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Sep 18, 2020 25 tweets 5 min read Read on X
Nilisaidia my bro keja ashugulikie maslahi ya bambi, halafu wakaweka kambi kwangu na wakakataa kutoka hadi na bangi

A Thread
My pal Kim alikua akipiga this rich girl Bianca lugha, talking stage ilikua miezi mbili kama short course but finally aliingia box yake. My pal aliingiza dame anatumia iPhone box yeye akitumia Tecno, huyu lazima angeniambia Siri yake and I wasn't going to tec-no for an answer😌
Kim alikua delivery guy kwa shop flani apa tao inaitwa Techsmartke, ya kuuza iPhones, na on this day alikua anafanya delivery kwa kina Bianca. Bwana ya Bianca wanted to surprise her with an iPhone on her birthday, and that's how Kim met her na akaplay cards right akapewa namba
Vibe yao ilikua mostly on phone coz rich girls hukua wamekaziwa, most hukua na strict parents so hawangeweza kumeet waongee or do something together, Kim akasuggest watoroke waende Molo, dame akauliza mbona tuende huko?Kim akamuambia because freedom is coming to-Molo😂
Mi naambianga my pals ukipata dame wacha kuuliza maswali hazina kichwa, ati oooh ukona chali??? Sasa kama akonayo?? Hio haikuhusu, wewe rusha manifesto yako wacha dame atajiamulia kama ako na chali. Mwaga agenda na upange kazi yako vizuri thazol, thazit.
Bianca alikua lightskin, medium height na alikua mnono. There's a thin line between thiccc and fat but the only way naweza draw hio line ni time amekula gym vizuri, halafu akaflatten curves za mwili yake ndio nichore line of best fit kama gava na kesi za corona.
Kwao inafaa waweke password kwa fridge otherwise by the time kafiu inaisha huyu anaweza tegwa na nyasi aroll kama mtungi ya 20 litres hadi Sachang'wan😂. Kwanza na hii baridi, akiweza overdress, time ya mechi ndio uweze kumtoa hizo nguo lazma ukue na experience ya kufungua bale😂
But my pal hio ndo ilikua size yake and he liked her just the weigh she was. Alikua ananiibia mwakenya vile alibag this fine mamaa and waaaaah, zile uongo zilisemwa, I was weeping for my pal. Kwanza alikua ananiomba mansion akuje ararue Bianca, mimi siwezi kataa watu wateremshane
Nikamsho haina shida akam tu. Bianca alikua kiboko yao but Kim alikua akuje kumpiga viboko, Kim hakua walalo but alikua muslim, alikua mkonde which is okay coz dawa ya balloon ni pin ndogo. So on that day Kim aliamkia kwangu kukuja kufanya usafi, lazima kila kitu ingekua perfect
Kim alisafisha mansion design chapo ingeanguka kwa floor unaiokota before 5 seconds ziishe halafu unashout "Germs Are Not Aware" na unaikula veryy fast. In the history of usafi ya mansion, hio siku tulikua tumevunja recordi, tulikua kama Harmonize yaani tumevunja record ya Wasafi
Ilibidi tumetoa my 32 inch TV juu ya vibuyu tukaimount kwa ukuta manze, hakuna vile Kim angetoa Bianca Runda akuje akule shida huku, hapo Bianca mungemmark absent. After tumemaliza kila kitu ndio Kim ananiambia alisema hio apartment ni yao😭😭. Wuuuwi, hapa ilikua Kimeumana
Ilibidi tumechotea caretaker wetu Ndung'u awapige apartment tour Bianca akifika. Alikua anapenda kuchungulia hao za watu so tulimnickname Snoop Ndung'u😂.Bianca alikuja na fare yake, hakuna vile Kim angemhost, ampee food na amtumie fare. Kim hawezi ingilia kazi ya Bonfire Safaris
On that day caretaker wetu Simunifu Dog hakua area so ilibidi nimekam kuwapiga apartment tour. That was the first time I laid my eyes on her, and let me tell you Maina kuna wasichana warembo hii Nairobi. Kama beauty was a calling basi nyinyi wengine maskio imefungana
Wacha aanze kuuliza "Babe kwani you don't have a lift in this kahouse"😂nikajua leo kitaeleweka. Na Kim ananiangalia kama mwenye ploti akijifanya hajui. Tukafika 3rd floor kwa mansion nikawaambia "Hello boss this is the room we prepared for you, hata wewe ndio wa kwanza kuingia"
Wacha Bianca aingie kwa keja atuulize "gai babe WHERE IS THE REST OF THE HOUSE?💀😂. Wooi Alexa play "Kwetu Pazuri"😭 Ilibidi nmemsho "this is what we could come up with in such a short time". Kim akanilambisha 500 niende nikakulange vako hio weekend before nirudi on Monday.
Bedsitter foreplay inakuanga kuzima stima ama kufunga mlango. Walifunga mlango hivi kama wameanza kuraruana. Kweli watu wanakula waschana na big spoon hii Nairobi, must be naiss..

Mimi Monday kufika mansion nikiwhistle nikiangalia place nilimsho aweke key haiko, ikabidi nmeknock
Kubisha, sauti ya dame ikasema "ni nani?" Nikasema "ni mimi" akauliza "wewe ni nani?" nikamuuliza "kwanza we ni nani?" Sikua na time ya kubishana kwa mlango yangu. Nikafungua nikaingia, mimi vitu niliona karibu nimshow "Inua mguu niingize mzigo" nikakumbuka mi sio donda wa mat😂
Thighs zilikua exposed kama meno ya ngiri, halafu zilikua rangi ya thao, ukiziona unambao. Tiddays zilikua zinamwagika kama maziwa imeekelewa kwa gas. Abdalla alikua anacheza nikama ako mwisho ya stage, yaani amesimama. Badala ya kuficha masehemu alikua anazi-feature.
Mansion ilikua inanuka mixture ya jasho ya makwapa na masehemu, perfume ya dame na air freshener, unaeza dhani umeingia mat ya Eastleigh. Ndo ananiambia "Si you are the caretaker? Ebu bring me some water" Mungu wangu!!, all this disrespect in my own house😭. I was unable to can
Namuuliza "why are you still here" ananiambia "Kim said I can stay here for the whole week nikitaka, and stop asking me stupid questions"🥺 It was the nerve and audacity for me guys. Nilitoka nje nikacall Kim nikamsho amuambie tu ukweli, it was getting too far. Wiki mzima buana?
Kim alimcall akamuelezea ukweli like grown ups, hata yeye kwani akona IQ ya mende?? Mtu anaown apartment anakua aje mtu wa delivery😂. Nilirudi kwa mansion after like 10 minutes nikapata akijitayarisha kurudi kwao. Niliingia straight kitchen kupika,nilikua na njaa buana
Akienda kutoka nikamuuliza "kwani hungojei lunch??" Akaniambia "ata ni weather naangalia iko aje nijue kama nabeba mwavuli"😂 These girls na chakula😂. Alirudi aka apologize, and we talked and became friends na akarudi kwao after sometime.
Anyway ukisaidiwa keja, by 6 asubuhi inafaa ukue umetoka buana, na upange nyumba have some decorum. And game is game, kama hauna lugha tafuta pesa, kumbao bila doo ni dangerous.
About Bianca sijui but about my pal Kim check out their shop. They sell iphones, best prices in the market currently, call 0797209269 or check out their IG page on this link below.Rt their customer might be on your TL

instagram.com/techsmartke/
Yo fam, thanks for the support, tag your friends and follow for more threads. Check out my other threads.

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