Comrade Fudge Profile picture
Sep 19, 2020 26 tweets 5 min read Read on X
1) I’m not talking about it. You motherfuckers want me to, I got people egging me on in private, but I’m not talking about it.

I’m going to talk about something else entirely.

I’m going to talk about the one thing that unites all sane people of the world.
2) You know it. You know what I'm going to talk about. If you don't, you're going to say, 'oh, fuck, you're right' the minute I say it.

That's how fucking sure I am about it.

I know EVERY MOTHERFUCKER AROUND THE WORLD will agree with me on this, no matter what your inclination.
3) The one thing that we all hate...

Is fucking crying children.
4) Yep. You're all nodding. You know exactly what I'm talking about. The senseless inconsolable pointless tantrum. I know you said, "Oh, fuck, you're right" the minute you read that.

NO ONE likes it.

No one.

Parents question why they had children dealing with those tantrums.
5) You're trying to go about your day, you got shit to take care of, you're in your own world, nesting inside your own mind, and then that ear-piercing SCREAM erupts, forces you out of your quiet meditative state, and you go, "Oh, FUCK ME."

And 20 feet away some kid's SCREECHING
6) Bringing it back now. Let's refocus.

I'm still not talking about it.

But right now, the crying and the screeching is pulling you out of your world, out of your thoughts, and making it impossible for you to focus.

And that's the worst part of it. You can't ignore it.
7) I saw a question the other day, "If you had superpowers, what would you want?"

I said, to be able to create silence.

I wanted to shut off all the fucking noise around me. Blissful fucking silence.

To shut up the bobbleheads and the screeching.

Just... that. Silence.
8) You're seeing the same retweets I am. I know you are.

The tantrum of all fucking tantrums is coming.

And you know what's going to unite everyone?

Wanting the crying fucking children to just SHUT THE FUCK UP.
9) They're not infants. They're grown fucking adults. They should know better than to throw tantrums.

You can't walk up to some crying child and tell it to shut the fuck up. Well, you CAN, but its generally frowned upon from my experience.

But these are adults. Fair game there.
10) Do you know why they're still coming, after all these years, all these defeats?

Really, they've been beaten at every turn. They've been THRASHED. They've been CRUSHED, but they still keep coming back.

Why is that?

Why do they keep throwing their tantrums?
11) All we're dealing with are the ideological children of the communists Reagan dealt with. And they were VICIOUS to him too. They were bombing shit. They were terrorists.

And now they're back.

Why is that?

Why after they got beaten so badly did they come back?
12) Why, after all this time, are they still throwing their fucking tantrums? Look at the retweets we're seeing. They're ready. They're going to do it. The mere MENTION of it is all they need to throw a goddamn tantrum.

Why are they still coming back for more?
13) Have they not fucked around and found out enough?

They haven't.

The reason they're back is because they haven't been broken.
"Wars are not won on the field of combat. Battles are, but those are only ever part of the story. To win a war you need to break the enemy's resolve, to force him to accept defeat. Otherwise the war will never end."
"Too many conflicts persist because battles are won but the hearts and minds of the people are not. Winning involves every level of society, from the generals and politicians to the shop girls and street cleaners."
"The infantryman with his rifle may be the blunt weapon used to win this fight, but he is neither the instigator nor the concluder."

-Precentor Martial Anastasius Focht
14) You're getting the Dark Fudge now.

The one that gives absolutely ZERO fucks.

The Dark Fudge that emerges when it's not about winning, its about DESTRUCTION.
15) This is the Dark Fudge that marched to the sea and burned Atlanta.

This is the Dark Fudge that dropped Fat Boy because Little Boy didn't make enough of a boom.
16) It's not about winning.

It's about drawing these motherfuckers out, and crushing them.

Name the replacement, and beckon the most VILE, the most OUTRAGEOUS, the most HATEFUL SHIT THAT THESE SOULLESS SCREECHING MOTHERFUCKERS WILL SAY.
17) Tantrums over rapists and drug addicts getting shot or dying of overdoses almost threw the entire election away.

Now imagine the tantrums over not getting their way.
18) I WANT them to burn down cities.

I WANT them to commit terrorism.

I WANT them to go absolutely ballistic and attack Republicans in the halls of the Senate.

Please. Sneak those protestors in under press passes and let them attack GOP staffers and Senators. DO IT.
19) I want them to go absolutely fucking BATSHIT, with ALL THE FUCKING WORLD WATCHING.

I want 100 Chaz's set up.

They just made one in Minneapolis. I WANT THREE MORE IN THAT CITY ALONE.
20) I want all of Manhatten to be turned into one big lawless CLUSTERFUCK, and I want DeBlasio's daughter to walk around as Queen of the Manhatten Chaz wearing fucking tiger skins and dying her hair into a fuckmothering RAINBOW.

DO IT.

I WANT YOU TO.
21) I want these screaming maniacs to charge the goddamn White House, I want them to threaten Barron's life with the most vile fucking threats they can hurl, I want them doing all of this, and if all it takes is saying a simple name on Monday, THEN SHOUT THAT NAME FROM THE ROOFS
22) It is not about morals, it is not about ethics, it is not about whether some squishy fucking sellouts that've never been held responsible for a single fucking failure in their pointless nonmiraculous fucking LIVES decide to bitch out ONCE MORE.
23) Win by letting your opponent set themselves on fucking fire. Hand them the fucking gasoline. It takes exactly one announcement to do that.

/end

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More from @HNIJohnMiller

Oct 23, 2024
1) Alright, let's break this shit down.

First question, "And I wonder, are the last four years an obstacle to you in this race?"

Kamgirl declares her presidency is not a continuation (lol) and repeats the 'I'm bringing my own experiences' line again.

Yeah. Sure.
2) She transitions her answer over to the price of groceries. "So part of my plan includes what we need to do to bring down the price of groceries, including the work I will do dealing with price gouging." Oh yay. Price controls. She just doesn't say price controls.
3) She transitions again, mentions the cost of housing, floats her $25k down payment assistance. I mean, sure, I'll add $25k to the price when I sell my place to some sucker. This didn't help her the first time around when she pitched this, she ain't treading new ground.
Read 25 tweets
Aug 16, 2024
Thread time? Thread time? Thread time.

I’mma channel my spirit animal @Peoples_Pundit and do a thread in why I’ve been giggling like a madman the past few weeks. Polls. Specifically, dumb polls. Specifically, WHY these Harris-favoring polls seem *rather dumb*.
ERMAGERD AN EMERSON COLLEGE POLL THAT HAS HARRIS WINNING BY 4.

People. Emerson College is part of the polling industry mafia. That they were showing trump up over Biden was just because they were part of the pack that were forced to go along with the very obvious trends. Image
Observe the polling from September and October of last year when the Trump edge over Biden was becoming apparent. Emerson was right there with Susquehanna, NYT/Siena, etc trying to put their thumb on the scales of the aggregate. Image
Read 21 tweets
Feb 27, 2021
Basically, the entire Khashoggi story was hyped up by Turkey claiming that a recording of Khashoggi's murder in the embassy was caught on his apple watch and transmitted to his iphone that his girlfriend waiting outside had. This was accentuated by the MSM hyping up his watch.
Then, of course, I and several other people pointed out that Turkey's networks weren't compatible with the model of apple watch. Literally, it couldn't connect to Turkish cell networks. Suddenly, it became, "Oh, experts are skeptical, but we still totally know the Saudis did it."
cnbc.com/2018/10/15/kha…

Here's one of the 'debunking' articles.

And for the hyping that up in the first place...
Read 6 tweets
Jan 13, 2021
Most of what I write isn't understood by most of the people who read it.

That's fine. I don't actually like most of the people who read my stuff. They're reactionary in the most reflexive and knee jerk sense, they're stubborn in ignorance, and they're far too trusting.
This isn't for them.
I can't even say who this is for because I don't know who's going to understand what I'm writing, and if they do then it would be unlikely and unwise of them to respond saying they do. That's fine. I think I truly understand where Thomas is coming from now. I'm doing this for me.
Read 27 tweets
Jan 12, 2021
I despise you. I cant fucking stand you. You are the reason the McRib is never a permanent part of the McDonalds menu. You are the reason Sechuan sauce has never been brought back. You are appendix cancer. You are HIV personified.

What in the unholy fuck made you this stupid.
“Here’s a troubling trend about how millennials started killing themselves.”

“LEL I BET IT WAS EMO MUSIC!”

Yes, clearly, there is NO COVARIANCE BETWEEN A GENERATION PRONE TO SUICIDE AND A SUBCULTURE UNIQUE TO THAT GENERATION THAT EPITOMIZED NIHILISM. NO COVARIANCE AT ALL. MHMM.
Every grave of a kid that died from substance abuse or suicide that isnt emo is a giant middle fonger to fucktards like you.

And no. It WASNT social media either you fucking larva brained imbeciles. This trend started two years BEFORE myspace’s heyday.
Read 5 tweets
Jan 7, 2021
On Being an American, by HL Mencken (1922)

The references updated to modern terms by Comrade Fudge (2021, close to a full century later)

Yes, this shit is still relevant.

monadnock.net/mencken/americ…
All the while I have been forgetting the third of my reasons for remaining so faithful a citizen of the Federation, despite all the lascivious inducements from expatriates to follow them beyond the seas, and all the surly suggestions from patriots that I succumb.
It is the reason which grows out of my mediaeval but unashamed taste for the bizarre and indelicate, my congenital weakness for comedy of the grosser varieties. The United States, to my eye, is incomparably the greatest show on earth.
Read 38 tweets

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