She sat on the balcony, reading a novel. She just finished her first year on campus and was home on vacation. She was eighteen, living with her parents in a block of flats.
She looked down and saw the scene.
Again.
Her neighbors were going out...
The man opened the door for the wife to enter the vehicle.
She always sat at the back, in the “owner’s corner”, carrying their 6 month old son.
The husband slid into the driver’s seat and drove off.
This scene played out at least twice every week, and it always upset her!
That woman must be a witch! I wonder how she jazzed her husband to turn him into her driver. Wicked Jezebel! Poor man.
She would imagine ways she could help the husband exert his authority and break the evil spell the wife had cast on him…
A decade later, she got married and had a daughter.
Soon, she needed to take her daughter to the hospital for immunization.
Her husband opened the rear door or her to sit with the baby.
He got behind the wheel and drove off.
Half way to the hospital, she started laughing!
She laughed so hard, tears streamed down her eyes. Her husband parked the vehicle. “Babe, what is the matter? Are you alright?” She managed to pause and said, “Naaa- I’m ok, I just remembered something that happened over a decade ago and it reminded me of my foolishness!
Her perception of the incident had changed. As a teenager, the woman who sat in the back seat was a witch. Ten years later, she got wiser.
PERCEPTION.
He sat in the train, deep in tought. His 2 boys were running up and down the coach, shouting, laughing and generally causing a nuisance for other commuters who were trying to read or have a quiet moment. He seemed to be oblivious of the noise his sons were making.
The other commuters got very upset. One said, “Sir! Could you please quieten your boys? Can’t you see they’re a nuisance to everybody?” The man didn’t respond. He was in a world of his own. Another commuter tapped his hand angrily: “Hey, dude! Handle these boys, please!
They’re making too much noise!”
The man just broke down and started weeping! “Sorry, please! We’re just coming from the hospital. My wife, their mum just passed away. They’re still unaware. I am just thinking how to tell them, how I will cope as a single parent…”
Immediately, the anger in that train coach disappeared!
Sympathy took over!
“Sorry, sir! That’s very unfortunate!”
The eyes that saw those 2 boys running around as pests started seeing them differently...
The minds that were angry at those 2 boys a minute ago for the noise they were making started feeling pity for them.
All because they got an INFORMATION they didn’t have before.
PERCEPTION.
My late father used to say, “Whatever issue you meet, do not be quick to pass judgement. Always have it at the back of your mind that WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW IS ALWAYS MORE THAN WHAT YOU KNOW.”
Jesus gave a parable in Matthew 13:44:
A man saw some treasure in a field.
He went to sell all he owned to raise money to buy the field.
Imagine for a moment how those who saw him selling off his possessions (probably at giveaway prices) would've been wondering what he was up to.
They would've thought he was mad.
Let's see what he is up to…
He sold his car, clothes, shoes, furniture, and electronics. He raised about 5 million naira and he went to buy a plot of land in the outskirts of Zungeru or Kaura Namoda!
They would believe he had been bewitched!
Somebody must have jazzed him, they would say.
But when they realize he knew there was treasure worth a billion on the property, it would dawn on them they judged him wrongly. Now they realize he's not as mad as they had imagined! He's actually very smart!
How often do we perceive things wrongly, without knowing it? We all have different opinions about issues.
Our perception is basically a function of our age, understanding, wisdom, exposure, temperament, conditioning and upbringing.
Even our understanding of Scriptures is based on all these.
I have met people who say, “the Bible says a woman should not wear trousers!” or, “the Bible says money is the root of all evil!”
It’s not the Bible saying anything: it’s their exposure, understanding and conditioning...
That’s why a Nigerian Christian will not wear trousers in Nigeria, but will start wearing when she relocates to Canada.
When I see anyone holding a strong opinion on any issue, rather than condemn him/her, I simply try to see why he/she holds that opinion...
What is the reason behind it?
Nobody is born with any bias, prejudice or stupidity: they're learned.
The only difference is, some are broadminded enough to jettison these biases as they grow older, while others refuse to- despite seeing that the world has grown beyond them...
Let's stop judging others when you have only 5% information about them.
That opinion we have about people or issues will almost always change when the information we have on it increases to 100%.
Truth be told, we're not half as important or as intelligent as we think...
What we don’t know is more than what you actually know.
Developing strong opinions or hypotheses based solely on what we know is not very intelligent.
In fact, it's actually very DUMB.
Don't hold opinions or argue on things you don't have full information about...
It will not portray you in good light.
PERCEPTION.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, an American Philosopher went to a party with one of his proteges. As he mixed with his friends and colleagues, the protege asked, "sir- I can see some of my agemates in that corner. May I go join them?"
"No, son. Stay here with me", Ralph replied.
"But why, sir?" protege asked.
Ralph responded with a wry smile, "It's better for them to wonder why you didn't come to join them than for them to wonder why you did."
We can be smarter, we can do better!
Shalom.
Haruna Daniels
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In the last few years, there's been a constant trend in the Country:
Young folks are ANGRY & they ALWAYS look for a way to vent their ANGER.
In the recent past, we had the #EndSars Protests.
Then we had #RevolutionNow.
We also had #BuhariMustGo.
Then #AllEyesOnTheJudiciary...
We also had #JusticeForMobad.
Now, it's #FreeDeleFarotimi...
Truth be told there things are not new: we also had #AliMustGo in 1978.
Dr Tai Solarin led the SAP Protest in 1989 when it was rumoured that Babangida's wife was cited as the richest black women by Ebony Magazine...
My point is, young folks have been restless in Nigeria from time immemorial.
And the reason is simple: YOUNG NIGERIANS DON'T TRUST THEIR GOVERNMENT.
They believe those in Government are NOT looking out for them, they're just in Office to feather their own nests, nothing else...
Some years ago, a friend called me from Lagos.
"Harry, I'll be coming to Abuja for a project I will be supervising (he's a Building Engineer). I'll be around for about 6 months. Can I stay with you, please?"
I was living alone in a 3 bedroom flat, it wasn't a problem for me...
So I agreed.
He came over a few days later & I gave him a room to stay.
He'd leave the house early in the morning to the site & return around 8pm.
After a month, he told me his wife would want to come over for a weekend.
Is it ok?
No problem, Bro: she's welcome to visit you...
She flew over on a Friday to return to Lagos Monday morning.
I had never met her before, so the husband introduced us when she landed.
She took over the kitchen & made us dinner that Friday evening.
She dished my meal in a plate & dished hers & her husband's together.
This reminds me of a situation some years ago.
After Service, some folks wanted to see the Pastor for counselling.
He then asked a few of them to see me so the load on him would reduce.
So, I became an "Emergency Counsellor" that Sunday morning.
When he was done, I told him: "your problem is not a big deal, Sir. I'll give you a simple solution..."
He sat up, eager to hear the solution.
I told him, "Go read the Book of Galatians & let's talk on Wednesday!"
He was MIFFED!
"The WHOLE Book?"
"Yes, Sir (the Book of Galatians is just 6 Chapters)."
"Ha! Can't you just PRAY for me?"
"No, Sir. It's not a PRAYER problem: it's a KNOWLEDGE problem..."
He got up & walked away to join the queue of those to see the Pastor.
And one Saturday morning, he tells you, "Babe, I want to go watch Arsenal play Chelsea by 4pm in my friend's house".
What will you do?
She replied, "I will be VERY ANGRY with him!"
I asked why.
Why should ANGER be an option?
He just voiced a desire: why should that bring ANGER?
She said, "I wouldn't want him to go: I'll want him to stay home and we enjoy each others company!"
Fine.
So, rather than get ANGRY, why don't you voice your own desire too?
Why not say, "Babe, please don't go: stay home with me!"
"Imagine all Nigerians relocate to the US & all Americans relocate to Nigeria... What do you think will happen in 10 years?"
Rev'd Sam Adeyemi @sam_adeyemi asked this rhetorical question in Church, @DaystarNG over 20 years ago.
There were several responses to the question...
And all agree on ONE thing:
In 10 years, Nigeria would have become a much better place where things work, America would have become a worse place where things don't work anymore.
Rev'd Sam then said: "that tells you that THE MAN MAKES THE PLACE, THE PLACE DOESN'T MAKE THE MAN!"
He went on to explain:
Your EXTERNAL atmosphere will ALWAYS be at the level of your INTERNAL atmosphere.
You will ALWAYS raise or reduce your EXTERNAL atmosphere to the level of your INTERNAL atmosphere.
To BETTER or DESTROY your environment depends on your INTERNAL ATMOSPHERE!
Social Media is a funny place.
It exposes the GULLIBILITY of the average Nigerian.
Anyone could invent a story, post it on Social Media & people would simply BELIEVE it!
No EVIDENCE.
No PROOF.
NO DATA!
Just mere WORDS.
And people (who you'd deem INTELLIGENT) would BELIEVE...
I remember when I was in the University, a classmate had a knack for telling us stories about happenings in the AFRC (Armed Forces Ruling Council, for the younger generation) Meetings.
He'd tell us, "As Babangida enter the Meeting, Abacha ask am, "Where you go yesterday?"...
Aikhomu con vex, ask Abacha why he no greet am fes? "Babangida no be your mate ooo! Na your Oga, you suppose respect am!"
Na dat day Abacha decide say he go do coup, comot Babangida!"
When he told us these tales, we'd bombard him with QUESTIONS!
"How you KNOW? You dey there?!"