Thread by @mynamesnotgordy

What I learnt on the Twitter this week:

1. Ford government moves Ontario back into lockdown Stage 12.B Plaid. Strippers are no longer allowed to visit family for Thanksgiving weekend unless the dinner is held at a casino.
2. Trump says there's a slight chance COVID isn't a hoax.

3. After writing Nat Post piece saying socialist coup is likely in Canada, Leslyn Lewis warns old stock Canadians to be on the lookout for telltale signs like universal healthcare, more VW camper vans and fewer O&G bailouts.
4. O'Toole announces new CPC slogan: "Slogans're bad!"

5. UCP Issue Managers say lower corporate taxes means corporations pay more taxes. That's it.
6. UCP MLA says people collecting federal pandemic support spend their days eating Cheezies and watching cartoons. W. Brett Wilson outraged; says he also spends part of his day tweeting.

7. Ontario Minister of Health says Ontarians must collapse their social bubbles, revert to a one-family lockdown state and be sure to wash their hands after getting back from their pub crawls.
8. Lecce announces the fifth prong of his Safe School Plan: Expressing his gratitude

9. Doug announces $3-an-hour PSW pay increase. Says he loves PSWs and they have his undying gratitude until March 2021.
10. Scott Moe calls an election. Denise Batters panics for a minute, calms down after she remembers her job is forever.
11. Poilievre outraged. Sits angrily.

12. Conservatives outraged Federal Infrastructure Bank hasn't yet spent millions on road signs promoting a national program that doesn't actually exist, saying Harper proved this worked.
13. Doug says he'll download the COVID alert app once he gets a chance to upgrade his burner.

14. Kenney says White Supremacist rally held in Edmonton was the work of "a small number of kooks" and he's checked their protest permit and other than a lot of spelling errors everything looked in order, legally speaking.
15. Adriana LaGrange's picture published on milk cartoon.

16. O'Toole announces China is Marcia Brady and the CPC is Jan.
17. O'Toole says that, as well as being a Captain Canada, he is also planning to be Canada's next Al Borland.
18. O'Toole beats COVID. Says he owes it all to his military training in hand-to-hand COVID warfare.

19. Growing number of right wing politicians contracting COVID. Right wing pundits suggest it's a left wing conspiracy. That's it. That's the funny part.
20. The White House Rose Garden to have new memorial installed. Sculptor for "Greatness is a Process" statue not yet selected.

21. Doug Ford suggest that, besides not having adequate testing capacity available and having no clear strategy for containment of the inevitable second wave, his government's summer campaigning ... erm ... planning efforts were top notch.
22. Lecce redoubles some stuff. Again.

23. Trump tells Proud Boys to have their moms stock up on tater tots and do their cammo laundry, in case the election is fair.
24. The whole world is spinning pretty off kilter these days. Everyone's stressed. Be kind. Appreciate beauty. Buy cans of soup.