tweet: Silencing journalist...Luther smoking too much
sorry alderaan ol buddy garsh i hope this was an honest mistake
Humanity is determined to hope that was an honest mistake itself right into the trash bin of existence
Read 5 tweets
Nov 2, 2022
"cardiac arrest" doesn't mean a heart attack, it just means the heart stopped. It's a vague unhelpful thing that ends up on official death reports for various reasons.
All this to say: Julie Powell's husband may have just been reporting what he was officially told, not trying to cover up a real reason for her death. It's probably very unclear still what exactly happened.
I know there's a lot of covering up of COVID stuff so I get why people are on guard for that. But I wouldn't jump to that conclusion in this case, esp given how cardiac arrest gets thrown around in official documents.
Read 10 tweets
Nov 1, 2022
lmaooo i’ve only have like an hour to work during the day recently but when Tito and B knock out IT’S ON BABY and by on I mean I become ruthlessly efficient the goddamn terminator of demolishing my to do list AN ANIMAL
this isn’t even a humble brag it’s just a brag because HOW did I just pack all this win into a single hour?? It doesn’t seem real. KNOW ME *explodes*
WHO AMONGSTETH
Read 4 tweets
May 23, 2022
Fixed it for you @nytimes but also wtf
Literally the definition of slavery and then an immediate backtrack to try to make it a matter of opinion. US fragility/hero complex at its absolute worst.
There’s better threads about that series by people who know the scholarship; RTed one yesterday. I’m just saying if you can’t call slavery slavery just because it was perpetrated by the US post Civil War, you don’t have the range or the right to tell this story.
Read 6 tweets

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