Thread by @anamariecox

I mention my time in psych wards occasionally, I’m not ashamed of it and it’s definitely something changed my life and ways of thinking in extremely positive ways. But I have never thought of it as relevant to my punditry. Until this cycle. /1

Mostly, I’ve been reminding people to not reflexively call racists and conspiracy theorists “crazy,” because a) they probably aren’t b) most of the people I know with mental illnesses not racist and c) people with mental illnesses are usually the *target* of bigotry. /2

But today I’ve been thinking about the experience of being hospitalized against your will, of the arrogance that infects (sorry) you when you think you don’t really need to be there. /3

So, while being VERY CLEAR to say that I am not diagnosing Trump with a mental illness, feel like I have some experience with feeling furious that I’ve been forced to confront something wrong with me that I felt perfectly able to fix myself. /4

That was my first visit to the ward. I did check myself in, I IMMEDIATELY REGRETTED IT, and just lied & lied & lied about everything; did my best to convince everyone my being there was BOTH a huge mistake and obviously I’d learned my lesson and just let me go I’ll be fine. /5

So I kind of get the “joy ride.” It’s not proof that he’s making poor decisions (any more poor than usual!), necessarily, it’s grasping at normalcy, it’s trying to take back control from a disease—an enemy that can’t be lied to or spun or ignored. /6

The thing is, you do not get better if this is your attitude. Much as his arrogance led to his *getting* this illness, his arrogance could very well be the reason his course of the disease goes poorly. Denial is infectious in its own way (nb Conley’s briefing). /7

I thought I might have a Big Insight, but not sure I do! Just this: If one wallows in denial but is then lucky enough to get a second chance at facing the killer inside you, the whole experience changes. My second visit to a psych ward was a gosh darn spiritual experience. /8

Because I had & accepted a revelation: “OH, this is where I am SUPPOSED to be. This is where people who are sick like me go.” Everything in my life that’s good followed that insight. I don’t have much hope that Trump can have that moment of grace, but...I’ll pray he does. /fin

A snarky and perhaps unchristian thought but can’t help but add… /fin+…

If he thinks the hospital is bad, wait until he experiences jail.

I meant PRISON. Frack. PRISON.