Thread by @sisabet

So far on The Untamed:

We had the most dramatic death scene ever, One Beautiful But Audacious Back From the Dead and Possibly (!) Evil(?) Dude hiding from his Tragic Widow Husband only to be revealed by his flute and a wrist grasp of recognition that is truly gasp inducing

THEN we flash back to their meet cute where Wei Wuxian is like “I hate you, you uptight fuddy duddy” at Lan Wangji (Tragic Widow Dude pre Tragic Widow), finds out that Lan Wangji did one *slightly* nice thing and is suddenly “DID WE JUST BECOME BEST FRIENDS?”

Lan Wangji is not amused. You can tell by how he doesn’t move his face

Meanwhile we meet the Wen Clan and their incredible sense of fashion, style, and how to really make an entrance and the theory of why Wei Wuxian goes evil (?) starts to maybe hinge on his desire to wear really sexy robes - still just a theory

Turns out EVERYTHING IS PROHIBITED for the Lan clan and Wei Wuxian is composed solely of mischief and puppies (also prohibited) so maybe he was never really evil at all, he just has unmedicated ADHD (same, child, same).

We meet Lan Wangji’s incredibly sexy older brother and everyone is in love with him and that includes you and me - I don’t make these rules I just point them out

Another theory about Wei Wuxian going evil:

@sweetestdrain: My theory about wei wuxian being evil is he was distracted by a bird during the part of class saying "don't be evil" so he doesn’t know!

So right now we have he does it for either the style, he’s not really evil just prohibited (it’s all about your perspective), or he was distracted and it’s all a misunderstanding

In an attempt to...solidify their one-sided friendship, Wei Wuxian shows Lan Wangji porn. This happened. I saw it.

Things happen, time passes, demons are fought and there are other characters doing things and for reasons both Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are corporally punished and go to a healing cold spring because sure

So they are in the water:

@faneunice: I’m sorry did Wei Wuxian really just say there were a lot of benefits to being his friend and *immediately* start stripping his clothes off?

And then. AND THEN something happens and they end up in a cave and have to get Headband Married (it’s a thing I’m pretty sure I’m not making it up) and there are also bunnies wearing headbands and then the Ghost of Femslash Past gives them a Solemn Mission

At this point I remember the initial Incredibly Dramatic Death Scene and I feel physical pain because I know what it means that Lan Wangji’s face did *that* and it takes some joy away from what I am getting out of bunnies all wearing headbands

Anyway, Wei Wuxian continues to really go all out on the adorableness and even makes Lan Wangji sort of smile and I screamed. You would also scream. It’s scream worthy.

Remember - so far we have a gasp worthy wrist grab and a scream worthy smile - this show is very interactive

Then Wei Wuxian makes this incredibly noble wish because he is still totally made of sunshine, puppies, and ice cream and you can watch as Lan Wangji REALIZES “oh, shit. I’m into him” and it’s incredible what this actor can do with micro facial movements

I’m gonna go back and just watch all the vids now that I know what’s up with him

Other stuff is happening like Wei Wuxian’s sister and her betrothed don’t light a lantern together and everyone is shocked because they are supposed to be married and this is weird

Meanwhile I will give you 2 guesses who Wei Wuxian lanterns with and honestly you don’t need them it’s Lan Wangji!!

More stuff happens and Wei Wuxian cuddles a bunny and decides not to keep it because he is leaving and if Lan Wangji is lonely he might need a bunny to cuddle

Reader, there are a ton of bunnies. The bunnies are a metaphor.

Vid: Posted
New Laptop: Acquired
Cookies: In Hand

It's time for more The Untamed

The laptop needed more focus than I had to give so sadly I was only able to get to dire owls conquered by harnessing sexual tension and sexy bruises tonight.

I’m fully convinced nothing bad will ever happen to anyone ever and am fully in denial of the opening of the first ep

I’m also not trawling AO3 for arranged marriage AUs! Lies and slander!

Okay so things have taken A Turn

A Turn into Seriously Smoldering Villain (and I have a TYPE)

WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?? HOW DARE HE? WHY AM I SO EASY AND PREDICTABLE?

I am banking on him being the Callisto of the show and I can't wait to find out more about his sexy tragic backstory

Theory on why Wei Wuxian goes evil 4:

He is seduced by the Dark Side. The Smoldering Dark Side that Smolders.

This is the angriest Lan Wangji has ever been in his entire life

Friends and Strangers my I present to you: Mr. Steal Your Man

I don't normally screencap and I'm gonna be straight with you guys -- I have 108 caps of this. Like. WAS HE MADE IN A LAB TO FUCK WITH MY HEAD??? I am only so strong.

Meanwhile why is my poor baby Nie Huaisang being exposed to all of this? He does not belong here and I am very upset at whoever is supposed to be protecting him from this kind of exposure.

I don't trust this guy. @faneunice is taken in by his dimples but he seems like he has an agenda

Wei Wuxian's brother is so shocked and meanwhile Lan Wangji is like "don't bust me out like that - uncool"

I'm calling it a Night Hunt from now on, btw

These guys are having a full and interesting life full of love and rogue demon hunting off screen and it was really nice of them to stop by and check in with us.

I remain, as ever,

Predictable

Reader, I straight up screamed at my television "THAT'S THE BROTHER???"

He's just saying what we all wanna know and I respect him for it.

oh no, now I love him

I don't know what to tell you Lan Wangji, but it's not like he said he never gets drunk and passes out on roofs. It's kinda how ya'll met. This is his hobby.

Damn, I just have nothing to add to this straight up drunken rooftop pining slash seduction other than it's beautiful and I am here for it.

oh, no

SUDDENLY I AM SUPER INVESTED

I would die for either of them right now and I can't identify why this has happened so quickly but it is what it is and I'm not crying, you're crying!

This is the most painful thing I have ever seen please make it stop this show got so intense and I just want gay flutes to come back

I care so much and I'm devastated. I need to spend some quality screen time with Lan Wangji's brother to make up for this pain

I really need some time to figure out the dynamics at work here but I'm super into the Nie Clan and if we need to stick around with them for awhile the Unclean Realm seems cool

Just...imagine these are your kids and my heart goes out to their dad. He tries so hard and runs so far and in the end it doesn't even matter.

On the one hand - LOVE a lady who can make an entrance.

On the other hand - she does not like Wei Wuxian and that is not forgivable

But she's hot so she can stay

OH THANK GOD... I missed him so much! But also um...there is an invasion outside your door so you might want to check into that, Lan Xichen

Me and Lan Xichen are both unhappy that he is being sent away - I know it's important to protect the library because Lan Wangji likes to read there so I guess it must be done

UP IN THE SKY! This sweet baby knows how to make an entrance also AND he likes Wei Wuxian so he's very well perfect

This guys like "Kill Him!" and Lan Wangji is like "No."

Lan Wangji is having visible emotions and that means shit is hitting the fan

He's a determined, brave little toaster and I think maybe this was a huge mistake but I also don't think he has a fully developed prefrontal cortex no matter how much he wills it to be completed. Some stuff is just biological and so you're gonna make mistakes - it's how we learn.

Oh. YOU FUCKER! When Wei Wuxian goes evil (?), I hope he murders you first

I Love Her A Lot: A Life's Story by Me

Aw hey, cutie - stay safe and like hide your porn really really well.

I LOVE these sibling dynamics and how they both want to be their sister's favorite. It's so soft and nice. More of this please.

Oh no Jiang Cheng, why did you say anything! YOU KNOW THAT MEANS Wei Wuxian is gonna turn around and Lan Wangji is gonna walk in for for maximum drama

Maximum. Drama.

Do you think Jiang Cheng gets tired of saying "Wei Wuxian, don't cause any trouble" every single day of his life?

Oh this is gonna be a MESS

This is it. This is the dynamic between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian in 2 screen caps.

Wei Wuxian: I have give up my sword, oh no I don't like it but oh well

Wei Wuxian: OMG LAN WANGJI HAS TO GIVE UP HIS SWORD OMG IS HE GONNA BE OKAY I AM FREAKING OUT

I'm certain Wei Wuxian's not going to get himself into any trouble at all - nothing to see here

I remember the second episode and I Have Concerns

Jiang Cheng knows exactly what is going to happen doesn't he?

We must protect Wei Wuxian

I SCREAMED! There is "I like you, do you like me? Check one box - yes, no, or maybe"

And then there is "I memorized the several thousand items in your clan's rigid code and am now reciting them to make a point because I PAID ATTENTION"

THIS MAN

How does he go from absolutely ridiculous

To THIS in like no time flat -- also Lan Wangji's face is really hurting me right here

I mean....

HELLO!

I...I am gonna need a minute. Like this is super kinda my thing and I just need to process this and sit with it.

This slow burn is the best thing I've ever seen in my entire life

I...I need to know that this is happening

HOW IS THIS REAL?

I...I for one would really really really like to know how tough he can be, for like, science reasons. Yeah that's it

oh...oh no, his face

Not to be a creep on main, but I'm into this

I love practical effects but this was...Let's move on

am I super into tortured Wei Wuxian?

All signs point to yes --- he is just so talented, he's great at being a goof, at being sweet, at being a little shit. If he throws off a single perfect tear in the next few eps I will scream so loudly you will all hear it

"How is your wound?"

"How are you and your sister?"

Never forget to express care for others even in dire circumstances.

But really, Wei Wuxian knows what's important and he is a man who might not seem to be able to prioritize but just like his ability to be tortured beautifully this is a man of hidden depths

Everything is getting so painful and wonderful

PAAAAINNNN

I am getting everything I have ever ever wanted

This is a truly glorious day

Again, my sympathy belongs to Jiang Cheng as he has earned all of it.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*plays We've Only Just Begun*

He did not just say that about their daddy! I hate this guy

Jiang Cheng, honey -- you gotta learn to pick your battles

Wei Wuxian makes a very good point and that help absolutely has to come from him for reasons

Jiang Cheng you were never going to win this argument but the moment you suggested Wei Wuxian might carry Lan Wangji, you completely lost his attention because now he is off in a seriously detailed fantasy.

Jiang Cheng you know better than this

This is possibly the wisest thing Wei Wuxian has ever said in his entire life. I am so proud.

I love how you can see his little face gearing up to talk to Lan Wangji about something that isn't teasing him

MY FACE IS MELTING

Honestly, if ANYONE else made Wei Wuxian's face do this I would maybe claw their eyes out but since it's Lan Wangji I can just coo and sigh and have, like, hope

My little plucky trooper is not to be deterred and knows when to seek help from others.

I love him so much. I love her so much. I want to tear my face off.

Conspiring! To help! TEAM UP

THESE TWO ARE PERFECT CINNAMON ROLLS AND I WILL NOT BE TAKING ANY QUESTIONS AT THIS TIME

brothers! long suffering but brothers!

Jiang Cheng, you already know the answer to this like 98% of the time you ask Wei Wuxian and yet you still ask, every single time

Aw, yes another cave what could possibly go wrong?

GASP!!! I am shocked (I was not shocked - as soon as he said it seemed bottomless I was like "ah, child you are gonna fall down that pit" because it seems a talent of his)

I suddenly remember the opening scene of the series and experience a deep existential dread that honestly I have grown accustomed to living with but for a brief moment was able to sublimate into Lan Wanji's face right here - his face should never look like this

I was unable to get nonblurry caps for this event but if you think I'm not gonna use them anyway, you don't know me. Also, my expression exactly matches Wei Wuxian in the last frame

Petition to buy Jiang Cheng an all inclusive resort vacation for one (except he would last a day before worry would make him go back to check on his brother due Wei Wuxian and his Wei Wuxian Ways)

FIGHT

I honestly don't know how anyone who knows Wei Wuxian even in a little tiny bit is surprised at all at this escalation

Petition to create fundraiser to assist in Jiang Cheng's stress induced ulcer treatment

As one smartass to another; this was very nicely done

Is it just me or is Murderous Wei Wuxian kinda hot like fire?

This is a very good look for him

I honestly feel like I should have seen the giant turtle coming but much like Wei Wuxan, I was dependent upon Jiang Cheng to figure out what is happening

Lan Wangji is the only person who has seen Jurassic Park and knows the rules when it comes to fighting...um, giant cave turtles and this is why we stan

Giant Cave Turtle fighting commences and ALSO SHIT GETS REAL and this one mean lady wants to BRAND this other lady who pissed her off by not wanting to die - I don't want to point fingers or anything but was anyone on the production team involved in NXIVM

Wei Wuxian takes a BRAND TO THE CHEST in a move destined to make me have thoughts of Great Moments In Ships Past

Somebody SAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEE!

OMG

THEY ARE TRAPPED! IN!! A!!! CAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@sweetestdrain said, she said "There is something just for you in episode 13" and and boy was she ever right.

I cannot express how much I love Trapped In a _____ tropes especially when it is a CAVE

Me and Lan Wangji to Wei Wuxian, "don't do it"

Wei Wuxan *does it*

Wei Wuxian is Good At Women

You just know his interior monologue is "this would totally work on my sister I have no idea why I'm bombing here"

Petition to allow Jiang Cheng one solid day of not having to do anyone else's emotional labor.

These silent conversations just with your eyes is honestly pretty rude and I'm very upset with you both

Watching Wei Wuxian doing something incredibly brave and self sacrificing as a distraction to allow everyone else to escape is not how Lan Wangji wanted to spend his evening but he is coming to terms with his fate

Reader, he was not right behind Jiang Cheng

Petition to buy Jiang Cheng a puppy

Lan Wangji is suddenly inspired to act and no one can figure out why. It's a mystery. One for the ages.

oh no, sexy wounds! alone in a cave! this is the best show ever made

What in the name of the Great Hurt/Comfort God have I done to deserve this, this GIFT

It was at that moment that Lan Wangji understood how incredibly out of his depth he is right now with Wei Wuxian. From here on out he has accepted his doom/fate

The fact that Wei Wuxian has an AO3 account is glaringly obvious at this point but he isn't wrong. There is a natural order to these things and tradition demands that they strip

I mean this is happening.

None of this is fair and I am in agreement with Wei Wuxian. He is only one person and he has been pushed SO FAR!

The hurt/comfort hits just keep coming

Lan Wangji learns to speak Wei Wuxian's love language

Wei Wuxian responds with delight

Lan Wangji has accepted that he is in love and now must do what he can to caution Wei Wuxian to take better care of himself

Lan Wangji is like "but your beautiful beautiful body is marked forever" and Wei Wuxian is missing the point

This conversation is causing Lan Wangji way more pain than his open and bleeding wound

Lan Wangji is wondering if maybe he hit his head at some point because the words coming out of Wei Wuxian's mouth just do not make sense

Lan Wangji realizing in real time that he is in love with truly the dumbest boy in the world

Oh no. No. This is unacceptable and it must stop

If Wei Wuxian murders the entire Wen clan (because what does he do that is so evil? Is that it??) because Lan Wangji is crying, I don't think it is an over reaction because LOOK

Yes, Wei Wuxian, we are all very very worried about Lan Wangji's brother and hope to see him again soon

He misses the point like it's his job sometimes, but this is a very very sweet boy

And with this, episode 13 has watered my crops, walked my dog, fixed my roof, and completed my taxes.

This is completely too much and I am writing a strongly worded letter. Lan Wangji is not equipped for this and his blood sugar is also very low.

He needs at least a glass of orange juice or a hard candy - this feeling is just gonna cause my poor man to struggle.

Wei Wuxian is always thinking about ways to die, have y'all noticed?

Lan Wangji is basically thinking "It had to be *this* guy"

Yeah, you picked him, Lan Wangji. This is the man who owns your heart. Sorry not sorry.

I am not sure what is happening here but Wei Wuxian is pleased and Lan Wangji is having a lot of feelings so I suppose I support it.

(is it wizard sex?)

I have a really bad feeling about this

Random creepy swords are never a good idea

OMG DO NOT EVER JUST TOUCH THE RANDOM CREEPY SWORD THIS IS NOT A DRILL WEI WUXIAN OMG

Can I have a moment to talk to Lan Wangji:

Hey, listen I know all of this is rough and you are trying your best but Jiang Cheng is not here and therefore there is no one else to tell Wei Wuxian to not play with probably cursed swords so it's up to you

This is concerning. I am concerned.

Boyfriend Power Activate

I am not thrilled with this but I do love it so just know I'm at war with myself right now.

This seems like a Very Bad Thing

Is this doing bad things to a pure cinnamon roll of dumbassery, nobleness, and fun?

I'm gonna go ahead and hate this sword, guys

OH NO I AM SORRY BUT THIS SHOW IS GOING TOO FAR NOW I CANNOT ACCEPT A WORLD WHERE HIS FACE DOES THIS

On the other hand, this is basically my aesthetic

oh no this is bad what is happening to Wei Wuxian's face it isn't his Hot Murder Face it's way more like Xue Yang's Hot Murder Face which I have decided I don't want on my child. Also I'm adopting Wei Wuxian.

This is not the date night Lan Wangji was hoping to have. If Wei Wuxian was not my son I might be getting into his evil power face just a little because I am still me. Since he is my son I want to feed him soup and ground him for six weeks.

The drama, the pathos, the intensity -- I have never been so invested in the death of a demon turtle

These caps are blurry. I DO NOT CARE

I want to see the Bring Me To Life vid. I know it exists and don't hold out on me someone rec it right now.

oh oh honey

sweetie, maybe drop the sword, mmkay?

oh, oh my pokey little puppy someone better be making this right

All of Wei Wuxian's romantic dreams are coming true and he isn't even in the right state of mind to appreciate it

Lan Wangji loves one dummy a lot

This is the most serious my child has ever been and Lan Wangji is right to suspect a fever

No one has equipped Lan Wangji for this - he is not prepared. Fuck, I'm old as hell and I'm not prepared. Someone do something!

This is the second time this episode Lan Wangji has put some type of glowy energy into Wei Wuxian and I'm gonna interpret this however I want to interpret it.

If you look up hurt/comfort in the trope dictionary this scene is prominently featured (probably)

Listen, Jiang Cheng is doing the best he can, Wei Wuxian! YOU ARE A VERY DIFFICULT PERSON TO KEEP ALIVE AND HE HAS TO JUGGLE SO MUCH

omg now he wants a song what the fuck are you gonna do with this impossible man Lan Wangji?

oh.

God

Lan Wangji's song is basically all about how Wei Wuxian is a literal ball of sunshine and happiness and also remember when they got headband married? Lan Wangji does and he wrote a song about it

Listen - I know this is kinda cheesy but, like, I love cheese.

I've always loved cheese

Also this gives me an opportunity to CAP HIS SMILE in the beautiful desaturated haze of a digitalized representation of memory

Lan Wangji never stood a chance, tbf

I feel like if Wei Wuxian is ever gonna get a clue about Lan Wangji's feelings, it is now

And of course he faints because can Wei Wuxian actually *handle* returned affection? I'm seriously asking, guys - can he?

Um... who is allowing my child to sleep on the ground and clutch a bloody probably evil and definitely cursed sword? I just wanna talk

Oh...okay my heart.

Petition to throw a party for Jiang Cheng - we will invite everyone he knows but he will see the biggest gift will be from me and the card attached will say thank you for being Jiang Cheng

WHY IS HIS HAND STILL BLOODY AND WHY IS NO ONE SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT THE BLEEDING CREEPY MOST DEFINITELY CURSED AND PROBABLY EVIL SWORD?

Is it invisible? Are we all hallucinating? This doesn't seem like something that Jiang Cheng would miss

FAMILY REUNION.

Also, look how happy Jiang Cheng is right now - he was able to rescue and return his danger addicted brother in a time of increasing crisis and I for one am thrilled and happy for him.

Wei Wuxian looks so fragile and swoons and I am ALL ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW

Find you a person who loves their sister this much.

I love everyone at this bar

I have sooo much head canon about their childhood and Wan Wuxian's inexhaustible need to be babied by his big sister

I mean, fair point about Wei Wuxian being reckless, but like stop putting Jiang Cheng in the middle, guys

YOU ARE TEARING HIM APART

Honestly, Jiang Cheng doesn't need to hear any of this

Petition to pay for Jiang Cheng's therapy

Ummmm so like this is some hot goss for sure but maybe don't be talking about Wei Wuxian's mama* like that

(everyone knows that Wei Wuxian's real mama is Jiang Yanli in a very sad parentification sort of way)

I feel like I adopted Wei Wuxian on a whim but every scene makes me more and more certain I did the right thing by my poor hyperactive inattentive child with a heart of gold

I love them both so very very much and I want this to happen and for nothing bad to ever happen to anyone ever until the end of time forever thank you very much and good night

(I might be getting stressed about heading into 16-17 can you tell?)

This is not the first time Jiang Yanli has been her parent's go between

I want more on THIS backstory

I am extremely conflicted about this right now. On the one hand my child does not deserve such treatment and anything that upsets Jiang Cheng this much is obviously bad

On the other hand, Madam Yu is hot like fire and has a purple electric whip and I must respect her style

Petition to pay for even more of Jiang Cheng's therapy

Reader, I must confess that I have completely failed as a parent because instead of reacting with horror I IMMEDIATELY sat up and took notice

His right hand you say?

My trifecta of Lefties Only welcomes you to the family, Wei Wuxian

Jiang Cheng knows his mom and knows shit is about to go down

I'm still kinda waiting to see if Wei Wuxian gets to keep both hands and also proud of him for primarily thinking "I'm going to have to practice using my left hand more"

I mean... this is also my aesthetic

This is...

THIS IS AMAZING AND I WANT A 60 PART EPIC ABOUT THESE THREE WOMEN

Petition to let Jiang Cheng just hang out with his mom for the rest of time because he has the coolest mother ever (except for like beating the shit out of Wei Wuxian)

I am so very sad for Jiang Cheng and can't even petition on his behalf at this point - just give him some space

I... I can't deal with this face please make him stop with this face

This is not the happy family reunion I was implicitly promised

Guys the next 2 eps are supposed to even more painful but how???

Charcuterie and fancy cider and @faneunice - I have all my comfort objects and people ready to go for The Untamed episode 16

So yeah

I'm just

THEY KILLED THE YOUNGLINGS

I am very sad

@faneunice: This is awful I need to dip my ice cream in vodka

.@faneunice: I didn’t want a single perfect tear like *this*

I have nothing pithy to say about anything at all right now

I am actively upset and I want to know just where my goofball flying sword gay flute lark has gone

This is horrifying and I am horrified

And now we have this heartbreaking role reversal where Wei Wuxian is urging caution to save his brother's life

Honestly, this hit me hard.

🙁

This is not fun

THIS IS AWFUL

The terrible thing is he isn't wrong. No one has been actively wrong -- it just makes this so much more tragic

if you somehow decided to watch this show based on how much fun I was having in my recaps I am truly and sincerely sorry and please do something for your own self care now

I am not ready for a fucking rift on top of all of this, guys. I won't accept it

At least it isn't raining

oh.

The continued role reversals, the composition of these shots, it's all very aesthetically pleasing and absolutely horrific to experience

I am haunted.

Wait - how is episode 17 WORSE????

I thing you probably should not say that, Chiang Yanli

I am just softly wailing because nothing is ever gonna be okay again, is it?

This is the last time they will see each other, right?

Wei Wuxian is losing it for very valid reasons but I still remember episode 2 and I tense the fuck up anytime Wen Ning is onscreen

Wei Wuxian losing it is also causing me to tense the fuck up.

momentary relief - pretty dancers!

oh. oh no no no no no no no no no no no

ok fine start with a flashback that's fine I'm good

I might be a tad drunk but like I have just cause

I mean if they need to go burn the world down, I'm fine with that because those fuckers tortured Jiang Cheng and I WAS GONNA BUY HIM A PUPPY

Yes, at this point we need Wen Qing let's go find her

I mean this actually makes sense -- Wei Wuxian is not good at being Jiang Cheng and Jiang Cheng can't be Jiang Cheng right now because he's in a coma so shits gonna be messed up. So far it's actually not as bad as I thought it would be

Aw man no remember you two are my cinnamon roll team up squad? Let's everyone take some nice deep diaphragmatic breaths and really lean into the exhale

It's okay we can still come back from this

What?

This is not what I want

Wait, what?

Yeah no this is bad and not what I want and I am still gonna buy this man a puppy but I also need someone to promise to help take care of it and just bring in the puppy for snuggles so it isn't more work for Jiang Cheng

We can fix this right? Like, how hard can it be to like make him a new golden core? Maybe a transplant?

I am devastated but also so proud of my child for his gains in task initiation and sustained attention. It is important to identify strengths even when shit hits the fan

We have hit Sadness Stubble and there is only 15 minutes left of the episode. I'm gonna eat some chicken soup and report back in

Everyone on this show is so soft and caring and I love them all so much and so far no one has died this entire episode except maybe that one Wen dude but fuck him and also yeah Jiang Cheng's Golden Core

I have no idea how old Wei Wuxian was when he came to live with his current family but I'm guessing *young* and I'm guessing Jiang Yanli looked after him and I am positive he required A LOT of looking after.

This show is like wholesome as fuck sometimes

Have I mentioned how much I love this one doctor?

CINNAMON ROLL POWER TEAM UP TAKE TWO

I am confident this is a good sign

OH GOOD I WAS SO WORRIED

50% isn't bad! Like I was expecting Wei Wuxian to fall off a mountain at the end of this episode and instead he has like... shit to do.

Everything is going to be fine because 2 cinnamon rolls can't fuck up the world

A pause to reflect:
@faneunice: Wei Wuxian is totally going to sacrifice his own golden core to give Jiang Cheng back his isnt he? That’s gotta be where this is going. Is that how he goes evil? Does he go evil saving his brother because

Me: Me: I'm fine with that

honestly Jiang Cheng deserves that golden core

@faneunice: Yup

Me: that golden core would have been dead a long time ago without Jiang Cheng

Becca: for real

Wei Wuxian has experienced a full life of dumbassery, falling in love and missing the point and it is time to give back

LOOK AT HIM! I say you gotta do whatever it takes Wei Wuxian and I support you

It's time for more The Untamed

@faneunice I’m worried because every time we get sad people start doing that thing we used to do when someone unaware of the red wedding would be like ‘this is so bad’ before that and you knew what was coming

NOOOO this guy got out! He was supposed to be free and happy and on the road having adventures with his life partner

Is this like when someone would show back up on Supernatural and it was NEVER a good thing for them?

Ohhh wait, is sexy murder back?

Awww yeah there he is - I mean it sucks that he's a mass murderer but like, he is compelling and that's pretty much all I need

Now that Wei Wuxian has a plan, he is trying so hard to be *normal*

I feel like this is a complete 2020 Mood for real

I do love when they are BROTHERS and this is so very sibling it is painful in light of the circumstance

Yes! I know I am not supposed to want whatever it is that Wei Wuxian has planned but I don't care because someone has to get Jiang Cheng out of bed

This doesn't hurt me at all

I just... these are two very precious boys who love each other a lot and also are extremely fucked up through no fault of their own and I want the soft No Bad Things Happen AU where they get to be happy and argue a lot

I feel like when you have the "I'm so over your shit, Wei Wuxian" face down on lock, his reaction is "Oh so you know me now" & being compared to Jiang Cheng is his highest praise even if he says it sarcastically. It's not actually sarcastic and we all know it you big soft goober

Oh shit this is all a convenient lie

Aw shit this motherfucker is actually gonna sacrifice himself for Jiang Cheng. This beautiful terrible generous loving child of mine is a dummy but he is a precious dummy and god. This is gonna kill Jiang Cheng though when he finds out

I love how they both understand each other so perfectly and the friendship they have found as two cinnamon rolls trapped in an uncaring world, only able to be honest with each other - bc they are the same. I might sort of be humming "Iris(but platonic)" in my head right now

OH

MY

GOD

Wait... they did what??

WHAT MONSTER TOOK HIS PUPPIES AWAY??? THIS IS CHILD ABUSE PLEASE WHERE ARE PRINCESS, JASMINE AND LITTLE LOVE???? (also my sweet boy has sweet puppies it is all I have ever wanted)

I mean his dogs were there first! This is like "Let's See How We Can Make You Hate Your New Brother 101" level of batshit parenting. Honestly, I doubt I've forgiven any of my siblings for this and as my adopted son, Wei Wuxian can go to therapy to deal with this issue

Siblings! Babies! Baby Siblings!!!!

.@faneunice: I’m laughing because all those times Liz petitioned to get Jiang Chang a puppy. Except Wei Wuxian kind of *is* his puppy.

It's basically the origin story of the soup and honestly soup has made me cry before but not recently. Until today. Fuck

I am 1 plate of nachos and 2 beeritas into this and honestly I have seen television before -- I know that this is all just a manipulation and something will happen to make this HURT even more in like... idk the next ep?? But seriously, why just stop

OH THANK GOD

*clutches chest*

Wait, no come back!

or not, omg I have MISSED you & you won't believe what that dumbass is up to now...oh, you're busy &your focus is elsewhere? Um. Ok sure. No yeah no I get it we all have our problems & I too worry about your brother so I guess I'll just hope Wei Wuxian makes good life decisions.

I see the tables have turned, Wei Wuxian. It sucks being the responsible one doesn't it?

Everything is a ruse and a lie and I'm pretty sure this is Wen Qing in a weird hat because she is a good friend who will let you destroy your life if you just ask her nicely enough

THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT

7 *days* later??????

This does not look good -- also did Wei Qing have to cut the golden core out of him? I mean it's obvious that Wei Wuxian has Been Through Some Shit

What good is a core melting hand if there is no core?? These and other philosophical questions tonight on The Untamed!

I hope he has started using his left hand more like he said he would do 2 episodes ago

oh oh arise my fair disney prince you are truly the best of us all

it took me waaay too long to identify this as a dream sequence but to be fair Jiang Cheng has never looked more beautiful and I was distracted

he doesn't deserve this kind of psychological torment and I honestly really never see his golden core melted even in a flashback so he needs to wake up now

oh oh arise my fair disney prince you are truly the best of us all, but for real this time

We now have official confirmation that the Smart Assery Skill is not housed in the golden core, thank god

(is the golden core the magic thingy tho? Like what is it? Is it the glowy wizard sex thing Lan Wangji did back in the cave? Why is his blue then if it's a golden core?)

HAND! Not arm you evil lady! Hand! The devil's in the details but you can't bait and switch me like this

I just need to sit with this for a minute. I don't feel like he made the wrong choice and I can see how death might feel like a way to keep Jiang Cheng from ever finding out what Wei Wuxian sacrificed but also I did not want to see my dumb son welcome death

I am honestly sorta heartwarmed we get a ferocious ghost callback

I didn't pass AP English to not recognize foreshadowing when I am slapped in the face with it

I mean again, if he is unable to melt a core that doesn't exist does that mean an existential crisis for Core Melting Hand? Also, I sort of don't hate him but also fuck him because of Jiang Cheng. These are my Deep Thoughts about Core Melting Hand

Oh my

I assume the blood dripping into the bag is important?

Also, I don't hate this and probably should not be allowed to adopt Wei Wuxian

It isn't really my fault that he just is able to be tortured so well and just... it is very COMPELLING

OH I SEE NOW

Wei Wuxian doesn't go evil because he was distracted by a bird or he liked the fashion or he was seduced by Sexy Murder

On the one hand this is awful but on the other hand it is continuing to be Very Compelling

I actually don't love it when a plan comes together

This not good but is also not bad. Again, it is compelling

I KNEW THE SWORD WAS BAD NEWS -I mean it was obv bad news I'm hardly a genius for figuring out something very clearly telegraphed however it's been a hard day and I will take my wins where I can find them

Anyway, I don't blame him for any of these choices he is a blameless baby

yeah... I can't adopt him.

Damn

3 MONTHS??? THE FUCK THIS BETTER NOT KEEP HAPPENING

Guess who's back? Back again

I am having a lot of feelings but predominantly do I feel invigorated?

WHERE IS MY BOYFRIEND?!! oh also his brother

I love every single trope at this bar

The thing is -- I love "I thought you were dead" so much that I am LIVING for this angst

omg and we get "Let me hold your sword with great significance" too??? AN EMBARRASSMENT OF RICHES

This is sweet and also a nice relief from the token hets (I'm into Jiang Cheng/Wei Qing sorta but that's queer)

oh no this is now just "let me carry your sword with my sword as I stare into the middle distance in silent desperation which other people will read as stoicism" and I am here for this

This is Lan Wangji losing his shit

Why do I hear old Staind lyrics in my head right now?

YES! BEST EPISODE EVER!

There is a lot of hot in this one room and then there's Jin Zixuan

Um, my dude maybe not ALL of the Wen Clan cause like some of them are sweet teenagers and nice doctors and like old ladies who live in the mountains and have already gone through some shit

While I don't approve of the message I do respect the ferocity and style

Ok where is Meng Yao and also HOW DID YOU GUYS MISPLACE MENG YAO he's like a whole person sized person he shouldn't be easily lost unless they wander off after butterflies like a certain dummy who is now infested with evil ghosts but Meng Yao didn't seem the type

The yummy angst

TWO BROTHERS ('s swords)

This is like...oh my I am INTO this. Did Wei Wuxian get an upgrade??? WITH EVIL?

Friends - say hello to the sexiest flute player since Lizzo

The framing of this - one of the reasons I started watching was because there are so many fanworks that I was like "there will be no need to for me to do anything" and I can just enjoy ALL the vids and of course now I'm downloading all the source and making playlists

Um, Lan Wangji that is the smell of your boyfriend get used to it

that's right bb, notice alllll this evil

You know what - you desecrate the corpse of someone's mama then you just have it coming and my sweet man is justified

(I'm gonna want to vid Jiang Cheng to Prince and I'm counting on one of you to basically stop me)

WHO COULD IT BE????

Oh. So now I am FULLY into this in more than a "sure it would fine" kinda way

That's DR CINNAMON BUN to you!

I Continue to Love Her: The Ongoing Saga by Me

@faneunice: Jiang Cheng has been carrying his comb of pining this whole time?!?!? Oh, pumpkin. Also I am both concerned for Wei Wuxian because summoning evil spirits is probably not a good thing to be doing, but also kinda okay with it because those assholes deserve it.

This progression of shots were Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng both look increasingly freaked out but in their each unique and specific way is a gift

OMG Someone has been studying extra hard in Dramatic Entrance Class and I feel so very proud

I just feel really alive right now, y'know? Like I have been a very good person and maybe just maybe I will get a reward

Guys, I...

@faneunice: I’m a little convinced whoever was involved in making this show had a list of Things Liz Loves they were checking off as they went.

I want to make a really bad joke like is that your flute or are you just glad to see me but like even worse except I can't because my head is imploding

Okay this is also my aesthetic

I have the chorus from the old song "Centerfold" running through my head right now

The SECOND it looked like Core Melting Hand might touch Wei Wuxian these two guys were like "NOT ON MY WATCH" and we love to see it

He had it coming

His little face. Both of them

Reader, this broke me

I feel like it's pretty obvious that Wei Wuxian is like infected with sexy ghosts but I get that Jiang Cheng is well practiced in the art of denial

YES THANK YOU - he looks completely different (tbf he has been changing since the sword in the cave) can we acknowledge that at least?

Just this is the good stuff right here yes

Be prepared for me to basically cap everything from here on out.

I feel like the lump in Lan Wangji's throat, while not visible, is FELT here

This is so intense and painful and wonderful and why didn't people TELL me about this?

(Narrator: Everyone told her about this)

I mean, yeah - what if he refuses to answer? What are you gonna do? Hold on let me just imagine...

Aw, bb don't be mad at me didn't you miss me *pouty face*

Be strong Lan Wangji - I know this is incredibly difficult but just push through

WHAT THE FUCK HAS HAPPENED TO WEI WUXIAN AND CAN WE KEEP HIM LIKE THIS FOR FOREVER?

or maybe not forever because I still miss my ball of sunshine, rainbows and kittens, but this version can at least stay awhile

Um, guys - Jiang Cheng is still here and might be catching on to all the sexual tension

Lan Wangji is like "I can fix this but you have to come home with me"

This is what is known as a wicked burn

Oh my

So, tell me what you want, what you really really want?

LAN WANGJI WANTS WEI WUXIAN BACK DAMN IT ALL TO HELL

This man is practically frantic right now

What? Lil' ole me with wicked tricks? I just play the flute how can anyone worry about that?

But sweetie, listen to me, do you actually know? Because I think you do know and you're just willing to go for broke. Wei Wuxian's metacognition executive functioning skills, which were never strong to begin with, really took a hit in the burial mounds and there is always a price

Like on the one hand I do like it when people establish boundaries but on the other hand I also think Lan Wangji is making extremely good points

OMG

IT'S HAPPENING

*hyperventilates* are we getting a RIFT???

is this gonna become a... Bad Romance?

Jiang Cheng ,again, reminding everyone in the room that he is still there and they probably shouldn't have extremely intense not-hate sex right now

This is like, tearing out someone's throat, only with smirks

Lalalala I so don't care go suck an egg Lan Wangji I don't know why you ever thought we had a connection go be somewhere else so I don't even have to look at you lalala

OH MY SWEET BABY YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR

Look at this little hurt face? And you did it to yourself

Did you just White Fang Lan Wangji?

The sheer emoting he does here is worthy of us all just taking a moment to appreciate

Nope, that didn't hurt at all, nothing to see here, move it along

Oh honey even infested with sexy ghosts you are still a cinnamon bun and you can't even help it

WE LOVE ONE EARNEST DUMMY

he is so overwrought here and there is no possible way he could access his smirk face even if he wanted to

oh my sweet honey he tries so hard to smile and there is such real emotion

AND THE SMILE CANNOT HOLD

guys are we at, like, Dean Winchester levels of symmetry and emoting?

the tenderness he allows from his sister is always just so sweet

My fair prince is finally able to relax

Honestly, I want to just stop here and savor Jiang Cheng's happiness because he has the two most important people in front of him again and he thought Wei Wuxian was dead and now he gets a chance to just... look at his face y'all GAZE UPON IT AND TREMBLE

Aw my little sweetie pie stops by and establishes... something? Wei Wuxian doesn't like to be touched now? I mean his sister is an exception? Or is it specific body parts? Or is he just in PTSD hypervigilance mode? Any of these would make sense and this requires further study

Seriously guys, Staind lyrics and it's not healthy for me

But I'm on the outside
I'm looking in

This is not the Lan Wangji vid I will make but when I make one please believe that if you want to take the video part and put it over this song, it will line up perfectly.

Hot Daddy is hosting the World's Most Awkward "Welcome Back and Thanks for Killing All Those People" banquet

What a great and exciting moment for Wei Wuxian to be surrounded by family and friends and peers to celebrate in his triumphant return and...oh. Well, I guess not everyone could make it?

This sword thing isn't gonna go away Wei Wuxian and I love that you think you can just shrug it off and carry on like nothing has changed (everything has changed) but I also hate it

Sweetie pie there's a lot going on with you, isn't there? He seems so uncomfortable and I would like to suggest maybe I should adopt Nie Huaisang - I know I failed Wei Wuxian as a potential parent but I honestly think I have the skills to do right by this sensitive child

Some rando gives us the TITLE of the series and also people need to step off Wei Wuxian's neck before a sexy ghost gets mad (If I was a sexy ghost I would be soooo possessive of him - hee, possessive, get it?)

Sweetie pie breaks the tension by jumping to the most blood thirsty topic possible (I love this child) but Wei Wuxian just doubles down and makes it worse for himself which is honestly a character trait that seems to have carried over even through his big change

oh hon, you are not equipped for this and I worry a lot about you

An aside: Upon further refection (and let's be honest, repeated viewings of the reunion scene) it comes to my attention that there are some similarities present. Is Wei Wuxian channeling Sexy Murder or is this just a case of Hot Evil being Hot Evil across multiple domains?

@faneunice: I can deal with my own feelings about Wei Wuxian going evil, but I don’t know if I can survive Lan Wangji’s feelings about it

@faneunice: I also don’t know if I can survive Wei Wuxian’s feelings about Lan Wangji’s feelings about Wei Wuxian going evil

So um, not to be a Negative Nancy but y'all realize you're too bloodthirsty for the dude infested with sexy evil ghosts, right?

The Concerned Faces Council should probably schedule that meeting sooner than later

My fake vid continues to live, uninvited in my head:

I can see through you
See your true colors🎶

🎶All the times
That I've cried
All that's wasted
It's all inside🎶
I promise I'm not vidding it but this is how my head works and you basically signed up for this ride if you have followed the thread so far. Also, I just swapped POV w/o establishing shots and I wouldn't do that

Jiang Cheng knows what's up.

No one is gonna fall for his Vamp Willow act

Jiang Cheng was ready to excuse his brother for being a little weird but this banquet has really shaken him and like -- his job is to make sure Wei Wuxian stays out of trouble and it's a fulltime job with really shitty benefits of late

Ok so your first point: Accurate
Your second point: Hon, they can throw you off a mountain

This performative normal is not fooling anyone, least of all your brother

I have so much to say about this and a very limited character allotment so I guess I'll just focus mainly on how I am extremely into this sexy hot evil meditation but I am also concerned that he is sort of mentally still in the burial mounds and also he seems so sick it hurts

This show has done such a good job at establishing Wei Wuxian's nightmare would be hurting his sister-mother and fuck she is gonna die, isn't she?

Dude, your flute bit your sister! This is all very worrisome and I know you are struggling, I can tell, you look like I did right after Lasik, but let's establish that Nothing Is Going Well for You

ooooh now this is a nice transition

I am a sucker for Noble Repression now has to question if he has built his life upon the wrong set of rigid beliefs due to the influence of an adorable scamp with a flexible moral code, but that's just me

I think it's honestly easier for him to do his performative normal with Yanli because he can still access that headspace

Also, "don't worry I'm still just your cutie pie" is very much a foundation of this relationship

It's too hard to cut any of these caps so I'll just take this time to let you know that @sweetestdrain has finished the series and maybe needs support? I can't tell because she is not spoiling me

@sweetestdrain: I just went to watch my first Untamed vid since starting to watch the show and three clips in I screamed "NOOOO" from emotions

this might be tricky

This show is the greatest work of art humans have ever achieved

my current status about this bag

Oh this motherfucker better shut his face right now because he doesn't even KNOW Wei Wuxian like that

Lan Xichen is good at diplomacy but also imagine if he had been your third grade teacher, how much better your school experience would have been

I have nothing to add here except I like looking at this screencap so you're welcome

Oh no! Also, what's happening???

I am just going with this because I find it extremely intriguing and will figure it out later

Dr. Cinnamon Bun, NOOOO! YOU ARE THE BEST PERSON ON THIS SHOW

Honestly, I can't fault Wei Wuxian for losing control here because I also wanted to do violence

The Evil Flute of Righteousness is my band name

In case you were wondering where in my "Iris (but platonic)" mental not-vid I'm at it's

🎵When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive🎶

My brain works in a very specific way

slight correction - I posted the wrong long shot of Wen Qing above - it should have been this one which is just slightly different but way more emotionally effective as a recognition micro-expression that captures so much going on here

Wei Wuxian's continued expert showings of The Dramatic Entrance are just a huge meant to be sign for being compatible with Lan Wangji

Imagine if they had kids and you were babysitting and their toddler was like THAT every time he entered a room?

The ability to not answer Lan Xichen is actually a pretty impressive skill as I would immediately confess to ANYTHING if his sincere concerned face was in front of me

Oh my precious, what a brave toaster you continue to be

What you just felt? Was the ground shifting under Lan Wangji's feet

ooooh head vid shift suddenly from Staind (thank god)

🎶Listen to your heart when he's calling for you
Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do

Lan Wangji doing his best to overcome cognitive distortions like all or nothing thinking is what I am here for and I love him so very much and also can we just all like stand and give Lan Xichen a round of applause for knocking this one out of the park?

Speaking of not everything is definable in a neat little category...

Guys, you are just so very messy aren't you

Lan Xichen is like "?" and Lan Wangji is like "." and Lan Xichen is then like "!"

This is what catching a clue looks like

So I realize I have invited friends over for social distance backyard food, drink and fire pit and I have sat on my sofa all day and have no food, no drink and also no fire pit

Luckily the friends are the @sweetestdrain's and they know what's up

I mean this is absolutely true - the rift was not Wei Wuxian's decision. He just did everything he possibly could to ensure that it happened but he didn't call anything off.

The pining is just...

the teasing is such a nice return to wholesome thank you show for being soft

The fact that the smile isn't naturally on his face WOUNDS me

In the PINES, in the PINES
Where the sun don't ever shine...

I think Wei Wuxian's biggest priority is that Jiang Cheng and Yanli NEVER find out any of what happened in the past 3-4 months and preserving the normality of his relationship with his siblings seems like the only thing keeping him from going over the edge right now

Why is this show so satisfying right now??

Just - the idea of letting his sister down is anathema and the show has done such a great job setting this up

It's so nice to just want something and then get it wrapped up in a bow with my name on it

THIS. SHOW. IS. ART.

Sure, he beat you because he's been practicing. Honey, no one is falling for that

See?

Honestly, at this point Lan Wangji needs to know about the golden core sacrifice and hell, he's guessed about the burial mounds you aren't exactly good at deception, Wei Wuxian

This is the Good Place

🎶I know there's something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah

If I have to have this thought then I'm sharing it

Guys this is how trust is formed

YES! Tell him about it - tell him everything you feel

-shit did I just change songs? I will allow Staind but I refuse to Billy Joel

There is just so much caring here and I don't think Wei Wuxian is used to this coming from anyone outside his family

Vulnerability is so important in forming a last relationship

It's so good that Wei Wuxian is talking about and acknowledging this and letting someone else express care for him - I'm so proud of this grown up man

I am now desperately afraid he will degenerate into demonic cultivation but I'm also all about being mindful so I'm gonna just focus on the moment.

I feel like he's being as sincere as he knows how to be

Oh god this composition feels so theatrical and yet I love it so much

I have so much to say!

First - omg I'm dying
Second - is this the first real smile that isn't performative that is just because Wei Wuxian is happy since the burial mounds?

It's basically this, right?

Except Lan Wangji is Aeryn Sun (OBVIOUSLY)

Yeah you will

(Hot Daddy just really brings it every time he is onscreen)

I know the rift and subsequent pining happened over the course of just 2 episodes but they felt like forever to me (possibly because I stopped to cap every scene but I'm not known for my restraint)

I did not know we were calling Jin Zixuan a peacock but I support it from this point forward.

ALSO HORSES! Also, Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian wanted to ride out with YOU, you don't have to question it, just accept it

I think Wei Wuxian's heart grows three sizes every time Lan Wangji teases him on purpose. I can't tell if it's pride or some deep set need to flirt or a combo of both but I approve

awwww sweetie pie

THIS CHARMING MAN

I've seen further in the ep but I was suspicious from the start because he is obviously being kept out of focus for a reason and there are very few established characters this could be

I am absolutely fine with obvious narrative choices you understand

Why is this so funny to me?

He loves his sister and hates the peacock and he is a precious being

I am fine with this

Um... it might be getting a bit out of hand

meep

No show does a wrist grab like this show

I am so tired and yet I can't stop why am I like this and omg why do I love this so much please send help

The power of their combined chins alone means I'm here for it

This just feels like a poorly negotiated open relationship and I am concerned about the lack of communication.

Oh this hurts

Also, I found Meng Yao, you can stop looking

It's 2am but I was not gonna stop capping until I got to this.

I love this so much I've watched it 1000 times and even used another program so I could get better caps.

This is the Trope-fest Content we are all here for

oh no! not Daddy!

The cost of this war has been too great

Clan Leader Action Bros*

*sold separately

This would also work as a wedding photoshoot, just saying (maybe nix all the dread but it's still very much Partners)

Also, can you imagine???

Photographer: okay big smiles everyone!

Lan Wangji: No

Same vibe

Guys, I mean just - how much do we love?

THIS FACE

Just, guys

He KNOWS Wei Wuxian isn't the fighter he used to be and so he COMPENSATES and it's truly like a wish fulfilment list, everything on this show

TEAMWORK

I know I'm recapping waaaay too much and I'll probably be able to cut down to more reasonable reactions per episode but that day is Not Today

This look says so much

This show loves to do a pan up the flute shot and I love it every single time

TFW you are trying to stay focused on business but you also need to keep an eye on your boyfriend because while he may be a dummy, he is your dummy

Guys, Lan Wangji is BUSY, quit trying to cut off his head he has important feels to feel

I love this shot every single time: take one billion

This seems more controlled, right? Is he getting better at this?

Yeah, Lan Wangji knew

Guess who's back, back again

I am not sure what's happening but I support it fully and wish to subscribe to the newsletter

I want to make a cheap dick joke here but this material really deserves a better person than me

This feels important

OK! YES! That's the thing they were kicking around in the first ep intro and we couldn't figure out what it meant and I told Becca to just let it wash over her and eventually it will make sense and I suppose I was right but I was also wrong because it still doesn't make sense

Not Pictured: Wei Wuxian fucking all this dude's shit up

Any last words motherfucker?

Wei Wuxian is just so tired and also he doesn't have a golden core and I think that means something

There is some poor fan out there who made a deal with a crossroads demon and we are all reaping the benefits of it

THIS SHOW

Lan Wangji is like, "okay sure" ATTENTION IMMEDIATELY BACK ON HIS BOYFRIEND

I am relieved and also, to no one's shock or surprise, into it

This is so messy omg I feel like I should not be watching but I'm gonna watch the hell out of it

I would like to take a second and personally address Lan Xichen,

hey, you ok? I know things got really complicated sorta fast and you're trying, but baby doll, your brother is in love with Wei Wuxian and somehow that is the healthiest relationship on this show. Honey, how?

So, due to conversation a few minutes ago, I happen to have Gold Dust Woman running through my head so right now I'm hearing

Did she make you cry
Make you break down
Shatter your illusions of love
And is it over now do you know how
Pick up the pieces and go home

Is it weird that Lan Xichen being so competent and with it with everything else but having a messy as fuck romantic life just makes me love him more?

This is...awkward

He is a dear heart and I'm glad he got some rest

Someone has figured out about the missing golden core, right?? RIGHT?

His broken little face just kills me and he is ONLY like this with his sister - he just wants her approval and for her to be happy and he is the best boy in all the world

Lan Wangji? Um, no I don't like him not one bit quit looking at me

Wei Wuxian we have been through this soooo much, ok one more time:

Lan Wangji is super into you and you did not imagine it and please just once be chill

Narrator: Wei Wuxian, however; did not know *how* to be chill

So guys look - you are no longer the biggest disaster gays on this show, not by a LONG shot so maybe make eye contact?

Or, you know, don't

sigh

Yanli is like "I would rather be surround by putrid wounds and constant death" and fucks right off because she is possibly the most socially adept person on the show, currently

(this is not a huge compliment)

The noises I am making are just not fit for other humans to hear

I keep asking how is this real and I know it is real but then it just gets realer

Shit, did Lan Wangji fix Wei Wuxian's ADHD?

Pretty sure the lyrics to this song are basically "when I get that feeling, I want sexual healing" loosely translated

I can work with this

Lan Wangji for a dude who doesn't say much this was a very big potential mistep

Still the best communication of anyone else on the show

Lan Wangji has to know, right???

Oh, bless him, he is basically asking "do you think I'm evil?" and even infested with a 1000 ferocious ghosts, Wei Wuxian is still the least evil thing in the world. Generally speaking

Remember - assertive language and lot's of "I feel statements" and be ready to compromise but not on your non-negotiables

ixnay on talking about the secret fuck house hideaway-ay

Is being completely out of their depth in romance a Lan family trait?

This has a real sister wives feel to it that I'm pretty sure Hot Daddy never consented to

Also, wow that bow was super inappropriate

Second also, is the 4th shard of the Yin Iron in Meng Yao's dimples because he's got Lan Xichen on LOCK

Dear reddit, AITA for basically doing war crimes?

Okay yeah this doesn't bother me at all since I no longer remember anything at all about the series intro and have wiped my memory accordingly

(tbf I mostly just remember the bloody grip)

continual hurt comfort like this doesn't come around everyday and when you find it you have to latch hold and never let go

I can't believe Lan Wangji hasn't kidnapped him and run off to an island somewhere, tbh

Did Lan Wangji just ask Wei Wuxian if he wanted to come over and look at his records*?

*Modern AU Lan Wangji has an extensive collection of vinyl that he keeps in perfect temperature controlled shelving and he does not let anyone handle his albums, and I won't believe otherwise

I would also like to know

So wait -- it was actually invisible and no one else could see it? Because that makes a fuckton of sense since he was clutching that thing and covered in blood for a week

There is so much that needs to happen like right now

I feel like I'm watching Lan Wangji's heart breaking in real time and he isn't even trying to hide it

It's like he is handing Wei Wuxian a valentine that says "I choo-choo-choose you"

I mean, Wei Wuxian is right - besides communication the other pillar of a relationship is trust

Lan Wangji has never been this close to losing it in his entire life, am I right?

Oh god I do NOT need another Mark of Cain storyline in my life although surely it will be better here than it was on Supernatural.

I would have burst into tears if I felt anything at like what Lan Wangji is putting down right here

Iconic

Ok yes @Bonibaru told me about the war crimes, I remember that part, and I think about Lan Xichen although the show has basically delivered that to me in a very unsubtle plate which I appreciate

"Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry"

Just let me die here

I can feel the significance even if I don't yet understand it

Seriously, every single time

It's very moving whatever is happening

Ok wait

Who's idea was it to have a commitment ceremony because you guys are NO WHERE CLOSE to being ready for this.

I guess we are going for a throuple now - I can see some Bat Family dynamics at play here so I will reserve judgement other than to say the Robin is Jason Todd

This is the only time I will ever agree with Clan Leader Jin - yes he is very young and promising but you forgot handsome and smart and caring and loyal and talented and hardworking

Guys, this moment is about Jiang Cheng not your incredible inner turmoil and attraction

Poor Jiang Cheng - always a bridesmaid

Hot Daddy you better get your house in order.

As someone who endured an older sibling's terrible first wedding, Lan Wangji leaving and focusing on his needs is a very positive sign towards growth. That or he's like feeling encouraged to be a hot mess due to idolization of his brother -- I hope for one but expect the other

If this gets any more overwrought I'm gonna have Air Supply playing in my head

I just - is this flirting Lan Family Style?

yeah and Wei Wuxian stays outside and doesn't go back into the banquet and over-extend himself to fix things for his sister. This was an interesting way to end the episode

I've watched too much Game of Thrones because I kept waiting for him to poison the old man

Home

YOU CAN DO IT AND YOU SHOULD DO IT

The Zidian is like... I mean, I am glad it exists

Of course it's true, you know what's happening here and it's time everyone just accepts it because I don't think any Lan is the type to just get over someone else

Guys, it is too late to lock this down the Wei Wuxian barn door has let out all the Lan Wangji horses. Or something

Lan Wangji is soooo close to snapping isn't he? Like he is a rubber band and he is almost at his limit. Not quite but almost and y'all should just let him into the forbidden chamber because he's gonna do it anyway.

It's like when preacher's kids go to college

Speaking of cracking up, Jiang Cheng is just so stressed about being the new leader and isn't he supposed to have help?

Listen this is not a good look right now Wei Wuxian -- Jiang Cheng needs you to grow up w/ him and you're still clinging to the past. I get it - you are dealing with extensive physical and mental trauma but you are better than this darlin'
Also your boyfriend's brother is here

There is SO MUCH happening in this scene and so much is being said and not being said and I'm here for it and the resigned way Wei Wuxian is just gonna drink his way through it

The thing is - this is the ONE thing he can't do and he can't tell anyone why but it's also the one thing he needs to do

I'm so interested in how he is playing off his reputation as being arrogant in order to get away with no one noticing he CAN'T pick up the sword again.

He's walking such a tight line and I feel for him but still, Jiang Cheng needs you

Things have changed except Wei Wuxian can't let Jiang Cheng know how much things have changed and the performative stuff that was being stretched so thin mid war is like crumbling right now

Everyone needs so much trauma therapy

SO MUCH

There is no bad guy here there is just complicated dynamics and hurt and no way to bridge it that Wei Wuxian is willing to cross because Jiang Cheng can never ever know and it will always come back to that.

So now we have these traumatized children acting like adults and just making a mess and I honestly think they are both terrified, all the time, right now

but like therapy could help with some of this - at least with Jiang Cheng's inferiority cognitions and Wei Wuxian's startle response

It would be a start

God, again he allows himself to be so vulnerable with Yanli

This is totally and completely HEARTBREAKING and like I can write so much about regression and trauma but also I think part of this is just THEM - she plays mama and he plays baby and this has been their dynamic since he was adopted

Aw, also she is the ONLY adult he knows that isn't related to Lan Wangji

WHAT NO! OF COURSE NOT! AND WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ASK ABOUT LAN WANGJI, I MEAN ANYONE?

These are children and they are trying so hard to be normal

Let's just be normal brothers and honestly? The person that wrote this bit has a brother

WWX just lets this go but the underlying theme of his talent vs Jiang Cheng's talent vs the circumstances of their births, well Madam Yu did a number on them both in different ways. And yet everything is different and WWX is trying to plug up all the leaks before anyone notices

Ok so first of all I am so proud of my delinquent clam!

Secondly, Lan Wangji got like a whiff of the D and decided to basically abandon his entire moral code

I mean if he's a teenager this completely tracks

This is adorable and yet the only reason it has to be here is because the pain is gonna get cranked up soon, so I can't even properly enjoy it because it is here to make me SAD

THIS IS ALL HE WANTS

ok, honestly yawn

This is the best part of that stuff and now let's move on

God they are such dorks

Sure an archery contest with live incentives to hit the target - my cinnamon bun is properly outraged

God this moment where WWX backs down for Jiang Cheng is just...gah

DORKS

So. In. Love.

I LOVE how he has to shut this archery thing down before anyone gets hurt and so he decides to just... go all out on being himself and sure let's fire 6 arrows will blindfolded and hit 6 bullseyes.

Why not? Is it arrogance if it's true?

you know Lan Wangji has never been this attracted to another being in his entire life and he hates it

He's so excited to see Lan Wangji again but also has really taken Lan Xichen's words to heart and we hate to see one cinnamon bun so sad and alone

Luckily, Lan Wangji has peripheral vision so this was never really an issue, we should all relax and let them have their awkward courtship in peace

Wei Wuxian opens with a tease and Lan Wangji responds in the most earnest way possible which really heightens the mood

If someone doesn't make me go to bed I stg I will just try to smash his face on this other face. This is slow burn torture except it's really a burn isn't it?

Here, have a grab and run

Wei Wuxian is really intent on eavesdropping and Lan Wangji is just really really enjoying this moment. Don't get me wrong he wants to stop WWX from doing anything rash which is why he has to keep touching him the entire time. For safety

This fucking asshole just... I wish Jiang Cheng was here but also Jiang Cheng is under so much stress to not disappoint his dead parents or the people of Yunmeng, that he isn't as dependable but this is awful

GAAAAAHHHHHH

OMG it's so bad we need one other person who loves Wei Wuxian to like FLANK HIM

Ok so like, big sister has got this

His hurt face when she apologizes for him and her tucked head "wait a damn minute" gesture. This is his mom, y'all

He just has to stand here and take it and also Lan Wangji is entertaining fantasies of whisking him away on horseback and sunsets and walks on the beach anything anything at all to make Wei Wuxian's face stop doing that

Hold up y'all - see the thing is YOU NEVER FUCK WITH THE BIG SISTER

This is her BROTHER (son) and no one talks about Yanli's brother (son) like that

Yanli is the best and Wei Wuxian has reached Dean Winchester levels FULLY of both symmetry and emoting and I am pleased for them both. Now he can stop making that face AT ANY TIME NOW

Madame Jin is like "apologize you idiot, someone decent HAS to marry my son!"

LAN WANGJI LOVES THE SADDEST BOY IN THE WORLD

Madam Jin needs to shut her mouth

Oh this is too much, no now look at his face look what you made his face do, Madam Jin - are there any Jins that aren't dicks?

It's not like he has early childhood deprivation or abandonment issues DEAR GOD SOMEONE STOP ME FROM STEPPING THROUGH THIS SCREEN

ooookay

are the heterosexuals ok?

Jiang Cheng showing up 15 minutes late with Starbucks

Lan Wangji is channeling Ariana Grande's "and what about it" gif in that last frame and I'm living for it

We can talk about everyone shit talking Wei Wuxian to his brother OR we can talk about how fabulous Jiang Cheng looks today and how he is really wearing that look

THIS IS SO WELL DONE

I love every single things about how this scene is shot and cut and just it's amazing

Remember our fake vid "Iris (but platonic)"?
So we are in the last part of the chorus before the bridge RIGHT HERE:

"when everything's made to be broken"

"I just want you to know who I am"

Oh, I forgot to tell you we are vidding the Boyz 2 Men cover and the instrumentation is very similar to the Goo Goo Dolls but there is singing all over the bridge because it's Boyz 2 Men

So the bridge kicks in with "oh, hey, don't wanna be all alone"

"Don't wanna be out here on my own (no-ooo-o)"

"No one knows me, quite the way you know me"

"and I'll be lonely without you here beside me, please believe me"

And this is what it is like, in my head, all the time

Aw, I'm glad Lan Xichen is checking in with Lan Wangji - he has had a very turbulent day full of new emotions and urges

God, his little face just gearing up - my brave little toaster is GONNA SPEAK HIS TRUTH

I like how Lan Xichen repeats each part of Lan Wangji's statement like they don't fit together at all and come on now -- listen Lan Xichen this is *hardly* coming out of the blue, you've already gone to "the man" and made this offer to him recently

Normally, this might be a little creepy, but since it is my brave little toaster, this is actually A REALLY GOOD IDEA

We already know he is unwilling to go but that is because he HAS TO HAVE LOVE and if you offer him that he might take it after the day he's had. I mean - he's reuniting with Wen Qing but after (take Dr Cinnamon Bun and hide her too)

I AM SCREAMING I KNOW YOU HEARD IT FOR I AM LOUD

GUYS - we are halfway finished with this recap. I'm sure everything is gonna be kittens in mittens from here on out.

Somebody who broke away from the Gusu Lans to form his own sect shows up and it's an insult to the Lans (I think this is what is happening) and Lan Wangji's extreme bitch face makes me so happy. Just, if someone looked at me like that I would need treatment for frostbite.

Lan Xichen is "bae, why did you invite him?" and Meng Yao is like "oops, I'm a tiny baby who didn't know better" and flashes his dimples and Lan Xichen is all *melts* because he is blinded by the dimples and says it isn't Meng Chao's fault he didn't know

Narrator: Meng Chao definitely knew

Sweetie Pie is super excited to see Jiang Cheng at the banquet, as anyone would be, and Jiang Cheng is looking around for Wei Wuxian even though he JUST told him he was going to Lanling to "look around" which in Wei Wuxian-ian means "drink"

Our boy continues his incredible streak of Dramatic Entrances - he's fresh off from seeing Wen Qing and he is PISSED

He still has a lot of stairs to climb so in the meantime Clan Leader Jin continues to acknowledge the general amazingness of Jiang Cheng so again I am forced to agree but besides just being a teenage hero, Jiang Cheng is also dutiful, perceptive and has a great eye for design

Wei Wuxian is still running up that hill, meanwhile The World's Biggest Asshole is peer pressuring the Lan brothers to share a toast with him

Everyone is super alarmed because they don't drink, it's kind of a thing with them, and while Lan Xichen drank with Wei Wuxian like 2 episodes ago -- it was weird and he had a reason.

Hot Daddy is soooo concerned

Meng Chao, that absolute fucker, practically jizzes in his pants over how fucked up this situation is and I guess the excitement of watching Lan Xichen break his principles.

I mean I don't kink shame but this seems to lack full consent and therefore is not okay, Meng Chao.

Lan Xichen gets peer pressured into drinking like a Very Special Episode of Saved By the Bell and I feel like Hot Daddy makes an excellent Kelly Kapowski silently willing "Zach don't do it"

Who on The Untamed would make a good Lisa Turtle? Discuss amongst yourselves

Lan Xichen, you beautiful fool, your channeling of Zach Morris has left your baby brother exposed to the same.

Lan Wangji has no Saved By the Bell counterpart - Jessie Spano would be the closest but she is just too excited and also scared to really fit

In a moment that Saved By the Bell could NEVER PULL OFF, Wei Wuxian announces his arrival by tossing back the peer pressured alcohol.

It's like an early Taylor Swift video come to life mostly because NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO MAKE LAN WANGJI DRINK EXCEPT FOR WEI WUXIAN THAT ONE TIME

Wei Wuxian then dominates the Coolest Boyfriend In the World early season draft by facing off against The World's Biggest Asshole

The sun is shining, birds are singing and I feel so ALIVE

Wei Wuxian gets into it with The World's Biggest Asshole and then refuses to drop it because like, lives are at stake and meanwhile Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng are both at various levels of freaking out

The Jin Clan Leader wants Wei Wuxian to give him the Stygian Tiger Amulet and Wei Wuxian is like "didn't we just fight a war about this with the Wens, are you the new Wens" and everyone is like HE SAID WHAT???

Wei Wuxian goes after The World's Biggest Asshole for, again, war crimes, and The World's Biggest Asshole proves he has The World's Smallest Brain when he doubles down on endorsing killing

Wei Wuxian is like, "oh you want killing? I CAN SHOW YOU SOME MURDER"

Lan Wangji then becomes even more alarmed and is like "Oh, shit, while my boyfriend is currently at absolute hottest he has ever been, he is also one second away from losing control and maybe leveling this place, etc"

He is very tense and feeling so many things

So the thing is - Wei Wuxian is like "yo don't kill innocent civilians caught in the crosshairs of an interclan war" and he is right to say it but also he's had A Very Rough Year so please excuse him losing it.

There are several rack focuses from Chenqing to Lan Wangji in this scene and the tension is so goooooood as my brave little toaster attempts to use the might of his stare to pull Wei Wuxian back

Wei Wuxian isn't playing chicken and he needs The World's Biggest Asshole to understand that he is not making a threat - he's making a promise

I mean, I'm super into this - WWX is doing "One Two Three Magic" but with ferocious ghosts instead of time out as the final consequence.

THE TENSION

IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

WWX smirks and then shares a loaded look with LWG, and then says "smell ya later" to the rest of the gathered gentry

Wei Wuxian OUT

Clan Leader Jin has anger management problems and it's all just adding to the incredible stress Jiang Cheng is under

The good doctor reunites with her fellow cinnamon bun on a rescue mission that is in no way whatsoever doomed

Other things happen that I am NOT screencapping

Meanwhile, LWG grows tired of listening to CERTAIN people talk shit about WWX

Lan Wangji stands up for his boo and also morality in general and everyone is shocked face except Meng Chao who just dimples all creepily

Lan Wangji then leaves cause he is too good to stay in a room with all these assholes and also he needs to go help Wei Wuxian

Jiang Cheng is cracking so much under the pressure that he shatters a cup in his hand which is HARD TO DO

Things happen that I cannot screen cap and will probably never watch again unless it's to work out some issues with a vid

At the prison camp, Wen Qing and WWX find Wen Ning and he's been impaled with a flag and thrown down a hill to die and it's raining

It's a lot

Wei Wuxian then makes A Dramatic Entrance back at the prison camp where the guards have decided the best way to handle this situation is just to start killing prisoners indiscriminately

Like, I'm proud that he can strike this much fear in the hearts of truly evil people but I also have seen him pretend to be 3 so his big sister would baby him sooooo

So like - we know Meng Chao knows where this place is because he's talked about it before and we know Clan Leader Jin is experimenting on people and is obsessed with the Stygian Tiger Amulet

Wei Wuxian is just horrified and grief stricken

The casual murder of innocent people is just - like he is SO YOUNG but also has been through so much and he just can't let this thing continue and the people he would turn to for help aren't doing anything about it and so he has to act because he can't abide letting it continue

I remember the second episode as he calls forth this... ok this next part is just really upsetting

I mean I think WWX was just going to use Wen Ning as a puppet except he can't control him and Wen Ning just starts murdering everyone which I honestly don't have a problem with other than just the facts surrounding this everything are disturbing

This is all super fucked up

Wei Wuxian like...wills the force back inside his body??? It looks painful but he does it

I... this is so fucked up

This is awful

I am devastated

oh no

Wei Wuxian is like just acting right now and this is maybe his absolute lowest point (up until now, I get it guys this show is full of pain) - like everything else he has gone through was just cumulative to this and he's just gonna try to save as many people as he can

This is not what I wanted

I do not want this

oh god

are you here to stop me?

ok just - he has no idea "but the world is wide there must be a place for us" is such a fucking romantic way to put this damn his eyes

Lan Wangji is still trying to put this all back together somehow and all he can see is the *finality* of what is happening

Wei Wuxian can't live under this anymore

which one??

OH GOD THAT ONE

they are so sweet and innocent omg I hate this

The disillusionment is complete - childhood is over and they won't let Wei Wuxian stand with justice so does he have to now live with regrets?

This cuts so deep - he really believed in it all - he lived the sacrifice and he survived and it's just brought him to this place where nothing means anything

brb gotta go lie down and cry for awhile

The resignation on this beautiful face

I get this is recapping and not vidding and so rack focus and pan shots probably are extraneous but I can't start a vid until I know what happens and I need to do SOMETHING with this source

This is some sweeping epic romance shit right here and I am too devastated to enjoy it

I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE OMG

this is too much and god

Just freeze this moment and if we never watch any further than we can imagine ANYTHING happening like suddenly aliens invade and they get beamed up on board

Lan Wangji moves so stiffly here -- like he can't quite feel his body or make it work and it's just another blow in a series of escalating blows

My heart hurts

this is not okay

oh god he's really gonna do it

he's just gonna drop it all right here right now why is life even

This show should be called The Unfair

This seems fine and in no way ominous

"ROUSes? Personally, I don't think they exist"

oh honey no

Things are not going all that great for anyone but the absolute total pricks on this show

The gentry decide amongst themselves that genocide is absolutely the right and moral path and not at all self-serving and much like using prisoners as targets at the archery competition, no one else says shit.

I mean, almost no one says shit -- Lan Wangji speaks up and defends Wei Wuxian from lies because he is having a huge internal crisis of faith and was recently observed crying in the rain

Meng Yao/Jin Guangyao (whom I'm tempted to call Fuck Face bc I'm tired of him jerking me around & I refuse to be a Lan Xichen) is like "Oh WWX talks all the time you probably just missed it"

He then insinuates that LWG is hot for the WWX dick, which while true, is not the point

Lan Wangji tries but he is unable to murder people with his mind as they talk about A VERY PRIVATE TIME IN HIS LIFE IN PUBLIC

Like his uncle/dad is right there, guys - hasn't he been through enough

and then

AND THEN

Mianmian happens - normally she's following the peacock around and whatever and the last time anyone really talked about her it was in the cave where WWX missed the point so badly he was in a different game, but WWX took a brand for her and so she speaks up

Mianmian is like "my dudes, there is a big difference between death on a field of battle and the murder of helpless civilians and prisoners of war"

And this is apparently AN OUTRAGEOUS suggestion

When I was 19 I worked at a texas roadhouse-like restaurant. I scooped peanuts, cashed out checks & occasionally had to sing the part of You Never Even Call Me By My Name that everyone knows with the rest of the front of the house workers, no matter if we were in the weeds or not

It was awful. We had to wear jean shorts and this ugly logo tee shirt and I never could scrub the smell of peanuts out of my skin

One amazing night one of the servers in the bar had enough of our prick of a GM and ripped off her tee shirt and tossed it in his face and walked

She marched out of that "steakhouse" in a black bra, jean shorts and newly discovered dignity and I have never forgotten it

Reader, in this same spirit, Mianmian casts off tyranny and crushed peanuts thrown on the floor FOR US ALL

LWG would never step foot in an establishment where peanuts were given to patrons in buckets at the door & the shells were just THROWN ON THE FLOOR & has never even heard of David Allen Coe bc LWG is a good person, even so, he is inspired & also leaves but remains fully clothed

Jiang Cheng has an internal nervous breakdown and just needs everyone to stop talking for just a minute and let him THINK

Me and Hot Daddy agree: Fuck Face needs to stop

Lan Xichen is wondering "How Ya Gonna Keep 'em Down on the Farm (After They've Seen Paree)?"

Truer words have never been said, Hot Daddy

Also, I'm pretty sure if Hot Daddy looks at you like that you could get pregnant, so be careful.

Wen Ning is only mostly dead and WWX is really trying to be his best Miracle Max self and fix this (I know this is the second Princess Bride/Burial Mounds comparison but I doubt it is the last)

Honestly, the Burial Mound seems kinda homey now - I've lived in worse neighborhoods

FUCK ME WHAT IS HAPPENING????

NOPE

I refuse. No. HOLY SHIT

WHY A BABY???

I love this and I hate it and I will never be the same

Wei Wuxian is the dude with a "no ragrets" tattoo and Lan Wangji is the dude in love with a dude with a "no ragrets" tattoo so I really think the uncle is wasting energy here

Lan Wangji has deliberately broken a rule, let his boyfriend incite rebellion of a sort, and cried in the rain

DO NOT TALK ABOUT HIS PARENTS TO HIM HE IS HAVING A VERY BAD DAY

LWG's uncle pulls a Fred Sanford and it works on LWG because he is a sweet child who has never ever done anything even slightly bad on purpose, just the world got really complicated and also hormones

My Brave Little Toaster has an internal whirlwind of fierce passion

Me: My autocorrect changed it to delicious cultivation

@sweetestdrain: that's in the fic

Speaking of delicious...

Jiang Cheng shows up at the burial mounds expecting all sorts of deviance

and instead he gets... farmers

WWX immediately goes into his "this is completely normal" routine but Jiang Cheng can't yet get to that headspace

I mean this is as far as WWX has gotten in admitting any of the terrible shit that has happened to him, right?

Also, just of note, I used screen cap 13,588 (they are in a series from 1) and we are just on ep 27 because I have no, absolutely none, restraint

That is no way to speak to your nephew, Jiang Cheng!

PARENTING!

also, I think it is really killing Jiang Cheng that Wei Wuxian has made connections and found family here when Jiang Cheng is supposed to be Wei Wuxian's found family!

I mean... right?

I'm honestly gonna need Wei Wuxian to lay off the parental vibe with this baby for now because I am already having complicated feelings - I DO NOT NEED THIS

Dr Cinnamon Bun is like "the fuck you're gonna see my brother" and Wei Wuxian is like so trusting and this is messed up because remember how Jiang Cheng carried that fucking comb around for like forever?

This is completely normal and not awkward at all

Nothing to see here

Wei Wuxian is Elle Woods' whatlikeitshard.gif

I actually don't have any screencaps of the next bit because I got so upset I forgot how to hit buttons

I'm concerned that my emotions are getting the way of my ability to function but most of the next bit is me waving my hands around screaming "JIANG CHENG NOOOO"

I came my senses and back tracked and while these are not the best caps of my life they will do and also DAMN

But you three are supposed to be together forever what are you saying are you breaking up with your brother but look at his face omg look at both their faces

this seems bad and also where are my twin heroes of Yunmeng?

Oh god I'm gonna vid this. I'm gonna vid it so hard. I'm gonna start a timeline tonight please help me

I honestly cannot deal with a crying Jiang Cheng someone else needs to take over this part of the recap

OH MY GOD THIS NEEDS TO STOP I THINK IT IS ILLEGAL

I know Jiang Cheng CAN NEVER know he has WWX's golden core because it would destroy him but also JIANG CHENG WWX GAVE YOU HIS GOLDEN CORE MAYBE SUPPORT HIS ATTEMPT AT COMMUNE LIVING

it's not like he joined a cult, he just sorta started a cult

The fuck am I supposed to do with this? I don't want it send it back for the version that smiles and laughs a lot

i am crying

THIS BABY IS THE BEST BABY IN THE WORLD

let's go back to the baby

Jiang Cheng you coulda had it all - a brother and a hot doctor - and you threw it all away for social norms.

I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed

oh no

no no no no no no no no no no no

ok this can still be ok just both of you need to stop and take deep calming breaths I'll count we can do paced breathing really focus on the diaphragm and hold out that exhale as long as you can

YOU GUYS ARE NOT BREATHING WITH ME

I'll start again -- deep full inhale through the nose, try to keep your chest stable and really pull it deeper as you feel your stomach start to inflate

You guys aren't listening to me.

ok hold up

this just got hot

I am a terrible person and I'm into this now

I take it back. No longer into it, also like this is a fairly chill way to react to being stabbed like - this is not normal sibling bickering, Wei Wuxian

BUT HE GAVE YOU HIS GOLDEN CORE

I'm getting tired of this time jump bullshit I am fine with watching them live out the daily minutiae of their lives as long as that involves planting babies like turnips and general wholesomeness and not brother against brother

See if you can shape up, Show. You are on notice

I spy one brave little toaster causally drinking tea listening to the hot goss about his man

Um...brave little toaster what has happened to you?

Oh wow

I APPROVE OF THIS MESSAGE

Behold, this field where Lan Wangji used to sow his fucks because, lo, it is barren

Wait

I'm in shock but also WWX lost the baby of course he did

I...was not prepared

This is...

is this...kidfic?

awwww yeah this is the good stuff

They are both proposing marriage with their eyes but I don't think they understand the reciprocity present in this moment

They are both just waiting for the other person to say "yes" and honestly they are sweet dumb boys but they are my sweet dumb boys

Oh, yeah, Lan Wangji remembers there is a baby still clinging to his leg

oh so that's what Lan Wangji looks like when he does math in his head

Also, yes you said it this is your son now.

I feel like Lan Wangji's brain has frozen on "he called me pretty" and we are gonna have to wait for him to reboot

I honestly cannot blame him one bit - my brain has also just ceased to work because LOOK AT WEI WUXIAN WITH A BABY

Lan Wangji's brain is gone but all he knows is peace staring at this blessed image

Lan Wangji suddenly crashes back into the present but ONLY BECAUSE A GRAVE INJUSTICE HAS OCCURRED

OMG

Y'all WWX is the "we have food at home" parent, which is a plot twist I did not see coming at all (I mean I saw none of this coming and I'm still not convinced I'm not experiencing a very elaborate antihistamine induced dream)

Lan Wangji is the push-over parent.

Wei Wuxian has never been more attracted to another being in his entire life

Just, WWX probably should have discussed adoption with LWJ before starting the process but it looks like it is working out and yes, Congratulations!

Yes, you are trapped here, Lan Wangji. Parent Trapped

Lan Wangji has completely short circuited and has forgotten what a meal actually is -- it's still better than the "I DO" that is ringing around in his head

Meanwhile, WWX is like gonna get down to business, ask LWJ out on a date and lock this other dad down ASAP

WWX continues to misread Very Obvious Clues and feels like he has to wheedle a yes to dinner out of LWJ

WWX, do you think he has EVER been to Yiling? WHY DO YOU THINK HE IS HERE NOW YOU SWEET SOFT DUMMY???

The faces and noises I am making at my television

@sweetestdrain: I actually remember the moment when y'all were watching initial kidfic and I was screaming inside thinking about lwj showing up

@faneunice: It’s over? Unrelenting misery turned into kidfic and they end it there?!?

WWX is like trying to make sure everyone is on their best behavior so he can be all smooth and procure a second parent for his child and LWJ is like *holding a baby* and we get to watch WWX literally melt

READER THIS IS THE FACE OF A MAN WHO IS WONDERING IF THEY SHOULD GET MARRIED RIGHT AWAY OR WAIT FOR SPRING

@faneunice: Good baby for recognizing your other daddy without being told.

I can't believe it just keeps. getting. cuter.

This like the parents yelling "Spencer!" in the Wells For Boys SNL sketch

LWJ just proving he be a daddy and he can also be A Daddy.

Yuan is not impressed by WWX smooth moves, but is willing to do his part in adorable cuteness as needed

This - okay besides planning the wedding - I think it's WWX trying to establish something with LWJ that doesn't rely on obligation or need - he wants to be around LWJ because he wants to be around LWJ

LAN ZHAN IS PLANNING TO CARRY YOU OFF TO HIS CASTLE YOU UTTER NITWIT WE EVEN SAW HIM PLAN IT OUT WITH HIS BROTHER JUST STOP WWX JUST STOP TALKING

this baby is like "u ok?"

LWJ is ready to make his case for making an honest cultivator out of WWX and given little Yuan a stable home and maybe a pony so he speaks up

He is interrupted by WWX's "there's trouble back at the ranch" signal and WWX grabs his kid and fucks off

I have been threatened by @faneunice that she will cry if I don't specifically cap this moment. I don't think it's much of a threat because she was crying in her chicken tonight about how hard Jiang Cheng has it. I think someone told her there are JC haters and she is very upset

Lan Wangji specifically grabs his son's toys before he runs after them -- he also pays the bill but I honestly don't think @faneunice noticed or cared about that -- of course he pays the bill, let the man take care of you it the only thing he wants to

this is just...this is absolute peak levels fic and I don't even know how to process this

This is a Hallmark Movie about a struggling single dad with a dark secret and the sweet but quiet man he befriends who just wants to help

WWX keeps saying he forgot his sword just, oh hon

LWJ stands by his man and his insta-baby and WWX watches with the sad face of a man who is in pain wanting what he can't have and where is Wen Qing to break down what is happening for him?

My brave little toaster is A FULL GROWN MAN AND DAMN Y'ALL LET'S ALL CELEBRATE LAN WANGJI

Lan Wanji needs to stop cultivating and start holding babies because it's just working so hard for him

Guys am really just hash tag blessed so much right now

Lan Wangji is a gentleman and will catch you if you fall and if he stands a little close afterward it is only because he is worried you might fall again

God that first cap is just. b

Basically, WWX and LWJ team up to bring Wen Ning's consciousness back into his body which is important but honestly I'm only gonna recap the touching moments because kidfic has RUINED me and I can't go turn back into "running jumping climbing on trees" mode on a dime

So, WWX is like "good times, good times - do you want to come up to my room and I'll show you my etchings?"

LWJ really likes etchings so he assents

Someone needs to just go ahead and take WWX's Smiths records away from him

WWX just because you try to whisper it against his neck doesn't make the words actually sexy

Link me to all the awkward first time elbow-y sex fic right now

I mean... caves are rather intimate places for them

They are both really really bad at this

No. No, WWX is definitely way worse

HONEY NO, don't just...

LWJ frets over WWX's injuries from fixing Wen Ning and is sort of puzzled as to why WWX doesn't heal himself

or carry his sword

or is cultivating with resentful energy now

To which I would like our favorite full grown brave toaster to really stop and think

As I am thinking this the only other human to know the actual answer to this puzzle and her undead brother, who might or might not know, still not clear, bring refreshments

Guys, do I love that WWX basically has an undead butler now?

Quick regress to address LWJ's worried face when WWX coughs - yep that is a face full of concern, longing and vulnerability
You know - JC and LWJ know that WWX has had run ins with the Wen Chao after JC's golden core was restored and yet they never wonder if his core was melted?

While I'm considering this, Dr. Cinnamon Bun sneaks up and does some pretty smooth sneaky doctor moves with the sort of dominance we love her for (it was established earlier that WWX is really bad about seeking medical care and she just isn't having that)

Wen Qing is hot as hell

And this asshole fucking swoons into LWJ's arms.

Listen - I have already watched him cry in the rain and hold a baby and my heart aches for my full grown brave toaster

LWJ has not been prepared for any of this at all. Ever. Not a single time, send help.

Digression: I was working on setting up source for a vid and so I might have capped this last night just because I needed Summer Camp Shenanigans

Me: Remember when we were all tee hee this is so silly

@sweetestdrain: Oh god. I do

Me: It was like, last week.

Still Me: This might be the only thing I care about

@sweetestdrain: What happened to us

Anyway, Dr. Cinnamon Bun continues to, er, dominate my heart

Wait for it

A return to our former silly glory

WWX is an extremely ridiculous man and LWJ is living for it

Guys it's just so very cool that The Untamed ends with LWJ deciding to stay with WWX and raise a family at the burial grounds and the next 21 episodes are just about various shenanigans their kids get into.

I was gonna make another Fire Swamp reference but this is no time for glibness

WWX can't imagine another choice than the one he made

He renews what he said in the rain before he escaped with the Wens, if only to reassure LWJ I think that WWX is okay with this -- he's fine

I sort of skipped the screen caps where it becomes obvious to LWJ that life on the burial mound is really really hard

He's right and Lan Zhan knows it

WWX is a man without any other acceptable options except for the path he chose and again, Lan Zhan GETS IT but also can't look at him right now or he will cry and it isn't even raining

He can't look at him, he can't speak, all Lan Zhan can do right now is FEEL

Wei Wuxian has no other choice he could make and live with himself, but he has given up on everything that mattered to him before - and we know how much he loves his big sister and that being separated from his siblings is killing him inside god that last cap

and, and, AND with ALL OF THIS WEIGHT he then tries to reassure LWJ that he will be fine -- really. He's got this, "go on back to what I imagine is your perfect and clear life, Lan Zhan, and never worry about me, I promise I'm fine"

Lan Zhan is seriously about to cry, we know the signs, bc he isn't here because he's a nice guy who is looking out for someone that he feels some sort of responsibility to - He's gone against every single thing he was raised to believe to be here and to know it is the right thing

Wei Wuxian's face journey as Yuan does his best to keep Lan Wangji with this is just a lot right now

I want to go back to them holding a baby

OH GOD THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT

WWX has absolutely no expectations that LWJ will even be sad or miss him when he leaves and that's what's killing me most and also this is again the most Hallmark movie shit I have seen since the last time this show was Hallmark movie shit which was like less than 10 minutes ago

THEY GAVE US KIDFIC ONLY TO RIP IT AWAY SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY NOOOOOOOO

Yuan can't believe WWX blew such an easy win

Oh god LWJ stopped to watch them -- and his face!

WWX is like, "listen kid, I don't want to crush your dreams and all but also I am going to crush your dreams and all"

WWX is such a dummy

Everyone is obsessed with paths, Lan Wangi's uncle was just going on and on about keeping Lan Wangji off his father's path

NO ONE ASKS LAN WANGJI WHAT PATH HE WANTS

It doesn't matter to Lan Wangji as he is used to never getting what he wants and will settle for glimpses of things he can't have

I can't leave it that way so when WWX and Yuan get home they see beautiful lit lanterns and WWX is like "what's going on" as his sadness intensifies

Because they are your FAMILY you dolt

WWX is celebrated like is only just and right

I'm just... this is so complicated, WWX wants to belong and he could here and he does but he also has been holding himself apart in small ways

And of course the moment he starts having fun he sees Wen Ning and Wen Qing together and misses his sister

So he does what WWX always does when he feels anything at all - he drinks

Wen Qing basically tells him you drink to much later in the evening when an absolutely wasted Wei Wuxian is still going

Wasted Wei Wuxian wants to talk about Lan Wangji to the surprise of no one. Absolutely no one.

HIS STONY FACE

The drunken pining is just so very much where I am headed to tonight as I watch more of these episodes, I fear

Me to @faneunice : The kidfic was so delicious, I wonder if there's a chance to drink it again

@sweetestdrain, who knows spoilers, is played by Dr Cinnamon Bun here

Dr. Cinnamon Bun isn't your at 3am lady's bathroom girl, she ain't here to build you up

But she does care and it's not like WWX would ever talk about something real if he could help it

Thanks I hate it

Huh, what is LWJ doing? seems intense

It looks like time is passing and he's still doing this

THE FUCK IT IS SNOWING WHAT IS HAPPENING

OMG

well isn't that just fucking lovely - let's punish LWJ for going to see WWX? Is that what this is?

I feel like this walk off is LWJ's silent "worth it"

Fake Wei Wuxian meet Fake Wei Wuxian

Meanwhile, real Wei Wuxian is just hanging out being Wei Wuxian to the absolute max and looking quite smashing in purple, I must say

Wen Ning: Undead Turnip Salesman is basically #goals

I was honestly settling in for an episode of imposter shenanigans AND THEN

MY HEART

family only, undead sidekicks must wait outside

Wei Wuxian is stunned and I still have not developed any sort of immunity to his face

this is just so sweet and beautiful

BROTHERS!

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS

I am basically constantly freaked out that Yanli is going to die at any moment because her brothers love her too much and she is too important and that makes her death a plot device - I don't make these rules and I certainly don't endorse them, but I know these things work

Jiang Yanli asks Wei Wuxian to name her baby -- idk I got confused but I also love love love the look Yanli and Jiang Cheng give each other in the 3rd frame

They both turn into five year olds when they are with their sister and I love it

@faneunice has deep thoughts about Jiang Cheng:

I cant stop thinking how hard and complicated it can be to be that close to someone with such a naturally cheerful, easygoing, charming personality when you...aren’t. [cont]

@faneunice continued:

If you’re more sensitive to feeling frustration and anger, more earnest about responsibility, less *fun*. Add in the weight of the objective greater level of responsibility and expectations JC has on his shoulders and I. *wordless flails of sadness*

I mean...

I can't with his beautiful face I just can't

Petition to hug Jiang Cheng a lot. Like a lot lot. AN OBSCENE AMOUNT OF HUGS. I'm not even a hugger and I'm into it

Yanli giving soup to the Undead Wen Ning is the balm my soul needed on this difficult day. Truly the best of the living and the dead - together at last.

TOO MUCH

1. Yuan eating this soup
2. Wen Ning giving this soup to Yuan
3. Yanli wanting Wei Wuxian to be happy

I am filing a complaint and writing a strongly worded letter

Teasing is Wei Wuxian's love language, and Jiang Cheng knows him well

I really love that this recap has become a place to really all come together and dig deep and offer Jiang Cheng all the love we have to give, as a collective, because he is a good

I love that Wei Wuxian is such a liar here because Jiang Cheng CAN NEVER KNOW and while I want other people to know (LWJ) I do not want Jiang Cheng to even suspect

I feel so justified right now

Jiang Cheng has never once stopped trying to come up with a way to save Wei Wuxian and fix this entire mess and also THERE IS NO ONE THERE TO KEEP WEI WUXIAN OUT OF TROUBLE YOU WOULD THINK JIANG CHENG COULD COUNT ON WEN QING BUT OBVIOUSLY NOT SINCE *waves hands over all this*

Jiang Cheng has duty, crushing responsibilities, an amazing sense of style and love for his siblings and THAT IS IT

oh god

(also the Jolene comment from earlier - now I just hear "wen ning, wen ning, wen ning, weeeen niiiing" and I don't want it)

Wei Wuxian is staying in Yiling, Jiang Cheng is in Yunmeng, and Yanli will be in Lanling

What happened to staying together for forever?? I feel bitter

Just like with me, Wei Wuxian enters into his depressive period where he isn't hungry, he can't sleep and he yells at his kid and feels super bad about it

I know let's send a sweet baby in and see how Liz handles that because sure it isn't as if she has already not cried at least twice this episode, sure just go for it

Listen, this baby is the best baby and will consider your problems and help generate logical solutions

GIVE THAT BABY A PROMOTION

Wei Wuxian playing with Yuan brings initial joy and then

much like me, he is still depressed

THE FUCK, SHOW.

gah - that baby better stay a baby

Oh okay bring on another baby - that works too

Aw, Yanli named her baby the name WWX picked out and he's an uncle now except intense sadness because he is also banished in a way

LWJ is working on getting WWX an invite to the baby's baby party and The World's Biggest Asshole really needs to be grateful that LWJ has not yet figured out how to murder people with his eyes because damn Brave Toaster, those are some fierce looks

Yanli's boring but fine I guess husband also is apparently a lot better dude than I thought because he also wants to invite WWX and argues WWX hasn't done anything bad in like a whole year so let's just let bygones be bygones

Yanli really is a good influence on people

Fuck Face looks like this at the idea of inviting WWX and reminds his awful dad about the Stygian Tiger Amulet that they are both obsessed with and so now I know it is a trap and I also know that WWX has never met a trap he hasn't fallen into so dread is setting in

Yeah, babe you are a very kind and gentle soul but that doesn't seem to be how the Jins operate

Oh god... they are gonna have Lan Wangji write the letter that is a trap. Oh god.

Also, what is LWJ gonna write?

@faneunice: Oh no, how much awkward poetry about WWX does he have under his bed

@sweetestdrain: oh no, awkward teenage poetry

Yanli is super excited that her cute baby gets to meet WWX

*dread intensifies*

Lotuses and rolled up pants and watching out for that cute baby who is theoretically a year old but is a forever baby in my heart - this is nice and can we stay here?

(also what is this show doing to me, I got a glimpse of KNEE and went "oh,my")

OMG WEN QING BE CAREFUL READING LWJ'S LETTER TO WWX BECAUSE IT COULD BE EMBARRASSING FOR EVERYONE CONCERNED

WWX is very excited to fall for this obvious trap and immediately takes Wen Ning shopping and puts on his old robes (or does he buy new ones? hard to say) and decides to be nice to his brother in law.

He's like a brand new man but also still the same old dummy

@faneunice: I just. Why can’t they just leave Wei Wuxian alone. He’s not evil at *all*, he’s protecting the weak and vulnerable and growing turnips. I love him so much, he is so sweet and so good and it’s not fair.

oh my god it's The World's Biggest Asshole wft is happening??

WWX is like dude I have a life and it's been years and you have to learn to let things go

@sweetestdrain: he just wants to live in the haunted valley with the rest of his commune

oh god

I just thought Wen Ning was going through a hemp necklace phase like most 16 year old boys I had no idea it was like... restraining

everyone's fighting and Wen Ning is like going all out on the archers and shit and so The World's Biggest Asshole decides to fight WWX but instead picks his pocket and takes away his gift for his nephew that he's worked on for weeks

Yanli's Turns Out to Be an Ok Husband shows up and is like - y'all stop it

The World's Biggest Asshole has a tantrum and gets mad and crushes the gift for the baby that WWX made

WWX does not handle this very well

omg, did WWX just figure out the plan? And now he just looks crazy and paranoid except for all the attempted ambush assassination going on so maybe listen to him just a little bit, Yanli's Pretty Much Fine Husband

I mean is WWX pretty much losing it here? Yes. Absolutely. This is not the act of someone who has spent the last year wading in lotuses and chilling, this is a dude who has spent every second suppressing evil spirits and worried out of his mind about the safety of his adopted ppl

I did not see this coming and for a second I was SHOCKED that The World's Biggest Asshole was a kin killer

and then I was just

what

I didn't see this coming

I am in shock as is wwx we are in shock please let us go back in time I am pretty sure we were just at kidfic that was better

So much shock

I actually do not want to watch any more. I wanna nope so far out of what is happening I am in like a sitcom

I am just

this is real bad

FUCK FACE DID NOT JUST TELL MY BRAVE FULL GROWN TOASTER TO CALM DOWN HE DID NOT

on one hand I'm really glad Yanli isn't dead but on the other hand I hate everything happening

oh good the voices are back this is a great development

Why did you guys want me to watch this show this is terrible and painful and I hate everything about this please just not even joking this is straight up everyone I love in incredible unfixable pain

ok i guess it could get even worse

he just wanted to grow food and feed people and maybe not be alone

and wen ning is a sweet boy and none of this is fair

I really need a break from this but I also can't stop now

Dr Cinnamon Bun restrains WWX because she has a plan that I absolutely hate and do not endorse

Wei Wuxian agrees it's a terrible plan and wants to do his own terrible plan and it's honestly a race for these two cinnamon buns to out noble each other, but lbr, Wen Qing will win every time

This is awful and I am sobbing and I can't even vid this inside my head

dr cinnamon bun nooooo

omg she's so glorious

where is everyone else going?????????

this is not a good show and i can't endorse anyone watching it ever omg i love her so much she is so good

OH MY GOD IT JUST GETS WORSE

I do want to apologize for the quality of the caps for the latter half of this ep -- I kept getting more upset and kept forgetting to like, do this and then I just couldn't go back

okay here we go:

WWX, honestly barely holding onto whatever sanity he has left, tries to go see his tragic widow sister

WELL SHIT - so I guess now we know where everyone went when WWX woke up alone. I'm just prepared for everything to go super super super bad

Yanli and her mother in law have Been Through It

This is super well done and I honestly have a huge problem with grieving mothers and this actress just knocks it out of the park because I start crying

WWX is spotted and just

ok

Wei Wuxian is in the woods and hallucinating his sister and generally losing it and does the place where his core would be hurt? Or did I miss an injury?

He looks to his sister for absolution but he only finds emptiness

So like -- I think his will is just so weakened that the resentful energy aka the sexy ghost infection, is able to kind of take over?

and I'm gonna nope right back out all of the wens are dead

all of them

I'm kinda looking forward to WWX murdering everyone right now. You go ahead bb and take out these assholes, I support you

@faneunice: He’s going to murder them all.
He’s broken, they broke Wei Wuxian

@sweetestdrain: It took a LOT

@faneunice: It took so much

Ok so fuck all y'all

Fuck you Fuck Face for loving this so much and fuck you Hot Brother and also fuck you Hot Daddy and the only person I excuse in this awful terrible mess is Jiang Cheng but FUCK THE GENTRY YOU ARE ALL COMPLICIT

They destroy Wen Qing and Wen Ning's ashes and how much you wanna bet that Jiang Cheng has that fucking comb in a pocket on his person right the fuck now? That romantic, beautiful, tragic fool

Honestly, can I write Jiang Cheng a note that will just excuse him from all of this? Me too? Like I can just take Jiang Cheng away to a nice TV show where things are safer & not as terrible like, idk, is Westeros less awful? CAUSE IT IS LIKE A CONSTANT RED WEDDING IN MY HEART NOW

Yup, WWX has lost his damn mind and is on the roof and might be the Most Dangerous Person In the World right now and as long as he doesn't touch a hair on Jiang Cheng's head, he has my full endorsement and support (sorry Lan Xichen and Hot Daddy but you made your choices)

Instead of raining unholy fire down on all their heads, WWX stops to make a case for the injustice of it all -- my sweet baby even when he is overrun with a 1000 sexy ghosts hell bent on revenge he still wants to root out duplicitous treachery

No one is really having it - but I'm glad Jiang Cheng at least is there to hear it. WWX's just gone, y'all this is a broken man and they broke him becca is right.

Player's only love you when they're playin

HOW MANY TIMES AND IN HOW MANY WAYS CAN WE WATCH ALL OF THIS PRECIOUS MAN'S INNOCENCE DIE???

Like he thinks maybe they can't hurt him anymore but then they just keep hurting him.

Introducing Wei Wexian Disillusionment Model 3.0

Some asshole shoots him in the chest but you don't allow millions of resentful, yet sexy, ghosts residence in your body to be stopped by a little thing like an arrow so now it's on

And now it's all fight fight fight

Except for the Yunmeng Jiang Clan - strangely enough they remain untouched. What a coincidence.

What a sweet baby

When guys say that they want a goth GF

THAT'S RIGHT!!!!

not what i wanted

OH MY GOD

YOU GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKER THIS IS NOT YOUR GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO DIE

yeah, I'm gonna need a minute

yeah no still need more time am not ready for broken wei wuxian and desperate lan wangji with this look on his face

once upon a time i was fallin' in love, now I'm only fallin' apart

I actually want to know what Lan Wangji's plan is - like what is his exit strategy?

We will never know (I assume) because Wei Wuxian hears his sister calling for him

as soon as she showed up I just went ooooh no. I mean they telegraphed her tragic death so much and I was kinda pleased it was her husband instead and then she showed up here

@sweetestdrain: I feel like wwx thought that was going to be his big showdown.

He would have to be stopped and lwj would be the one to stop him.

But then his sister shows up and that whole plan goes out the window and lwj shifts immediately to PROTECT WEI YING

@faneunice: Isn’t LWJ more begging him to stop than actively trying to fight him before he goes all ride or die?

@sweetestdrain: Oh definitely.
But I think wwx is prepared for sad epic shit and lwj is not going there

@faneunice: He did go to sad epic shit, just not the sad epic shit WWX was expecting from him.

@sweetestdrain: They are on different sad epic shit wavelengths

Me: that's it. that's the show

I think this is Sexy Murder aka Xue Yang

The moment WWX realizes he is not in control of this situation

Jiang Cheng is trying to find their sister and screaming at Wei Wuxian to just stop and Wei Wuxian DID and it got worse and what is happening?

I AM FILLED WITH DREAD AT THE INEVITABLE

I feel like there must have been a focus group to determine how to make this as painful as possible

Jiang Cheng pleading with Wei Wuxian to stop it, Lan Wangji's absolute horror, and Wei Wuxian's helpless pleading

Check

Yeah and watching it happen and being unable to do anything?

Check

I hate this character exists so that when they die it will unmoor this other character

But we find ourselves there and also -- the fact that even this is complicated dynamics is just...

Several times since Wen Ning killed Yanli's husband, there are all these scenes of Wei Wuxian just in shock and not moving - this keeps happening because he keeps losing everything

oh my Jiangs

no one knows that this is not from Wei Wuxian - not even Lan Wangji

And it isn't like Wei Wuxian is even able to explain or hell hear anything at all right now I imagine he hears maybe a dull roar or static

His brain is offline

Oh my god this is so painful.

Wait, Wei Wuxian doesn't know for sure this isn't him either??? OMG NO

One moment of peace

Yanli is definitely Madam Yu's kid

and absolute horror for the rest of his life

This is their unimaginable - the last time they were united in grief it was watching their parents die

And our boy is GONE

He's gone as far as he can go and he has taken everything he can take and he has lost everything he tried to protect

hashtag never forget

Play It For Me (One More Time)

This is the absolute worst night of Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji's life and they have had some really really bad nights

Wei Wuxian is injured and Lan Wangji

Lan Wangji forgets how to move IN THE MIDDLE OF A BATTLE

He just stops

this just confirms this has all been about getting Wei Wuxian's power - it has never been about anything else

WAIT shit

FUCKING HELL

I AM BACK

Wei Wuxian doesn't give a FUCK about this amulet come and get it assholes

@faneunice: Remember when we mostly laughed in confusion at this? We were so innocent

Yeah this poor baby is done

@sweetestdrain: And we didn't know this face

WE DID NOT KNOW

LAN WANGJI DIDN'T KNOW

this is where we started

I can't

don't

@faneunice: God I need a moment to process how deeply ride or die LWJ is for WWX

@faneunice: Ride or die to the last second. He loves Wei Wuxian more than he values literally anything else in this world.

It's like when Lan Wangji grabs him, Wei Wuxian is *surprised* and that out of everything might hurt the most but I can't tell yet

I knew this was tragic but I had NO IDEA

I can't with either of their faces it's awful and beautiful

I included two very similar caps for LWJ on this tweet because they are also different and his face is hurting me in my soul

I don't remember this part. I don't remember Jiang Cheng stumbling up at all

oh no

I mean, WWX is basically looking at the only people he has left who give a single shit about him. I think he knows what Jiang Cheng is gonna do and it seems like he's at peace with it

LWJ on the other hand is just i don't have words

oh god, that look of acceptance is so wrong

also wrong, everything else here

This is my personal hell

I remember when I thought this was the most dramatic death scene ever filmed

In retrospect it is not dramatic enough

He didn't run his brother through with the sword but it doesn't matter -- I really hope he didn't do that just so that Lan Wangji's hand slips on the blood pouring down from his open wound because how much trauma can one show have?

I get it now

@faneunice: And poor Jiang Cheng, oh god he thinks Wei Wuxian *killed their sister* what else was he supposed to do.

the last thing he sees

the only two people left in the world that he loves

@faneunice: Just. None of this is any of their fault and they are all so broken. It hurts so much I want to be back making jokes about soccer with the weird amulet and being intrigued by how they ended up there not sobbing so hard I can’t read subtitles.

oh god, thank fuck
*grasps chest*

what's happening???

I feel so peaceful

oh

it's quiet time and let us all just live here now

When it is not quiet time I do have a lot of questions about where is Mo and does WWX look like Mo now and does it matter and so why the mask?

But now is not the time

@faneunice: But omg Lan Wangji is a mess my poor baby his hair is messy

@sweetestdrain: The lower the hair the closer to the room where your returned-from-the-dead love of your life is sleeping

this is really just

LWJ explaining Jiang Cheng's search for WWX's body and basically everything about his face right now

The way they don't look at each other here - I'm dying

OH GOD

LWJ was like not hiding the fact he was fighting on WWX's side this entire time what the fuck did the gentry do to my poor Tragic Widow Toaster????

it's just so quiet and of course wwx wants to explain his absence but it is not explainable except he died? I am not sure how his resurrection worked at all and I know I should go back and watch the first 2 eps but I CANNOT RIGHT NOW I NEED THIS

Lan Wangj is murdering me with his tragic feels and Wei Wuxian is murdering me with his continued (how??!???) obliviousness

the next morning has back from the dead WWX reliving some of his Cloud Recess memories and since he was pretty much solely made of sunshine and kittens and idealism when he was last at Cloud Recess, it's a stark contrast

this is so sad he had a family

he feels better when he finds the bunnies

@faneunice: Kissing bunnies! That’s a good sign right
@sweetestdrain: A meteor! ...Metaphor

I'm all HOLY SHIT ARE WE GONNA GET NAKED TIMES?

@faneunice: WHAT HAPPENED TO LAN WANGJI’S BACK WHO WHIPPED HIM I JUST WANNA TALK

...with my fists

holy shit they branded him just like WWX was branded

unless he did it to himself and like- everyone's grieving process is valid, so I'm willing to understand and actually hope he did it to himself because otherwise the sick fuck gentry are way more sick fuck than even I thought

@sweetestdrain: I feel like at this point they are both very clear about their feelings to themselves

but are they clear about it to each other

I mean lan wangji is like hemorrhaging tragic widow energy everywhere

@faneunice: Lan Wangji is clear about it to everyone.
He isn’t even subtle anymore

WWX has no fucking idea and maybe he needs an idea or a clue or like... if Wen Qing was alive she could like, restrain him, and explain it until he could repeat it back in small words but this is the terrible future and there is no Dr. Cinnamon Bun anymore

@sweetestdrain: I am pretty sure all the Lan ducklings know, they're all oh yeah the Yiling Patriarch believe us we've heard about HIM

Lan Wangji's uncle FOR SURE knows

EVERYONE KNOWS

well except for one person

Becca and me made @sweetestdrain spoil us that Yuan was not dead but she didn't tell us anything else but we have decided this is our favorite duckling and therefore, Yuan.

Also shit like this and LWJ specifically sending him to bed

Like I know you guys like to react to our guesses but don't spoil us unless he is NOT Yuan. Or wait. NO SPOILERS. Just no one talk or look at me at all and we can just continue on

OMG I WANT HIM TO BE YUAN, DO NOT LOOK AT ME

no one comment on this

please be Yuan

Wei Wexian, oblivious

@faneunice: But like this isn’t even subtle. Lan Wangji is straight up walking around ‘I love him, I love him, and where he goes I’ll follow’ to EVERYONE since he cried in the rain

I love this so much and I remain fast in my belief

Yanli's kid is a dick and I love him

Things are not going well at the family reunion

Wei Wuxian decides that what this kid needs is Wei Wuxian because remember how great an influence he was on Jiang Cheng

OMG I LOVE FAIRY

wei wuxian has issues

so wwx is cornered by this viscous beast of adorable fluff and all around sweetness that is a very very good boy

Of course, in his panic he calls out for LWJ to come save him

LWJ superheroes *hard* and swoops in because I think all systems are now tuned exclusively to "must protect wei ying"

this was not what he was expecting

Yup, this is it - this is your life and these are your choices, Lan Wangji

WWX and LWJ then do a kinda of combo of Jessica Fletcher and Winchester Brothers sort of supernatural mystery investigation with a local

Along the way we get terrible news about Hot Daddy and also learn that sweetie pie is well in over his head to the surprise of absolutely no one, least of all him.

When was the last time a person touched Lan Wangji this much?

I mean, valid question

WWX is not used to giving a straight answer to questions. Lan Wangji just depends on interuptions before he has to answer questions. Is it any wonder that communication is their major downfall?

awww, trust

I mean, I am still upset on Jiang Cheng's behalf about Princess, Little Love and the other dog you are forgetting Wei Wuxian, that dog was Jasmine

LWJ is like "what can I do to make you not sad" and WWX is just like "annnnyway"

To be fair, this is basically me anytime a spider is like, somewhat adjacent. Or I hear a story. Or see a picture. I never had to fight them for food though, they are just evil and I know it.

This is your new life, Lan Wangji. Remember, this is what you *wanted*

Alexa play "Don't Stand So Close to Me"

There are plot rocks literally and both of them do this a lot

I really do not like the depth of fear caught up in Lan Wangji's face here -- basically I guess I'm gonna need hurt/comfort fic about how LWJ handles it when WWX stubs his toe

They find Yanli's terrible son who is also, somehow, the best, buried in the wall for reasons

Yanli's great and terrible son is cursed and as WWX checks to see if it's spread to his chest, Jin Ling wakes up and is sort of correctly freaked out - this is pretty textbook Stranger Danger Jin Ling, you should probably run

@faneunice: can we talk about how utterly unimpressed Jin Ling is with Jiang Cheng's cranky outbursts.

@faneunice: Like Jian Cheng threatens to break his legs and he’s all ‘*yawn* and by break my legs you mean buy me another puppy, right?’ To which I imagine JC grumpily shoves another puppy at him historically.

The dog *exists* and drives WWX out of hiding

and my heart stops

I'm putting this except clip down on a timeline TONIGHT

basically everything is awful and terrible now

It's just anger and pain and I am so tired

Jin Ling is like "Uh, uncle can I distract you expertly right now because I have you and everyone else I know completely figured out but Stranger Danger here intrigues me and I need to get you out of the building?"

Jiang Cheng is like "sure but watch him and don't let him go"

Jin Ling lets him go

I don't see the problem here, that dog obviously is Fairy anyone could see it

WWX imparts some wisdom, apologizes and then knocks the kid out in that order -- remember, Jin Ling is cursed and WWX decides to just go ahead and transfer that curse to himself no big, like ya do

I considered going back to the first two episodes but the show just kind of kept rolling and it ended up on this: LWJ staring at the moon and WWX staring at LWJ staring at the moon and I am only human and had to see this to the end.

Siri play "Take My Breath Away"

LWJ immediately knows that he's hurt somehow because he is exhibiting a symptom known as hypervigilance and it's usually maladaptive because of how exhausting it is -- you miss out on real dangers in the process -- but in this case, with WWX? Idk the man has a point

Reeeally gonna need that stubbed toe, LWJ loses it AU for real now

Yeah, not to stress you out even more LWJ but Jiang Cheng knows but don't worry he's cool about it all he wants to do is burn up WWX and scatter the cremains so this remains a workable situation

IT'S HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I honestly did not hear or comprehend a word of what is happening in this scene

just so much touching and I guess I'll figure out what else happens later

Sweetie Pie really ingsists he knows nothing but he does it before anyone actually asks any questions so we all know he knows something and honestly, can't he get like a super harsh general to run things so he can just be the figure head? He seems soooo stressed

LWJ and WWX play bad cop, drunk cop and find out a ton of stuff about the bunker and the possessed Nie blades and graverobbers and I honestly barely caught any of it because other stuff kept happening

like this

Lan Wangji is out to provide for every single one of Wei Wuxian's wants and/or needs and since that so often is alcohol, well so be it.

WWX has NO IDEA what he's doing to LWJ and it's actually hard to watch

I'm lying I'd watch this all day, every day, like it's my job but for free because I love it and I apparently enjoy a torturous long hard pine

ooh nice we get to the music/sex stuff

I mean it's really subtle

Completely subtle

@faneunice: Yeeeeah. They are definitely having music sex. Though they could be having actual sex and WWX would find a way to rationalize it not being what they are doing.

we go back to the bunker and Sweetie Pie is there and we finally learn the tragic fate of Hot Daddy

It's a lot of screaming NOOOOO HOT DADDY NOOOO here and also poor Sweetie Pie, I feel like Hot Daddy basically raised him and they were cool

Wei Wuxian has never given a straight answer on how he actually feels physically because either he needs to play it up for attention from Yanli or he has to play it down so no one tries to help him at their own expense. He is not prepared for Lan Wangji: Helicopter Boyfriend

LWJ just wants constant updates and if they could be accurate that would be helpful in preparing his Threat Level: Wei Wuxian In Danger reactions

I just slapped myself in the face because Wei Wuxian is not here for me to smack

Listen - this is delicious torture and I'm all for it and I know that he is the dumbest boy in the world and I know that Lan Wangji knows he is the dumbest boy in the world but still, just ugh

WEI WUXIAN: THE DUMBEST BOY IN THE WORLD

LAN WANGJI: THE MOST TORMENTED BOY IN THE WORLD

and together, they fight crime!

AN INN - there might be ONLY ONE BED at an inn

At the inn we get an info dump about Sexy Murder and the like those other dudes and nothing is good and shit has really gone down and just EVERYTHING has been a lot for a very very long time. Lan Wangji is sitting on 20 years of A Lot

Reader, I straight up screamed. I TOLD MY DOG WHAT JUST HAPPENED AND SHE DID NOT BELIEVE ME

@faneunice: WHAT. did LWJ just *take a shot of alcohol*!?!?

Me: I am in shock

My man has been driven to this and I for one am proud of him for snapping -- he could only take so much

I was going to go back and watch the first 2 eps again but I have to see this shit through

Reader, I am not certain but there appears to be ONLY ONE BED

ATTENTION THERE IS GENTLE HEAD CRADLING WITH NECK SUPPORT.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

this is so soft and it is so good

is he tucking him in????

LWJ's pining takes primary focus, because let's face it - he is a world champion gold medal in the last 4 Olympics piner - but while WWX is the dumbest boy in the world, he also has a lot of feelings he will barely let himself acknowledge bc he knows there is no point in hope

I am so happy and yet I am also so so sad

sadness continues as WWX plays to lure out Wen Ning and his face when he finally sees him is just well look at it

Wen Ning is under some weird sort of control and WWX figures it out and they have a conversation but only after WWX runs up to him in disbelieving shock

This is a terrible idea but also if WWX was to ask LWJ to give him his sword, LWJ would do it probably faster than the speed of sound it would be astounding how fast WWX would end up with Bichen

Busted

WWX is like "pssst, scram Wen Ning" but I don't think he really needed to bother

Lan Wangji is WASTED

I know my focus is supposed to be on Drunk LWJ but I also want to note that I can't believe WWX got them LOST

He is really failing his role as the designated sorta sober person which does make sense as he has NEVER been that before

I am just

I LOVE DRUNK LAN WANGJI SO SO SO MUCH

Me: um, why LWJ stealing chickens?

@sweetestdrain: he wants that cock

@faneunice: Did *I* get drunk?

Me: is he just gonna start throwing things at WWX as gifts?

@faneunice: I mean, nothing else has worked why not just shove some chickens at him

@sweetestdrain: I can't with his face
either face
but wwx's face when he starts to Get It

@faneunice: Does he get it though? Or does he just think LWJ feels responsible for him? Because I’m not sure he gets it.

@sweetestdrain: oh god I don't know

but they love each other and it hurts

he starts to get it and then he STOPS HIMSELF

its awful

I mean, this is just classic drunken shenanigans right? Let's leave evidence behind!

honestly, if wwx doesn't spare a moment to actually feel bad for all the times Jiang Cheng has been in this position..

Please put all your praise kink recs here, thank you and good night

this is the most delighted I have been in years

Drunk LWJ is a whole mood

THIS! IS! TOO! MUCH!

I'm in love with a dummy and a lightweight

They arrive back at the inn where there may or may not be only one bed, I still have hope, and just -- the way LWJ answers WWX's question with the most drunken slow to focus shake of his head is so perfect I want to engrave it on an heirloom and pass it down to my descendents

Intruder! In their room!

Action Lan Wangji Activated!

He holds his own but the other dude does as well and so like remember that guy that Lan Wangji was icing out at the thing at the Jin's? The one who broke off and started his own sect and Meng Yao was all scuzzy about it and Lan Xichen was too dazed by the good dicking to notice?

Muscle memory is an incredible thing

But dude is still drunk as fuck

I love nothing more than this scene and my favorite duckling potentially being Yuan (don't spoil)

Lan Wangji channels me in college. Ok, fine, me last February

I mean, he was competently sword fighting just a minute ago and now dude is gonna pour the water on his head I love him so much, help him Wei Wuxian - yes by touching him a lot

the caretaking here is just... there is SO much caretaking vibe with LWJ that you basically have to incapacitate him like here so that WWX can shine because he's good at this too

it's just so sweet that little face wipe

OMG

OMG

He's gonna ask drunk LWJ questions

OMG

ok typical

um, sweetie the regulations he broke, every single one of them, were for you

THE NERVE OF THIS MAN TO ASK THIS OF HIM RIGHT NOW

Lan Wangji's soft breathed out delighted "yes" like he was just thinking about how wonderful rabbits are and couldn't contain it is now my current everything. Please leave me here to die and play it at my funeral

ok so now - here ask something real WWX

oh my poor broken brave grown up toaster

ok, yes! finally finally finally, WWX is gonna get it

Right here. Right now.

I have no more face left to claw off we are on episode 36 and no one told me I would need to pace myself but this is just... I am very moved right now

and... wwx proceeds to not get it

this is not what Lan Zhan is talking about dude - like LISTEN with your eyes because that's the only way you are gonna get it out of him

Lan Wangji has HAD IT and he can't take anymore

Lan Wangji handles this like he handles all questions he does not want to acknowledge. He doesn't

God I thought the pining was bad 10 episodes ago. Or 15. I am dead wrong and I guess I have 13.5 episodes to go of just... this

Good

WWX wakes up from a nightmare about the burial mounds which honestly hits so hard I forget to examine what bed he is in which is honestly not like me and my quest for There Was Only One Bed

WWX watches some children playing which, anything WWX + kids is apparently a huge weak spot for me as a person, and also can I just point out that bb Nie Mingjue is like sooooo fucking cute I can't stand it

He very much wants to be included as a character in the children's play but not like this and I agree this is an injustice but also not a surprise. Honey, you are cast as the villain and you have known this for a very long time. Remember, you sort of lost your mind about it?

this is awkward and I love it

omg, just the alarm on his face

Lan Wangji's is entirely lovely and his hair is full of secrets

(I fully expect links to AUs of what he confesses to while drunk, please and thank you kindly)

Known troll WWX trolls LWJ but doesn't even know HOW HARD HE TROLLS

My full grown and brave, except for emotionally, toaster is so alarmed and I love it and feel sort of bad about loving it so much but also I don't feel bad at all

This is what The Untamed has done to me

I mean normally I hate LWJ experiencing the slightest distress except when it comes to this

Oh WWX, honey no

you are being so cruel and you don't even know it, WWX

LWJ chin up darlin' -- you KNEW he was like this and you have missed him for 16 years (oh god the pining is now when we talk about the branding - no it ruins the mood - we will have time later)

LWJ, you broke into a farm & gave WWX 2 marriage roosters & then told him he should have everything & then you defaced property & then fought a dude more than capably & then played truth or dare minus the dares & really bared your soul, in your own way, but other than that nada

They then do a more deducing like the crime fighting mystery solving duo they are but with a side of yearning and earnestness which honestly goes without saying

A Dire Place: Liz Watching the Untamed, the complete series

LWJ has lived steeped in regret and pain and now he lives steeped in fear and anxiety and they both are about one clueless dummy who is actually really good at solving mysteries except for the mystery of PEOPLE CARING ABOUT HIM and like, it is so great, isn't it?

EVERYONE KNOWS

side note - I love this argument and will watch the spin off series of the adventures of Fairy and Apple and also these children who are supposed to be the same age as our heroes when the series started but are all BABIES

Awwwwww

honestly half the stuff I did in my late teens/early 20s was for the story afterwards so I get WWX reasoning here

Jin Ling's 'are you kidding me' face is a delight and should be preserved in a museum and I am so glad he gets to experience his most ridiculous uncle since his life would be pretty bland without him

Sizhui is clever because he is your SON. Also the amount of peppers WWX is tossing into the congee is alarming

WWX can't cook and it's amazing and maybe it reminds Sizhui of something (HIS FATHER???)

The kids make a fuss about what a terrible cook WWX is so he just trolls them even harder and it is honestly great and this show has turned into just a wonderful relief and it's nice to relax again after so much intensity

@faneunice: Are these boys perving on a ghost?

Me: *loves it so much*

Xiao Xingchen shows up worse for the wear and shit Takes A Turn

WWX gets ready to do another spell thingy and the ducklings are so precious omg they are worried he is using too much blood and I just want to explain to them that they can't comprehend that while today is somewhat upsetting, it's a walk in the roses comparatively at least so far

Puppet Song Lan shows up and WWX breaks out the flute to keep him from killing everyone but most immediately Jin Ling

My favorite duckling besides Yanli's terrible and amazing son, scores another point in being Yuan & communicates with the spirit and confirms this is Song Lan and that Xiao Xingchen has killed him which shocks everyone because they were basically The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

In a really cool oh-no beat things take another turn

and shit gets very real

WWX sends the children outside so the adults can talk and also he has no choice and why is Xiao Xingchen acting like Sexy Murder???

Sizhui has to be given an important job to do in order to leave WWX and tells WWX he's a lot like LWJ which WWX can't accept because LWJ is amazing and so he scoffs but Sizhui knows

Me and Becca are calling it - y'all this baby is OUR BABY

So like Xiao Xingchen is Sexy Murder in disguise and WWX recognizes it right away which is cool as Sexy Murder is all yeah and you're WWX let's be friends

Sexy Murder wants WWX to restore someone's spiritual cognition and WWX tries to explain it doesn't work that way and Sexy Murder is more powerful anyway and it leads to a weird sort of compliment-off in that SM gives WWX all sorts of credit for inventing demonic cultivation

Wen Ning shows up of course and takes on Song Lan and Sexy Murder is insulting and doesn't get it and WWX is like just shut the fuck up about my buddy, fucker

Sexy Murder decides to fight WWX because he wants to OWN WWX which - fair - and of course it signals LWJ to show up because WWX In Danger is basically his Bat Signal and WWX knows it.

WWX knows this and only this, apparently.

LWJ is like - I got this boo; so WWX goes to help Wen Ning who doesn't even need to show that he's holding his own and WWX kinda feels like he doesn't have a place in this thing at all AND THEN

WWX discovers his place in the world and it is GLORIOUS

The ducklings watch LWJ fight with stars in their eyes and then Jingyi puts WWX on blast and everyone is about to be really offended on LWJ's behalf while WWX tries to play it cool

which WWX has never successfully played it cool in his entire life

In shitty news, the ghost girl isn't a ghost, just a poisoned girl with her tongue cut out and she leads them to Xiao Xingchen's body

WWX does Empathy with her which allows him to travel inside her memory or something

Ghost Girl is actually Jing (I think she is supposed to be a teen playing a 6-7 yr old?) She's running a scam where she pretends to be blind & is honestly working it - she runs into ACTUAL blind person Xiao Xingchen and realizes she maybe needs to stick w/ this only decent person

They save an injured person on the side of the road and it's Sexy Murder who is at first freaked out and then delighted when he realizes that Xiao Xingchen has no idea who he is.

Sexy Murder tests Jing's blindness and Jing is cold as ice and passes and I get it because I love candy this much too

Sexy Murder starts taking Xiao Xingchen on night hunts except they aren't and it's awful and also they are maybe falling in love?

I mean for a certain value of love

Sexy Murder is like 'no one insults my sweet blind baby that I am exploiting every single day because corruption of innocence is my kink' and it's terrible and also I don't hate it

Which means of course that it is time for Song Lan to show up

Song Lan watches them flirt with this sense of HORROR

Oh shit

I get it now

https://twitter.com/sisabet/status/1308183412134629376?s=20

Sexy Murder fights Song Lan and admits that Xiao Xingchen's sword senses evil which why he can keep cultivating except Sexy Murder figured out that if he poisons and cuts out the tongue of just regular people, the sword can't tell the difference and holy shit the depravity of it

Sexy Murder then twists the knife even further which should not be possible, but where there is a will there is a depraved sociopath with crazy eyes and an unquenchable desire to destroy and corrupt the innocence that attracts him in the first place

I hate that I have a type

At a more reasonable time, I would like everyone to link me to the delicious meta that I am positive exists about the nature of sacrifice and love in this universe: Xiao Xingchen gave Song Lan his eyes, Wei Wuxian gave Jiang Cheng his golden core.

not now, but later

Now we are yet again watching another tragedy unfold - this show is like "here is a terrible set of circumstances & now let us flashback so you can understand how absolutely terrible these circumstances are you sweet summer child you had no idea did you?"
or maybe that's just me

but yeah, Song Lan is poisoned and his tongue is removed and the events just fucking play out

it's like "here is this extremely tragic thing and here is this other tragic thing and I know you sort of care about them but let us really show you how awful it is in explicit horrific detail and then later how about you thank us for it?"

thank you?

I really did not predict ANY of this well at all, did I?

https://twitter.com/sisabet/status/1308183420418351104?s=20

So now WWX is pissed

He's like hey hey ho ho Sexy Murder has got to go

Angry WWX can get it

I mean so can cheerful WWX. And sad WWX. And hopeless WWX. And goofy WWX. And clueless WWX. And desperate WWX. And sweet WWX.

All the WWXs can get it

LWJ and WWX are embodying teamwork along with sexual tension now

Sexy Murder hates to see it and also wants to be the razor center in that deadly sandwich, I assume

WWX decides to lean into his skill set and just keep Sexy Murder talking and maybe distracted

I love when WWX gets all psycho-analytical but is also just the dumbest boy in the world, please send flowers to LWJ

Sexy Murder then sends the control nails directly at WWX's face and LWJ is just so far away and it happens so fast

Wen Ning is there to catch them and does this awesome mic drop because it's the future and he's totally metal now

LWJ is making a note to buy Wen Ning something tasteful like a castle or maybe a small city

LWJ also gets tired of playing around and sort of murders Sexy Murder once Jing let's him know where he is

but not before Sexy Murder absolutely murders Jing and WWX is just not okay

Sexy Murder rears back to try to continue murdering and LWJ, pushed to his limit, cuts his fucking arm off

Ghost Face Killer shows up to get the amulet and possibly spirit away Sexy Murder (and we all pretend that the excellent effects department didn't just shove the actor's arm into his shirt to make it look like an amputation, still better than the Wen Dungeon Dog)

WWX blocks Sexy Murders escape

WWX leads the ducklings off and goes to bury another teenager

Sexy Murder and Song Lan are left to sort things out in a murder way, advantage Song Lan

and the hits come right on hitting

As Sexy Murder lays dying we get another flashback to Xiao Xingchen figuring out he is Xue Yang

And Sexy Murder absolutely breaking Xiao Xingchen with the knowledge he has been murdering helpless civilians and also, here is puppet Song Lan and it's too much

Content Warning: Suicide (like honestly all of this thread is a content warning but for sure this next bit)

Sexy Murder fails to predict that Xiao Xingchen will take his own life and is shocked when it happens

In a very real Stephen King way, Sexy Murder decides he will bring Xiao Xingchen and it will be great and proceeds to lovingly clean and prepare his body for re-awakening

He sets 2 places at the table and sits down to wait

He realizes it's not working and proceeds to try to threaten the man back to life because Sexy Murder is not the most stable boy in the world

And now we know what was in the spirit capture pouch XY has been begging WWX to fix these past 2 episodes.

and now we know why it was important

Goodbye Sexy Murder, alas I knew him well

oh good we are still being sad

the ducklings are not acquainted with this kind of grief

these guys are

but wait, there's more

the way Song Lan's hands shake is just too much

OH GOD

LWJ is just - he knows this agony and he gives Song Lan his boyfriend's sword

the sadness

idk WWX, idk

no parallels here though. none

and in other news of things I really don't want, thanks but I hope you kept the receipt

@faneunice: I am so happy about the baby I can barely contain myself

oh my sweet child

I am so glad you are here and I would love you regardless but now you bring me SUCH PEACE and the last few eps have really just been a stretch of so much

WWX both get distracted by separate things

oh my heart

Connection y'all

WWX is teasing and LWJ is like "what else do you want I will buy it all how about this or this or anything"

WWX is a dummy but he is sweet and he loves one formerly tragic widow toaster

The ducklings should not be surprised but are not prepared

THIS IS YOUR SON!!!!

Lan Xichen is dumb in a different way than WWX but a potentially way more destructive way, but this is sad as hell

One Tragic Widow to another, this sucks right?

we all miss Hot Daddy

so so so much

I would really like to know what happened that night with sweetie pie

Oh btw, we think your other husband is up to some shit and probably killed him so like you do you

Lan Xichen, has been told by Hot Daddy and now his brother and his brother's new "friend" that maybe he should look into Meng Yao's dealings but Lan Xichen is a loyal idiot

Meanwhile the ducklings are having it OUT about WWX and it's kinda awkward for everyone in the courtyard

@sweetestdrain: lan xichen is like, this strange crime-solving man in black with a flute that my brother keeps looking at so significantly, GEE WHO CAN IT BE

@faneunice: I mean remember way back when LWJ was still so mad at himself about being into WWX and Lan Xichen invited him along to go water ghoul hunting because he *knew* based on a slight eyebrow twitch that his baby brother was in love.

*record scratch* *freeze frame* Yeah, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.

but also love is a lie, everyone is dead, and your life has been based on false principals.

Have a nice day

I misspelled principles in the previous tweet and as a consequence Jin Ling will look at me like I am the worst person ever

Sizhui is the best baby and I would think that even if he wasn't our baby but he is our baby so he's basically the bestest baby -- he is like guys let's just make up I'm sorry but y'all we need to chill before LWJ notices us being little shits

Oops, too late

Lan Wangji is like "2 alcohols, please"

Suzhui is in shock

Lan Wangji is the best "and?" I've ever seen in my life

the ducklings remember to like... go eat.

they are all having a very strange night

Lan Wangji vibes "you'll understand when you're older" and goes off in pursuit of the D

This show just...

Why is Wen Ning so cute?

Lan Wangji shows up with the alcohols and I don't understand why WWX is so intent on getting Wen Ning to scram since they just spent MOST of the day with him and it's not like LWJ doesn't know about him and I still don't know who the ducklings think anyone is but anyway

It's basically all worth it because we get to see WWX acting casual and in a lifetime of adorable sprawls, this one is easily top ten

WWX's face when he sees Lan Wangji holding liquor is like suddenly being given 3 wishes and the first 2 don't count

He's shocked. He's turned on. He's a little bit Alexis.

LWJ is basically like "we can pop bottle all night, baby you can have whatever you like"

like this is serious "You want it, I got it, go get it, I'll buy it" and I'm very much into it

LWJ knows his brother recognized WWX and that WWX's brother also recognized him and WWX still understands nothing

This is a man who has been pushed to the edge

WHAT ELSE DOES HE HAVE TO DO?? USE HIS WORDS?

he can't do that

They are hopeless

Hot brother is just Sad Brother now and honestly, maybe the red hair ribbon is pushing your "disguise" WWX

Jiang Cheng may be in the wrong but his jawline has never been tighter and honestly that might be more important

remember that one brief period of time where WWX was missing and LWJ and JC teamed up to find him?

I love that they hate each other so much it makes life so much richer for me, but I also want fic about it. So much fic -- that one time they got along via shared grief/worry

Jiang Cheng you are such a petty bitch and for that I am grateful

Lan Xichen is like "I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it"

Jin Ling asks what everyone is thinking and while I know WWX is just answering with the first thing that comes to mind, he isn't wrong.

LWJ tells WWX to just be chill and not start any fights and WWX doesn't know how to respond because that is not in his skill set AT ALL

Sweetie Pie is really struggling and needs help from his brother's husbands and I include this here because I miss him and am also worried for him and also I too long to throw myself, wailing, into the arms of Lan Xichen and just wait for him to fix my problems.

seems relaxing

before WWX runs off for more sleuthing he tells LWJ to "wait for me" and LWJ NARROWLY avoids responding "always" but he thinks it really really hard

WWX goes to hang out with Jin Ling and teach him some sick fight moves

honestly this is some adorable bonding

Jin Ling is a natural (and also Madam Yu's grandson so YEAH)

I love two bloodthirsty monsters

Wei Wuxian has never once calmed down and tried to get along with other people and he's only died like, 2 times now and so why change?

WWX explains his life's philosophy - Fight while you can still get away with it because later you will have to get along with other people*

*full disclosure: Wei Wuxian has only practiced the former and never the latter

Jin Ling is intrigued and wishes to subscribe to WWX's newsletter

Wei Wuxian: World's Most Ok Uncle

Awwww yeah, alone with bae

These two, I've missed these two but I've had work and Jiang Cheng started having emotions all over a timeline and so I've been buried in clips to music -- but it's time to just finish this damn show

I will need a Jiang Cheng Death Spoiler, btw. @sweetestdrain has said he lives

WWX makes a little paper doll man like we've seen him do before to talk to Yanli and Dr Cinnamon Bun that one time and probably other times but the last 2 weeks are a blur tbh.

@sweetestdrain: because wwx had a single sip of wine and was soooooo tipsy he couldn't help himself

and lwj is just *sighs*

This guy is just So Much but also please give us more

@faneunice: What. What is happening

Me: Paperdoll make outs

@faneunice: So I’m not high and the little paper doll did just hit on LWJ before running off to a secret spy mission?

@sweetestdrain: being hit on by a paperdoll is like the highlight of his life right now

oh no I said that and then got sad

The show then turns into a Leverage Heist Montage complete with sorta funky score and a jaunty little paper doll that just can't quit

Dimples' wife doesn't look good y'all

This next bit is real fucked up and Meng Yao starts giving off serious Cersei Lannister vibes as he is like "hey listen tell me who wrote this letter" and I don't want to freak Qin Su out, she seems like a nice lady with a dead kid, but maybe leaving town is a good idea

Qin Su is like "You are awful" and Meng Yao is like "and you are Mrs. Awful, so deal" and I seriously am concerned for her

Oh, shit - Dimples killed his kid!

He then dimples all at her and is like worried about his conference and me and Qin Su are BOTH sort of like... dude you can swing on a fucking DIME, like pick an emotional lane and stay in it

Meng Yao is like "no" and swerves into serious creep land and stashes his wife in a secret room.

It's way fucked up and he has been giving me Game of Thrones vibes since he failed to kill Clan Leader Jin that one time with the wine but is he Cersei or is he Tywin??

Paper doll WWX does a shocked face gasp, somehow, in paper doll form and like... how is he fucking charming even as a paper doll? He's unreal and I love him

WWX is shocked because of some seriously fucked up shit and like, I hate to tell you about this because it will ruin your night but there is no easy way to do it so I'm just gonna... MY is keeping a secret in a cabinet

Hot Daddy, NOOOOOOOO

what in the fucking Dahmer fuck, Dimples????

@faneunice: And in the middle of that holy fucking what reveal am I the only one who paused to go aww at how cute the little paper doll bow was? Because it was super cute even if it was to a severed head.

WWX is what to do, what to do and his body starts doing the shaky thing and LWJ says Empathy and so like, just like he did with Jing's memories a few episodes ago, he is going into Hot Daddy's mind.

I bet it's hot

Today on "Journey Into Hot Daddy" we see Hot Daddy acting hot

This is already one of the best episodes of television I have ever seen

Hot Daddy is like "Meng Yao? Sounds hot. Like me"

Meng Yao, looking like certifiable Hot Daddy catnip, is wholesomely toiling away, despite the scorn he receives constantly

Holy shit, Dimples is a fucking Disney Princess - like he should honestly break into a song right now about being an outsider who works harder than everyone else and possibly sing it with maybe a chipmunk? IDK, it's a vague work in progress

Hot Daddy doesn't stand a chance.

*I* barely stand a chance and I come equipped with the knowledge that eventually Meng Yao will have Hot Daddy's head stuffed in a cabinet, doing who knows what to it, for YEARS

This is just an effective meet cute, tailored to my interests

Incredibly perceptive Hot Daddy is incredibly perceptive. Also hot. I know at this point pointing out the hotness is a redundancy but I can't help it, I was born like this and I will die like this

YES SIR

oh, you mean over to the cave? sure that works too I guess

Hot Daddy doesn't appreciate hot goss and especially isn't down for any of this Mean Girls bullshit

He, really really isn't down for it. Like at all.

It's intensely hot - I know you know that at this point but I just want to stress how hot this entire scene is on every single level

Yeah, y'all better bow and show some respect

Nie Mingjue is a hot daddy of HONOR AND PRINCIPLES

Hot Daddy is weak for a virtuous Disney Princess but I can see how this works and honestly I am super into it

by all rights this should be 6 seasons and a movie

at this point I've texted the opening line of our Hot Daddy vid song to @sweetestdrain like...3 times

It's on a constant repeat in my head during this episode - like a buzzy hum

We flashback to like 20 episodes or so ago and the SHOCK AND BETRAYAL of this moment hits harder tbh

This person? This person is a STRANGER

Hot Daddy thought he knew Dimples - he thought Dimples was like HIM - but Hot Daddy was wrong

Nie Mingjue didn't know dimples could be used for nefarious purposes until this awful moment.

Hot Daddy immediately sees through Meng Yao's explanation and it feels like this flashback scene is longer or has more details then the time I saw if previously or it might just be I know who is who and what's what now but Hot Daddy remains perceptive. Also hot. Also hurt.

I don't want to relive this scene again why must I watch Hot Daddy suffer?

Oh, that's right -- WWX missed these episodes as he was off having angst of his own, so I guess we need the recap

call me what you will, but I always appreciate a shot composition just like this

get your fucking hands off Hot Daddy, you Dimple Ridden Demon!

But I am also intrigued and would like to learn more

Meng Yao just starts straight up murdering the Nie clan cultivators and I am not actually that sad and feel this is possibly his due so in this one evil act, I do support you

Hey, leave Hot Daddy's daddy out of this

wait. what?

yeah, no I'm reading this correctly, right?

oh man this is straight up cruel

also hot

I don't make these rules, I just point them out

Siri play "(I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight"

I feel like once you lose Hot Daddy's trust, you will never ever get it back -- he's seen too many faces, Dimples my dude, and while I get that kneeling ALWAYS works on Lan Xichen, Hot Daddy is different

Hot Daddy still goes through with the marriage

I blame Lan Xichen for everything that is gonna happen next, I have decided, and I don't say that lightly as I do cherish one amazingly kind, gentle and foolish man

@faneunice: Music threesome

Me: Goddamn predictable Lans

Meng Yao and Hot Daddy should not be trying to have music sex without the Lan Xichen buffer so I'm gonna straight up call this a bad idea

Yeah, Dimples can't help himself and does some sort of noncon music thing and this is so underhanded, such a betrayal of like... all the suffering lovesick Lans everywhere, having yearning sweet musical sex and meanwhile MY is like "bet I can make it *dirty*"

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Lan Wangji is super worried about Wei Wuxian and more than just the normal, base level of super worried about Wei Wuxian he is every single moment of the day which is elevated from the super worried about Wei Wuxian energy he was giving off pre-death

That's alright - my boy knows exactly what to do in this situation: Play Music and Stare Intensely

He isn't *wrong*

It was bound to happen. I was bound to fuck up the threading - I'm just sorry it happened NOW

https://twitter.com/sisabet/status/1314769461640146944?s=20

This is NOT the Hot Daddy Way, Meng Yao

Hot Daddy absolutely loses it, calls Meng Yao the one thing he KNOWS for a fact will hurt him and also throws him down a fuckton of stairs.

Things Are Bad Right Now

Meng Yao has this weird clothing adjustment thing he does after being criticized for being the child of a sex worker -- it's like he is putting himself back together in a very real and tangible way. It's his grounding method.

Hot Daddy is a Daddy one last time

there is soooo much looking up and looking down at key moments in this episode - just really fucking superb eyeline work all the way around

l knew this was coming and I still hate it

I KNEW THEY SHOULD NOT BE HAVING MUSIC SEX WITHOUT LAN XICHEN THERE

Meng Yao likes one thing for sure and that's power over others

he also likes revenge

Hot Daddy starts to absolutely lose it and the next part is straight up awful so I'm skipping to when Sweetie Pie shows up

ANOTHER CHANGE OF FACE

this is fucking awful

There is this moment where Nie Mingjue figures out what's real and a hallucination and he could kill Meng Yao - he has enough clarity left to accomplish it

Meng Yao of course also realizes this and positions Nie Huaisang directly in front of him as an unwitting human shield

Hot Daddy is a daddy one last time and protects his baby brother

Welcome to the Sexy Murder reprise

and so Sexy Murder does

After Hot Daddy's death, the WWX paper doll makes an exit except Meng Yao is a suspicious crafty tricks kind of guy and catches him

Meng Yao then re-enacts the scene from my office this morning when I was plagued by an extremely fast gnat

WWX lands on a sword and I couldn't figure out what he was trying to do until I capped it and omg is that Subian??? is that his sword???

Back at the ranch, Lan Wangji plays some music more intently as his levels of concern rise to near panic

we know what he looks like when he panics and this is it

and suddenly WWX is using his sword again possibly powered by LWJ's newly discovered Power of Panic. Idk but he gets away but now Meng Yao knows somethings up

The most exhausted paper doll in the world makes it to Lan Wangji's hand and I remember back when I was normal and stuff like this didn't give me emotions

LWJ puts WWX back in his body and there is nothing, absolutely nothing, sexual about it

Of course then there is the gripping to help him stand - absolutely necessary 100% touching

Then we get some absolutely necessary arm gripping and then they are off to fight crime!

More stuff happens but what really matters is that Lan Wangji still hates this guy SO MUCH and I live for the way he says his name - he says it with NAILS

So they manage to somehow get Dimples to let them into his secret chambers and of course everyone is surprised to see Mrs. Dimples there because as far as they all knew, Dimples was a super secret chambers type of dude, but anyway Jin Ling is sorta scandalized

WWX goes for the big reveal and instead of Hot Daddy's head, he finds a cursed dagger. Meng Yao is like "hey, remember you gave me like a 5 minute head start? A motivated person can do a lot in 5 minutes" and he's really like a combo of Littlefinger and Tywin

Content Note/Warning: suicide

Qin Su grabs the dagger and kills herself and like - did Meng Yao set this up? Is he surprised? I CANNOT TELL

I mean, even if he did set it up maybe he is still sort of sad and is just leaning into it?

So, I guess now is a great time to break the news to Sweetie Pie that his brother is dead - why not? Not enough people are crying in the Secret Chambers let's just go for trifecta bet

See, like in fannish exchanges when my friends guess I made something, I have been told I react to strongly in the negative and it gives me away and so maybe I should be taking lessons from Meng Yao here

Of course one time it was in person and @sweetestdrain asked if I made her Xena equinox gift vid and I was sort of surprised because I thought we had agreed to not speak of it and so I said "What? No, I hate Gabrielle!"

Which is not true.

Sweetie Pie needs to get his vengeance on is all I'm saying

Meng Yao continues to just - like did he have his wife kill herself in order to distract from his own guilt, give him a chance to hide the head and twist Lan Xichen up even more?? Honestly, he's an evil genius if so and is wasting his time with this lot - make a time machine dude

Meng Yao turns on WWX and deflects that he is being set up by a jealous Mo Xuanyu and like Lan Xichen is suspicious and sharp but just not ENOUGH ever and it's making me sad

He would be much happier teaching the third grade

Alexa play "The Boy is Mine"

Something happen and WWX draws a sword

The room: shocked face
WWX: oops

OH SHIT, did Dimples set this entire thing up?? Like did he set up ole Mo Xuanyu to resurrect WWX and then somehow figure out the paperdoll was WWX and put this plan into motion as well?

HOW DEEP DOES THIS CONSPIRACY GO???

tbf, having WWX makes for a very convenient scapegoat

Subian is a one-man type of sword

I'm such a sucker but yeah this whole run away together and wrist grasp sorta hold hands just will always always always get me and I blame it for that one time I was briefly into Sherlock

It's one thing to hide Hot Daddy's head in a closet for weird sex games for like years and kill your son and arrange for your wife to off herself and set up WWX and who knows who else for whatever but DO NOT MAKE YANLI'S AWFUL SON FEEL BAD FOR ONE SINGLE SECOND

HE HAS TO DIE NOW

I get that shit has hit the fan and the cat's out of the bag and the fork ran away with the spoon, but

this is super cute and I love it

OMG I mean I'm super into Lan Wangji's Nivea's Don't Mess With My Man vibe but protective WWX is also 100% a keeper, cherish him every single time he shows up

So I know it's just me and there is no overall shared thematic elements but honestly this just makes me

Think of this

Listen, the fact that LWJ wanting to stand with WWX is any type of surprise to WWX at this point is just -- our boy is very very dumb

The mutual protection feels are strong in these two, guys

WWX is like super concerned about ruining LWJ's reputation and since I first learned about the concept of having a reputation to ruin by watching Grease 2 on HBO as a small child, I IMMEDIATELY start imagining the Cool Rider AU

Lan Wangji is about to USE HIS WORDS I AM DYING

OMG!!!!! HE WANTS THE SAME PATH AND I AM DYING SEND HELP TOO LATE SEND NECROMANCERS

This is the closest we have been and will probably ever be to a full confession of feelings and devotion and I'M GONNA TAKE IT

Don't get me wrong, I love this and will never question it but I do want to point out that these dudes have absolutely shit timing for their Moments

also this appears to be hand holding which don't tell me if it isn't just let me be dead and happy

"I'll be your girl for all seasons"

this show is the most incredible thing I have ever seen in my entire life how am I expected to think about anything else ever again???

I am ruined

Obligatory fight scene including the absolutely required Lan Wangji 'bae in danger' alert system now featuring a boot to Su She's chest (patent pending)

You love to see it

this is the weirdest bridal recessional ever

oh honey no, this poor baby

WWX, fresh off of having and extended moment with LWJ in which all potential combatants held off very politely (and also lbh, they were some lookie-loos) decides to not push his luck and tries to schedule a possible group chat with his nephew

THIS IS WHY YOU DO NOT LET TEENAGE BOYS RUN AROUND WITH SWORDS (which is basically the thesis of the show)

Lan Wangji is close to murdering a 16 year old boy look at him, he does not care, he will kill anyone

THAT'S RIGHT JIANG CHENG, FEEL BAD

another day, another time LWJ man handles WWX off a battlefield

um, why is no one hugging this child???

was Yanli the only one who hugs on this show??? JIANG CHENG I HAVE SEEN YOU HUG GET DOWN THERE AND HUG THIS CHILD

I bet Lan Xichen gives great hugs... what were we talking about?

this show really loves to deliver exactly what you ordered

WWX looks like shit -- wonder why he isn't using his golden core to recover quicker maybe ask him about that LWJ???

@faneunice: Why are these fuckers always destroying me in the rain. It’s RUDE

Me: it's so Lan Wangji can cry

WWX uses this time to flash back to their greatest hits

Inappropriate laughter is kinda WWX's thing, have you not been watching the same show Lan Wangji?

WWX is like when everyone was using me for their own benefit you were the only person who cared about my well being, even if it meant telling me off

and also you are the only person who is standing beside me when the entire world hates me and I wonder what this could possibly mean?

What reason could LWJ possibly have for doing this?

It's a mystery, for sure

then he has to just ruin the mood because this show hates me and loves me and also wants me to suffer

Just call me angel of the morning

I am so ridiculously into WWX in a white silk sleepshirt that it might be A Thing for me from now on

NBD, Liz, just LWJ dressing WWX in a silk shirt and tucking him into a bed and not leaving the room as he cared for him probably 24/7 omg it's not like hurt/comfort on this scale doesn't come around every single day and is not a precious resource to be hoarded

oh my what is happening

I think I just got the vapors

@faneunice: good lord, that's a lot of WWX skin

Me: has to pause and walk away from this for a minute to just process

Annnnd so like I was so flustered by the everything - the shirt, the h/c, the skin, the curse just...

I did this to calm down.

Cool Rider sung by Michelle Pfeiffer

Ok, just gonna walk that off

ANYWAY, the fellas talk about plot rocks for awhile but I can't follow plot right now, only Zuul, so once again, someone hands WWX Subian, his poor, neglected, lonely and heartbroken sword

There is so much weight to WWX holding this sword AND NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT IT BUT US AND IT IS A BURDEN ON ME

Much like LWJ, Subian sealed itself after WWX's death and LWJ demonstrates but WWX doesn't understand metaphor

Oh honey -- WWX is like shit what if your brother finds out??

LWJ made a public declaration darlin, EVERYONE KNOWS

Lan Xichen shows up and is all "sure Wei Wuxian can stay here" but says since he's awake now that LWJ really needs to tell him everything which

LWJ basically was do-not-disturb when WWX was out of it which *twirls around room singing*

This is some deep brother shit but, this is an Established Lan Wangji Pattern - maybe Lan Xichen got 16 years distance on it but Lan Wangji sure as hell never did.

LWJ is right and he should say it

Lan Xichen is basically "How do you know your dick is a better judge of character than mine?"

Well, for one thing - LWJ never insisted his boyfriends get married in a weird throuple situation that no one was comfortable with instead of just being poly like a normal person

So WWX goes looking for other proof of the stuff he saw in Hot Daddy's head and like - I sorta love the Lans are such music geeks

Wei Wuxian has waited his entire life to be invited to Lan Wangji's forbidden chamber

He is visibly deflated to find out it's just a secret room in the library

I feel like it maybe should have taken LWJ longer to find the book in question but I'm also not really focused on plot now, still.

LWJ plays the song for them and there is this moment where he stops playing to turn the page and idk why but it cracked me up so much I had to rewind and watch is several times.

I still don't why or even if that is funny but I'm giggling

say what you will - these Lans go hard

God, this sad sack is just really bringing down my mood

Mood Improving

OH SHIT IS THIS THE TALK???

Does Lan Xichen need to have a private chat with WWX?

I mean, your brother is well into his 30s, but sure go on then

I would also like to know

WE ALL WANNA KNOW and we have waited patiently for 10 episodes and I am getting more chocolate after this as a reward

We get an incredible flashback and Su She is like yelling at LWJ that he protected WWX (well until the whole cliff thing) and LWJ tells Su She he is not qualified to talk to him

I love it when LWJ just lets his Regina George flag fly

*on wednesdays we wear white*

Dimples shows up and like - LWJ has never liked him since that whole shit went down at the hunt and also I don't like it when LWJ's face does this because yeah it's the freezer look (which I love) but now with an added layer of PAIN

OH FUCK

my poor tragic newly widowed toaster - he did make a mess because he is a mess

he is already being punished tho guys

OH GOD THIS IS WHY IT TOOK HIM 3 YEARS

I'm enraged

Um, is it shove up up your ass?

except they haven't - Lan Wangji is actually paying attention to the purpose behind those laws while everyone else is using them to play politics and go along with genocide -- befriending the evil is exactly what he did not do

Fuck you grand master

This is like when fundie kids attend a secular college - they come home all questioning things and using their critical thinking skills and we can't be having that

That being said, I am so proud of my tragic widow toaster listening to the ONE wise thing his brother has ever said

This is objectively awful, right?

I'm also gonna put it in every single vid I make from now on including Killing Eve and Xena

I don't even think it's possible to even come close to the amount of pain he was already in but like at least you gave it your best shot

Am I allowed to hate his uncle?

A summary of things I have texted @sweetestdrain while watching this:

I can't take this

there are 6 more episodes

7

there are 7 more episodes

I might have a panic attack

my chest hurts

Lan Xichen is really giving him the talk omg

He is like - "you understand what I am saying?"

TELL HIM MORE HE IS REALLY DUMB AND NEED THINGS SPELLED OUT

talking about Lans, like ya do

@sweetestdrain: THEY HAVE TERRIBLE TASTE

they're both all omg this guy is cute and murdery can I take him home?

I do not trust that WWX is absorbing the message he is supposed to be taking in here -- I feel I could design a power point that might do the job

Anyway, Lans are Bad at Love (please tell me there is a Halsey vid - I keep asking for it and I have been so good)

ok so see Lan Xichen that face you make when WWX asks you why your mom is a murderer - THAT IS YOUR ISSUE

Honey, falling for a murderer isn't just a shrug and "what are ya gonna do" face

Goddamn Lans

Oh shit, it really is The Lan Family Tradition

I mean I thought people were maybe exaggerating a little but nope

That's not the CQL Way - there is no need to exaggerate

OH NO

NOPE

NO I CANNOT

I gotta go do something this is too much no one warned me for a baby LWJ

@faneunice: OH NO BABY LWJ I CAN'T

Me: I have to keep stopping to like meditate

@faneunice: My heart literally hurts,I mean I am in physical pain right now from this

If I have a heart attack tonight, please make sure they put baby LWJ down as the cause of death

I am outside of my body right now

breathing is something the old Liz used to do

HE STILL CAME TO SIT ON HIS MOTHER'S PORCH BECAUSE LAN WANGJI NEVER GETS OVER ANYTHING

Me: so like ok
WWX GETS IT NOW? RIGHT? Like Lan Xichen used small words and very few metaphors

@sweetestdrain: Omg let's hope

WWX you broke his heart. You died and he broke and he doesn't do self repair

See, I'm worried Lan Xichen is gonna keep talking and confuse/distract Wei Wuxian from putting it all together

listen babe, I am here for you but honestly you just laid some super heavy shit on us and we need time to process it so can we talk about your terrible marriage later?

oh good Lan Wangji is back

oh god

Lan Wangji just walked up with no shame and two bottles of Emperor's Smile

Me: hey remember when we were SO UPSET during ep 32/33? Was it easier or harder to look at him on the cliffside or here? Like which one? I can't tell

@faneunice: They are in Cloud Recess and he brought him emperor's smile with his hair down and I CAN'T

My state is in absolute tatters and won't do anything about it and my learned helplessness is kicking in and I've buried myself in vidding for the past two days but y'know

I guess it's time to have these emotions

Lan Wangji is just so *soft* and I'm not ready for it

WWX is struggling here (and I remember what he told Jin Ling are the two most important things a man can learn to say and if it doesn't pay off - well it will pay off this is that kind of show)

WWX is gonna fuck this up, isn't he?

like he has Lan Wangji on a silver platter that is served to him BY HIS BROTHER

and he's gonna swerve

And he does -- they talk about LWJ's brother's relationship issues but LWJ brings it back

I know you guys told me this is different in the book but I kinda like that even at his MOST evil, WWX was just a farmer and while I think there is a hugely interesting story in how you can come back from that level of guilt and learn to live - I also don't want it here

I want soft boys being soft and believing in each other

I keep having emotions and having to stop and like just scream at people. It's a lot. All of this. It is so much and LWJ is just so...peaceful here and WWX is relaxing into it and I'm as tense as I have ever been in my entire life

God, this show is just really beautiful

@faneunice: oh, okay destroy me in the snow now, one weather system is not enough to encompass the pain this show wants to inflict upon me

WWX, guess what other idea you should grow confident is real?

I get they need things to talk about but also I sort of don't want plot rocks in this scene. I am fine with them standing in the snow just looking at each other for 20 minutes. This is not a hardship for me.

I do like how they bring it back around to WWX just being able to let go of all of this resentment which was the entire underlying concept of ep 19-33

oh honey

ok this is actually moving as hell

Wei Wuxian usually requires way more alcohol before he becomes this philosophical

The framing of this still means I have to go back and recap the dialogue because I miss so much of it

So now we get this meditation on guilt and shame and blame and part of me is like, I love this, and part of me is like "I could watch a Brene Brown Ted Talk for this, you guys really need to bang it out"

WWX is really just letting go of everything and making peace with his past right here on LWJ's mother's porch.

be free Wei Wuxian you beautiful sweet dummy

I have decided every single time the theme song plays on this show it means they are boning in the very next scene. It's a bone signal, if you will, and I am a sucker for romance

oh god interior thoughts

oh god duo interior thoughts

this is the sweetest thing I have ever seen and it only took us 43 episodes, one golden core, and one resurrection to get us to this point

I just love this one thirsty boy

he really just took this amazing moment of love and tribute and did this to it and I AM HERE FOR HIM

YES!! IT IS THE ONLY TWO THINGS A MAN NEEDS TO LEARN TO SAY!!!

SURELY HE KNOWS NOW????

Let's give them some privacy

I feel it is character appropriate that after a trip to Bone Town, Lan Wangji would feel mutual meditation is a good follow up

Weirdly, WWX seems really tired.

Maybe he didn't get enough sleep?

Dimples shows up and absolutely cold bloodedly let's Lan Xichen know he's not having ANY of this

DAMN

I want Jin Guangyao to write every single one of my break up texts from now on he is extremely effective at this

JGY then basically let's his maybe exboyfriend know he can protect LWJ but to be careful about WWX and lets a lure to the burial mounds slip out and then

AND then he turns on another fucking dime and watch this face do its work

We now know it is way to much to expect of a Lan to see through this invite to their husband's funeral by the other husband who probably murdered him

Gutted

Dimples is not my favorite but he does have so much game

This 3rd photo is just a man, utterly destroyed

I am not confident in this dreamboat's ability to enact revenge upon someone he has true feelings for but prove me wrong, Lan Xichen

So the fellas head off the burial mound by way of getting Apple who is now friends with all of the bunnies

THE. RABBIT. IS. A. METAPHOR.

I was not expecting the theme song to come up again this quickly in a single episode but it did and so I guess there is a stop somewhere in this scene where there is road sex.

I support their choices

aww remember when LWJ wrote that song about being headband married and now they play it at significant events and whenever they bone?

Good times

WWX IS SO CLOSE TO FIGURING OUT ONE THING

LWJ he has a hard enough time as it is you don't have to do this

Money Bags LWJ prepares yet again to give WWX anything he wants

WWX is so thrilled to hear ONE PERSON take up for the Yiling Patriarch, it's just touching

THEIR FACES MAKE ME SO PROUD

It's MIANMIAN!!!!

there is evidence that WWX was able to at least get ONE thing this episode so with that I DIE because episode 43 is just A LOT and recovery is necessary

@sweetestdrain: best Untamed vid

Me: Agreed

https://twitter.com/shati_was_taken/status/1316155069566509057?s=20

Mianmian continues to dominate, just really doing well being a woman on this show and surviving

Mianmian is like "get you a man who can clean, cook and raise your children and hold your sword when you are busy" and I love this for her

oh god, is this my favorite thing that has ever happened?

Wei Wuxian wants to give little Mianmian some lucky money and her parents protest and Money Bags Lan Zhan just hands the purse to him.

I might have a total thing for WWX spending LWJ's money without a care in the world

This show better end with them adopting 10 orphans and LWJ just watching WWX play with children like it's his favorite show

I have decided that I have to finish this watch before Fanworks Con despite only wanting to vid right now, so let's do this:

Mianmian's husband has not been watching this show

Mianmian continues to be the absolutely stellar, want to be her when I grow up, completely outstanding

oh god -- this undead cutie just kills me all the time and WWX is just so positive about him developing a terrifying skillset

There is just so much caretaker vibes here and I am only one person and while I do have emotional support during this watch, like - this is a lot

@faneunice: Wen Ning is literally the nicest person on the entire show, which considering he’s a mostly dead weapon that is brutally lethal when used means some people need to look at their lives and choices

Oh, god - I would like one scene where I don't have to feel so much, just one

Does LWJ remember the night you went on a date and he met y'all's son? HE MIGHT RECALL IT. It's not like he has spent the last 16 years thinking about that night and how he could have made different choices

Jeez - WWX, Lan Xichen had a talk with you and everything!

It's like - they both are standing in front of a huge significant memory for each of them and wondering if the other person even remembers it and they are so dumb and precious and I want to smash their faces together

Did it? I mean, yes it has been at least 17 years for LWJ but has it been only a year or so for WWX? Like, is everyone 16 years older than him, emotionally, now? Cause that's a big gap - luckily most of his inner core who are still alive are all emotional dum-dums

I will never ever ever get tired of watching the clip where Yuan feeds WWX his soup -- it's such a baby thing to do and they are delightful together

OMG

SAY SOMETHING, LAN WANGJI

"oh, btw, funny you should mention Yuan..."

Instead we get Wen Ning doing his best Danzig, across the countryside

This scene of loss and just -- the futility of it all, hitting him - hitting them both

I can't deal with the burned lotus corpses -- like how are they still there, 16 years later???

Wen Ning having emotions is not something I can deal with

Remembering what that soil is made of and this starts to hit even harder

are we letting go of the past? again?

Maybe embrace the future of adopting 12 kids and fighting crime with your stoic husband?

OH GOD - he's carrying his sword around in his magic pouch

(that sounds so much dirtier than I meant it to and I am kinda proud)

OMG THANK GOD TELL HIM

This is the closest to the truth as WWX has ever gotten and so do I need to be proud?

Basically, my face is also LWJ's face which is also Wen Ning's face

omg I love the babies and they are being so cute

Jin Ling fighting with this other kid is so amazing and I'm so into how offended Sizhui seems to be on his behalf

I can't lie - I burst out laughing at "I'm full of rage you bandoned bastard" and immediately felt terrible but Jin Ling was obviously raised by and is related to Jiang Cheng because attempting to fight someone while both are tied up is very much On Brand

this is the best show that has ever aired on television

Sizhui and Jingyi are so happy to see Lan Wangji - it's like "WE ARE SAVED NOW" and we love to see it

Yeah, they are and also those are Sizhui's DADs (he is unaware as if half of his dad duo but it still stands) and so try to not criticize them too much, you nameless Jin disciple who was mean to Jin Ling and therefore I already dislike you

this was funny until I noticed how scared Jin Ling is and then I felt sad

Sizhui is the best baby and @faneunice will invite you all to her Ted Talk about this

I feel that the inadvertent Lan burns are the worst burns

Shit LWJ, chill out, Jin Ling has only stabbed WWX like once -- that's just how this family rolls

I just... I don't think I will ever get tired of this exact dynamic and we only have 6 episodes left

omg the protective Lans! I love this so much and also Sizhui being gentle with Jin Ling

I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I am SO INTO THIS

The gentry have arrived - I love this child and I'm happy his father showed up

Jiang Cheng!!! I have missed you so much and now you are here and omg this is awkward now

Awkwardness Intensifies

@sweetestdrain: the uncle was totally into wwx's mom right?

me: I think all uncles were into WWX's mom -apparently she was a total smoke show.

I mean if Madam Yu was jealous

MADAM YU

This feels like a very Declarative Statement

Inner LWJ:

Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes"

(if there are not a gazillion vids to this already than all my fandom faith will be lost)

ok first of all - WHEN were they enemies??? The 3 minutes they fought on the rooftop before LWJ immediately flipped to WWX's side and then had his own really intense meltdown RIGHT IN THIS SPOT where he stood against all the clans?

I would like links to fic about the exact method the Yiling Patriarch uses as a matter of simple scientific curiosity

FINE, I'll focus on the show

How are all the juniors so good

THE FRAMING OF THIS WHERE THE RACK FOCUS MOVES TO LWJ'S UNCLE

this is just nice

Sweetie Pie! Why are you here, honey, this is not the place for you

I worry

So some stuff goes down and mob mentality takes over

WWX is still not having it but it's not like logic has ever worked in these circumstances

Puppets show up and Jiang Cheng is RIGHT OUT IN FRONT

ok this moment of WWX swooping in to save and then witness Jiang Cheng's spiritual power disappearing is everything to me right now

All of the gentry's spirit power locks up and everyone is spitting up blood, which people do in this universe A LOT, and so they all end up in Demon Subdue Palace and repair the magic circle and like now we are in a bottle episode, I guess

OK! I KNOW THAT LWJ DID NOT JUST CALL HIS UNCLE GRAND MASTER NETFLIX!!!

I'm finally catching on and it is A BIG DEAL that he calls him uncle in this moment

All interactions with WWX, boiled down to their essence

So now we get a lot of plot rocks and we have suddenly fallen into an Agatha Christie set up

It's a lot of WWX walks around and cross examines people but mostly Su She

LWJ's continuing inner thoughts:

That you were Romeo, you were throwin' pebbles
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"
And I was cryin' on the staircase
Beggin' you, "Please don't go, " and I said

Ok so this is more Agatha Christie stuff but WWX's soft change of voice when he says "Lan Zhan" is always appreciated and I do like the team up and fortunately LWJ is able to pull himself out of his Taylor Swift fantasy long enough to participate

Lan Wangji's inner radio just quickly switched over to Let's Hear it for the Boy

I mean, this is the show

LWJ is so pissed that his Boyfriend Powers had to activate AGAIN due to Su She and it interrupted a very involved fantasy about how he wants to word his song dedication to WWX on Delilah After Dark

BABIES!

this looks like it's it - everyone's toast and thanks for all the fish

and then

just

Guys

Is WWX stripping to his underwear? Well... Lan Wangji's underwear that he happens to be wearing?

"am I old enough to see this?"

This might be changing who I am as a person

My brain takes a moment from the intensely hot to remind me that it's the blood pool because "It smells like blood" because my brain hates me and wants me to be as happy as WWX's pick up lines are successful.

LWJ is ready to kill anything that steps even in the slightest direction of WWX, of that I have no doubt whatsoever, this is a single minded man of layers and depth who is also very incredibly focused on never returning to tragic widowhood

MORE BABIES!!!

Listen, WWX is always the bait - we don't need two!

Parents! just love to see dad backing dad up

This is a work of art, a crowning achievement, this is why film was invented

"Hi Delilah, longtime listener, first time caller. I want to tell you about a very special person in my life..."

I'm running out of words and I hate to be reduced to just BABIES when the juniors (but esp Sizhui) are on screen but also? BABIES

This is just incredible the teamwork and absolute trust

WWX moving confidently in this space, knowing that LWJ won't let anything touch him

LWJ absolutely focused on whirling around and keeping WWX in his protective bubble

I could watch this all night

Wen Ning and I agree: this is the most goddamn beautiful thing we have ever seen

You can just see the disappointment in the so-called leaders the juniors are feeling right now and it's like the death of their idealism except they actually have freaking role models right now - which is the key difference, I think

Jiang Cheng is horrified and worried and also a gentleman if not a scholar and seriously - fuck these old dudes, Jiang Cheng - you are so better than that now and also they can't dress, not like you, seriously just it's a new world embrace it my darling

Sizhui is like "MY PARENTS NEED ASSISTANCE"

there are so many many family feels right now

It's all I ever wanted honestly and delirious WWX sometimes figures things out, right?

The side of the family who isn't supposed to care, actually caring so very very much

OH MY GOD

I am in a glass case of emotions

Wen Ning has proven himself to be the sharpest tool in the shed and therefore in the absence of his sister, the former sharpest tool in the shed, it is now his job and his DUTY to explain what is actually happening to WWX.

Help me, Wen Ning. You're my only hope.

The framing of Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang both listening to baseless gossip about WWX is super interesting in this scene - as two people who have known him well at either one point or for almost his entire life

It's starting to get to be almost like those Oscar and Buster scenes in Arrested Development

"yes, your...uncle"

my smol children are very funny in how they are like "are we seriously riding with the ghost general???"

Wen Ning takes this step forward and then a step back

Which is fine because Sizhui will come forward this distance on his own and this is just... so well done

I'm gonna smack some kids upside the head. Well, not Jin Ling he has actual trauma here so he gets hugs instead

Oh my heart. I mean I knew but to watch Wen Ning also know and just

I honestly miss Dr. Cinnamon Bun so much right now and I know she is a fictional character and I can just go back and watch her episodes but her absence is FELT right now

I want to go on a rant about how Superman treats Kon-el like a brother when he's the equivalent of the kid's genetic father& Lex Luthor has NO PROBLEM calling the kid "son." It's so bad that BATMAN has to give Clark parenting advice

But this is not the place for that

Anyhow remember how Wen Ning was searching the Burial Mounds to see if anything was left and there was nothing?

I am being split in half watching his hope here

oh sizhui you are the best baby

There is hope and then there is confirmation and nothing good has happened to Wen Ning in so long and in fact most of his life he has been either ostracized or bullied because of what happened to him as a kid, or he was the Ghost General and demonized and this

this is good

I don't know why these caps are so blurry I felt like the pc was in focus but idk

Jin Ling absolutely LOSES it before Wen Ning can touch Sizhui, which is interesting, and then pushes Sizhui in the fallout

Listen guys, I KNOW Sizhui is everyone's favorite and we all want to defend him, I want to defend him too, but also back the fuck off Jin Ling you don't KNOW

omg he is a tiny orphaned Jiang Cheng and I love him so much

this is a conversation they seem to have a lot

Sizhui is the mediator but no one is listening and it's too late anyway

God, just - WWX goes to Wen Ning first and like I'm glad but also there is a teenager in so much pain right now maybe let's focus on de-escalation right now

(but screaming internally over "I wanted to see him")

Let's all just yell at the angry boy holding a sword because that works

(it doesn't work)

oh god, please please HUG THIS CHILD

honestly ANY of you (maybe not wen ning) - HUG HIM

OMG IT GOT WORSE PLEASE PLEASE HUG HIM THIS IS YANLI'S SON

OH THANK GOD

please hug him now

I mean I'm glad you are defending him but jesus if this show ends and this child does not get hugged at least once by SOMEONE I will flip a table

The kids are alright

I swear I would vote for this child for president.

Sweetie Pie and I both LOVE a mouthy teenager

This is the kid who programs parental controls on the TV to block Fox News and he is a hero

Oh good we are at Lotus Pier, everyone can rest and regroup and

oh yeah I'm not ready

How are both of them the best at the same time?

OK NOW TELL HIM

Wen Ning is so delighted and happy and the middle school trauma we all go through is just so evident with him

Also, is Sizhui remembering? Like he would have to be remembering right there is no way this is just a story he heard

oh

OH GOD

It's not just about telling WWX - it's about what is right for Sizhui. I'm floored but also like - protective dad Lan Wangji is doing things to me. I think I need some time to sit with this

We've spent the last couple of eps on this concept of letting go but how do you let go of the only place you have ever wanted to be?

Don't ask LWJ, he does not know ANYTHING at all about letting go of anything

oh god, that hit me right in several vulnerable spots, ow

oh bunnies I need you to make up this is really hurting me inside

Why are they so married?

OMG how many children does Hanguang-Jun have to raise?

WWX's face when Jiang Cheng lets him enter is a study in surprise and delight

Everyone gasps and it's like... guys you just fought zombies for days, this woman has a few facial scars, calm the fuck down

Sexy Murder shows up the only way he can anymore: via flashback

um... what?

so like a Clerks situation? Or what?

Honestly none of these maiden aunties are old enough for this conversation

Well, maybe Sweetie Pie - Sweetie Pie gets around, I AM CONVINCED

(Jin Ling constantly being upset about his uncle and also convinced he is way too young to hear any of this is precious)

Then the other lady gets up to tell her story and remember how excited I was to not be watching Game of Thrones anymore AND how I clocked Meng Yao to be Tywin Lannister?

Sigh. At least I got him in the right family

These low lifes were JUST chanting Kill Wei Wuxian like less than an episode ago.

My face matches the last panel

Siri play "People Got A Lotta Nerve"

Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling have had their entire foundations rocked but go on

Oh, oh no

The reason he says "no" here is because LWJ says "want"

He doesn't want to do this but maybe he needs to?

ok - so I know the comments have been buzzing about the three bows to the ancestors for a wedding and so I counted bows and yep, this counts right?

WWX: I'm honoring my past and family
LWJ: We are married now

The fact that he opens with this self deprecating remark is just the saddest bit of character work ever, isn't it?

LWJ is like - "yeah I know about how much of a trouble maker you were as a kid" (silently adds "husband" at the end of this statement)

Listen, I believe you - Madam Yu thought her husband had moved in his kid that he had with his mistress into their house and there was hell to pay from then on - no way is WWX coming out of that with intact self esteem

His little "my fault, my fault" here is just heartbreaking

He is a good person and I won't be taking any questions

Sworn brothers seems to mean SO MANY different things in this story

WWX says even if he can prove there was a second flute, he is still the person who made it possible ultimately and also yep right on time here's Jiang Cheng who does not seem pleased to find them here.

Where did he think WWX would go, though? Like he made a beeline to this room

This frame is so intense

Jiang Cheng is mad about SO MANY things in this moment but like it's interesting the one he keeps coming back to is having LWJ here

WWX is so deferential and unengaged and I honestly think this is stoking Jiang Cheng up even more

He's gonna keep this situation escalating

LWJ is like - oh and fuck you, too but you better watch your mouth right now this man is MY HUSBAND

WWX will just endure all of this because honestly he thinks he has earned it - maybe not to the extent he USED to think he has earned it but he still accepts it as Jiang Cheng's due

And then he brings Yanli into the mix and somethings start to happen -- HOLD LWJ BACK!

I'm intensely dying btw -- like I haven't talked a lot about my own emotional reaction because JC's has been so extreme but I want to throw my computer across the room and curl up on the floor

WWX is still just trying to flee at this point -- let's go let's go, I wanna be out of here and then

JC just pushes the right button

Oh, so you want to talk?

Jiang Cheng's LWJ issues are deep and complex and twitter does not offer me nearly enough characters to unpack all of this here but - in a way he is right

WWX was reckless and heroic and short sighted and it directly led to the massacre at Lotus Pier

The thing with the Wens was escalating DESPITE WWX & it's not like Madam Yu was gonna consent to letting Lotus Pier be occupied, so ultimately he is a catalyst but it was gonna happen.

It's just - he did it for LWJ.
He did it for the Wen survivors

But what about JC??

JC is hurt and WWX picks EVERYONE over him and he's gonna go for the jugular here - the jugular being LWJ

AND HE GOES TOO FAR

and suddenly WWX is busting out his courtesy name and I don't think I've ever once heard WWX use it but shit is hitting the fan and you can insult WWX all you want but you better not look cross-eyed at LWJ
My dog is curled up on the floor so I don't have to

WWX SNAPS

JC wants this - he wants to fight - he wants to get it out in the only way that makes sense to him and he wants it over and he wants WWX to go back in time and fix it all and he wants WWX TO PICK HIM over everyone else and he wants LWJ TO JUST GO

Oh god they need Yanli as their buffer, this is never gonna work

I am devastated but also planning so many vids. I'm like this devastated little mercenary plotting and crying over here

WWX just used up whatever stores of whatever he had left and so LWJ is gonna just help him make a retreat

AND MY LUNCH BREAK IS OVER OH NOOOOO

Jiang Cheng is not prepared to let WWX walk away -- I think on some level he knows this would be it -- it is over and he can't have that and so he does the only thing he knows how to do

He tries to pick a fight

Except WWX is just... he's done - he's weary and tired but everything has been so wrong on such a fundamental level to JC for so long he can't accept what he sees

JC hates LWJ so much in this moment. Like he thought he hated him before but now...

He hates him like I hate Wilco, that is to say with a pure and deep disgust that on some level you know is irrational and yet it makes such a deep emotional sense you can only embrace it

Things are happening so fast - WWX has just taken to bleeding out of various orifices in the last few episodes and he's just worn so thin

And this is JUST WRONG and JC again can't accept the wrongness

All JC knows is WWX is walking away again and he Can't. Let. It. Happen.

LWJ is going to murder JC &has that complete intent, but in the very next second WWX swoons and LWJ is contractually obligated to catch his secret (to wwx) husband and cradle him in his arms

He puts a pin in murdering JC because this tragic formerly widow has priorities

Wen Ning shows up to prevent JC from making LWJ put his secret (to WWX) husband on the ground *shudder* in order to murder JC and we always knew Wen Ning was a good kid but maybe he should not be the one to deal with JC but also it's not like LWJ can NOT cradle WWX right now

Wen Ning is not playing around you guys what is happening

oh

oh no

wait

shit wait this is happening???
WHAT???????

I thought this was never gonna be revealed omg what is happening right now omg I need to stop for a minute this is too much omg just do I want this to happen?

Merlin really fucked me up and what is happening????

oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OH SHIT

HE JUST DID IT

I am gasping for air and I might need an inhaler can this show cause an asthma attack????

I never wanted JC to find out and now I NEED FOR HIM TO KNOW

I am so conflicted I can't believe this is real what is happening

I'm just - my dog is so alarmed right now

omg they did it

they really fucking did it

they told Jiang Cheng

wait no they need to be more explicit - small words Wen Ning

what is this even how the words to deal with this someone said something straight up it's all out now no more secrets no more lies no more pain no more tears no more fears no more game I'm so tired no more drama no one's ever gonna hurt me again

oh god this flashback

I need to go lie down outside in the rain

Let's take a break and check in with Lan Wangji

OH GOD HE KNOWS NOW

LIKE HE KNOWS HE KNOWS AND WE KNOW HE KNOWS AND HE KNOWS NOW

I never wanted this pain for Jiang Cheng but also I'm sick of the secrets and Wen Ning has HAD IT UP TO HERE AND HE IS NOT GONNA TAKE THIS ABUSE OF WWX ANYMORE

Wen Ning is speaking his truth and it feels so good look at this precious undead child I love him

The way Jiang Cheng just drops Subian here wounds me very deeply and again the dog is so so very alarmed

my throat hurts

is Wen Ning the only person on this show who knows how to explain things?

I mean I know JC believed it because he had to believe it - it was too good to be true but questioning it meant he had to not hold the only lifeline he saw at that time

oh honey listen to the nice undead man

Wen Ning is like "you fucking asshole you know what happened but fine let me remind you of the best person you or I or ANY OTHER HUMAN HAS EVER KNOWN:"

he's right and he should say it

Dr. Cinnamon Bun I miss you every day and you are needed in every moment that all of these dummies continue to draw breath except for WWX for about 16 years and your brother (I assume) who doesn't need to breathe (and is not a dummy at all omg)

Yeah, remember HER Jiang Cheng you romantic fool you still have that comb in your coat, don't you?

Again, just in case he did not catch the gist -- small words, very explicit

Wen Ning could give lessons to Lan Xichen in getting a simple point across, all I'm saying

Let's check in again with Lan Wangji - hey buddy, how're you holding up there?

oh

Wen Ning could give lessons on how to really twist a knife omg ouch

but like I'm glad he is connecting all these dots so everyone gets to have their own personal regret flashback

I actively cannot believe this is actually happening but we get Lan Wangji weeping softly over Wei Wuxian's unconscious body and instead of enjoying it I am in SO MUCH PAIN WHY CRUEL WORLD WHY???

YEAH YOU TELL THEM WEN NING

YEAH DOES IT MAKE SENSE THAT ALL OF A SUDDEN WEI WUXIAN DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HIS REPUTATION OR WHAT HIS FAMILY OR FRIENDS THOUGHT???

That WEI WUXIAN was just fine with being ostracized and alone? THAT WEI WUXIAN

HE. HAD. NO. CHOICE.

*sobbing crawling on the floor screaming at the world at large*

I really need to lie down just this has been a lot and I don't trust this show to let me recover although what the fuck else can they do to me now outside of an mpreg reveal??? It's all out

oh shit

Lan Wangji is actually gonna go murder Jiang Cheng or the very least rip that golden core right out of him

I do appreciate this momentary break from every single emotion I have ever felt to just appreciate the hotness that is Furious Lan Wangji

Guys this is (one of) Lan Wangji's (secret) wedding night and now it has come to THIS???

much like Wei Wuxian, this will not stand

this has just been too much

like I have to go lie down for real I can't handle anything else just

this has been just one single episode omg this has been a gazillion years what is time even I question everything right now the universe none of it makes sense

I think I had a dream about this

Oh Wen Ning honey

OMG Yuan

I actually completely forgot about everything not related to the last scene, yes thank you for bringing me back to the plot Wen Ning you really do so much valuable work and no one thanks you for it

OMG FLASHBACK

OMG I AM VIDDING IT

oh oh oh

wait they cut before we could see him pick the baby up!

GO BACK, I HAVE NEEDS

this is both wonderful and terrible and I need a drink

this baby and this other baby talking about other sweet babies is just

oh

NO YUAN WEN NING GAVE YOU HIS SOUP

again we get this powerful reminder that LWJ may seem like he only cares about one thing but he absolutely does not -- he cares so much about Sizhui's happiness and well being and I really don't think I can take it tonight

oh god

just let me die

noooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I have had to stop this scene so many fucking times. I am just a simple person with very few needs and I don't want this but I might need it

GOD

LIE TO ME WEN NING

yeah, like - just let us believe that Wen Qing figured it out

or you know just tell us how it went down we were not already weeping on the floor this is fine I wasn't using this at all 💔

oh god it got worse

it got worser

this is the worsest

oh shit I know the answer and don't ask this question you do not want to know TRUST ME LWJ

i told you not to ask

yeah, he would that beautiful courageous fool with low self esteeem

yeah, yeah this is how it is LWJ

oh it's time for his flashback regret

YEAH HIS TEMPERMENT SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING AMAZING NOW DOESN'T IT??

I gotta go take a bath or something I have been through the wringer and i might be dehydrated

WWX wakes up and is becoming accustomed to just, this everything

*sweeping gesture to just include A LOT*

Everyone is really emotional and WWX of course misinterprets what is happening because that is how he lives

It's sweet he thinks Jiang Cheng hurt LWJ's feelings

He is so serious explaining Jiang Cheng's personality as if this was a secret or something not easily observable if you spend 3 minutes in his company

He is so worried that LWJ is upset about what JC said and it's so sweet and LWJ is just *crying on the inside now instead of the outside like before*

of course then we get to WWX's sad regret flashback to Yanli

oh no

I CANNOT KEEP BEING DEVASTATED IT IS THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY AND I HAVE A JOB BUT STILL I PERSIST

just... god I can't deal with the layers here

cheering himself up immediately because that's again just how he lives, WWX decides to take the opportunity to enjoy the food of his youth

Except, isn't this stealing? The Lan rules are pretty clear about stealing (and LWJ does not remember the chickens)

FINE I GUESS WE WILL LIVE BY YOUR MORAL CODE UGGHHH

The gears are turning in LWJ's head and he suddenly sees the shade of gray present in this situation and also?

Wei Ying wants something. Wei Ying should have what he wants.

HIS FACE in the second frame is just stunned and beautiful and omg make this stop

and now he's weirded out like you get when everyone is suddenly really nice to you and you worry something is super wrong

holy shit they really went to town on some lotus seeds but look at WWX face!

LWJ is just excuding so much "worth it" right now

a sparkly butterfly appears and they have had the ability to do this the entire time??

This show does establishing shots so well sometimes and this is particularly lovely for perhaps no other reason than aesthetic so I'm into it

People picking on Wen Ning will forever upset me and WWX but like... it's also so precious this poor child is a deadly weapon he could end everyone in this entire town but he can't protect himself even a little bit

LWJ lives to serve and that's the end of episode 46

OMG THAT WAS ONE EPISODE

47-50 GUYS THIS IS THE HOME STRETCH I AM SO TIRED

and my lunch hour is over

It's been A Week but that goes without saying

Wonder what the dudes are up to in where ever it was they needed to go from the last episode

You can practically see LWJ's life pass in front of his eyes and the soundtrack switch to "hello darkness my old friend"

The Ghost General is currently being bested by small children which is honestly the cutest way to be bullied imaginable so go Wen Ning for creativity

WWX decides it is necessary to physically move LWJ rather than just indicate he look at Wen Ning which I can respect as a life choice

So, at first he was looking to hook Wen Ning up with a lady cultivator and now WWX is proposing Sizhui? I mean I think this is a fine idea but obviously there are THINGS that WWX doesn't know unless he figured it out in context which, ha!

I promised myself I would stop recapping every single scene and conversation as a self care gesture but I have no self control

Does WWX know that LWJ raised Sizhui? Like what is actually going through both of their minds? I need answers

Historically, WWX saying "it's going to be fine" and then smiling before running off means:

A. It's not fine
B. It is really really not fine
C. OMG RED ALERT SHIT IS HITTING THE FAN

but maybe that is just me?

The Great Cultivator Detectives, detecting

Wei Wuxian does that detective thing where he questions this priest and lets him start to walk away and he goes "oh yeah, one more thing"

This is a classic tv detective move

So like which of my favorite fictional detectives (not counting favorite inept detectives which would be a much better list including David Addison and Shawn & Gus) is Wei Wuxian?

Also I included the Sherlock Mouse instead of Sherlock because I am a good person

Lan Wangji is just checking to make sure that both of Wei Wuxian's eyes are tracking.

Please discuss Peter Falk and how much we love in the comments at this time unless it turns out he is terrible and if so NEVER TELL ME

(same for Jerry Orbach)

How did LWJ perfect the Mom Arm without a minivan??

I literally gasped "ZEWU JUN!"

WWX and I both check on LWJ - how ya doing buddy?

"not fucking good, liz, not fucking good at all" is the read I get

Oh great here is Yanli's terrible son whom I love more than most real people in mortal danger because his dog barked at a door.

This is fine

As soon as I saw Yanli's terrible son who is also somehow the best person we all know try to climb over the wall, I knew WWX was gonna go for broke bc I have been watching this show for 47 episodes& have learned a thing or two about a little thing I like to call characterization

Some suave fucker is just waiting to make his big significant entrance and while we are Not Friends (cause of Hot Daddy, rest in peace) I do respect style

This is hot as hell and I continue to approve, if not of his methods, of Dimples' aesthetic

I mean, yeah it's smart to make sure WWX can't call upon whatever kind of resentful energy he can still channel but also? DO WE HAVE A NEW CANDIDATE FOR SEXY MURDER?

ok so Dimples being all offended that Lan Xichen would ASSUME he would hurt his nephew, Jin Ling (which again is hilarious for meme purposes) when Dimples is currently holding MOST OF THE MAJOR CLAN LEADERS hostage and is threatening WWX with painful death raises him in my esteem

HOW DARE YOU IMPLY, I, A MURDERER, WOULD KILL SOMEONE ELSE, ZEWU JUN.

now hang on here while I concentrate on murdering this one dude, right here

(you know the issue in most relationships is the problem here: communication)

WWX and LWJ do that married-silent-communication thing but Dimples is a sharp cookie who knows what's up with these two and seems to be waiting for this or at least able to think fast

maybe both

Whoops

Also this is so fucking hot I love this show so much for these wonderful GIFTS I swear I am well fed

The flashes to like other people's tense faces here is sort of hilarious because there is no question as to what LWJ is going to do because, again, we are 47 episodes in and CHARACTERIZATION

gifts after incredible gifts on a platter for my enjoyment and I am a glutton

Honestly he could tell LWJ to do the Hokey Pokey right now and LWJ would turn himself around because that's what it's all about

omg this is sooooo good this is just this so much what I want in every single thing ever I watch this right here THANK YOU SHOW

I saw this movie at a very critical developmental point and so yeah.

I really love The Untamed a lot

Lan Wangji continues to be my most perfect Tragic Widow In Recovery ever and I love you sir and you are perfect and are so much more than even the highest compliment I can ever give a person

(which is actually toaster as I really love toast)

These. Boys. Are. So. Dumb. And. I. Love. Them. So. Much.

I have so many intense emotions this show is perfectly wrought

OH MY GOD THIS MAN IS THE...

I would like to reach into my screen and very gently shake WWX

He has no idea and yeah I've been watching this show for 47 episodes and there is a little thing called characterization yadda yadda yadda

LAN ZHAN IS GONNA STAND FOR JUSTICE AND LIVE WITHOUT REGRET

Su She (ugh) shows up with Sweetie Pie (YAY) who is unconscious (oh no)

I am glad we are establishing GO GENTLE WITH SWEETIE PIE boundaries right off. This makes me feel better about just sitting in this temple watching people dig.

Like at this point? I feel like Lan Xichen is just maybe thinking they need couples counseling.

He's got like a thousand Ladies Home Journal "Can This Marriage Be Saved" articles clipped mentally

LWJ sitting there visibly BEAMING at bb taking up for him

WWX trolling Su She is LWJ's favorite sport

As long as he gets to referee

he doesn't even have access to his spiritual power

(it's just his protect wei ying power, activated)

honestly, I'm gonna go ahead and count this as finger guns because the ONLY reason Wei Wuxian isn't finger gunning like ALL the time is because he doesn't know about it.

Lan Wangji just sitting there, soaking in it, this pure WWX essence right here

I mean, honey, @faneunice can only handle so much please go easy on her

AND THEN

SOMEONE MAKES THE BEST ENTRANCE OF THE LAST 10 EPISODES

LWJ knows and he knows that JC knows and JC knows that LWJ knows and knows that he also knows and there is so much going on here and LWJ is still in that Protective Stance and meanwhile WWX is ON A DIFFERENT SHOW ENTIRELY

Jiang Cheng takes time to tell Jin Ling that he loves him.

I mean basically

Fairy shows up and just the long suffering way Lan Wangji does this move cured my arthritis

Fairy is the best dog in the world and chases Su She off screen and bless Fairy so very much

Meanwhile, WWX continues to just WWX all over the place

WWX is now a verb

Sorry stopped recapping because I've just been watching Jiang Cheng's entrance to 40 different soundtracks.

I think this is my favorite but it's like picking a favorite child

https://twitter.com/backtogusu_gifs/status/1269399630988574720?s=20

"It's Britney, bitch" feels so real right now

Some weird fight stuff happens that I actually can't focus on and also it's hard to cap action stuff but I promise I'll vid it.

Like, tonight

This little shit. The slow golf clap.

Jin Guangyao: "now don't you go falling in love with me"

THAT'S WHAT I SAID!!!!

validation is amazing honestly

"what?"

I mean, I don't think Jiang Cheng was gonna engage with him like that Lan Xichen but thanks for your advice

Shit, Dimples KNOWS THINGS

He could honestly fit right in with the Lannisters

Oh no

their attention is averted!

THEIR EMOTIONS ARE STIMULATED

Was Lan Xichen right? Is this the first time I will ever ask that question?

STIMULATED EMOTIONS: The Untamed Story

This is absolutely vicious and like I accept that Jin Guangyao figured this out just by a rumor and connecting almost 20 year old dots

I feel like I'm always saying "there is a lot going on here right now" but that is because there is always SO MUCH HAPPENING ALWAYS

THIS SHIT IS ALL THE FUCK OUT NOW

(LWJ is so sad)

So there is more fighting action and at one point JC swerves out of his way to protect WWX (and LWJ just as an incidental probably)

Wei Wuxian's face is... dude people care about you and like I'm sorry you will never believe it

JGY injures JC somehow (I mean granted he did a very verbal assault to throw him off his game so I get it)

Lan Xichen is like "I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE STIMULATED EMOTIONS AND YOU JUST THOUGHT IT WAS A SEX THING"

The fuck in supervillainy is happening here

SO MUCH

ok so like I know I said as a self care gesture I was not going to keep recapping every single moment of every single scene but I am also a notorious liar who abandons self care plans at the slightest whim and so get ready for A LOT OF SCREENCAPS because this needs to happen

WWX now knows that LWJ knows and that possibly everyone knows and he just never wanted anyone else to know but 2 people can keep a secret if one of them is dead and Wen Ning is UNdead so sorry about your luck

Meanwhile, JC is all "Oh, are we talking about this now?"

JC starts calling WWX out for his hero complex and LWJ STARES HIM DOWN it is kind of incredible but also wasted because JC is not looking at anything but his brother right now

GOD

I mean - not to say I have already seen this entire scene but I have already seen this entire scene and it *might* end with Jiang Cheng on his knees, with tears rolling down, saying "thank you"

WWX is just -this is exactly what he didn't want to happen and he would rather suffer and lie than have this conversation and I am also a conflict avoidant person but you take it too far WWX

WWX sacrificed for his brother knowing his brother would never accept the sacrifice

It's an issue of consent - JC can call out WWX heroing around with JC's life and choices and while it is way more complicated than that (JC's parents did a number on WWX and his sense of self separate from his siblings) - JC WAS NOT GIVEN A CHOICE

Also, as a younger sibling -- this dynamic is ringing super fucking true. Just. Down to the jealousy and inferiority of the younger and the body language and tone WWX uses here to reign it in

WHO DIED AND MADE YOU THE BOSS OF ME, WEI WUXIAN?

oh, actually that is in really poor taste but my point stands

The brothers are having it out and JC needs to say this and it's all very necessary but LWJ is gonna spend this entire conversation seething and attempting to murder JC with his eyes

oh bunny

LWJ, reminding JC he is here, and he will fuck his shit up if necessary but also - JC is the diametric opposite of LWJ and I just love any interaction they have and JC - LWJ team ups are also a thing I desperately need

Best In Law Hate Ever

I mean why is obvious but also is it? WWX never once second guessed his choice once made - despite the poor odds and the pain involved - his only real issue was how to create a convincing lie to get JC on board

JC has to reconcile not only that everyone, including his FATHER, preferred WWX to him and what part of this golden core transfer is just WWX being better than him in every way? I mean it's also an issue of consent but shit is MESSY as hell.

AND everyone loved WWX so much they basically died for him - well not Madam Yu - and not really anyone else except for Yanli. Yanli directly died for WWX and you know WWX hates it so much he killed himself and like - JC is "SO NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS" but also (continued)

(an aside) Jin Ling grabs at Jiang Cheng here and it's precious and I need 1800 stories about Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling right now, please and thank you

(continued) JC has spent 16 years turning his grief into anger and blaming Wei Wuxian and not to get all Brene Brown here but blame is the discharge of discomfort and pain and it is directly the opposite of accountability. I am very hopeful we can create some communication here

JC has a lot of resentment to work through and so I'm encouraging I feel statements and clarity - it all really boils down to "wei wuxian said he would never leave me and then he left me" and it's a primal wound for Jiang Cheng

LWJ's so petty right here inside of his head and I love it so much but also LWJ, honey, your bae is the one who came up with that line

JC has to reconcile "Wei Wuxian left me" with "Wei Wuxian sacrificed everything for me and had to leave me" with "I didn't want that - I never wanted that" with "Why didn't he ever tell me so we could figure it out"

It's impossible to effectively engage in assertive communication styles if you are met with passive communication

I know this technically aggressive style but this is also JC and this is probably as close as he can get

And there we have it -- it isn't just that you had no choice but to leave me - it's also you valued other people more than me

It is way more complicated and there is absolutely some cognitive dissonance here but again this is a primal wound they don't have to make sense

JC can't deal with the idea that WWX was able to just LEAVE him so easily

ALONE IN A WORLD THAT'S SO COLD

What is JC supposed to do with this??

and he could have told him - he could have told him something - he could have trusted him - he could have stayed with him - why can't he fix any of it???

GAH I AM NOT OKAY YOU GUYS

JC is so confused and is just letting it all out now and this is all really good stuff - let it out baby, just let it out

You are gonna feel so much worse directly after this but eventually this will be helpful

Wind Beneath My Wings but Angry

"Shouldn't I Hate You? Emotions and Other Incomprehensible Things" by Jiang Cheng

Jin Ling is like "Listen please don't kill my only family member that is not holding us hostage right now"

First of all: Lan Zhan, wow, burn
Second of all: Are you?
Third of All: LWJ is super ready to bring it any time and any place except Wei Ying won't let him

Wait - Lan Xichen has just been standing there this entire time?

Awkward

This is so pure and it is also devastating and if I was not a shattered soul spinning in the wind over all of this, I would feel this hurt, but as it is I just spin harder

Wei Wuxian, takes a deep breath, puts on his big brother pants and is ready to make this better, which is all Jiang Cheng wants

annnnd yeah

I mean true -- I can understand what he's saying here but also - JC just poured out his complete inner being in front of BOTH LAN BROTHERS and Yanli's awful son that I would die for

I am still actively devastated and if I was in charge of this family session I would possibly be having a conversation with WWX about passive aggression but also, I mean, this is progress. Of a sorts - honestly I'd let it sit and see where it goes - the quiet is a good sign

OMG YES AN ESSENTIAL TRUTH DISTILLATION

this is where the true hurt lies and I am so proud of my Fair Disney Prince right now

OMG ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND VALIDATION

You know what we call this?

I am continually proud of this outcome - this is growth

Narrator: Jiang Cheng was, in fact, the *most* delicate of them all

OH MY GOD I LOVE JIANG CHENG THE MOST
have I been waiting this entire series for this moment? Also, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE SORRY FOR except for being complicit to genocide even though you probably could have not made a difference at all
this show makes everything so complicated

On the one hand I think WWX is trying to distance Jiang Cheng from this and on the other I think maybe he is still trying to validate.

The one thing I know for sure is JC's face is causing me physical pain right now

I am just gonna sit here with this image and do some paced breathing exercises

Wei Wuxian is not a talker

Wei Wuxian is a doer

(who talks a lot but he can't help it he has ADHD)

It's like Big Brother Absolution but with a side of peace

I once was a human person who was functional and those were good times

Now I'm just a ghost because this has killed me too many times to revive.

God they know each other so well

I feel like it's time to slow this recap down even more and just - let us focus on this (true?) story of love and forgiveness and moving on -- Wei Wuxian is demostrating continued emotional growth and I support him

Wei Wuxian's first life was short, brutal and painful. He has to let go in order to live now and while that doesn't mean the trauma isn't there, he can't be trapped there by it anymore.

And he doesn't want Jiang Cheng trapped there either

MY FUCKING HEART STARTED BEATING AGAIN ONLY FOR THIS TO RIP IT TO SHREDS OMG I AM ONLY ONE PERSON

I am so proud of everyone in this bar but especially you my sweet sweet dum dum who might not be so dumb anymore

I never really understood what Luther Vandross was singing about until now. My love is *that* pure. Luther Vandross Pure.

This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen

Just hanging at the temple, like ya do

Oh Sweetie Pie, Jin Ling will fill you in later

Jin Guangyao gets poisoned or something and all the people he has digging are like... melting in a nice reminder that other things are happening besides emotional resolution for the Yunmeng Jiang.

Lan Xichen is conflicted which is honestly in his comfort zone

WHAT'S IN THE BOX???

oh no

Hey they both said "brother" right??? Did Netflix fuck up the subs??

Besides the absolute horror of the people who loved Hot Daddy the most being shattered in this cruel awful way

NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO COLUMBO, WWX

Speaking of which - the winner in the detective poll has been ANNOUNCED and it's BASIL squeaking by Jessica Fletcher in the end. WWX this is who you are

https://twitter.com/sisabet/status/1322362173981679616?s=20

ooh Sweetie Pie I support any hell you may wish to unleash
1. because it's Hot Daddy
2. because best believe I would fuck someone up over my siblings

I'm kinda like - Lan Xichen??Is this you?

I think this would make an intriguing painting

I hope the hunter out to get Dimples is Sweetie Pie because he deserves it and I love him and also the comments seem to be setting this up so if I'm right it isn't because I am some sort of predictive genius

But maybe Nie Huaisang is

Out of Context: The Untamed Edition

WWX might be at peace with his past life events but that doesn't mean the grief goes away -- he breaks my heart here

Are we getting into a broader discussion of class dynamics within the cultivation sects because!!! SHOW!! You are such a good show! Also, don't make me agree with Su She but on principle I agree with Su She

The concept of inner and outer disciples is icky

The outer disciples are there to serve as human shields and we have seen that demonstrated AMPLY in the previous 47 episodes

LWJ is still SO FUCKING MAD about that cave

WWX starts to do that laughing thing where he is actually crying and I HATE IT WHEN HE DOES THIS because it causes me to ache in previously callous parts of my heart

Like what was the point? I AM STILL NOT SURE??? I mean I know every one wants the amulet and power and whatever but it seems like they have it? I'm with WWX this is a lot of pain and very little payoff and shit this is just like life, nice escapist show I've found myself here

JGY is like listen I've looked at this every single way possible and I'm basically Batman except Evil so let me break this down

WWX was never gonna be left alone to farm the burial mounds with his commune - he was too powerful and people were too pissed off

Dimples has gone Full Dramatic Monologue and it's very, swivel-y

Jiang Cheng calls out Dimples' mama and honestly guys - stop doing this

Here he goes, stimulating emotions again.

I mean I guess while it was nice to let the Yunmeng boys have their family session earlier, it also served the purpose of making Jiang Cheng especially emotionally vulnerable

Well more emotionally vulnerable. Jiang Cheng is sort of the definition of emotionally vulnerable

And while WWX is not going to hold JC accountable for what happened to him, it doesn't mean that there is NO accountability and JGY twists that knife here

If JC accepts JGY is at fault, if WWX was completely innocent and a patsy of the system, then YOU ARE ALL COMPLICIT

Say what you want about JGY and I'm sure we will, but the man gives SUCH GOOD FACE

Is JC ever gonna sleep a full night, ever again?

JGY is 'Imma torture you with your love but also with the fact that your love wasn't enough when the chips were down because your fear was stronger' and these tactics are very much working

please link to this story where this happens and the show is a romcom with family feels

OH GOD THIS IS TOO MUCH STILL

I might need to adopt a puppy

Just twisting the knife, slowly

remind me to never get into a flame war with JGY because he will just destroy me in the comments

Everyone is just bringing it to this scene and serving it up on a platter but the real MVP's are JGY's coy "am I?" crouch and LWJ's Glare of Death at JC

No one gets off the hook on this show and I appreciate that

So now, WWX goes full Big Brother Mode, notes and then pushes JGY's button and stimulates some emotion in retaliation throwing JGY off his game and HONEY

You can get this in the middle of an emotional dump of the century but you can't figure out that LWJ likes you, likes you?

WWX whistles up some ghosts which is a sentence I could not have predicted would be something I would say a month ago but we all have made choices to get to this point, this is what we have learned here today

AND LAN XICHEN BABE I AM PROUD OF YOU OMG YOU DID IT

Su She makes a move and Jiang Cheng is SURPRISED and LWJ is NOT

I don't know if his spiritual power has also been recovered or if he is just powered by Protect Wei Ying but it works

Lan Xichen is like "I knew you did things but I never thought you would actually do things and I also thought you had better reasons and also I am blinded by the dick"

Ok so 1st - "should" is a cognitive distortion and Lan Xichen everyone in this temple has decided to be healthier than that

2nd - it could be the Netflix subs and LXC is not this sad of a sack bc I want someone with that amount of chin beauty to have a better sense of self

This child has pulled this whole drop to his knees bit at least 3 times so far on this show

It's also worked the previous 2 times so I see why he is relying on old standards

You can take the demonic cultivator out of Yunmeng Jiang but you can't take Yunmeng Jiang out of the demonic cultivator

...

again, though - this has worked before for him so go ahead and shoot your shot I guess

ok so like
A. I still fully believe Lan Xichen would be such a great 3rd grade teacher
and
2. The man is an absolute romantic disaster and I worry about him

Do you, Zewu Jun? Do you, really?

I mean, what was he just supposed to marry his sister and then not fuck her? COME ON LAN XICHEN!!!

Lan Xichen smacks JGY and then like is so upset with himself and I can't. Can someone just go ahead and escort him out of this temple there is nothing that is gonna happen here that he should be present for and he's already damaged for like life

Goddamn Lans

I'm just sort of tickled that the netflix subs use the word heck here.

It's like Church Camp Cursing

JGY and Su She some how controlled Wen Ning and killed Yanli's Okay Husband

Yanli's Terrible But I Would Die for Him son is UPSET

He has been blaming the wrong uncle his entire life - his uncle alignment is all outta whack

OH MY GOD IF SOMEONE DOES NOT HUG THIS CHILD RIGHT NOW I AM GONNA FLIP THIS ENTIRE SHOW

OH THANK GOD

Honestly, the only way to correct this uncle alignment issue is with an uncle rotation.

Fortunately, Jin Ling has no shortage and OF COURSE WWX is the hugging uncle

I know I'm supposed to be paying attention to the story but honestly I'm so excited to find a repeating action I'm already planning how to use it in a vid

He. Just. Keeps. Talking.

WE GET IT

WWX is like "hey the crazy laugh cry is MY move"

It's amazing how something that was so incredibly hot when it happened to WWX is just terribly upsetting when it happens to Yanli's Awful Son Who Is the Only Good Thing In This World

Ew

OH HONEY NO

no no no no no we are so past this now what did your daddy and uncle do to you Lan Xichen what did they do to your self esteem and sense of worth baby doll you need to love yourself more

this is absolutely painful and at this point we need to have either an intervention or maybe just a support group for Lan Xichen

Someone go make a banner that says "Family Love Lan Xichen"

TAKE A LOOK AT BANNER, LAN XICHEN

The World's Best Formerly A Baby But Now a Teen shows up and it's basically a family reunion now

Sweetie Pie is not yelling Mingjue here but Lan Xichen is saying Baxia

This is where I have arrived at Netflix subs wise.

No one knows what is happening - they all ask around & no one has a clue what is happening & then WWX is like huh that's not Hot Daddy that's Wen Ning & starts whistling but that doesn't stop him & the answer is ofc Wen Ning is possessed by a sentient sword. Tale as old as time

Things happen very fast but WWX grabs and moves Yanli's Terrible and Honestly Misunderstood He's a Total Sweetie son out of the way

My heart is so full

This is all I have ever wanted in my life

Did Lan Wangji just CHOP OFF JGY'S ARM???

is this like his new thing? 2 is a coincidence and 3 is a pattern so like we just need one more arm chop right?

Um. Did LWJ just chop off JGY's arm and is WWX totally, like completely, into it?

I mean, same, so no judgement

oh, yeah possessed wen ning is still there

The cultivation world's Beyoncé and Solange Knowles try to soothe the savage blade

Does not seem to work

WWX thinks fast and realizes that Jin Ling is coated in JGY's arm blood and so Baxia gets confused and attacks Jin Ling but Jin Ling is currently being protected by the Twin Heroes of Yunmeng so I feel like things are gonna be okay

The Knowles Brothers continue to play their little hearts out but Baxia is just not feeling it despite how much sparkle Lan Xichen puts into it

It's almost like I doubt Baxia's commitment to Sparkle Motion

Wen Ning is practically cutting off his own hand trying to control Baxia and we have established that Wen Ning, who of course is an abomination*, is also the best person who has ever existed

(*it's a joke pls don't flame)

Wen Ning is the best person on the show and I miss his sister

WWX realizes he's gonna need more juice to do anything about this situation but also checks in with bae before making a final decision because he's emotionally mature or some such nonsense now

AND THEN

Has this tragic prince been carrying Chenqing around this ENTIRE TIME??

If we check his robe we are gonna find that damned comb, aren't we? Jiang Cheng YOU WRECK ME BABY

LWJ is finally free to just appreciate the hott aesthetic here and I'm proud and happy for him. Be free sweetie!

I look forward to finishing this show and not experiencing all these sudden uncontrollable surges of emotions just because someone looks at another person like THAT but omg Jiang Cheng you have ruined me and all I can do is beg for mercy

and because we are in the second to last episode and all matter of delight's await us, we get Stygian Tiger Amulet POV and surprise surprise it's super into WWX

GET IN LINE AMULET

It's been so long since we have gotten this level of sexy resentful energy and I for one am grateful

Lan Wangji is also like DAMN because yeah

I feel awkward continuing thirst tweets this close to Hot Daddy's body so just know I appreciated the beauty but in a very somber and respectful way

Wei Wuxian assists Baxia in finding rest and Sizhui connects the dots? Like I want this reunion SO BAD

WWX does that spit blood thing and looks up because LWJ is supposed to at least be concerned and honestly there to catch him when he swoons but everyone is distracted IN THAT exact moment and I laughed so hard

The distraction is Sweetie Pie BLEEDING on the floor and obviously setting Su She up to take the fall and I have one thing to say about this:

I SUPPORT YOU MY SWEETIE PIE YOU DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO

The Ghost of Hot Daddy's blade also agrees with me and swiftly moves to terminate Su She and I feel like this is fine

Wei Wuxian is like "I just DID this" and it's like when you dream you woke up and got ready for work and you then wake up and realize you have to do all of that work all over again

This is what is happening for WWX

WWX lays Baxia beside Hot Daddy and then for some reason the amulet as well? I mean he seals the coffin so maybe it's just a convenient place to leave it? I just - not that I don't think Hot Daddy wouldn't wield it well but it just seems shortsided

Anyway, WWX seals it up and then does a little stumble back, I theorize, to check that LWJ is there and paying attention (this time)

He is

If I was on this show, I would be Nie Huaisang

GASP SWEETIE PIE

I love a man of hidden depths (and also revenge)

Did Nie Huaisang just get like super hot or is it just me?

OH GOD

OMG

At this point what else can happen to JGY? Like this is fatal right?

Shit we need to get a therapist for LXC

Savor this moment, Sweetie Pie

Game has to recognize game

In a rather metal move, JGY doubles down on twisting the knife LITERALLY by walking up LXC's sword, stimulating LXC with emotions

"Except for when I did you wrong, have I ever done you wrong" is a bold strategy here but also, damn that shit will totally work on LXC

I mean, like this is all very messed up

Jin Ling might puke

And then, JGY uses whatever energy he has in reserve which for a dude missing a limb and being stabbed all the way through on a sword he then walked up on, seems to be a lot, and goes and bleeds on Hot Daddy's coffin, thereby awakening SOME SHIT

This poor poor fool for love, this wreck of a man, this complete and utter trainwreck is gonna do it, isn't he?

JGY realizes he would do anything for love but he won't do that and does the chest bump of Bye Bye Bye

JGY then faces his ghosts (and is also most likely crushed)

This poor baby is just a baby

Wei Wuxian go hug him!

Shit's real bad Lan Xichen, but at least this composition would make an EXCELLENT album cover, that should cheer you up a little, huh?

I feel like when Sweetie Pie says he doesn't know, he actually knows a hell of a lot

Hot Daddy's Secret Weapon

OMG PLEASE GIVE JIN LING A FAMILY HE HAS HAD SUCH A BAD DAY AND HE IS SHORT AN UNCLE NOW

also just murder me with your soulful pain filled eyes, why don't ya, Jiang Cheng?

Jin Ling is like "everything is okay now right???"

The juniors all arrive (and Fairy!) and I'm pretty sure I hear Lan Qiren yelling at them to not run

I guess some family wounds aren't gonna be easy to heal

I love the way Jiang Cheng is having such emotions at WWX while WWX's fanbase frets over his wounds.

(these children are all precious)

Yanli's wonderful and incredible son and a Very Good Boy make good decisions

I need something to happen

Remember when Nie Huaisang was buddies with Meng Yao? Now he's just alone and his brother is still dead.

You amazingly handsome motherfucker just leaning against a tree trying to get your nephew to have an ounce of chill when you have no understanding of that concept? what are you even doing right now Jiang Cheng? Did you break?

Jin Ling and I are both "YES INVITE THEM TO STAY FOR DINNER IT IS A FUCKING START"

It is the only thing a man must know how to say! (actually didn't they get it from Wen Qing though? I miss her)

Jiang Cheng, where is it actually that everyone belongs? Has that even been settled?

Yanli's son is maybe the best person ever to exist in this entire universe and I agree with every single word he says

Oh

OH SHIT

omg I remember this oh no Jiang Cheng was there oh no

He didn't go to avenge his parents or anything like that - he was captured, tortured and lost his golden core to SAVE WEI WUXIAN

I AM DEVASTATED

Jiang Cheng you never once breathed a word of this and I love you so much and omg you tragic sad purple man someone please give him happiness it's all I want for him I AM IN PAIN

My Heart is Full and Other Side Effects of Watching The Untamed, by me

The something else LWJ has not yet told WWX about runs up after them

I think I'm as nervous as Lan Wangji right now

oh god this is the good stuff

PUT THIS DIRECTLY INTO MY VEIN

oh no this is breaking me again

omg I am just so compromised right now

OMG HE IS THE BEST BABY

These two proud papas have really got to tune this shit down

Lan Wangji: Delighted Motherfucker

Just. Wow.

Everyone is saying goodbye but I don't want summer camp to ever end

this might be the happiest WWX has been in decades

wait what is happening?

WHAT THE FUCK NO NO NO WHAT THE HELL IS THIS

"Because you had love in your hands, and you gave it up!"

THE FUCK IS THIS SAD ASS SHIT IN MY SUFFERING I DESERVE A FUCKING HAPPILY EVER AFTER THESE TWO HAVE SUFFERED A LOT GODDAMN IT

OMG IT WENT TO THE CLOUD RECESSES SCENE AND THE THEME SONG PLAYED AND I THOUGHT THE EP WAS OVER

They hang out by the waterfall and play their theme song which as we all know represents them banging and I feel better about things

LWJ has accepted a job and like it seems like WWX doesn't want to be a house husband? Idk but LWJ makes a joke so maybe things aren't terrible

I love Sweetie Pie and also respect him

THESE ARE THE DUMBEST BOYS IN THE WORLD

why do you want me to be in active pain what is this why??? WEI WUXIAN THIS IS TOO MUCH OPEN ENDS FOR ME TO DEAL WITH

SO FUCKING DUMB

I mean yes I am glad you caught on to the fact that YOU HAVE TO MEET AGAIN but I have just been through 50 episodes of sheer hell and WHAT ABOUT ME???

WHY IS HE NOT RUNNING AFTER HIM

I FUCKING HATE THIS ENDING

oh god LWJ stopped and heard their theme song and like HAS A NAME FOR IT and I was relieved and then he just kept fucking walking

Yeah I guess this is grand and majestic but what the fuck guys this is not what I wanted at all I really hate it so much

OH MY GOD

WHAT IS HAPPENING????

OH MY GOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Thank you guys so much for being with me through this journey and I am just... this has been crazy.

Also, I am sorry in advance because this is the kinda content I'm gonna bring to your fandom

https://twitter.com/sisabet/status/1323866132353290240?s=20