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Dreamweasel Profile picture
@Dreamweasel
Sep 29, 2020 • 5 tweets • 1 min read • Read on X
It sounds crazy, but it just might work
If you’re one of those Forgotten Americans who is sick & tired of hearing that Donald Trump is a ginormous asshole, which option is likelier to result in your hearing LESS about this particular issue over the next four years?

(a) Re-electing Trump
(b) Electing someone different
Despite the extraordinary amount of time I have spent calling Donald Trump a ginormous asshole, I TOO am sick of hearing about how Donald Trump is a ginormous asshole! I would love to go 24 hours without considering that such a ginormous asshole is in charge of the United States.
Has the time finally come when progressive-minded cosmopolitan Americans like ourselves can finally find common ground with our salt-of-the-Earth brothers & sisters in the heartland and agree that we are all sick and tired of hearing that Donald Trump Is a Ginormous Asshole?
The path forward could not be clearer: Image

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More from @Dreamweasel

Dreamweasel Profile picture
Aug 14
TEN QUESTIONS ELON MUSK WOULD ASK KAMALA HARRIS IF SHE AGREED TO LET HIM INTERVIEW HER

10. I understand that immigration is a touchy subject, but is there a way to thread the Constitutional needle so we only let in wealthy white people with triple-digit IQs
9. Why do you have a problem giving states the freedom to decide whether the women who live there are allowed to have abortions or not

8. Why is your sense of humor so awkward and weird
7. As you know, Hillary Clinton lost to Donald Trump eight years ago. How would you avoid her fatal political mistakes, namely being an overeducated woman with a nasty-sounding cackle that men find emasculating
Read 8 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Aug 12
I don’t want to say anything too controversial here, but if you support Donald Trump there is something deeply wrong with you.

You don’t care about issues or personal responsibility, and are no longer capable of discerning right from wrong. Image
It’s 2024. People have access to information. The only rational response to “I support Donald Trump” is “What the hell is wrong with you?”
I know we’re not allowed to say that. I know we have to pretend that having terrible political opinions doesn’t necessarily mean Republicans are terrible people.

But they’re the reason this 275-pound albatross still hangs around our country’s neck.
Read 6 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Aug 7
TEN THINGS DEMOCRATS CAN SAY THAT REPUBLICANS PROBABLY WISH THEY COULD SAY

10. Their Presidential ticket inspires hope for the future

9. Their current Presidential nominee is lucid, informed, and can answer direct questions
8. They have energized a base of young voters to help shape the future of their country

7. Campaign speeches are relatively devoid of self-pitying rhetorical detours about how much the Fake News Media hates them
6. The most creative people in the country have come forward to endorse their candidates

5. Their current Presidential nominee will not have to interrupt their campaign to attend any criminal trials, hearings, or sentencings
Read 6 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Jul 31
TEN WAYS THE GOP WILL ATTEMPT TO DEFUSE ALLEGATIONS THAT THEY ARE “WEIRD”

10. Anchors on Fox News will participate in contest to determine “Who Can Go the Longest Without Absolutely Freaking Out About Migrants or Transgenders”
9. Elon Musk, realizing that money is not the key to happiness and that true enlightenment comes from within, will become a Buddhist monk and take a vow of silence

8. Stylist will sit down with JD Vance and suggest he go with the beard OR the eyeliner, but not both
7. Donald Trump will lean into his current status as a relatable “everyman” by virtue of being a 34-time convicted felon who lives at a luxurious Palm Beach resort and plays golf every day and will never see the inside of a prison cell
Read 8 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Jul 11
TEN REASONS TRUMP IS PUBLICLY DISTANCING HIMSELF FROM PROJECT 2025

10. Has no firm recollection of meeting any of his 140 staff members who contributed to it

9. Dystopian crackdowns on abortion and birth control might disrupt his otherwise plentiful supply of Palm Beach hookers
8. Might appear unseemly to suggest that he had anything to do with a plan to place all government agencies directly under Presidential control
7. The project’s criminalization of pornography appears to be somewhat at odds with Elon Musk’s apparent plan to make it mandatory

6. It’s ridiculous to suggest that the Project 2025 plan to “build a wall at the Mexican border” has anything to do with Trump
Read 7 tweets
Dreamweasel Profile picture
Jul 9
TEN REASONS TRUMP’S DEBATE PERFORMANCE WASN’T AS BIG OF A STORY AS BIDEN’S DEBATE PERFORMANCE

10. “World’s Most Prolific Liar Lies Some More” is really more of a Dog Bites Man scenario
9. Convicted felon who is still running for president after attempting coup of previous election may be losing ability to surprise us

8. Trump’s complete disengagement from reality was already kind of a pre-existing condition
7. Claim that Biden plans to “quadruple people’s taxes” technically true for people like Trump who never pay them

6. Trump only told 30 lies in 2 hours, which was disappointingly slow compared to his peak performance in office
Read 7 tweets

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