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Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo

@GbengaWemimo

Jan 11

Deliberations from Freezone

Good Morning,
I have a question, could you please help me?

Two believers are planning on getting married and both are AS.

The plan is to use IVF for birthing or perform some genetic test on conception.

Please what is your advice on this?

Also is removing an embryo in a case where one wants to prevent having a Sickler child against the word of God, as this is what will be done in IVF?

Thank you God Bless you

Responses from Ministers

The fact they know their genotype and have made such decisions means they have weighed their choices know what their choices would cost and have prepared for it. So, they can go ahead with it.

In the course of the journey of a pregnancy, an abnormality scan is always done to check if there's any abnormality with the baby. If there is, you'd be asked if you want to keep it or remove it. You will then weigh your option or "put your faith to the test". If they decide to do this for genotype, I think it's fine. I don't think that is "going against the word of God".

Would you rather bring a child to life to make him/her suffer nonstop and in the process, you too suffer or you terminate it and have peace?

If you do not have money to wedge the wahala, that is double wahala because frustration will wound you. - Sister Helen

Science has come up with solutions for these kinds of situations, I don’t think it’s against the word of God especially if they want to go the science route to make sure they don’t birth to children who would suffer, people with HIV get married now and science helps the other partner to be safe, it’s not against Gods word.
Also, I think if they want to remove an embryo, they should go ahead.
My question to them is, would they have the mental capacity to wait through the stress of selecting a healthy child tho?
If not the two both of them should face front. - Sister Rukky

Science can check and they can pick a healthy child but it’s not guaranteed. I have come across a couple who paid a lot of money here in the UK (Caucasian British Family) to pick a healthy child - they also did further tests in a private clinic to doubly ensure the embryo was healthy - after birth - the child had a very very rare disability.

If the couple in question, does this they really have to weigh the options and have the emotional and mental capacity for the journey.
I am just saying they should weigh the options!
Can and are they able to provide, go through, and sustain the emotional, mental, and physical needs that they as parents would need or that the child would need?
Don’t forget financial need as well.

What’s the point of walking into it with eyes open and then queuing night and day on a healing line, barging at God’s door night and day?

However, I found out recently from a clinical research pharmacist that trials have been done and there are now stem cell therapy treatments to change the SS cells.
- Sister Bukky

If both of them understand the commitment and the financial implications, and they are ready for it.
This is almost like asking if is it right to do IVF to have a baby, or is it right to give birth through CS or natural delivery? - Sister Funmilola
Since they have both agreed to this choice, no wahala
Do you know how many eggs are termed non viable before a good one is chosen for fertilization?
What happens to those eggs?😁
Couples who are AA have done this and they have their testimonies.
It is called “Assisted Reproduction”

Funny enough, they might not have an SS child💁🏼‍♀️ because the probability is 1/4.
I pray their love stands the test of time o - Sister Jennifer

I have a case in our church. The man is SS and the wife AS. Their first daughter is SS and for many years they didn't have any other child because of the stress of care. They however eventually opted for Assisted Reproductive Techniques and today, they have a son that is 4 years old and AS.
It's the financial implications they should consider and if they can afford it,

let them go ahead. -Pastor Wale

Good morning family, in my opinion, they can go ahead with the IVF but using a donor egg who is AA. Who wants to go through the pain or stress of testing the embryo and destroying it after few months? - Sister Remi

Yesterday, the topic was transferring an unwanted pregnancy which we all assumed was a healthy embryo.
No one considered asking the young lady to have an abortion.
Is a child any less a child because the child is not in optimal health? - Sister FUNMI

While this is a way to look at it, it is also more reason for them to weigh their options well..their decision can affect someone else completely. How do you explain to a child that "..we knew we were both AS, we also had the option of assisted reproductive techniques but why abort you when you are not less of a child? Just a child that may live her whole life in pain. - Sister Nike

Do they have the financial war-chest(right now, not funds in hopes banksoo) for the medical procedures? If the answer is no, then they should deal with whatever feelings they have right now and part ways.

If they have the funds, then do they have the mental stamina to stand the waits and held-in expectations. The procedures require a lot of patience such that can easily peel-off those soft feelings they have for each other now.

Now they are already worried about removing embryo(s). They should know it's a practical part of the medical procedures to achieving healthy babies in such a situation. Can they stand this?
Why start future battles you can avoid today?
Why create multiple future heart aches while you can easily deal with just one now?
My candid take is;
It's better they handle that "overpowering feelings" that will still fade, and do the practical thing. Part ways. - Brother Pachiben

In my opinion (my own opinion o)
It is not only going to be financially stretching for them, but are they ready for the long emotional trauma and journey?
They are in love, I know. I just hope that love is enough for them in the long run.
There's no good or bad way to look at it, but it all depends on them and the long journey ahead of them.
If them go fit chest am, udo diri ha (peace be unto them). - Sister Ihuoma

Must they marry? It’s always better to bury the emotions early and find someone compatible in lieu of going through all the emotional, psychological and financial stress tomorrow. It’s always best to be practical, these same feelings they share today can change tomorrow cos marriage comes with its own weight. Me I feel it’s an unnecessary hazzle, na just small heartbreak it will cost now.

Or they have the faith to have their genotype changed supernaturally before tying the knot. - Sister Migdal
There is a way that seems right to man…….
We teach our children how precious they are. We quote scriptures telling them how God knew them before they were born and had His eyes on them in the womb.
Then we turn around and say, terminate embryos that look like they have issues?
There are states in America where babies have been terminated at 39 weeks. Is that less ethical than at 10weeks?
The real question here is the value we place on human life. Can I terminate my pregnancy is I want a boy and the embryo is female?
I have a good friend who believed the man was her husband and trusted God and married him. They have 2 children today, neither is SS.
My take is, if you do not have the faith to marry a fellow AS person, please walk away. - Sister FUNMI

This conclusion🤣🤣
Believers also have another option, the supernatural..but please, if no miracle happens to their genotype, or forth telling didn't stop the embryo from being unhealthy.. if it gets to the point they are sure the foetus is SS (except the Holyspirit is leading them not to, and they are sure He is the one o..) Please take it out..that is why you are having assisted reproduction in the first place - Sister Nike
What is the faith to marry an AS person, if I may ask?😃
I think it is a

different case when we are talking about male or female..in this case, the child will most likely ask why you decided to keep them.
A question ma, if someone comes to you today, AS married to AS, pregnant, foetus tested and SS, what will you advise? - Sister Nike
I don’t give advice my sister. The choice is up to them.
Couples have decided to marry and adopt rather than risk having SS children
I believe it’s a slippery slope when you accept selective abortion as a rule. - Sister FUNMI

If they are both considering marriage, that means they believe that they are probably right for each other.
The question is what is the Holy Spirit saying to them individually?
Is he giving a go ahead?
If yes,
The Holy spirit can heal them, I will advise that they/one of them waits to be healed first to AA.
If not,
They will have to take responsibility for their actions in future and the current butterflies in the tummy is nothing compared to the rude shock that the realities of birthing a sickler child will do to them, the marriage can scatter at the end.
It will end in many tears, sleepless nights, endless prayers and what nots.
Kon la oju won 👀
Heartbreak is a small thing.
'Love' should not degenerate to hate, regrets and bitterness because of the wrong choices.
If they are financially okay and they have the grit and money to wade the tide, then they may explore The Assisted productive technique mentioned earlier. - Sister Refe

I used to think so until I saw a case. After opolopo heartbreak, she found a guy that lovessss her, treats her right and she is at peace with (according to her) and they are now very much in love.
Family said no, she said she and her man have discussed and will go the scientific medical route to have healthy AS/AA children. They have already started looking into financial implications. I pointed out the emotional aspect especially the abortion part, she understands that too…
They are still going strong and they will tie that knot (from all the indicators I can see)…
Now, if na me, I go break up? I very much doubt it. 60% sure I won’t sha…
I know it doesn’t address the main case but thought to add it here… - Sister Ola

I have a family friend who took this route, dated since undergrad days in University, found out they were both AS when they were doing MSC in Canada. Broke up for about 4 years, none were finding partners anywhere. Came back together and tied the knot. They had their first baby last year November in Canada. - Sister Toyosi

Of course the way of the believer is supernatural. I believe in miracles, candidly my been here in this group, my personal life journey is a miracle.
But why should one, out vanity, jump from the pinnacle of the tower?
Why take that unnecessary leap just because you know the angels are holding you in their arms? - Sister Pachiben
This will be too stressful, you think you are ready and can handle some things, until the journey begins.
I think they should go their separate ways now, I don't like to gamble with things like this especially if you are aware of all or most of the possible outcomes.
Science? Yes, I have nothing against it, I like that they have/give options in matters like this. But, I am looking at the strain this process will have on the couple, and all that will be tested (faith, loyalty, love, finance, emotions...). Except they are thoroughly convinced, and are ready to continuously declare over what they want.

*Off Topic:* if they must stay together, can they agree not to have kids, and be doing the Lord's work 🙂. Or probably adopt. - Sister Adajay

Infatuation( what we call love) is a deadly thing. It shuts down the reasoning faculties, it blurs the sight and shuts down the ability to hear. -Pachiben

They might as well just adopt kids instead, why stress science 😅 - Sister Blessing

I will say they have to be sure that they are led by the Holy Spirit.
My uncle was AS and The Wife AS , and they got married without checking he was in the US and my

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Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo

@GbengaWemimo

Jan 7

Love Receipts

It was from the mouth of a comedian that I first heard the phrase “receipts of love”
The comedian was talking about his crashed marriage and how suddenly he realized that all the things he had done as a father and as a husband out of the goodness of his heart and the love he had for his wife and children did not count any longer unless he had receipts to prove them.
Imagine being happily married and keeping a receipt of every conversation you are having with your spouse, deliberately downloading apps to record your conversations in order to keep evidence of verbal abuse and other forms of abuse you are enduring in the marriage while being happily married to the person who you are gathering evidence against
A couple had a fight, and one or the other brought out a phone and started taking pictures of the damage done either to property, each other, or the children
How in God’s name is that still a marriage?
A marriage where every conversation is recorded secretly by the other party to extract evidence against the person who is supposed to be the most open and trustworthy partner in his or her life
I wonder how such partners feel when they make love to each other, knowing you are planning a divorce in your heart and gathering evidence against the person you are sharing that most intimate moment with
How is that true love?
How do you explain that to your children later in life?
How do you explain that to yourself?
Is that not more or less like sleeping with the enemy?
If you don’t want to be married to someone anymore, or you don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone anymore, what is wrong with walking away?
There are too many damaged people who have no business being in relationships but someone they found someone to relate with at that level and they are making the person’s life a sheer hell on earth just for the fun of it.
A brother explained to me that when he met his ex-girlfriend, she had recordings on her phone of evidences of wrongdoing by all her exes. These are carefully recorded conversations on the phone in which she would place a call to them after she must have hurt them and seen that they were about to break up with her
She would then speak in a very friendly manner, asking what her offense was and ensuring that for every answer she gave a counter reply regardless of how truthful or deceitful it is so that at a point the person would lose his or her temper and she would then claim the person had always had anger issues and was abusive in the relationship
He said she shared many of the recordings with him, like a red Indian sharing the scalp of his victims
He said he never knew she would do the same to him some months later
They had broken up, he wanted to settle things with her and see about reconciling when he suddenly got a phone call from her
He picked up the call and she began to speak to him in a quiet and composed voice about how the relationship started and other events that happened in the course of the relationship
He realized that throughout the conversation she was trying to paint herself as the sensible one while downplaying all the unscrupulous things she did in the course of the relationship
Suddenly it dawned on him that she was recording the conversation
He then asked her “Are you recording this conversation?”
At that point, she began to stutter because the recording is only effective when done without his knowledge
It was a puzzle to him
Who was she planning to share the recording with?
Her next lover?
Her parents?
Will it be the evidence that she couldn’t get married because all the men she had dated were crazy or will it be evidence that he was not a good match for her?
What could possess anyone to do such?
Insecurity?
Mental instability?
Seeking Validation from others?
Just being bitter and destructive on a whim?
I never could understand it
A lawyer later told me that these receipts are the evidence to present in the court of law in the case of a divorce
The lawyer said

when a partner is causing you physical damage and other forms of damages, it is best to take pictures, videos, and audio recordings of such so that you can prove your case before a judge.
I understand that if we are talking about gathering evidence against a stranger, an enemy, or even a family member who had certain issues and would often deny it
This can be done so that such a person can see for himself or herself and seek help
For example, the husband denies snoring or the wife denies snoring
the husband then records the wife while she snored and the wife records the husband while he snored
They both listen to their snores and laugh about it
That is fun and when it is done in the right spirit, it is okay
It can also apply when a man or a woman has certain habits like drunkenness
The other partner can record the one with the habit so that he or she can show it to the other partner when such becomes sober
How can you in good faith love someone, be in a relationship with the person or marry the person and still have the ability to gather evidence against the person so that other people can act as arbiters of your love and judge between the two of you to decide what?
The moment you started gathering evidence, you had already logged out of the marriage
You do not need a judge to tell you that
The fact that you can still sleep with the person while you had logged out and had changed your intention to saboteur is what bothers me.
There are lines of decency nobody should cross
Not because of the other person but because of what it does to you
I read the story of two lovers who at the beginning of their relationship decided they wanted to do something as serious as marriage
The man was upfront with his intentions but the lady was cautious
She felt they needed to spend some time together in a relationship and see if they could work out as a couple
They got into the relationship, and it was good maybe even better than good but the man had some habits that the lady couldn’t stand
He had friends with whom he clubs once a week, and whenever he went off with them he would return to his apartment late
The lady by this time had moved in with him and she didn’t like the late-night crawling thing
She talked to him about it several times, cried about it several times, and eventually escalated issues and they had a bitter row about it.
The day after the bitter row, the man called off the relationship
He told her he was no longer interested in marrying her because of all the things she said and done the previous night simply because he went to hang out with his friends
The lady didn’t know he would take her escalation to that level
She had let go of her apartment and didn’t have anywhere else to go
So she told him she would like to renegotiate their terms of engagement
She said it was the “marriage expectation” that made her care that much about his habit of hanging out with friends in lounges and clubs every Friday
If they take marriage off the table, she won’t give a hoot anymore where he goes on Fridays and whom he hangs out with as long as he does not cheat on her
She proposed that they go into a friend-with-benefit relationship
She stays in his apartment, cooks his meals, and warms his bed
He will take care of her financial and emotional needs but she will be free to talk to other guys while he will be free to talk to other ladies
When she finds the right person she will move on and he can do the same but because she was staying in his house he will give her two months’ notice so that she can move out
They both agreed to the deal and from that point on their relationship was heaven
They had no more fights
She was open to other suitors but no serious one showed up
He was open to other suitors but no serious one showed up
They went on like this for a year
On the eve of the New Year, he gave her a huge sum of money as rent support
The money was enough to cover full rent or half of her rent depending on the location she might choose to rent

a place
He also gave her a two-month ultimatum so that she could move on as agreed
He told her it was obvious they could not be married to each other and the wise thing to do was go their separate ways rather than waste each other’s time
She said she had agreed with him and she called agents to help her get on the house-hunting mission
However, she intensified her efforts to change his mind by ensuring she slept with him every night
She was not going to marry him but she didn’t want to leave his house either
He saw this and told her it would not work because he intended to get married in the new year and he would not be getting married to her
She told him she had no romantic interest in him
She more or less saw him as a sex toy or sex doll and was taking her pleasure when it was still available
After two months, she still hadn’t gotten an apartment of her own
He called for another meeting
This time she revealed her secret recordings of the two of them both audio and video and threatened to release them on social media and damn the consequences if he ever told her to rent her own place or move out of his apartment ever again
She said she was ready to face all the legal consequences and had even written her will because she was willing to die if he was prepared to kill her
She said she was not forcing herself on him as a wife but moved in on her own accord and would move out only when she was ready.
He kept quiet
He felt she was having a mental meltdown and as a result, he should just manage her until she was no longer on edge and then escape from her
A month later, he went to work and didn’t return to the apartment
She stayed on for a few days, called to plead with him to return home
He told her he would not return until she left and also told her he had given instructions to the security guards in the house that she could only take out her clothes and other belongings but none of his things
She left that same day
Did she expect him to continue to act freely around her after she had threatened that she was making videos and would joyfully share them on social media just for the fun of it
Every relationship requires a level of trust that should not be crossed as long as those in the relationship intend to stay together
The moment a husband starts blackmailing a wife to have sex with her (I was told of a husband who caught his wife cheating
He had video and picture evidence of the act
he extracted it from the wife’s phone
When he accused the wife and presented his evidence
The wife fell on her knees and began to beg
The husband insisted he was reporting to the wife’s parents and getting back his bride price
Wife begged and promised her husband she would do whatever he wanted if he would keep her secret
From that day, her husband demanded she pay half the rent, and half the school fees of the children, resign from her job, start trading (the person she was cheating with was a male colleague in the office), and have sex with him four days a week.
The wife complied but only for a year
The moment the phone on which the evidence was got bad, the wife filed for divorce, presented her own evidence in court, and walked away from the marriage.)
If love is not freely given, it is not worth it
Sleeping with someone you are gathering evidence against makes you a very bad person, like Delilah
It should not be encouraged at all
If push comes to shove and a couple had to land in court for any reason, the truth should be all the evidence that is needed
A friend told me I was being naive by taking this position, he said this is why Christians lose out in court despite having good cases
They will blatantly refuse to gather evidence against their opponents because gathering evidence is synonymous with keeping grudges or holding people in malice
I don’t think life should be that difficult
The same thing applies to parents who go to court claiming they have been the sole provider for the children in a marriage just so they can make up an excuse to

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Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo

@GbengaWemimo

Dec 31, 2024

As Told To Say

The month of lifting
A lot of blessings disguised as an opportunity to help
Seeds sowing (not giving money to any pastor or ministry) but deliberate acts of kindness (not charity) but for the elevation of those who will come into your space with great potentials

But without the immediate means to fulfill them.
Do not be mindful of those to whom you have shown kindness in the past who walked away without looking back or treated your extended hand of fellowship with disdain. Remember never to be wary of doing good, the season of harvest

Is at hand.
Encourage yourself in the Lord always; do not look to people for validation or acceptance. Put your thinking cap on facing the right direction. What use is a thinking cap that is worn the wrong way? Your dreams, not your STATE, must fuel your decision-making.

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Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo

@GbengaWemimo

Jul 15, 2024

I have always been a TRUMP supporter
I didn't choose to support him because of his party
I supported him because of his person
I like people who mean what they say and say what they mean
Political correctness is hypocrisy
Saying the "right "thing when I don't mean it is evil!

I have equally respected the Democratic Party of America
I love Bill Clinton and Obama
I bought all their published books and read them with joy
I don't believe a political party can get it right all the time
And I believe not all candidates for a political office will appeal to

the eyes and ears the way we desire them to
The attempt on the life of President Donald Trump is not something to ignore
Looking at footage again and again convinced me beyond doubt that it was allowed to happen by those who think the assassin was probably doing the whole world

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Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo

@GbengaWemimo

Jul 8, 2024

When you notice that someone has a soft spot for you, the ideal thing to do is to keep it as a form of social currency, so that on the day you really need him or her to come through for you, the person will not think twice.
Some of us think soft spots don't run dry, so we begin

to milk it
We put all our problems on it and make a nuisance of ourselves
By the time the soft spot runs dry, we would have lost all our social credit with the person and turn ourselves into persona non-Granta
Managing relationships is a skill that has saved many from ruin from

the days of Abraham till now
If you are dating a guy who is loving and generous, pushing him to cater to your needs and that of your friends is irresponsible
Pushing him to start fending for your family is irresponsible
If you think that is him appreciating your value, you are

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Gbenga Samuel-Wemimo

@GbengaWemimo

Jun 20, 2024

People who face death everyday tend to think in a certain manner
The way they dimension reality is different from the way people who are into less risky lifestyles dimension reality
A soldier and a teacher are from two different planets, the way they see life and relate with life

Are very different
The way they see love and relationships can never be the same
The way they arrange their world, separating what is real from what is not real is not the same.
Not all soldiers are combatants, every combatant deal with their own ghosts of war in their own way

To be married to a man who sees war constantly (risks being killed daily and also kill daily) and apply the rules that others apply to their husbands who is into banking, real estate, taxi driving, teaching or farming is the most unrealistic thing I have seen several women do

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