Celibate people exist in the age of the commercialization of friendships.

Selfless love is stigmatized, and relationships are only worth "investing" in when you expect to always receive back what you're putting into it. Everything is transactional. This does not favor longevity. We are alienated from our local communities. Dropping relationships when you don't think you're receiving what you want at the moment is the most popular option. We want solo spaces, fences, no expectations.

We like to think in terms of being "taken advantage of"

Tonight I’ve been at the Asbury University revival going on 4 days. Yesterday I wrote a prayer request for queer students on campus that I returned to see erased. This troubled my soul because it felt emblematic of the way that queer people have their stories erased at Church. I was at the altar praying over someone I felt called to and a man approached me & asked what he could pray for. He felt called by the Spirit to make the drive here from out of town at 10pm. I didn’t know what to share at first but I finally relented and shared what had happened

Pulling together some basic thoughts on how to best be a “Side-B Ally”, or someone who affirms their traditional sexual ethic and wants to best love LGBTQ Christian siblings (and also LGBTQ people in general

Rough thread: 1. Recognize that processing and coming to theological conclusion is an extremely excruciating process for sexual minorities. Give them space to process it with God and walk with them as they need it. It’s more complicated than you think it is.

Our President @TimTennent is speaking on marriage today.

He is the very first person in my entire life to acknowledge single/celibate people during a marriage sermon, while assuring us that he will be preaching on celibacy in a coming sermon. I don’t think I’ve ever been seen like that by a pastor before (besides Revoice, of course)

Everyone else is bemused because since when did we care what celibate people think of our marriage sermons?

I think it’s helpful to realize that every human has a broken sexuality.

People attracted to the opposite sex are just as broken as people attracted to the same sex.

You are not more “broken” because of your attractions. You are broken because of the fall. EVERYONE is waiting for the coming resurrection of the dead where we will be made whole.

The last two weeks I encountered two church services which frustrated and hurt me as an LGBTQ+/SSA person. I'd like to share the experiences, because they might be blind spots in your own churches. (These are two different churches, tough luck on my part, I know) Last week after all the messiness I went to church hoping to hear from God. Instead I was met with a portion of the service being a drama that attempted to coincide with the sermon. Dramas *can* be good. But they can also convey extra things which aren't very good...

I thought I was stronger than this. But I’m not. I need some prayer.

Honestly, coming to a seminary, I did not expect to encounter the flippant homophobia that I have.

No one warned me that I would feel most separate in the place I expected to feel most at home. I feel like I’ve experienced more gay jokes than I did throughout all of college.

I thought I might arrive to an oasis of Christians who had critically assessed their prejudices and grown beyond them.

Instead I’m operating in a space where it feels like I’m an issue again

I was perusing the sermon schedule for my seminary’s chapel and I saw chapel on marriage and then on children. At first I kind of sighed and worried that it would just be my same old experience, but then I continued reading.

The third sermon in that series was on— singleness and celibacy. I felt kind of shocked at first, though I should not have been.

I’m excited to experience a Christian community that elevates and acknowledges the validity/importance of singleness and celibacy.

Hey- it can be devastating when you out someone’s sexuality without their permission. I don’t care if they are your partner, spouse, or anything else, it still wounds.

If they took you privately aside to share this piece of themselves to you, then keep it private...(1/5) Many people who are in the closet struggle with anxiety related to feeling out of control. I didn’t get to choose my sexuality, or how people would react to me, or feeling other than, but I did get to choose how to share my story. (2/5)

I realize that some of my new followers are unfamiliar and uncomfortable with the use of sexual identity language (gay, queer, etc.) when it comes to descriptors.

There’s plenty written about it online and I could send you resources (I’ve also tweeted about it b4, but I...(1/6) I want to provide a little info on what I’m doing.

When I use “gay” I’m describing a phenomenological reality (how things are) rather than a teleological one (how things should be)

I experience same sex attraction, but my telos (goal) is not in same sex sexual expression (2/6)

If you’re new to #Revoice20 you might see the memes of Burwell Stark’s infamous phrase, “I am grieved almost beyond words” uttered jokingly from various attendees.

If you don’t know why because you’re new to Revoice, then buckle in babes, because I’ve got a story to tell: So let me set the scene. Two years ago #Revoice was happening for the first time. Critics and detractors were NOT hard to come by (still aren’t). This is a conference that caters towards Christian traditions that hold to the Hist. Sexual ethic while also being willing/able to...

With #Revoice20 coming up tonight, I will be sharing this account more publicly with people I know in person. As a result I’ll be deleting this and a few other more personal threads for privacy reasons. I guess this is just a quick update if you wanted to interact with anything

https://twitter.com/Personhoodlives/status/1269479669520367616

It pains me to do so since this thread sparked a lot of good discussion, but it’s for the best.

You should know that many same-sex attracted/gay Christians are often afraid to mention and heal from any child sexual abuse (CSA) they have encountered because of the narrative that abuse creates homosexuality.

This harmful narrative keeps people from vulnerability For me, it was hard to admit that I started struggling from m*sturbation at a young age because of the narrative that gay people became gay because of their wickedness, I lived in shame thinking my own unknowing sin made me gay, even though many of my straight peers also...

Our culture continues to believe more and more that sexual expression is a bodily function necessary for survival.

Porn has become a need rather than a predilection.
Not having sexual expression is weird/unhealthy if you're not asexual. We praise the quest for sex of people who don't normally get it.
We think that sex work is necessary for a functioning society.
When the sex doesn't work anymore it is grounds to quit a relationship.
Youth group kids don't want Jesus to come back until they have had sex.

With all due respect, I’m glad she’s not my mother. Imagine reading this as her child, afraid and ashamed of your attractions.

She doesn’t mean she’s worried the world will give them hell. She’s worried they’ll go to hell. Certainly, being gay means a tough path is ahead. But if you are approaching parenthood, consider familiarizing yourself with the blessings and good things that can come from and towards sexual minorities.

Don’t be devastated, please, for the sake of your child.

I'm nervous about attending seminary this fall. More than the general anxiousness that everyone gets when leaving their community behind to study in some far off place, I also have to agonize over whether I will find supportive people at this conservative place. I am, of course, conservative in my theology too, but my experience with conservative spaces is homophobia and being an outsider. I'm worried that I am leaving the safety and edification of my current community to trade it for isolation and hurt all over again.

I have a deep anxiety that my singleness will always look like knocking on the door to be let in rather than being invited first.

From those I know, single people have to constantly (and loudly) vie for attention or else they are quickly forgotten. A single person I spoke to for advice today told me that it doesn’t get easier, you just get better at managing the hurt.

This is so scary to me as a young person. Is being single really going to mean I’m always on the outside looking in?

I did not expect the outpouring of love and dialogue generated from my thread. Thank you everyone.

For new followers, I tweet about being a celibate same-sex attracted/gay Christian.

This means I focus on singleness, community, sexuality, Jesus, and ecumenicism I affirm the traditional sexual ethic (sexual expression is for the marriage relationship between a man and a woman) but find great freedom in Christ.

If you don’t agree with me theologically I hope we can still dialogue and grow together.

I’m celibate and some weddings are very hard...especially today.

(A Thread) it’s really hard to hear your best friend tell his new spouse that she’s his best friend in his vows.

He is the closest person in my life. But I am not his. In this way I realize I will never be mutually closest with anyone.

I mourn that.

After coming out you get this renewed sense of vigor to defend both sexual minorities and proper theology. It’s like, they know I’m ssa/gay so they’ll listen now! Right?

(Super short thread) Burnout comes fast after this, I’m learning. I’m engaging far more now because I feel a certain obligation being out and all.

but instead of people changing their minds, I feel like I’m encountering more rejection.

There is a movement in the church to finally argue that singleness is good and okay, but then they leave us there. I already have to be single. I don’t have the luxury of arguing whether or not it’s a good vocation. But what am I to do with my singleness?? In conversations surrounding singleness there is so much framing it around marriage. Phrases like “marriage is hard too” “married people feel lonely sometimes too” aren’t helping me figure out what to do with singleness.