Thread by @vandroidhelsing

GBBO cake bust challenge let’s go

everyone is

hm

let’s say “very ambitious”

the tragic thing about Matt Lucas as a host is that the show is too gentle for him to go around telling people they don’t have the range

going cartoony is the right choice but almost everyone seems to think they can pull off a rococo* sculpture

or in the case of a chocolate cake

rococoa

I’m really into the poetic grimness of making a Marie Antoinette head out of cake

hello I am a cake sculptor my name is Gian Lorenzo Bunnini

ISOMALT EYES NO NO NO NO DON’T DO THIS DON’T DO THIS

I can’t breathe

rice paper for the Marie Antoinette hair is actually really clever

wow that Louis cake is Therouxly awful

the last time I laughed with this combination of horror, amazement, and shock, it was when Steve Buscemi went into a wood chipper

Bless their hearts, they are all trying so hard

I suppose one might politely call the Bob Marley cake ~conceptual~

this guy is so lucky I don’t know what Tom DeLonge looks like

the GROAN I just emitted at the Lupita Nyong’o cake

The Freddie Mercury cake is so cute, it’s too bad the head had an accident

Peter is my adopted son

BISCUIT TIME

Rowan dresses like a male version of Prue and i am of course into that

Noel’s loose smiley face sweater makes him look even more like a manic pixie dream girl than normal

oh WOW rose water and saffron florentines oh WOWWW

I don’t doubt that Noel actually did have a dream about Paul wearing just an apron. We cannot control the urges that roil in our hearts like eels in the Thames.

Did nobody see the florentines technical
Why are you baking in molds so they can’t get lacy
WHY ARE YOU TRIMMING THEM

Oh my god Rowan is making rainbow waistcoats

I had too much for dinner so I am not appreciating this show as much as I want to. Just getting sort of nauseated even looking at chocolate right now

amazing how everyone on GBBO regardless of season shares the same delusion, to wit, that white chocolate actually has discernable flavor

you could add sugar and some fat to wood pulp and arrive at something functionally identical to white chocolate

calling white chocolate “chocolate” is the same as how some people in the Midwest call certain jello dishes “salad”

we have handshake sign

If I were on GBBO I would find a reason to make a Dune-themed cake but I wouldn’t call it that, I would just exhale a cloud of Dune references around it and wait for the audience at home to notice

Macaroons? a real “how hard can it be” moment for me here

like obviously the curd complicates it here but…curd isn’t that hard and neither are macaroons

we are all friends here so I feel I can safely admit that I hate mango

The motion Noel makes for Paul gripping Lottie’s hand with his “big sausagey fingers” does not look like a handshake

I feel like a lot of people this season have accents I haven’t heard before, which at this point takes some doing

“You have five minutes—until we tell you that you have ten minutes.”

Sadly I must admit that Matt as a host is exactly the same as I would be

Why would you make them use a star nozzle when the macaroons just lose definition anyway

There seem to be a lot more jokes this season about the contestants’ mortality

BISCUIT DINNER SET!!

I don’t know why but whenever people talk about having great-aunts I automatically see them as a few notches higher on the social scale. As if only wealthy people and aristocrats can have great-aunts?

I am Bertie Wooster

Lottie is my queen

Sura is my other queen

Rowan is my third queen

Genuinely surprised there wasn’t any last-minute breakage

Dave reminds me of someone and I canNOT think of who

aw nooooooooo not [redacted]

I liked them. Not in my top faves but I liked them :(

I am happy that this year there’s nobody I’m hoping will fail. There’s been a couple seasons recently where I can’t wait for certain people to be eliminated, but not this time