Elijah Profile picture
Sep 27, 2020 12 tweets 2 min read Read on X
The last two weeks I encountered two church services which frustrated and hurt me as an LGBTQ+/SSA person. I'd like to share the experiences, because they might be blind spots in your own churches. (These are two different churches, tough luck on my part, I know)
Last week after all the messiness I went to church hoping to hear from God. Instead I was met with a portion of the service being a drama that attempted to coincide with the sermon. Dramas *can* be good. But they can also convey extra things which aren't very good...
They were portraying different misconceptions surrounding God. One misconception was "all love, no truth". The person playing God acted as San Francisco gay as possible, and it was meant to be funny. This incorrect God character was clearly gay and the congregation laughed...
whenever a "gay" mannerism happened. It felt like we were laughing at the "gay minstrel" on stage. It made me deeply uncomfortable because of the negative connotations and the community reinforcement. I felt hurt and pushed out, regardless of whether some people in the church...
did not feel that way. Please be careful with the subtext of what is being conveyed. You may be sending messages you don't want to.

Today was the second week, I thought it would be good because it also had connections with the Seminary :/
I got to service and we were talking about imitating Christ. After some quick comments about the UMC church and homosexuality (that made me feel weird) early in the sermon, he began to preach. Somehow the pastor fit in an entire aside about "transsexuals"...
which seemed to indicate that they were simply peer pressured into their gender dysphoria. He said that he didn't want to get into the issue, just draw an image though and quickly moved on.

This frustrated me because gender dysphoria is a complicated and huge conversation...
If there was a congregant who didn't know anything about Trans/Dysphoria stuff, they would assume dysphoria was completely fabricated and wholly from peer pressure. It also would indicate that the pastor thought fairly low about those people. It just wasn't appropriate for a...
quick sermon illustration because It only made the issue of gender identity confusing while also slipping in subtle worldview perspectives without "getting into it"

This isn't worse than one of my past pastors talking about deceived and confused men who want to be woman
while he fully knew a trans teen was sitting in the congregation (don't get me started), but it was still unhelpful (and would have been hurtful to any person experiencing dysphoria in that congregation)...
Altogether, be careful about your quick quips, asides, extras, and dramas.

ESPECIALLY if you are tempted to make those asides about complicated topics that should not be condensed into small moments.

sorry this thread was so long
Wait no, sorry, I am adding to this.

I "agreed" with the theology regarding sexuality of both churches. They still managed to hurt me.
This is not an issue of theology. This is an issue of kindness.

(Though I think I would disagree on the nature of gender dysphoria on the 2nd)

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More from @Personhoodlives

Jul 16, 2023
Celibate people exist in the age of the commercialization of friendships.

Selfless love is stigmatized, and relationships are only worth "investing" in when you expect to always receive back what you're putting into it. Everything is transactional. This does not favor longevity.
We are alienated from our local communities. Dropping relationships when you don't think you're receiving what you want at the moment is the most popular option. We want solo spaces, fences, no expectations.

We like to think in terms of being "taken advantage of"
Married people sequester themselves away into tiny cloisters that only other married people get access to, and only the nuclear family has any stability.

Single people move around through serialized relationships and constancy seems rare.
Read 8 tweets
Feb 11, 2023
Tonight I’ve been at the Asbury University revival going on 4 days. Yesterday I wrote a prayer request for queer students on campus that I returned to see erased. This troubled my soul because it felt emblematic of the way that queer people have their stories erased at Church.
I was at the altar praying over someone I felt called to and a man approached me & asked what he could pray for. He felt called by the Spirit to make the drive here from out of town at 10pm. I didn’t know what to share at first but I finally relented and shared what had happened
We spoke for a long time. And he called me out of my parched season and into God’s work in my life. He spoke to shame and to my status with God. He felt the groans of pain from the awkward middle place sexual and gender minority Christians feel in the world.
Read 7 tweets
Jun 13, 2021
Pulling together some basic thoughts on how to best be a “Side-B Ally”, or someone who affirms their traditional sexual ethic and wants to best love LGBTQ Christian siblings (and also LGBTQ people in general

Rough thread:
1. Recognize that processing and coming to theological conclusion is an extremely excruciating process for sexual minorities. Give them space to process it with God and walk with them as they need it. It’s more complicated than you think it is.
2. Don’t fight us on our identity language. We need to be able to talk about ourselves, our experiences, and the group of people who also experience these things. We aren’t slipping away from Jesus by using gay
Read 31 tweets
Oct 1, 2020
Our President @TimTennent is speaking on marriage today.

He is the very first person in my entire life to acknowledge single/celibate people during a marriage sermon, while assuring us that he will be preaching on celibacy in a coming sermon.
I don’t think I’ve ever been seen like that by a pastor before (besides Revoice, of course)

Everyone else is bemused because since when did we care what celibate people think of our marriage sermons?
If you’re reading this @TimTennent, the Mother’s Day reference simplified a complicated situation. Mother’s Day IS unavoidably hurtful to some for a plethora of reasons. It’s also not a Christian holiday, and we aren’t required to celebrate it the way our culture does
Read 4 tweets
Oct 1, 2020
I think it’s helpful to realize that every human has a broken sexuality.

People attracted to the opposite sex are just as broken as people attracted to the same sex.

You are not more “broken” because of your attractions. You are broken because of the fall.
EVERYONE is waiting for the coming resurrection of the dead where we will be made whole.
Using language that suggests people who don’t experience normative sexual attractions (asexuality, SSA, etc.) are more broken only serves to fuel shame in people who will likely experience those attractions their entire lives.

It’s violence against them.
Read 7 tweets
Sep 20, 2020
I thought I was stronger than this. But I’m not. I need some prayer.

Honestly, coming to a seminary, I did not expect to encounter the flippant homophobia that I have.

No one warned me that I would feel most separate in the place I expected to feel most at home.
I feel like I’ve experienced more gay jokes than I did throughout all of college.

I thought I might arrive to an oasis of Christians who had critically assessed their prejudices and grown beyond them.

Instead I’m operating in a space where it feels like I’m an issue again
I promised that I wouldn’t go back into the closet, and I think many first-years I’ve encountered know by now. But that hasn’t stopped the onslaught of hurt.

I’m so frustrated because this is supposed to be where the future of the church is formed.

I’m hurting a lot tonight.
Read 4 tweets

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