If you’re one of those Forgotten Americans who is sick & tired of hearing that Donald Trump is a ginormous asshole, which option is likelier to result in your hearing LESS about this particular issue over the next four years?
(a) Re-electing Trump
(b) Electing someone different
Despite the extraordinary amount of time I have spent calling Donald Trump a ginormous asshole, I TOO am sick of hearing about how Donald Trump is a ginormous asshole! I would love to go 24 hours without considering that such a ginormous asshole is in charge of the United States.
Has the time finally come when progressive-minded cosmopolitan Americans like ourselves can finally find common ground with our salt-of-the-Earth brothers & sisters in the heartland and agree that we are all sick and tired of hearing that Donald Trump Is a Ginormous Asshole?
The path forward could not be clearer:
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When Trump dies, it’s gonna be like Henry Kissinger, or maybe Rush Limbaugh. The headlines will read WORLD’S BIGGEST ASSHOLE DIES. Sober-minded journalists will struggle to think of anything positive to say about the man while the masses rejoice and celebrate.
JURY SELECTION AT THE TRIAL OF THE WORLD’S BIGGEST ASSHOLE
LAWYER: Do you have any preconceptions about the World’s Biggest Asshole?
🔵: How could I not have any preconceptions about the World’s Biggest Asshole
LAWYER: Thank you for your time
LAWYER: Do you have any preconceptions about the World’s Biggest Asshole?
🔴: How could I POSSIBLY have any preconceptions about the World’s Biggest Asshole?
LAWYER: You seem promising, although the flamboyant fluttering of your eyelashes was probably unnecessary
GOP: Time to pick a SCOTUS judge who will rule against abortion
HERITAGE FOUNDATION: Please select any of our fine candidates
GOP: We’ll take that one
HF: OK
(Senate Hearing)
DEMS: Can you tell us how you feel about abortion
GOP: HOW DARE YOU IMPOSE IDEOLOGICAL LITMUS TESTS
D: The GOP is trying to make abortion illegal
R: SILLY DEMOCRATS! 😂 The Supreme Court only overturned Roe v. Wade to allow the states the freedom to decide for themselves
D: But you are describing the “freedom” to prevent other people from having them
R: That’s the best kind!
D: If ending Roe v. Wade was so reasonable, why didn’t Barrett, Gorsuch or Kavanaugh admit it at their confirmation hearings
R: It is unreasonable to expect judges to honestly answer questions from activist Senators who were clearly trying to stop abortion from becoming illegal
RNC: In keeping with Republican campaigns of yore, we have worked tirelessly to court our conservative base! Now that the nomination is all wrapped up, it is time for our customary Pivot to the Center to demonstrate that we are a Party for all Americans…
TRUMP: The China Virus was a nothingburger that the Democrats amplified to make me look bad and masks were tyranny and Fauci is an idiot
RNC: Trump was instrumental in Operation Warp Speed, a government initiative to develop vaccines faster
TRUMP: I’m proud that I appointed the Supreme Court Justices who overturned Roe v. Wade
RNC: But really we pinky-swear that we’re not going to send women to jail for abortion or anything