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Elie Mystal Profile picture
@ElieNYC
Oct 2, 2020 • 4 tweets • 1 min read • Read on X
I'm going to take a nap. Last time my thoughts were this disorganized I was getting my ass kicked in a bar fight I didn't want to be in.
OKAY, I'll tell the story:

My friends and I were at Charlies Kitchen in Harvard Square and one of them decided to steal the pickles off OTHER PEOPLE'S PLATES. We told him to stop, we told him eventually he'd steal the wrong pickle. He didn't listen.
So eventually he steals a pickle and like four guys rise up to, uhh, challenge him.

They start beating him, JUSTIFIEDLY, but my other friends says we're being BAD friends by just letting him get wailed on by 4 dudes.

So we go over, intending to be peacemakers.
And, like, very quickly WE were getting beat up and I was saying like "No, you're RIGHT, you have the RIGHT OF THIS" WHILE they were punching me in the face.

And then we got THROWN out like DJ Jazzy Jeff and I landed in a puddle.

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More from @ElieNYC

Elie Mystal Profile picture
Nov 8
When I first signed up for this, I knew the danger was that Trump would win and I'd be stuck on a boat with a bunch of sad people and I'd likely want to jump in the ocean.

But now, I'm kind of excited for this, because progressives have *a lot* to talk about.
After 2016, the "response" from the "opposition party" was all #resist and pink pussy hats and "not my President" and building for the "blue wave."

This time, I think the progressive response must needs be different.
We're not building for 2028 (I mean, some are, and best of luck to you on that). A real *response* builds for 2050. 2060.

The tactics of the *opposition party* in a one-party state simply have to be different than in a 2-party system where the loser is waiting for their turn.
Read 4 tweets
Elie Mystal Profile picture
Nov 7
The challenge, after a loss, is to learn something *new.* Most people aren't doing that right now. They're taking in information and trying to fit that within their prevailing world view.

The NEW thing I'm learning is: People do not and will not vote for harm mitigation...
We see this most obviously with the people who withheld their votes due to Gaza, and instead invite Trump's Armageddon. But we see it elsewhere. Latinos did not vote for harm mitigation, they voted to harm others and think they'll be spared.
White women did not vote for harm mitigation. They voted to allow white men to do harm and think they'll vicariously benefit.

Workers did not vote for harm mitigation. They voted to let Elon bring them pain and think one day his money will trickle down to them.
Read 8 tweets
Elie Mystal Profile picture
Oct 31
I can't do this justice on Twitter, but I have a whole theory on why GenX white men (and we're talking about Wisconsin here, so we're definitely talking about white men) have been most susceptible to Trump's campaign of open misogyny and "retribution" against women.
It starts with AIDS and how the disease completely weirded our early sexual encounters. Continues to how "the rules" changed on us rapidly during our most sexually active years (for the better but try telling that to some guys) Lack of non-problematic male role models and heroes
And now that they're old and ostensibly "in power," people are totally DONE with the toxic male interoffice creepiness these guys thought they'd "earn," and DEMAND language discipline some guys learned in the 90s but most didn't.
Read 4 tweets
Elie Mystal Profile picture
Oct 25
I'm getting sick of people saying "cancelling subscriptions hurts the writers not the owners." It's an objectively true statement that lacks the context of:
A. Well if we're being real about NOTHING *hurts* billionaires. Being a billionaire literally buys you out of consequences
B: Cancelling a subscription to a publication is pretty much the only way to register DISPLEASURE with the publication's offerings.
C: The writers cannot be expected to resign en masse (newsflash, writers are generally poorly paid and having any kind of actually paying journalism job is something most people need to hold onto). But if the WaPo loses stature and reach, some will find better places to work.
Read 4 tweets
Elie Mystal Profile picture
Sep 26
Indictment unsealed. I'll be busy for a bit.
Really kinda gotta hand it to Turkey for investing in corrupting a lowly Brooklyn Borough President. Big payoff for them. They should probably be in charge of the Jacksonville Jaguars next draft board.
Businessman-3 is the Nate Silver of Turkey, y'all

"During their meeting, ADAMS and the Promoter solicited campaign contributions from Businessman-3, who as a Turkish national could not lawfully contribute to any U.S. campaign. During the meeting, Businessman-3 agreed 18 to contribute $50,000 or more to the 2021 Campaign, believing that ADAMS might one day be the President of the United States and hoping to gain influence with ADAMS."
Read 6 tweets
Elie Mystal Profile picture
Sep 12
Okay let’s do this:
1. my wife waiting to see how I’m going to butcher essential details about our own children.
2. My mother hoping I don’t fuck up my solo in the recital.
3. I’ve walked through the door, 2hrs after curfew not already dead, which was my only way to stay alive. Image
4. My sister would like to know what the fuck I’m talking about.
5. My mother would like to know what I’m talking about.
6. My wife would like to know what I’m talking about.
7. They realize I’m actually talking about that thing I should never be talking about in public.
8. Something I said or did in the past is about to be read back to me like I’m a child and I’m about to be exposed for my hypocrisy. Documents will most likely be produced. I hate this fucking look so much. I KNOW WHAT I SAID IM NOT A CHILD.
Read 4 tweets

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