Every year I make a huge sculpted cake for a shared bday for me and my fiancé. This year, there's no point, because who's gonna come eat a huge cake in a pandemic?

So plan B is a pain-in-the-ass cake that's smaller.

Everyone please meet the (A Night At The) Opera Cake Opera cake with layers of almond joconde, French coffee butt
Opera cake is a Very French Cake that is rarely around because it's a hassle. It's alternating thin layers of coffee-syrup-soaked almond joconde sponge, French coffee buttercream, and chocolate ganache/glaze. Traditionally it has the word Opera written on it in chocolate cursive
When you bake the sponge it looks really sad. It's thin and pale, but that's how it's SUPPOSED to look. This sucker wants you to beat whole eggs and egg whites in 2 different bowls and if you only have 1 bowl that works with your mixer it's super fun.
This is coffee syrup. Officially it's supposed to be coffee liqueur syrup but fuck that it's my birthday and I hate the flavor so it's just straight-up equal volumes of strong coffee and sugar, reduced.
Chocolate work is my nemesis. This is attempt 2 at the chocolate glaze, and while it came out an actual liquid (we don't speak of attempt 1, ESPECIALLY that someone in this house still ate some of it) it still ended up a bit grainy. But too bad, attempt 3 wasn't gonna happen chocolate chips and butter in double boiler, with spatula in
I have no pics of the French coffee buttercream process bc everything had to be monitored at all times. French buttercream means boil sugar to soft ball stage, then slowly drizzle it into your mixer with whipped yolks. But don't let it touch the beater. Or bowl. Or you.
Pretty much if the beaters are going (which they're supposed to), it's GONNA touch the beaters. Or the bowl. Fuck you, it's French.

But honestly it's the only part of this whole recipe I'd make again. Pain in the ass, but actually worth the amount of effort!
Here is the saddest rectangle of thin almond joconde. It's supposed to be this sad and thin. But good news, it gets the syrup and other fillings stacked on.

It looks like a mess bc it totally is. But that's ok, because...
After the whole thing firms up in the fridge, you slice off the sides to make them look clean and reveal the layers. And by "clean" I mean "definitely didn't crack the chocolate glaze in the process or anything"
Did I mention chocolate work is my nemesis? After all that I didn't have it in me to try to temper chocolate to pipe the word Opera. But fiancé's idea to make it a night at the opera stuck.

Stencil attempt 2 w powdered sugar, and the final cake!
I have learned that the price for overdoing it with a fancy cake, on a hot day after insufficient sleep, is a migraine. Bah.

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More from @effies

Nov 30, 2020
Telling a sick or disabled person "oh but you don't look sick" is actually really crappy and hurtful, even if you mean it as a compliment.

Let's talk about the reasons why.

1/
First of all, some background. Not every illness or disability is visible.

Some flare intermittently, some are never visible. Sometimes people are in incredible pain but don't show it because they're used to it, or just don't want to talk about it with you.

Lots of options.

2/
Autoimmune disorders, autonomic nerve disorders, digestive disorders... tons of conditions are only visible on the inside. And not everyone's going to show you the proof, because more often than not it's none of your business.

3/
Read 10 tweets
Sep 25, 2020
Are you having a day full of grumps? Time for some Very Lorge Bears

Time to intro the contestants in this year's #FatBearWeek
from explore.org/meet-the-bears

This is Chunk (32). You'll note Chunk is Very Hefty and has eaten the entirety of the salmon species. Image
This is Grazer (128)

Grazer has done an excellent job this year. Just look at that gut! It's filled with success! Image
This is Walker (151)

Walker is SO ROUND. Lookit that sphere of a booty! Image
Read 13 tweets
Sep 10, 2020
Do you need a break from the multi-pack of apocalypses happening right now?

It's time for a thread of... ANIMALS WITH BALLS. (No not like they can stand up to the man. Or like they haven't been neutered. Or like Cinderella-style parties.)

This doggo is having the BEST DAY EVER
This kitteh is ready for the WNBA with those dribblin skills.
This bebe panda has a ball and is never gonna give it up, never gonna put it down.
Read 18 tweets
Aug 25, 2020
Last month's #snackening was from Thailand.

This month is from Egypt! Let's goooooo

1/ Assortment of packaged snac...
These snacks were... less unique. Few new flavors, and no "this must be what Satan's asshole tastes like" flavors. Maybe bc I lived in Israel which has some similar flavors? Anyway, we did keep almost all of these for nomming post tasting, which is rare!

2/
First up, "crazy tomato" puffs!

Josh hates all things tomato (and I wish I'd taken a pic of his face on this). It kind of tasted and smelled like Campbell's instant tomato soup powder but in cheese puff form. Honestly, it worked for me! Salty and artificial tomato-y... yum.

3/ Blue and orange bag of &quo...Two "crazy tomato"...
Read 17 tweets
Aug 16, 2020
Y'all, we finished Legend of Korra and I'm honestly disappointed. No thematic resonance, no great earned catharsis. Shoulda just watched Last Airbender again instead.

Spoilers below, mute this tweet if you don't wanna see em.
1/
I'm super down for Korra being bi, and Asami was treated so terribly throughout the show (both by writers & other characters) that she deserves a happy ending dammit.

But like, you gotta develop their relationship to make the pairing feel right? And make em kiss you cowards.

2/
And DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED on how terribly Zhu Li was treated, and somehow her marrying Varrick was The Big Catharsis? For the whole show? When she didn't even have a character trait to speak of until s4? I'm sorry, whut?

3/
Read 6 tweets
May 6, 2020
Everything is terrible, so here's a thread of ANIMALS RIDING OTHER ANIMALS to brighten your feed.

We start with this epic Least Weasel (seriously that's its name) riding a whole damn woodpecker in flight!
Here's a very smol doggo riding a very lorge doggo in perfect doggo symbiosis
This very clever snail is riding this frog to get a speed boost. Just because the frog is sitting still doesn't mean it's not working!
Read 38 tweets

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