1. Hello and welcome! It’s episode 316 of #MrMrsBetterHalf. Mr & Mrs Better Half is designed to strengthen marriages & relationships that will lead to marriage, with wisdom from God's Word. 
2. Last week, we treated the topic: “Make me your priority”. Missed it? Get it here: bit.ly/2RURHa5 #MrMrsBetterHalf
3. This week, we will be discussing, “5 Reasons Why relationships fail”. We’ll be discussing this over 2 episodes and we will deal with the first 2 reasons today. #MrMrsBetterHalf
4. We live in a culture where many are experiencing lack of marital fulfillment and relationships are constantly failing. #MrMrsBetterHalf
5. So, it is important we take some time out and identify the reasons relationship fail, why people are disgruntled in their relationships and how to do better. #MrMrsBetterHalf
6. The first reason I’m going to deal with is (A). The inability to love and be loved. As humans, we’re created as love beings. We are meant for community, not isolation - be it family, friendships or romantic relationships. #MrMrsBetterHalf
7. To function properly in relationships with others, we need to have love and a good sense of who we are and what value we bring. #MrMrsBetterHalf
8. How do you see yourself? As a valuable person or as trash? If you don’t think you’re valuable, you will make it difficult for the person you’re with to value you. You can’t get self-esteem from a boyfriend, girlfriend or even a spouse. #MrMrsBetterHalf
9. In relationships, you should build each other up – this is not the job of only one person. And you can’t give what you don’t have. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love someone else. #MrMrsBetterHalf
10. And you won’t be able to identify love from others. Loving yourself means appreciating, accepting and forgiving yourself. If you don’t do these for yourself you make it difficult for your partner to do same. #MrMrsBetterHalf
11. Some people are afraid to love and be vulnerable because they don’t want their partners to take advantage of them. That’s no way to live. #MrMrsBetterHalf
12. For relationships to work, love must be freely given and freely received. Unconditional love is the best environment for a successful relationship. #MrMrsBetterHalf
13. Without a commitment to true love, relationships are doomed to fail. Even if you don’t break up or divorce, the relationship will either be toxic or bland and neither of those is what God intended for you. #MrMrsBetterHalf
14. We lose ourselves when we are dependent on others for our happiness. People will complement us but they cannot bear the sole responsibility of filling us up. #MrMrsBetterHalf
15. Take responsibility for yourself. Don’t make your partner the only source of your happiness. Ask yourself, do you have the capacity to receive and give love? Are you just a taker or also a giver? See yourself as a love being. #MrMrsBetterHalf
16. The second reason relationships fail is B.) Infidelity. This is not a strange word. Infidelity is when a person refuses to be trustworthy in a relationship. #MrMrsBetterHalf
17. Are you a HOT person? By HOT, I mean Honest, Open, Transparent. Everybody wants to date or marry somebody that can be trusted. Trust and fidelity are at the foundation of a healthy relationship. #MrMrsBetterHalf
18. If you want to have a healthy relationship that will last forever until death separates both of you, then it must be based on trust and honesty. #MrMrsBetterHalf
19. Relationships fail woefully when there is no fidelity. One of the things that lead to lack of fidelity is when intimate or emotional needs are not met. #MrMrsBetterHalf
20. The big question is - how do you structure a relationship to meet the intimate needs of your spouse? Proverbs 5:15. “Drink water from your own well.” Water there speaks to how we refresh or renew ourselves. #MrMrsBetterHalf
21. How do I want to renew myself emotionally or sexually? When I’m in a marital relationship, my spouse is my number one filling station. S/he is supposed to refresh and renew me and restore me emotionally and sexually. #MrMrsBetterHalf
22. So, don’t go about the place dissipating yourself, that’s not acceptable in a marital relationship. #MrMrsBetterHalf
23. If as a single person, you’ve been sexually active and you’re now celibate. If you get into a relationship and your partner either doesn’t want to be celibate or is seeking your permission to find sexual gratification elsewhere, run! #MrMrsBetterHalf
24. Here’s the truth, not being sexually active will not kill anybody. It is a matter of self-control. And whoever cannot control himself or herself emotionally outside of marriage will not gain emotional control in marriage. #MrMrsBetterHalf
25. Marriage does not confer emotional control on you. Marriage amplifies what it meets on ground. If you have been used to ‘anything goes’, large appetite for sex, marriage only amplifies it. #MrMrsBetterHalf
26. If you want your marriage to last, or your dating relationship to lead to marriage without it being truncated by unwholesome emotions, keep it celibate, practice self-control. #MrMrsBetterHalf
27. Prove to each other that after we’ve gotten married, if I have to work in London and you’re in New York, and we won’t see each other for 2 months, I’m going to keep to myself. #MrMrsBetterHalf
28. How else can you prove it to me than for both of us to agree on it right now and be able to work it out. You may not even be bound by religious rules. You don’t have to be a Christian to practice celibacy. It is a matter of emotional control. #MrMrsBetterHalf
29. Power without control is dangerous. There’s a burden of freedom, and all of us as adults want to be free to do whatever we want but the burden of freedom is responsibility. #MrMrsBetterHalf
30. Your ability to build self-control makes you trust-worthy. If you are married and you are reading this, you cannot use the lack of your emotional needs being met within a marriage as a sole excuse for infidelity. #MrMrsBetterHalf
31. It’s better you speak out and talk to a counselor urgently. Don’t suffer in silence. Lack of emotional fulfillment or sexual satisfaction can ruin a marriage. #MrMrsBetterHalf
32. Singles, you can be romantic without being sexual. Stay in control. Lastly, if you get into marriage without dealing with your personal weaknesses; #MrMrsBetterHalf
33. Be it lust, pornography, or lack of sexual control, it is going to be magnified in marriage, and that might be the ruin. Heal before you deal, and your marriage will last the test of time. #MrMrsBetterHalf
34. I hope this has been helpful to you. I will be back next week to continue with this topic. Until then, thanks for following, participating and re-tweeting. May your marriages and relationships be sweet! #MrMrsBetterHalf
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